What’s Draining Your Energy? S. 2 Ep.22

 

Listen to this episode to find out how to stop the things that are draining your energy.

Show Notes:  

Episode Summary:

Have you ever started out a day or week with lots of energy only to find that you are somehow drained of all of that energy, leaving you feeling frustrated, tired, or maybe even angry? In today’s episode we are going to discuss what might be draining your energy and talk about solutions to the problem. Your energy is important; you’re going to want to hear today’s episode!

In this episode: 

We all need energy to do our best work and enjoy our lives outside of work. Every action you take- and even action you don’t take, can drain your energy. Energy is not just physical, it is also mental and emotional.

How do you think of energy?  Is it something you are given?  Is it something you create?

Brendan Burchard says, “The power plant does not have energy, it makes energy.”

Like the power plant, energy isn’t something that just exists in you. Energy involves taking what is coming to you and controlling it in ways that help you to have energy. You can have more or less energy, depending on how you react and control life’s circumstances.

The first step is to notice where your energy flows well and where you are lose your energy. Once you figure out what is causing your lack of energy, you can address it.

What is draining you of your precious energy? What can you do to reclaim that energy?

Quote: 

“You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks light in you.”

Alexander den Hejer

Fix the small things that are draining you.

Let’s start with the little things. Little things add up. Sometimes, the easiest fix to draining energy is just to deal with little things that have been piling up.

We’ve probably all done this-letting dishes build up in the sink. We don’t wash a few dishes from breakfast, which would have been a five minute job. Then we skip dishes again, now it is a 20 minutes job. Two days later we have a pile of dirty dishes. You get to the point you just want to burn the kitchen down.

In the meantime, those dishes have been nagging at you! Every time you go near the kitchen, it drains your energy a little bit.

It’s like vampire electricity. When you have many different appliances plugged in, you don’t realize they are using electricity even if you’re not using them at the moment, but they are. They might have a small light on in the control box, for example the little on the microwave or stove panel. It’s no big thing, but if you have dozens of things using tiny bits of electricity, it adds up. Those things are literally draining energy!

Here are some more examples of little things that drain your energy bit by bit:

A messy desk which means it takes more time to find something

A missing button on a shirt that you keep reaching for in the morning before you realize you can’t wear it

You keep putting if off making an appointment, for example driving around with the maintenance light on in your car.

Make a list of all the little things in your house or at school that are bugging you. What are you putting up with?

Consider taking a few minutes to sew on that button or make that appointment. Or set aside an hour and see how many of those little things you can take care of. It will feel good to cross them off the list.

Every little thing that you are tolerating is draining you down.

Look for things you are doing that are emotionally draining you.

You might be worrying.

• We worry about things that haven’t happened yet, and might never happen.
• We worry about what others think of us.
• We worry about problems out of our control.
• We worrying about things that have happened in the past.

Worrying is a habit, and we can learn to worry less by remembering this quote from Barbara Cameron,  “Worry about tomorrow steals the joy from today.”

Another example of emotional energy drain is comparison.

• You can’t control what others think of you.
• Comparison often caused by too much social media or FOMO.
• Comparison steals your joy and drains your energy.

Another emotional drain leak is getting involved in things that are not yours to do.

• You get involved in someone else’s drama.
• You spending time and energy on things you shouldn’t do, for example taking on someone else’s work.
• You are working on something that is not in your circle of influence.

Solutions for emotionally draining experiences:

Notice what is draining you emotionally. Spend quiet time to think, meditate, journal, pray- these things often help bring you back to your center and can calm anxiety and stress.

Focus on things you can control. You might want to listen to episodes 6 and 7 to help you set priorities and prevent, reduce and eliminate stress.

Look at things that are physically draining you.

You already know these things so we will just mention them briefly.

What are the things that drain your physical energy:

Lack of sleep

Lack of hydration

Unhealthy food and drinks

Lack of physical activity- Physical activity actually gives you energy, though it seems in the moment like it is taking it.

Unfulfilled medical needs- a nagging toothache, physical pain in the body

Pay attention to what your body needs. You will never have enough energy by skipping these essentials.

We also lose energy through draining relationships.

We have all kinds of relationships, some by choice and some by birth or through work. There are things that can drain our energy in all kinds of relationships. You can’t control all the people in your life or all the ways they may drain you, but you can control your reactions.

You may have to deal with gossipy family and friends, emotional meltdowns of your children, or other issues with family members or colleagues who drain your energy. Some relationships are especially difficult, leaving you feeling frustrated or even angry.

These people are energy vampires. The energy vampire tends to be pessimistic. When there is an opportunity, they will see all the ways that it won’t work.

Energy vampires often engage in negative talk. It is true that sometimes we just need to vent to someone we trust. However, some people have negativity bias that works on overload, allowing them to see all the ways other people are problems without seeing the strengths that they bring.

Energy vampires resist change. “The way we have always done it is fine, thanks.”  “We tried that years ago and it didn’t work.” Along with this attitude comes an unwillingness to problem solve. “What’s the point?  It won’t work anyway.”

Inflexible people often see the world in black and white. It is often all or nothing with this kind of person. They tend to have strict rules and never relax them. They are quick to see right or wrong and not willing to look at individual circumstances. They may also struggle with empathy, seeing someone else as wrong or bad.

Energy vampires can also be grumpy. You smile or say good morning and they answer with a grunt. They are irritated by cheerful people. They are not inclined to engage in social niceties. This type of person can easily take the wind out of your sails and change your attitude if you let them.

How to deal with an energy draining person:

Don’t take things personally. Their attitude is not about you or caused by you.

Paula shares that in situations where she is reminding herself not to take things personally, she often tries  to channel her inner Dr. Phil. If you remember Dr. Phil, he was often heard saying, “It’s not about you!”

Understand that you may not be able to change the person.

Do your best to stay positive and not let their energy affect your own energy. Try to reframe their statements in a productive way or at the very least, try not to perpetuate the negativity.

Keep this little mantra in your pocket:

“I will not let this person frustrate me or make me angry. I choose not to let this person change my attitude.”

There may be times when you can choose to limit your exposure to people who drain you, though there are some relationships you want or need to keep in your life.

We also want to say that when dealing with severe conflicts or heavy emotional trauma due to relationships, you may need professional help.

Doing things that do not align with your values drains your energy.

When we expend time on things that are not important to us, or where we don’t find purpose, it often feels energy draining.

Examine how you are spending your time. Do the things you are spending time on have purpose for you?

Here is an example. You are asked to be involved in running a school or charity event. It will require a good deal of your time.  Is the cause important to you?  Will it positively impact people you care about?  Is it within your circle of influence? Asking yourself these kinds of questions and considering how it will align with your values will help you make wise choices.

Doing too many things that don’t align with your values will drain your energy.

Make sure you find time for things that you love. Alexander den Hejer says,

“You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks light in you.”

Take time every day to do something you love to do, something that sparks a light in you. Go for a walk, read a book, paint, cook, talk with a friend. Even just a few minutes a day will help you to renew your energy. Doing something you love is like wearing garlic around your neck to ward off an energy draining vampire.

Don’t spend all of your time invested in things that distract you from your real priorities.

Recap: 

We want to maximize our energy. When it comes to energy, you don’t have energy, you create it. Being aware of where you can create energy and what is draining your energy can help you to have the energy to do the things you want to do in you life.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

https://inspiredtogetherteachers.com/dont-be-the-colleague-that-others-want-to-avoid/

Podcasts episode 6: Set Priorities to Take Back Your Life

Podcast episode 7: Prevent, Eliminate and Reduce Stress

 

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