The Power of Being Yourself S.2 E.28
You are unique and talented and have many gifts to share with the world. Listen to this episode to discover the power of being yourself.
Show notes:
Episode Summary:
What would happen if you were to live your life as the truest version of yourself, the version of yourself that you like best? We are all on a journey of self -awareness, whether you realize it or not. According to Joseph Campbell, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” In this episode we are exploring the power of being yourself.
In this episode:
We’ve been talking about a lot of topics that empower us to grow in positive ways. We’ve had podcasts on the power of building a positive support system, the power of being more confident, of real-self care, creativity and the power of designing your life. Today, we are focusing on the power of being your true self.
Caroline McHugh, a speaker who trains Fortune 500 companies, politicians, world-class athletes, global economists, and artists to embrace their unique selves, says, “When you figure out how to be yourself, it’s an incredibly liberating way to go through life.”
She has recorded one of our favorite TED Talks, The Art of Being Yourself.
McHugh says that most of us sleepwalk through our lives. That usually works until something catastrophic happens to wake us up and force us to take a different path.
Rather than take that path when we are at our lowest points, why not do this work when we are in a stronger, better place? McHugh says, “With each passing year, our job is to be better and better at who we really are.”
How can you apply this philosophy to your own life? The answer is to learn more about yourself and apply that knowledge in service of the person you are when you are happiest and most fulfilled.
Think of Your 8 year old self.
McHugh says that when you are a child, you know how to be yourself.
Think of yourself as an eight-year-old, before society started to change you by telling you who you should be. What were you like? What were your interests? What did you like to do? What skills or talents did you use or start to develop? What made you happy?
What does your eight-year-old self tell you about who you are at your core?
Society will try to tell you who to be.
Unfortunately, the world has a way of telling us who we should be.
It might come from a label you were given as a child, “the smart one”, “the pretty one”, “ the talkative one”, “the quiet one”, “the athletic one” and others. These labels may have placed us in a role that may or may not be true.
There is also societal pressure to be and do like others. This usually starts in middle school and grabs ahold of us when we are vulnerable as we try to figure out who we are.
We learn that revealing our true selves might be risky, that we won’t fit in, and we won’t be accepted. It seems easier to conform and just fit in.
However, pretending who we are not comes at a price. It can affect your self-esteem and confidence and limit your potential.
Understand your gifts and talents.
If you are going to be more of who you are, you need to understand what makes you unique and special. What are your strengths? What are your talents and gifts?
Michele shares that one of the saddest things she has discovered in doing workshops is that many people, especially women, immediately say that they don’t have any gifts or talents. Why is this such a phenomenon?
- We don’t always see our gifts and talents because to us they are as natural as breathing.
- Our families might not have the experience or skills to recognize our talents.
- Schools don’t always foster the innate gifts in children.
- We think our gifts aren’t useful in a job so we ignore them.
- We don’t understand that here are many kinds of gifts and talents.
It is worth sharing that we often think of talents and gifts in a way that is too narrow. There are hundreds of gifts you might have. Here are some examples:
visionary confidence make people laugh loving intellectually curious
storyteller listening fair diplomatic consistent self management dexterity
persuasive social media savvy intuitive achiever
Organized creative trend setting problem solving
motivational reliable adaptable analytical positive
Focused empathetic futuristic connect people
time management imaginative harmonizer joyous
If you took your skills and stretched them- where could they lead you?
For example, no one ever says their gift is time management. Yet being able to manage time effectively is very valuable in the world and is an exceptional gift.
You may have used tools to learn more about yourself such as StrengthsFinders, The Enneagram, True Colors, Myers Briggs, DISC, MMPI, and others. You can learn a lot about yourself from these kinds of tools. Going back to look at the results of such tests can help you see your gifts.
We are both certified Enneagram Trainers, and we appreciate how it helps us to see the gifts and talents in others.
Here are a few more ways to learn about yourself:
- Analyze your jobs, what did you love or dislike about each one?
- Text ten friends and ask them to tell you your best traits and skills. It’s eye opening and validating!
- Follow the joy. What is your fun? What do you love? What you love is often what you are gifted at!
- Look for patterns in your life. What comes up for you over and over?
Your Hero Journey
We use our gifts and talents in service of our lives. We are all on a journey, and it is easier when we are being our most authentic selves.
Let’s consider the hero journey. Many popular books and movies follow what is known as the journey motif. Dr. Joseph Campbell identified it as “the hero saga.” Think of classics like the Harry Potter series, The Wizard of Oz, The Lord of the Rings, the Indiana Jones movies or the Star Wars sagas.
In these stories, our hero is alone, not feeling completely fulfilled perhaps, but life is fine.
We’ve talked about the word fine, and that if you constantly say that things are fine, it is a sign that you are comfortable, but that in order to grow, you might need to take a step outside of your comfort zone.
Let’s go back to our hero’s story, our hero, who is not a hero yet, is called to some adventure. There is a task that must be completed, such as finding the way home through an unfamiliar place, stopping someone from doing an evil deed, or saving the planet. The hero resists, but eventually accepts the call.
Think about what is calling you? What adventure is in your world? What are you being asked to do that is exciting and that fills a need? What would you love to do if only you could figure out a way to do it?
The hero then meets a guide, friend, or mentor who helps them navigate the new and uncertain terrain. Think of Professor Dumbledore, the Good Witch, Gandalf, and Obi Wan Kenobi. Along the way the hero meets many challenges and faces enemies. Sometimes it seems that it would be easier to quit, but our heroes persist. They must face those dragons and overcome them, and if they do, they will find what they seek. The journey is transformational in the best ways.
We’ve talked about the power of a supportive community many times on this podcast. Who is there to support you in your journey? We are happy to be a part of your supportive community as mentors, guides, or friends.
In a graduation address to Spellman College, Howard Thurman said,
“There is something in everyone of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”
We are all unique and magnificent human beings. Unfortunately, we don’t always see it or acknowledge it. Sometimes you catch a glimmer of it. You sense a specialness in yourself. You feel a longing for something, but you are not sure exactly what it is. It is a feeling that something is missing.
This is the call to the journey. If you are brave enough to accept it and willing to deal with the challenges along the way, you will return home transformed.
Today, we challenge you to listen to your own calling, that inner voice that is telling you that there is something more and better, that you can do important things, or that there is something you can give to the world that is still inside of you.
That vision can become reality, and it starts when you understand and embrace the power of being yourself.
Recap:
You have talents and gifts that make you special and unique. When you use your gifts to live as the version of yourself that you like best, you will be open to a journey that offers something challenging yet worthwhile, which can result of life changing positive transformation.
Quote:
“There is something in everyone of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”
Howard Thurman
Resources mentioned in this episode:
The Art of Being Yourself , Caroline McHugh, TEDXMiltonKeynesWoman
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