Today the Education Divas are happy to welcome guest blogger Deborah Ward.  Deborah is mom to a son she calls “Little Bean”  who has special needs.  She has great insight and suggestions that can help both parents and teachers. We loved her practical ideas for using visual schedules and picture helpers.  We welcome Deborah to the blog today!

Being the mother of a child with special needs is hard.  I read somewhere that parenting a special needs child carries the same stress levels as that of a combat solider.  While I have way too much respect for our men and women in uniform to boldly claim this as truth, I do have a prescription for an anxiety disorder to prove that my son’s condition has an effect on my mental health.  However, I have found a few things that help out in our everyday life.

1) Keep a planner.  I actually keep two.  One is for work and the other is for family/personal.  These bad boys keep me alive.  Not literally, of course, but they really do keep my mind and life from plunging into chaos.  Here’s a planner tip: Make it cute so you’ll want to look at it.  This layout was my absolute favorite! Another rule: If you write it in the planner, you have to do it.  Paper planners are all the rage right now.  You can find really nice ones at crafts stores, Target and Walmart, online (Here’s an Erin Condren referral code to save you some $$), or you can print one off from a number of boards on Pinterest.

2) Have a support system.  I am so lucky in this aspect of my life.  I have parents, siblings, doctors, and friends that rock my socks off! Not to mention a great husband. We don’t get it perfect, but we’re there for each other.  Every once in a while there will be some horrific story pop up about a parent killing their special needs child, or putting them on a plane and shipping them back from whence they came.  Are tragic as these stories are, I kind of understand.  If it weren’t for my support system, those stories might be me.  If you don’t have an amazing support system to lean on, look into support groups! Use this wonderful tool brought to you by Mental Health America.

3) Decorate your home with Visual Schedules and Picture Helpers.  When we took Little Bean to be evaluated back in the spring, we weren’t able to get a definite diagnosis. More test, blah, blah, blah… That’s the story of Bean’s life.  However, since Vanderbilt Children’s Hospital rocks, they gave us a complete “visual calendar”.

I was extremely skeptical, but was willing to try anything.  Let me tell you, this simple little tool has made a world of difference.  Children with neurological disorder like Autism and ADHD don’t process information the way you and I do.  They can only handle one piece of the situation at a time.  With my neuro-typical children I can give them a verbal list of things I want done and they can do it.  If I did that with LB, his brain would explode and he would have a meltdown.

Bean LOVES his visual schedule.  It’s so easy for both of us.  Arrange pictures of things that need to be done, in the proper order.  Our morning schedule looks something like this: eat, take medicine, brush teeth, get dressed, fix hair, grab backpack, go to school.  As a reward, he gets to take the pictures off the board when he is done. Sometime he’ll even sneak a picture on to the board. For example, he loves taking big bubble baths.  However, we live in California and we have an epic drought going on, so big baths are rare treats.  That little stinker thinks he can fool his Momma!

While I was given this particular visual calendar as a gift from the hospital, it would be very simple to make one from scratch.  You can get all of the supplies at Walmart or Target.  Really all you need is: paper, ink, self-seal lamination pouches, scissors or a paper cutter, sticky backed Velcro, and something for the board (they used a binder divider).

Here are some tips for making your own:

1) Start small then add on.  Make pictures for their morning and evening routines at first.  Then, when you get the hang of it, add pics for going out, doctor’s office and treats.

2) Keep your pics organized for ease of use.  I simply made some big envelopes out of 12″x 12″ scrapbook paper, and divided them into the following categories: Everyday Life, Treats, Doctor’s Visits, and Going Out.

3) Place in an easy to spot location.  Ours stays on the frig.  I also tape it down so he can’t pull the whole thing off when removing a picture.

4) Jump right in! Bean took to this tool right away.  For on the go, you can download a visual schedule app.  They range from free to about $7.

Additional tip: Have pics for things like, xbox and xbox done.  Or, whatever they love. Tell them, “Okay, you have 1 hour of game time.” Then set a timer, or better, have them set one.  This will help them shift activities.

To further help LB out, I made step by step pictures for going to the bathroom, washing hands, and brushing teeth.  You would think an eight year old could handle these things.  I know we did! However, by giving him this additional tool, we have greatly alleviated some bedtime stress.

For these, I found pics of the steps I wanted him to follow, arranged them on the sheet, printed it out, and laminated it.  I hang these in places I know he’ll see them.  They work wonders.  I watch him as he uses the rest room.  He stares at the pictures and will even point to them to make sure he is following the steps.

When his wandering was really bad, I put stop signs on the doors.  They usually worked unless he was in full meltdown.  Hanging small chimes on your doors is great also! That way you know when someone opens the door.

If you would like, I can email these signs to you.  Just leave your email address in the comments below.

I know that life with a special needs child is hard, just remember that you are not alone.  Reach out to other special needs parents for support.  Send me a message…I am always happy to hear you vent! Oh, and try to ignore the people that think they know what you are going through.  You know the ones, they save silly things to try to help, but you really just want to throat punch them.  They really do mean well.

Like any good southern girl, Deborah loves down home cooking, growing her own food, mason jars, crafting, and being the sweetest wife any guy could ask for. She takes pride in keeping a warm and welcome home for her family, which includes three children, five cats, and a Guinea pig. Deborah blogs at kentuckytocali.com.   Stop by and visit her blog!