The Power of Your “Microphone” S. 3 E. 32

Listen to this episode to learn how you can use the power of your microphone effectively.

Show Notes:

In this episode:

Whether or not you realize it, you have the power of a microphone. You may not even own a microphone, but you have something to say, and people to say it to. You might also give your microphone, virtually or otherwise, to others, which allows them to amplify their own messages. You also use your microphone, for better or for worse, to clarify and amplify the things you say to yourself. Today, we’re talking about the power of your microphone. You don’t want to miss this mic-drop episode.

Introduction

Our topic for today is the power of your microphone. We are coming to you through our microphones, and as podcasters and speakers it is one of our tools. But if you consider a microphone as a tool to amplify, transform or clarify your voice, it is not such a stretch to understand that in many ways, we all have a microphone.

To be completely transparent, we took today’s title from Jamie Kern Lima, the founder of IT cosmetics and the author of the book Believe It: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable.  In chapter 5, which she titled Believe in the Power of Your Microphone, she gives an analogy that we all have a microphone that we control. We get to chose when to use it, what to say with it and when we chose to hand it over to someone else. We get to choose when to turn up the volume, when to turn down the volume, and when to turn the microphone off.

We liked that analogy. We are both getting ready to present sessions at a large conference. We recognize that is a unique opportunity and an honor to be given a microphone at such an event and we don’t take it lightly. We’re working hard to make sure our message is valuable, and worthy and offers meaning and inspiration for the people who are listening.

We understand that we can choose how we use our microphones. We can use our microphones to lift people up, or to tear them down. We decide which messages should be amplified and which should be silenced. We also choose when to turn down the volume when we don’t want someone else speaking into our life.

You also have all of those powers. Today, we are going to talk about the power of your microphone.

Using your microphone for good.

This one is easy to talk about, and we probably all easily understand what it sounds like to use your voice- or your microphone- for good.

Here are some examples:

Perhaps at some point you have attended a rally, or even a protest. You have joined in with other who are expressing their frustrations and the need for positive change. Your voice becomes one of many as together you make your facts and opinions known.

There are other ways to use your voice for good that don’t involve attending protests or speaking out in large public areas.

These may sound familiar to you. A common example is a faculty meeting. You are discussing something and you feel strongly about, but its a topic people are arguing about. The topic is important to you so you speak up.

Another example is that you are at an MTSS or other student support meeting. The conversation has gone down the road of being very negative and the discussion focuses on all the things the student can’t do. Instead, you could direct the conversation to solution seeking rather than complaining. You use your microphone to remind the others that there are many things the student can do.

One of the best uses of your “microphone is how you can help students to understand who they are and the special gifts that they have. This can be a simple one-on-one conversation, where you quietly tell the student, “you are such a creative problem solver. I can always count on you to have some good ideas for how to work things out.”  It may seem like a small thing, but it is a great example of using your voice to lift someone up.

Turning off the volume of your microphone when something doesn’t serve you.

Some people are happy to share your microphone. They want to offer messages and advice. Sometimes it is valuable, but often it is just noise. These are the times when you need to turn down the volume or take your microphone back.

There are a lot of people with very loud microphones on social media. Consider who they are and what they are telling you. When you choose to follow someone, you are letting them talk to you. Follow those who inspire and uplift you. Follow those that make you laugh and that bring joy. Follow people you care about who share values and lifestyles and those that make you feel good about your life.

Take back the microphone from those people who fill your mind with things that aren’t useful to you.

For example, we follow a lot of educators, and there are many wonderful people who share useful, fun, or valuable information. There are others who share a lot of negativity, biased rants and list all the problems of education on a daily basis. They talk about hating their jobs and how they can’t wait to quit at the end of the year. That’s hard for us to listen to, and it is hard to take.

Curate your feeds so that it serves you, rather than making you miserable, or making you feel inadequate.

Another example of allowing someone to use your microphone is when people give advice. 

Have you ever gotten unsolicited advice? Someone who may not have experienced what you are experiencing may freely share what they think you should do.

There is an old adage that says, don’t take advice from someone who hasn’t done what you are trying to do. Advice often comes from a place of caring, but it may not be useful for you.

Author Tara Mohr suggests that much of the advice we receive is not helpful and even harmful. She asked her community about their experiences with advice, and here’s what they said about the times when advice was not helpful, or was even harmful:

• The advice was not asked for.
• The advice didn’t reflect careful listening to the other party.
• The advice seemed to come from fear or projections of the advice-giver.
• The advice was based in assumptions, and/or reflected blind spots related to the privilege of the advice-giver.
• The advice felt like it contained a criticism, judgment or condescension.

Paula and Michele both give personal examples of advice that was well meaning but difficult to hear.

Advice is one of the places where you may need to take back your microphone or turn the volume down.

Steve Jobs said, “Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice”

On the other hand sometimes advice is useful. Here are some of the characteristics that Mohr’s community suggested are helpful:

• Trust—they trusted the person who was giving advice.
• Permission—they asked for advice or the other person asked for their permission before giving advice.
• The person was not pushy about the advice, and was not attached to them following it.
• The advice-giver was able to put the advice in the context of their own experience, and make explicit that the other party’s context/experience/goals may be different—in other words, they didn’t assume lessons from their own life would necessarily apply to the other person.
• The recipient could feel that the advice came from a place of love and caring.
• In some cases, there was also a sense that the advice-giver saw potential, talent or possibility in them that the person did not see in themselves—and the advising was about helping them step into that potential.

These might be examples of time when you can listen and consider the advice with the understanding that if it is not the right advice or it doesn’t suit you for some reason, you are allowed to let it go.

One major way you may use your microphone is turning the microphone on yourself.

For good or bad, one of the most common ways we use our microphone is to talk to ourselves. And many times, what we are hearing isn’t pleasant. This is a toxic voice. According to Jamie Kern Lima, “For many of us, the relationship with our own inner critic is the most toxic relationship we’ll ever be in.”

If you are wondering if you have an inner critic, you might if you have ever said anything like this to yourself:

“Who am I to speak up?”

“No one wants my opinion.”

“I have no confidence.”

“I never get a break.”

“I can’t do anything right.”

“I’m not smart enough to do that.”

“I am not good enough.”

“I’m such a failure.”

“People won’t like me.”

“I hate my body.”

“I’m so disgusting!”

We have a mirror exercise which we have used in workshops. Basically, we have everyone write down on a note card all the terrible, degrading things they tell themselves. Then we have them switch cards with a partner. The partner acts as a mirror, and reads the words on the card back to the person who wrote them. Most of the time, they can’t even read all the negative things they see. People sometimes cry, or refuse to read the negative things aloud. Yet these are the very things we say to ourselves day in and day out. It is a very powerful reminder that what we say to ourselves matters. We say things we would never say to another person, especially not someone we care about. And yet, we are filling our head with it on a regular basis.

It is like there is an inner mean girl who is trying to make sure we don’t get too confident or act to smart or look to good, because if we do, others won’t like us. So we hold ourselves back and play small.

This is really damaging, and a way to use your microphone in a harmful way. It kills our confidence and holds us back from working on our dreams. We need to learn to control that negative voice so that we can become the person that we are meant to be.

Instead, maybe you could use your microphone to tell yourself about all the good things you have accomplished. This is a good follow up to our mirror activity. You could remind yourself of all the challenges you have faced and overcome. Don’t forget to tell yourself about the way you have helped others. And while you’re at it, remind yourself that you are a human being, you are learning, and growing and trying. Nobody gets it right the first time through. You are stronger and more powerful that your inner critic will acknowledge, but that doesn’t make it less true.

The best self-care in the world is accepting yourself, loving yourself and having compassion for the person you once were, while holding onto the hope and promise for the person you are becoming.

Recap:

Your microphone is powerful. You can learn how use it for good, know who to share it with and when to turn the volume on low or shut it off completely. We often talk about living your values and living an inspired life and part of that is learning to use your microphone masterfully.

Quotes:

“Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.” 

Steve Jobs

 “ For many of us, the relationship with our own inner critic is the most toxic relationship we’ll ever be in.” 

Jamie Kern Lima

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Believe It!: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable by Jamie Kern Lima, Gallery Books, 2021.

When is Advice Helpful and When is it Not?  Tara Mohr,  www.taramohr.com

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired Together Teachers Podcast: E. 4How to Grow in Confidence

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.