5 Life Lessons that Stand the Test of Time
S. 2 E.30
Listen to this episode to learn 5 life lessons that have staying power!
Show Notes
Episode Summary:
You’ve probably heard the expression, “Everything old is new again.” Is it true? There are always new ideas, new strategies and new concepts. Sometimes things do cycle back around again. Technology demands that we learn new skills and adopt new practices. When it comes to teaching, and living, there are strategies that manage to survive in some form or other, through different times and places. Today, we’re taking a look at five life lessons that stand the test of time.
In this episode:
Everything old is new again. We’ve both been teaching long enough to see things go out of favor and back in again.
For example, phonics was once a main focus in teaching reading to younger students. Then it was put on the back burner in favor of using multiple forms of reading including using context clues, memorizing sight words that are difficult to sound out and focusing on comprehension. Now the cycle has swung back to emphasizing phonics again.
Other skills and strategies have cycled in and out of favor, for example, cooperative learning and group work, goal setting and even self-regulation.
Report cards once had a section on deportment, or self-regulation skills. These were things like “works independently” or “gets along with others”. Then, the emphasis turned to content area skills, standards and mastery. Now self-regulation skills are back.
Teachers were once taught, “Don’t smile until Christmas.” Now we understand that building relationships is vital, and it is difficult to build relationships with students when you can’t smile. We hope the pendulum never swings back to “Don’t smile until Christmas.”
We thought it would be useful to look at strategies and skills that stand the test of time. These are lessons in life and learning with staying power.
We begin with a few cautionary words.
We understand that some of these ideas may seem controversial to some people and may seem obviously true to others. You may wholehearted agree with us or you might not agree with us, both are okay. We are sharing things we see as valuable, whether or not they are currently in favor.
We based our lessons learned on what we believe to be best practice in education and life. We both have advanced degrees and we believe in reading and analyzing research. We’ve read a LOT of research. We’ve read enough research to know that there are always studies that contradict each other. Statistics are often taken out of context and can be manipulated. What you are getting in this episode are our beliefs after reading the research through the filter of our work and lived experiences.
Lastly, we are both experienced teachers who have taught different ages, grades, and content levels. We’ve also visited hundreds of schools and worked with thousands of teachers. Between us, we’ve been in classrooms in four different continents- Europe, Africa, North America and South America! We’ve worked with the spectrum of students from early childhood to graduate students. We see the big picture in education, and these are lessons that resonate with us and our experience. These are old ideas that still work. They stand true always in both your work and home life. They are lessons to live by, safe bets and mottos to hold true to.
What are some lessons that stand the test of time?
Life lesson 1: Significant learning does not take place without significant relationships.
You have all heard the phrase, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”
This phrase has been around at least since our grandparents’ era. It means that being sweet will get you further than being sour or bitter. In its essence, it is all about building relationships. What does that look like in real life?
It might mean that being kind and pleasant and helpful to students will garner you more respect from them- which results in more cooperation. It might also mean that kindness goes a long way.
For example, yelling at a struggling student is not likely to be helpful. Being patient, explaining things in a different way or encouraging their efforts is a positive way to be supportive.
We all know that, yet we’ve all seen students treated with disrespect.
Paula: When I worked in a school for students with severe behavior challenges, I would often find that once students established the relationship with me, they were much more likely to learn from me. For students who had struggled with positive relationships, possibly for their whole lives, this often meant building relationships in ways I had not before, like playing basketball with the students as I supervised recess. I was no good at basketball. That didn’t matter. It was what was needed on certain days with certain students.
How else might building relationships work in our lives?
Happiness research tells us that we are healthier and live longer when we have significant relationships. We addressed this is episode 5 and 20, we’ll link to those below.
You might be pleasant to the waiter, and ask for something in a nice way. Maybe you treat the grocery clerk who is overwhelmed with a long line with kindness. These things are easy to do and mean a lot.
Think about the last five times you greeted someone, maybe a student, coworker, spouse, or a stranger. When you greeted them, were you rushed? Did you stop to smile and say hello?
You never know what someone is struggling with and your smile and hello could be the bright spot of their day.
That is a great transition for life lesson number 2.
Life lesson 2: All people have strengths and challenges.
Michele: We keep hearing that students today are different. I would agree that times today are different, the political climate is different, and maybe even parental support is different. Rules and expectations are also different. But students? Maybe not.
My grandmother talked about the challenges she faced in the past. During the depression, most children came to school with no lunch. They didn’t have enough food. My grandmother felt fortunate because she had two pieces of bread covered with lard. Now that sounds disgusting to us today, but for children with no access to food, lard sandwiches sound pretty good.
Years ago, I taught students who were homeless and one family of students who lived in their car. I saw a lot of students with trauma. I vividly remember a seventh grade boy who was the main caretaker of his young brother and sister. He cooked for them, did homework with them, bathed them and put them to bed every night. He also used his Mom’s checkbook to pay the bills and buy groceries. I worked with a 12 year old who was the victim of incest. I took away knives and even guns from middle school students. I brought food for first graders who showed up without snacks or lunch. I’ve filled out mandatory reports on multiple instances of abuse and neglect. I taught kids with alcoholic and drug addicted parents.
I appreciate the emphasis on students with trauma today. I am glad that we are recognizing it and addressing it. It is long overdue. Students have always had challenges and will continue to have challenges.
The idea that people have strengths and challenges applies to everyone. We can recognize those strengths and challenges and support people in the ways they need.
Where can you see someone’s gifts and challenges and support them?
Michele: I’ve made it a goal to buy art for my house from struggling artists or students. It’s fun to find little gems and I know that no one else will have those things in their home.
I’ve also taught a friend with severe anxiety both breathing exercises and tapping on pressure points as a way to help her focus and get back in control. I will even do it with her on the phone. I’m not a medical expert, but this is something I have used personally and I know it can benefit her as well.
Paula: I was having a conversation today with two soon-to-be teachers. We were talking about the ways that schools are set up and the ways things happen. It is very fitting to our conversation today. We need to challenge ourselves to not look through the traditional lens of what traditional schools tells us are students’ strengths and weaknesses. For example, that strong willed first grader is going to be an amazing leader someday and may impress us all as she sits at the head of the boardroom table, yet those same skills can be seen as a detriment in traditional schooling.
We challenge you to look at kids a little differently. Throughout the history of schooling, kids have always had challenges and always will. The same is true of our families and friends. We all benefit when someone recognizes and responds with caring and understanding to our individual strengths and challenges.
Life lesson 3: Good things don’t come easily.
We live in an era of instant gratification. We can order something from Amazon and have it delivered within a day. If we need information, we can look it up on our phones and have it in seconds. It might be jading us, sifting our expectation of how long things take.
This is another one of those ideas our grandparents talked about. In this country, we pride ourselves on hard work, a good day’s labor and solid work ethic.
How might this show up in school?
We can teach students processes. For example- writing. Good writing doesn’t always flow right out of the pen or computer. There are often steps such as coming up with an idea, jotting down notes, writing drafts etc. It is often done over time.
Sports teams understand this concept. Coaches teach drills and players do the drills repeatedly, getting better and better at it.
The same is true of music or art. It takes practice to get better.
When it comes to academics, we can teach students that learning takes time, and it doesn’t always come easily. They gradually grow in knowledge and skill. We can emphasize having a growth mindset, and model it in ourselves.
We can also teach students to make goals and even to plan for the future that they want.
The way this is showing up today is with Carol Dweck and her Growth Mindset idea, or Angela Duckworth and her grit concept. It also connects to resiliency, which we discussed on episode 27. There is also a movement in schools today to teach goal setting as a form of self-regulation.
It is always a great reminder, that good things often take time and work. We can’t expect things to happen in a social media second.
Another life lesson is that change is inevitable.
Life lesson 4: Change is inevitable.
We have always experienced change and we will always experience change in the future.
Have you ever noticed that people who struggle to accept change are often miserable?
Sometimes we can manipulate change, and sometimes we can slow it down. We can rarely stop it completely.
In a previous episode we talked about the changes with computers in schools, and phones in schools. Now it is AI.
Think about the use of video. Once it was reel- to -reel films or filmstrips in schools. Then it became educational television. Now we can access all kinds of video from our computers.
Another example of change is libraries. It’s amazing the way libraries have changed. Libraries were once the place that held books, and later books and videos. Now, libraries are not just about books. You can check out boxes of Legos, specialty cooking pans, or even gardening materials.
Libraries have also become community centers, places where you can work together in groups, hold a meeting or even conduct job interviews. Libraries are sponsors of life-long education offering art and music classes for Moms and tots, genealogy research groups, and even tax preparation or cooking classes.
You can still go to libraries to access information, but librarians do so much more than stand behind a desk and check out books. They have become adept at helping people find information online as well as teaching technology skills.
Michele: In my local library you can even access a podcasting studio or use a 3D printer.
While some people say that libraries are outdated and we no longer need them, the visionaries are viewing libraries as a way to bring communities together and support community interests and needs. It is a different way of thinking about what libraries are and what they could be.
Change can be difficult. It can alter how we think and what we do.
How can we deal with change successfully?
- Learn about whatever is changing. When you understand something, it is less frightening.
- Take baby steps in trying and apply something.
- Ask for help and guidance.
- Find a mentor or teacher who is ahead of you in the change process.
- Look for the silver linings-like in the example we just gave you about libraries, and what has happened because people embraced change.
Michele: A mentor of mine, Dan Miller, a radio podcaster, coach, and author of 48 Days to the Work You Love always says of change, “What does this make possible?” When you look at change that way, it is automatically more positive.
This leads us to our last life lesson.
Life lesson 5: How we spend our time is how we spend our days, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
This seems like a big life lesson, and it encompasses a lot.
Think about your days as being full of time. We break our days down into minutes and hours, or class periods. How do you spend that time? You have all had the experience of having days go by, almost as if on auto pilot. Every day was full of minutes and hours rushing by. Before you know it weeks have flown by, and then years. The baby that was born seemingly yesterday is now starting school. Before you know it you are middle aged and sending your kids off to college.
You’ve probably said things like,
“Time flies”… or “It seems like yesterday”…or, “Where has time gone?”
What does this tell you?
For this life lesson, we want you to think about habits. Think of habits, because so much of our time is spent with things that are our habits. We spend our minutes with habits. It tells us to look carefully at our habits and build habits that are useful. We can also help children to build good habits when they are young, and also as they grow older. They need habits that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.
For example, let’s say that you haven’t set aside time and made a habit of packing a healthy lunch. So instead, in the morning you throw five or six cookies into a baggie and that becomes your lunch. A couple of hours later, when you are in an important meeting, you have a sugar high crash. You’re not the best you could have been at that meeting, you likely let down your colleagues, and you could barely stay awake. Then when you get home, you are probably feeling bad about the meeting and you don’t have the energy to make a healthy supper. So you resort to something easy, not healthy. It continues day in and day out. Just that one little habit of not packing a healthy lunch impacts your day, your week, and maybe even your year and that of those around you.
When we think about how our days and weeks become our years, it tells us to pay attention to things that matter. Are you enjoying your days? Are you getting to do things you love to do? If you are unhappy most of the time, or spend your days doing things you hate, then what does that say about your life? What does it say when you keep repeating things you don’t care about?
Are you spending time with people you care about? If how we spend our days is how we spend our lives, who do you want to be spending your days with and are you spending your days with them? This goes right back to relationships and the power of having good relationships.
Ultimately how you spend your days matters. You can’t control every minute of your days, but there is a lot you can control. What you do matters, because it is going to make up your life.
If you want to have an inspiring life, you are going to need to make some inspiring choices.
We hope these five lessons hold true for you as they do for us.
Recap:
Today we discussed five life lessons that have worked across the years both at work at school and at home. #1: Significant learning does not take place without significant relationships. #2 All people have strengths and challenges. #3 reminds us that good things don’t come easily. #4 is that change is inevitable. And lastly, how we spend our time is how we spend our days, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. These are all lessons that stand the test of time.
Quote:
“ What does this make possible?”
Dan Miller
Resources mentioned in this episode:
48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller
Related Episodes/Blog Posts:
Inspired Together Teachers podcast episode 5 The Power of Community
Inspired Together Teachers Podcast Episode 20 Build Your Star System of Support
Inspired Together Teachers podcast episode 27 What Every Teacher Needs to Know About Resilience
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Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?
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Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.
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