Who influences You? S. 2 E. 26

Listen to this episode to understand who influences you and how they affect your attitudes, behaviors, beliefs and actions. 

Show Notes

Episode Summary: 

The people who are around us influence our every day actions and behaviors. They also influence our beliefs, our values, and our attitudes. Who influences you and are they influencing you in a way that is positive? Today we’re talking about the people around you and how to make sure their influence is helping you to live the life you want to live.

In this episode:

You may have heard this often shared quote by author, speaker, and personal development coach Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

This quote speaks to your environment, and how your environment affects you. Today we are going to break this down and look at the implications.

So, who are the five people you spend the most time with?  We’re talking adults here, not your children or the students you work with.

Go ahead and take a couple of minutes to think of your five people.

Ready? Let’s take a look at how the people we spend the most time with influence us.

The people you spend the most time with influence your daily habits. 

Your daily habits influence almost every aspect of your life. We’re looking at small things here, for example, what you eat or drink, and what you wear. They influence the books you read, the TV shows you watch and the movies you go to.

You have all probably experienced the phenomenon of showing up at school dressed your colleagues. That’s happened to us, and we see you and your colleagues dressed alike in your Instagram and Facebook posts.

All of these may seem like very small things, but small things take up much of our time, and in doing so, have the power to shape our lives in ways we may or may not have intended.

For example, Paula is a reader. She loves historical fiction and could happily read it for the rest of her life. However, a good friend convinced her that memoirs on audio were wonderful. Her friend’s latest recommendation was Finding Me by Viola Davis. Paula loved the book and found herself enjoying other memoirs as well. It is a perfect example of how a small act by a friend influenced not only Paula’s reading habits, but also how she views others as she learns about their lives.

The people around you influence your actions. 

If we take the habits idea one step bigger, we are looking at how others influence your actions. You likely buy drive a car that is similar to the people around you. You go on vacation to the same campground or resort your friends have been to. If all of your friends smoke, it becomes easy for you to smoke as well.

The people around you influence how you spend your time. If the five people you spend the most time with spend their time taking classes for professional growth, you are more likely to do so. If they spend their time hanging out in bars or playing tennis, you will likely do so as well.

We are not making judgements here, we want to make you aware that you are probably being influenced by others, even if you aren’t consciously aware of it.

At our workshops, we will often have teacher friends attend together. One of them will always say something like, “I thought the workshop sounded interesting but I hadn’t taken action to sign up. Then, when my teacher bestie messaged me to see if we wanted to go together, we were both signed up by the end of the day. We like to do things together. She loves to learn and so do I so when we can do so together, we are all in.”

The people you spend the most time with influence your world view.

If you live in a bubble, it can be difficult to see outside of that bubble. We may be enriched by opening up our worldview, to understand different points of view, different options, and different opportunities.

The more we know about different ways of life, of different cultures, and different perspectives, the more we understand other people. This filters down to our work with children, as we can better understand their background and experiences, we can work with them in more supportive ways.

Recently we worked with a teacher who shared that her worldview was opened up through travel. Until she was married, she had never traveled outside of her home state, and even then rarely beyond a hundred miles or so. Her husband had family all over the world, and after they were married, she traveled with him to see family. She was amazed at different foods, different cultural traditions, and even different climates. Prior to these experiences, she often just thought that everyone was raised and lived with the same values and culture as she had experienced in her small farming community. She saw her family’ ways as the right ways. After traveling, she realized that there are many right ways to live. She came to understand that other families also cared about their loved ones, and that they worked hard to provide for their families needs too.

Author Brene Brown says, “It is hard to hate people close up.” Expanding your world view helps you to know and understand other views. It doesn’t mean you will change your values, or what you personally believe, but it does mean that you respect that there are other points of view.

The people you spend the most time with influence your attitude.

When you think about people you know, you can probably think of some negative people. These are people who are often in a bad mood, who bring a lot of drama, or who are naysers. They bring you down and drain your energy.

It is also possible that this influence comes through who you are friends with on social media. Do you read posts from negative people, or people who are always complaining?

On the opposite spectrum are people who are positive and supportive. They have an optimistic outlook. They are consciously working on their own goals and their own improvement. They are energy bringers, and life affirmers.

Here is an example. When you are watching television, you are basically inviting the characters into your living room. If you regularly watch a show with an angry, abrasive character who is rude and condescending, you are essentially allowing that person into your house every time they are on the screen. If they showed up at your front door, then acted obnoxiously in your living room day in and day out, would you let them in?  Probably not. Yet when you turn on the television out of habit, you are exposed to that negative behavior on a regular basis. The same could be said about kind and caring individuals on your screen.

Whether it is a series, a movie, or a short video on social media, consider this- would I let that person walk in my room right now and spend time with my loved ones? If not, maybe it is a sign to “spend less time” with them.

What kind of attitude are the five people you are spending the most time with bringing into your life?

Do you want to be surrounded by people who complain and whine? People with no vision except for what is right in front of them? People who drain your energy or make you constantly defensive? People who kill your dreams, the naysers and dream slayers?

Do you want to surround yourself with people who hold you back?

Or do you want to be surrounded by growth minded people, people who are optimistic and inspiring? Do you want to be around people who bring positive change, and people who bring out the best in you?

We’ve chosen to surround ourselves with people who are daring to lead an inspired life. That is the basis for this podcast, which we explained in the very first episode.

The decision is yours- do you choose to be around people who suck the life out of you or people who bring life to you?

You get to choose who you spend the most time with.

Choose wisely.

Recap:

The people who are around us influence our every day actions and behaviors. Take time to think about the people you spend the most time with. These people are influencing your beliefs, values, attitudes, habits, world view and actions. Are your people influencing you in a way that is positive and that helps you to live the life you want to live? Surround yourself with people who lift you up and inspire you. They are impacting you daily.

Quotes: 

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Jim Rohn

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Book: Finding Me by Viola Davis

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired together Teachers podcast Episode one The Inspired Life

 

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More About Inspired Together Teachers:

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Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

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