As a new teacher, you may or may not have a history of working with children who struggle to pay attention. The label  Attention Deficit Disorder, or ADD has been attached to children with alarming frequency and the lines of children waiting to get Ritalin from the school nurse are legendary. Though the label is applied with more discretion recently,  many children, with or without the label, exhibit challenges with attention and are often unable to focus on their school work.

I have worked with many children who struggle with focusing.  I have a toolbox of strategies to help them deal with the often frustrating inability to sustain focus. As with many teachers, I understand that lack of attention is due to some unseeable workings of the brain, not a lack of willingness on the part of the child.

I thought I understood attention and focusing issues. I didn’t, not really. Now, I understand the issue from the other side, from the perspective of one who has suffered from attention issues.

Recently I underwent a major medical procedure. The resulting hospital stay and lengthy recovery meant that I was taking a large number of pills- including four different types of pain pills as well as a nerve blocker. I also took several medications which induce drowsiness if not outright sleep.

I had a lot of plans for my recovery. I got a stack of books and looked forward to being able to catch up on all my reading. My friend, who spent several months with similar pain meds warned me that I wouldn’t be able to read. He was right.

I tried. The worlds swirled around the page. I tried later and was able to read a few sentences, though my comprehension was foggy. I thought I would try again, maybe when the morphine wore off.  I could see the words better, but I was not able to concentrate. Reading made me tired.

It occurred to me that some children go through this process regularly.

I have good coping skills, and within one day I was frustrated.  I can imagine what they must go through.

Watching television was no better. I tried watching a movie, but it was a jumbled mess of indistinguishable characters and a plot that I couldn’t follow. I gave up on a basketball game. I saw a foul and heard a whistle, but by the time they gave us the penalty I couldn’t remember what the foul had been.

I was able to watch an old  marathon of Project Runway. One episode bled into the next, I slept through parts and it didn’t matter.  Contestants were making clothes, that was all I needed to know to make sense of the show.  The same thing happened with a holiday baking show. The contestants were making gingerbread houses. When I woke up they were making pies and there were fewer contestants.

 I wondered if the rise of reality television was built on the general population’s inability to sustain focus.

I kept thinking about children. I  had attention focusing issues for a few weeks. I was not able to function to my usual standards or to use my regular coping strategies.

How do we expect a distracted six year old to function well?  If I am frustrated after a week, how do children not become overwhelmed with frustration after dealing with this for years?  The sad truth is that some children do become overwhelmed and refuse to try or lash out with poor behaviors.

When it comes to attention issues, I understand that in the past, I have been too focused on the cause. It makes sense, that if we can figure out what is causing the inability to pay attention we can fix it. Except for that often, we can’t fix it. The cause doesn’t really matter. We should not focus on the cause of a child’s attention issues, we should focus on helping them to cope.

I have also been too concerned with trying harder- trying harder isn’t helping me. Telling myself to concentrate doesn’t help either. I can’t will it.

Telling children to try harder, or giving them a prize or a smiley sticker isn’t going to help. Nor is a punishment for not being able to concentrate going to work.

What we need to do is to find out where, how and when children can learn best, and then let them use that knowledge. For example, I have found that I can follow a conversation better than a book or a TV show. Oral learning might work for me now, though reading has always been my learning mode of choice in the past. Reading is not the only way to gain information. We say we adapt to the child’s needs, but do we really give children a choice in how they learn?

I remember a few years ago, when a student in my class failed an exam. He had been in class every day, listening and participating regularly.  He had turned in all of his homework. I was shocked by his low exam score. I asked him what had happend. He told me that his hands just couldn’t write the words in his head, the words got lost between the thinking and the writing.

I asked him the questions and he told me the answers. The right answers,  every single time. He went from an “F” to an” A”.  I wonder what school must be  like for him, how much he had struggled and how much harder he would have to work than his peers who do not have attention issues.

I have also discovered that I need to function when and where my brain is working. I wrote most of this at 2 AM. The meds were wearing off, but I was not too uncomfortable. I was also hyper alert. I nodded off before I could finish or do a spell check. This morning, I noticed that I had an error on almost every word. Do we always allow children to use spell check?  Do they get to finish later?  I think about standardized tests and I cringe. The child has no control over time and place.

The inability to focus is also uncomfortable because you can’t see it. People who talk to me on the phone say how good I sound. I am up, in a chair, dressed and looking competent. If you were to look at me, you can’t physically see that something is wrong with my ability to think.  Everyone understands  the physical need to use a walker or crutches.  You can see the bandage on my leg. It is far less easy to see that I need some mental crutches as well. It has become painfully clear to me that just because you can’t see it, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.  I think about children with “invisible” challenges, and my heart goes out to them.

I expected the physical challenges associated with my surgery. I was not prepared for the mental challenges.

I am in awe and humbled by the experiences I have had. I have gained empathy and an admiration for people who deal with attention issues on a daily basis. I have hope of recovering, and I know some people will live with attention issues their entire lives.

I wonder what well intentioned but ill conceived advice I have given children in the past. I am sorry. I can only hope that I will move forward with a keener awareness and a heightened sensitivity.

My best,

Michele