The Courage to Be Bold Ep. 25

August 16, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

The Courage to Be Bold S. 2 E.25

Listen to this episode to learn why being bold is good and 4 steps you can take to have the courage to be bold.

Show Notes

Episode summary:

When you hear the word “bold” what do you think of? Does boldness have a negative or positive connotation for you? Boldness can actually be one of your best attributes if used well. Today, we’re examining what it means to be bold, talking about why being bold is actually a good thing, and discussing 4 steps you can take to build your boldness muscle.

In this episode:

When you hear the word “bold” what emotions does it stir up for you? What images come to your mind?

Most people think of boldness as the friend with the pink colored hair, the co-worker who is quick to speak their mind in a meeting, or the family member who asks personal questions.

But have you ever considered that boldness is so much more?

And what does boldness have to do with helping you find fulfillment in your work and home life?

A lot actually so stick around.

What is boldness.

Yes, “bold” is a four letter word. But is doesn’t have to have the negative connotation of those other 4 letter words. 😊

The adjectives used to describe someone who is bold are actually extremely desirable traits. Let’s examine a few of the traits associated with people who take bold action or are described as bold:

People who are bold often:

Display energy and excitement
Prioritize, are seen as strong, vivid, and ready for action
Have confidence and courage
Believe in reaching the next level
Have the ability to make strong connections
Look forward with clarity
Take risks
And have a belief in themselves

Finally, people who are bold are often perceived to be joyful and fulfilled.

With a description like that, doesn’t boldness seem like something we should all be striving for in our work and home lives?

It is true that some definitions of the word “bold” include doing something that might be considered audacious but almost all definitions of “bold” include language about taking a risk with confidence and courage. That is something to strive for.

Notice that the definition does not say you have to be bold with EVERY decision you make in a day. However, what would it look like for you to pick things in you work and home life that really matter to you and then take the risk with confidence and courage?

Quote:

“Sometimes the leap in real life is a simple change we’ve waited a long time to make.”

and

“You’ve been waiting. Be bold and go.”

Brendan Burchard.

Think about a time when you acted with boldness at home or at work. How did it feel?

Fred Joyal, author of Superbold, stated, “In essence, boldness is simply moving from inaction to action. But that is a big move. Most people choose inaction. Most people stay in their comfort zone 24/7. It’s a whole lot easier. But if you’re dissatisfied with life so far, and want to discover what’s really possible, you’re going to have to make that crucial, simple move from inaction to action.”

4 Simple Steps You Can Take to Build Boldness in Your Life.

After hearing the characteristics of people who are bold, we are guessing you identified with some of them. You are already bold in some way. We want to help you to build upon your boldness.

However, before we start the 4 steps, it is important to set the stage. As you move toward becoming more bold in your personal and professional life, we offer these important reminders:

Stay true to you, your “bold moves” are not the same as what others might see as bold.
Have faith in yourself, you are more capable than you give yourself credit for.
Have courage. It will not always be easy, but important things are rarely easy.
Stay positive.
Look for opportunities that align with your values, and then jump in.

Most importantly, understand who you are, what is most important to you and what you want. If it aligns with you what is important to you, then it is where you should venture into your boldness.

Building Your Boldness

Step 1: Start with Your Values

Ask yourself, “What matters to me?”. Examine your answer. Those are the areas where you should be bold.

If you believe in something enough, you will have the courage to work toward it. If you don’t believe in it, your motivation and boldness will quickly fade.

If someone else is pushing their values on you, it is ok to say “no thanks” and focus your energy on what matters to you.

Why? Because it is easier to be bold with something you care deeply about.

Step 2: Look for Opportunities and Discern

Consider opportunities to be bold. Consider both those that exist and those that do not yet exist. Listen to that voice that has been saying to you, “I really wish…” or “If I could, I would….” Those things might be sending you towards an opportunity to be bold.

Sit in silence and solitude to really contemplate if this is where you want to be bold.

Ask yourself, “How does being bold with this opportunity feel in my head, heart and gut?”

In Episode 17, we talked about IQ, EQ and GQ. Make a plan for what boldness will look like in this opportunity. Visualize, write it down, make a mind map. Do whatever works best for you to create a clear understanding of what boldness would look, feel and sound like for you in this situation.

Step 3: Prepare Yourself for Courageous Conversations

Author and activist, Glennon Doyle, says, “I see your fear and it is big. I also see your courage and it is bigger. We can do hard things.”

Your boldness may spark resistance in others. This is especially true if they expect you not to be bold. Expect resistance so you are not caught off guard when it happens. Consider who you expect to resist, in what way, when and how. That way you can start to prepare yourself.

Have the difficult conversations. Expect uncomfortableness and stay true to your values.

Use “I statements” since you are explaining why something matters to you.

Not everyone will agree with you. That’s ok. You may still learn from their viewpoint. For example, even if you don’t agree with their stance there is a chance that others may have the same objection. By listening to their objection, you can note it and address it in your opening argument to the next person so you can acknowledge it right away and then move past it.

Another idea is to carefully decide who you share things with and what you share. Don’t share your dream project with the naysayers, or as we like to call them, the Dream Slayers.

Step 4 Proactively Create a Plan to Maintain Boldness

You don’t want your boldness to be a passing phase and you don’t want to lose momentum.

Momentum will matter to you and to others.

What supports will you build in to keep you bold, courageous and confident? Will they be people? Notes you leave yourself? If you are not naturally courageous and confident, how can you make sure that you celebrate your wins and build a plan for continued success? How will you celebrate your successes and who can you go to in difficult times so you don’t give up?
What physical reminders will you create to remind you that you are being bold in alignment with your values? An examples could include a vision board.

Here is our example of boldness.

When we started this podcast we knew we were going to needed to be bold and take a risk, putting ourselves out there to do something we had never done before. We also knew were going to need momentum to keep it going. Why? Here are a few interesting podcast statistics:

At the time of this recording:

4 million podcasts have been started
Of those 4 million only 20% make it past 10 episodes
Of those 20% that make it past 10 episodes, only 20% post of them post on a weekly basis

This is episode 25, and we have posted a new episode every Wednesday since we started this podcast! It is not because we are better than the millions of other podcasters who haven’t had 25 consecutive weekly episodes, it’s because we were intentional about keeping our momentum.

How? First, we have each other. Second, we record our stats. Paula looks at them regularly and updates them in our spreadsheet so we can visually track our progress and see the impact we are making. Every time we hit a milestone we celebrate together. When we made the list of top Education podcasts in Barbados? Yep, we celebrated. List of top podcasts in India, yep, more celebrating!

Every month, we watch the numbers as we move up in the rankings of Educational podcasts in the US and globally. Talk about motivation! You give that to us every time you listen to a podcast! We continue to be bold because you are our motivation.

Being bold matters. When you are living boldly:

You are living closer to your values.
You will have more personal fulfillment and happiness.
Others will benefit from your commitment.
You can make the world a better place.

Grow, Advance and Elevate Yourself

Is building your boldness easy? No, not always. Is being bold in things that matter to you important? Absolutely.

Fred Joyal, who we referenced earlier in this podcast, once wrote, “As I present people with the possibility of becoming bolder, one of the classic defense mechanisms they default to is saying, ‘This just isn’t me.’ From wherever you are on the boldness scale, you can choose to grow, advance, and elevate yourself to untold heights of boldness until you are superbold, summoning it whenever you choose. You’ll still be that essential you. Just a more wonderful version.”

Recap

You can be bold. Once you know what is important to you, speaking up or taking bold action can be not only rewarding, but life fulfilling.

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired Together Teachers podcast episode 17, Get Out of Your Head

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Are You Making an Impact? Ep.14

May 31, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 2 Comments

Making an Impact S. 1 E. 14

Do you ever wonder if you are making an impact on your students? How do you know? In this episode we are talking about signs and signals you can be watching for to assure yourself that what you do is making an impact.

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you ever wonder if you are making a positive impact? You’ve been working really hard, yet it is human nature to question yourself. Does what I do matter? Do students even notice or care how much I am working for them? Does my family feel loved and cared for? Are my relationships with friends meaningful? In this episode we are talking about how to know if you are making an impact.

In this episode:

One of things we are all want to know is that our life and work have purpose and that we making a positive impact. Today, we’re going to explore what that might look like.

We all want to make an impact. It gives our life value and purpose. It brings us fulfillment- and we’re talking top of Maslow’s higher needs and self-actualization here.

When we know we are making an impact, we have the stamina to get through the tough times. We all have challenges, but sometimes, if we know that the result is going to make a positive impact, we can accept the challenges.

We know that questioning our impact can be an issue for teachers. We hear it at our workshops. Teachers question whether they are really making an impact. Teaching is unique because we can work on a project “a student” for 180 days and the results of our labor may not be recognized until months, years or even decades later….and we may never see that impact we made. However, there are signs and signals you can be watching for to assure yourself that you are making an impact. Let’s explore some now…….

‌How to Know If You Are Making an Impact With Your Students

Do you call students by name?

We all want to feel seen.
One of the simplest ways to make people feel noticed is to use their name. We all like to hear our names. How do you greet students in the morning? Do you great them by name? How do you respond to students when they raise their hands? Are you calling students by name when they are engaging in positive ways or only when they are exhibiting negative behaviors?
If you are routinely connecting with students by using their names when you interact with them for a variety of reasons, you are already positively impacting them. They are feeling seen and heard.
Example: when teachers stand in the door ways and great students by name when they enter the classroom

Dale Carnegie said about names: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Do you give positive feedback?

You are reading student work. You are having discussions with students both in a large group and in smaller groups or individually. You are answering student questions. These are all opportunities to give positive feedback. Even an incorrect answer can result in positive feedback.
Here’s an example, “That is not the correct answer, but I can see that you have some good thinking going on.” You have just provided positive feedback.
If you are giving students positive feedback on work, behaviors, attitudes, thought processes, or social interactions, you are making a positive impact.

Do you help students to grow?

We all have a need for growth.
Teachers are in a position to help students grow not only academically, but socially and emotionally as well.
Do you meet students where they are academically and help them get to the next level?
Do you guide students in appropriate social behaviors?
Do you encourage students to have a growth mindset?
Are you challenging students or encouraging them to try new things?
If so, you are making a positive impact.

This is where students relationships enter the picture. When you have built relationships with students you can give them feedback that is personal. Or socially, you can remind a student this is not your best self- you can rise above this.

Paula’s example: When working with kids with cognitive or behavioral disabilities, sometimes it took a lot of repetition. We practiced, repeatedly, skills and behaviors until the students were able to learn them and then we would move on to the next goal. They often knew they weren’t at the same level as their peers. They didn’t need me to tell them. They felt it. However, what I could do for them was guide them as they got closer and closer and to be their biggest cheerleader along the way. Their steps were small but each step felt like a huge leap.

Do you teach the whole student?

You were hired to teach academic content.
You have all experienced teachers in your life who taught you something other than academic content.
They recognized something in you and helped you to see it in yourself.
They gave you advice about life, not just about homework.
They opened your eyes to something you are passionate about but might never have discovered by yourself.

These teachers were teaching the whole person, not just the student. If your interactions with students sometimes move out of the academic realm and into student’s lives, you are making a positive impact.

Do you still care?

This question is focused on you and your behaviors.
We all know people who have called it in. They do the minimum to get by. They stop any extra interactions. They don’t go out of their way to do anything extra for a student or colleague. They have a negative attitude. A student failed? Not my problem. A parent called? Why should I bother to call them back? Faculty meeting? I’m not going to show up.
You don’t have to work yourself into the ground, and you don’t have to be on call 24/7.
Good teachers still care. If there is a way to help a student, they will show up for that student.

Do you still care about your students? If so, you are making a positive impact.

You make more of an impact than you may realize.

In our experience, teachers make far more of an impact than they realize. Your student may be walking away with an important life lesson. A seemingly ungrateful parent may recognize the ways you have helped their child, though they may never tell you. It is a truth in life that you may never know who or how you may have made a positive impact.

You may not know the impact you have on a student. Some will never get the chance to tell you. Some will show up years later and surprise you.

Save the evidence: Positive Notes for Days I Really Need Them

Save those notes and cards and letters, and little gifts you get. There will always be there to remind you that you make a difference.

Michele’s room is filled with little reminders from students. I’m sure people come into my room and think I have a lot of worthless clutter. In reality, it is the cat a student made for me in wood shop, the butterfly pin with my name misspelled that a student bought me with his own money, the cup that holds my colored pencils that a student gave me 20 years ago. I don’t see it as junk. I see it as impact.

We recently worked with a high school teacher that had a student mementos wall in his classroom. He hung class pictures, newspaper articles about the sports wins, student artwork, graduation party invitations…anything students gave him. He said, “that wall reminds me why I do this.”

We all need those reminders.

‌How do you know you are making a difference with your family and friends?

People come to you to seek your advice or as a shoulder to cry on- they trust you. You don’t judge and love unconditionally.
You are a good listener. You are present.
You show up, emotionally even if others don’t always show up for you. Especially true of family members who don’t have the same level of maturity or goals that you do.
You show up physically.
You go to the funerals. There is a great episode of NPR’s podcast This I Believe where a woman shares how a teacher showed up for her Mom’s funeral, when she was an adult, and that it mattered.

‌Recap: There may be times when you question if you are making an impact. While it is human nature to question ourselves, you are making more of an impact than you know. You are making an impact in the classroom through your words and actions. The same applies to your home life. Though you may never be fully aware of the impact you are making, continue to care, to teach, and to positively impact those around you. You are more powerful than you know.

‌Quotes:

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Dale Carnegie

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do make a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

Jane Goodall

Resources mentioned in this episode:

NPR Radio Program/Podcast This I Believe: Always Go to the Funeral

Related episodes and posts:

5 Ways to Know if You are Making an Impact – Inspired Together Teachers

Positive Notes for Days You Really Need Them

Connect with Inspired Together Teachers:

Download our FREE resource, The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/company/inspired-together-learning/

Our book: The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Help Students Become Independent Learners

December 1, 2022 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Do you ever worry that students are too dependent, that they are not willing to take a risk or try something new or that they don’t seem to have good problem- solving skills? How can you help students become independent learners who are capable and confident?

Children learn resilience, problem solving and other independent learning skills by experimenting in childhood. Free play, running, climbing high things, rough and tumble experiences and tip-toeing around dangerous things such as playing in rivers or streams and building tree houses with hammers and nails teach children to try new things and to take risks.

In the not so recent past, it was common for children to spend summer days and after school time outside, riding bikes around the neighborhood or playing games with friends. These were largely unsupervised activities, which taught children to try things, negotiate with others, solve their own problems and to learn to be independent.

Today, we protect children from unknown and potentially dangerous experiences. We supervise play and activities more closely. Play dates with activities orchestrated by parents have largely replaced the open activities where children once roamed more freely, where they had more chances to experiment and problem solve on their own.

How can we counteract the unintended result of our safety measures? Of course, we do not want children to be unsafe, but we do want them to learn independence. How can we can teach children to be more independent?

Encourage curiosity.

Children are naturally curious. Encourage them to ask questions and explore new ideas. Include elements of choice in the curriculum that allow children to choose topics they are interested. Give them time and structures that allow for independent learning. This might include encouraging free choice reading, giving options when writing reports and building in time for “Genius Blocks” or “Power Hour.” Many children are not used to making choices, so you may need to teach them how to make good choices. The reward is engaged learners who are learning to engage deeply in topics and work that is meaningful to them.

Teach planning and working strategies.

Some students don’t apply independent learning strategies because they do not have good strategies. Teach study skills. Help students learn to plan, monitor their work, use calendars or agendas and effectively plan their time. These are all life skills that independent workers use. Students love to feel grown -up or adult like, remind them that these skills will help them be successful as adults. In their future jobs, they may not have a boss who tells them what to do every minute of the day. They need to be able to take tasks, break them down, determine a to-do list and plan time to do the work. It is never to soon to start teaching students independent work skills.

Deemphasize Tests

In this era of extreme testing and evidence- based learning, it may seem counter-intuitive to decrease the emphasis on tests. However, tests encourage one way of thinking and one right answer. The emphasis often becomes getting the right answer on the test rather than on the actual learning. Rather than putting the focus on doing something so they can pass the test, put the focus on how they can use the information and how knowing it will help them in the future. Helping students to apply the knowledge on the test will actually increase their learning and help them make connections to the wider world, both of which are good independent learning skills.

Reward struggles.

We hear a lot about developing growth mindset. Students need to believe their knowledge and learning capacity are not fixed, and that they have the ability to always be growing and developing. Part of growing is often the struggle. Rather than being a negative thing, the struggles often show us where we have potential to grow.

Encourage students when they are struggling. Remind them that new things are often hard and take work. Share stories of people, including yourself or people that they know, who have overcome challenges. Remind them that struggles pay off with comments such as, “Last week this was really difficult for you, but you worked through it and now you understand it.” This helps build pride of learning by pushing through new and unfamiliar things.

Allow failure.

This one also sounds counterintuitive. Just the mention of the word failure is enough to make some students and their parents break out in hives.

The school office is full of parents who drop by to deliver a child’s forgotten homework so their child will not be given a failing grade. Who is taking ownership of the potential failure? This is also true of the parents who does a child’s homework or builds a bridge for a student’s science fair. The message is that failure is unacceptable. I will do the work for you so you don’t fail. This teaches students to be dependent rather than independent. We need to remind students and parents that learning is the student’s job. Send parent newsletters with guidelines of acceptable ways to help.

Here is another example. What is gained when a teacher proudly announces that 80% of her class got a passing grade on the pre-test? If students are going to learn, shouldn’t they fail the pretest? If they already know the material, they need different instruction. Passing the pre-test should not be a point of pride. It means the learning needs to be more challenging.

We often see failure as an end result. How could you reframe failure as an opportunity to grow? When a student fails at something it is a chance to redirect their thinking. Why did you fail? What do you need to know or what do you need to differently next time? How could you change your behaviors or plan of action to improve your results? Don’t treat failing as a moral failure. Treat is as a growth lesson.

Consider allowing students to re-do work so that they actually learn it. If many students fail, use it as an opportunity to rethink your instruction.

Deemphasize grades.

Many students are overly focused on grades. The attitude is often, “Just tell me what I need to know to get an A.” In reality, good learning is as much about the process of learning as the outcome. Focus on the process. Encourage the small steps towards a larger goal. Teach students to evaluate their progress. Simple exit slips can ask students questions such as, “What is one new thing you learned today?” or “What are two things you will need to do tomorrow to improve your presentation?”

Celebrate growth rather than perfect scores. Encourage a community of learners who learn and grow together, rather than posting star charts with a “race- to- the -top” mentality. Stop focusing on number or letter grades and focus more on formative assessment. This doesn’t mean that you don’t hold high standards, it means that you hold high standards for learning, not just grades. Lastly, don’t hold out grades as a form of motivation or as a form of reward or punishment. Keep in mind that the goal is learning.

What could you do this week to help students become independent learners?

Our best,

Emotional Support for Students in Middle Grades -High School

November 10, 2022 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Now, more than ever, teachers have recognized the need for emotional support for students. Since the pandemic, social and emotional needs of students have moved to the forefront of education.

Tier one of a comprehensive school mental health system includes the promotion of positive social, emotional, and behavioral skills and overall wellness for students. (Mid-America Mental Health Technology Transfer Center Network) This includes emotional support for students.

Why Understanding Emotions is Important

We recognize that helping students to understand and describe their emotions is a crucial part of developing emotional wellness. Our emotions affect almost all parts of us. They are connected to our families, culture and experiences. The effects of our emotions show up in our biological systems. Our emotions are also expressed in our behaviors and our behavioral patterns.

No matter what age or subject matter we teach, every teacher knows that emotions can cause conflicts for students. Whether they are emotions that harm an individual’s sense of self, or emotions that cause conflict between individuals, teachers find themselves regularly dealing with students’ emotions. Add to that raging teenage hormones and a still developing prefrontal cortex of the brain and you have a recipe for an explosion of emotions.

Brené Brown on Managing Our Emotions

According to Sociology researcher Brené Brown in her book Atlas of the Heart, those who are able to understand and distinguish between a range of various emotions are better able to manage the everyday ups and downs than those who see everything in black and white.

Brown and her colleagues have identified 87 different human emotions. In a massive study where participants were asked to list all of their emotions, Brown found that the average person listed just three: happy, sad and angry. The premise of her book is that we need to be able to better name and understand our emotions.

“Without understanding how our feelings, thoughts and behaviors work together, it is almost impossible to find our way back to ourselves and each other. When we don’t understand how our emotions shape our thoughts and decisions, we become disembodied from our own experiences and disconnected from each other (p.xx). ”

The Language We use Around Emotions Matters

The language we use around the emotions we have plays a crucial role in our experience of our emotions.

For example, a student who studies for a test and then fails that test might have a variety of emotions about the experience. The student might be angry, disappointed or frustrated. The student might feel resentful of those who studied less and passed. On a personal level, the student might feel shame, embarrassment or discouragement.

Any of those words, and others could be used to express emotions around failure. The language we use to express those emotions often dictates our behavior.

For example:

An angry person wants to lash out or fight.

A discouraged or hopeless student might feel like quitting.

A disappointed student might try to figure out how to do something differently the next time.

A student who is resentful may take out the experience on others who were successful.

A student who feels shame or embarrassment might become quiet and try to hide or forget the experience.

Clearly, these are different ways to react to the experience of failure.

How Teachers Can Help Students Understand and Express Emotions

Teachers are not guidance counselors or social workers, but they can still play an important role in helping students to develop an understanding of their emotions and using different language to express those emotions.

Here are simple ways that teachers can foster growth and understanding around emotions. These are not meant to be lessons specifically about emotions but to integrate emotional awareness into all areas of the curriculum.

When reading or discussing content where characters or people are experiencing emotionally charged events, stop and talk about what these people might be feeling and how it may affect their actions.
When reading, watching a video, or discussing current events, focus on the perspective of the people involved. What behaviors were displayed? What emotions might they be feeling and why might they be feeling this way? How are the behaviors and the emotions connected?
In teaching writing, encourage students to expand and clarify their words choices about feelings. Have them search an online thesaurus to replace overused terms such as happy, sad or angry with more specific terms.
Welcome students at the beginning of class. Ask them how they are. When they comment with “good” or “ok”, respond back with a few specific choices, “Are you content? Satisfied? Thrilled?” Eventually this can become almost a game, and students will start to respond with more specific answers. Make it fun, not a chore!
Use emojis when responding to student work. There are emojis for many different emotions! 😁🤣🤗😏😥😗😌
Use music or art in your lessons. Both music and art can evoke strong feelings. Use it as an opportunity to talk about different feelings that come up with hearing or viewing in a different medium. This can work in any subject area.
Set a daily intention. Before you begin a lesson, set a learning intention. Some examples: “By the end of the day I want you to feel accomplished.” “After you work in your small groups, I want you to feel satisfied that you have figured out the solutions to the math problems.” Or “As you work today, I want you to feel surprised at something new you discovered.”
When a student becomes visibly upset, pull aside the student and have a private conversation. What is the student feeling? Why? What are some ways to respond appropriately to those feelings?
Be a role model for expressing feelings. If you are disappointed in something, say so and discuss it. In awe of last night’s lunar eclipse? Share it. Let students see a variety of emotions expressed in healthy ways.

Offering emotional support for students isn’t a curriculum to be implemented. It isn’t a one -and -done lesson plan. It is about recognizing that helping students to express and regulate their emotions is a useful goal.

It is understanding that you are not teaching just your subject matter, you are teaching students.

Our best,

Brown, B. ( 2021). Atlas of the heart. New York: Random House.

P.S. If you teach young children, read our discussion on how to help young students name emotions here.

SEL Strategies: Help Children Express their Feelings

November 3, 2022 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Since the pandemic, we have heard many teachers discuss the need to help students develop social and emotional skills. Today’s focus is on young children and ways to help children express their feelings in appropriate ways.

From time to time we share guest posts from insightful, thoughtful educators. We like to share with you the best of the best teaching information we can find.

Today’s post is written by Yanique Chambers, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker who writes about helping children with social and emotional development. Her blog covers topics such as helping children set goals, make good decisions, and develop empathy. You will find information about helping children make friends, dealing with bullies, life skills checklists for children and teens and much more. See her bio and the link to here blog at the end of this article.

9 Ways to Help Children Express Feelings by Yanique Chambers

I often tell my children to use their words when they are upset. I assume they know what they are feeling and can verbalize it to me. Wrong! It’s difficult for children to say what they are feeling because many times they don’t know what to name the feeling they are experiencing. Instead, they show us how they are feeling by throwing temper tantrums and having meltdowns. We first need to teach children the words to express their feelings before we require them to “use their words.”

Young children can be taught basic emotions such as happy, mad, sad, and scared as early as two years old. As they get older, you can explain emotions such as feeling frustrated, nervous, shy, etc. to them.

Here are some ways you can help your child learn the language they need to express their feelings:

1. Sing songs to help young children learn how to express their feelings.

I came across this version of a preschool classic, If you are happy and you know it at Sunflowersstorytime.com. It goes:

If you’re happy and you know it clap your hands.

If you’re surprised and you know it say “Oh my!”

If you’re sad and you know it rub your eyes “Boo hoo”

If you’re scared and you know it shiver and shake.

If you’re sleepy and you know it close your eyes.

If you’re angry and you know it stomp your feet.

And always make sure end up with “happy” again.

They suggest having pictures of each emotion to show the kids as they sing the song.

2. Use games and activities to teach children about feelings.

Children like learning through playing and having fun. A fun game to help kids learn about feelings is Feelings Charades.

For this game you will need to make a feelings cube. Paste pictures of feeling faces on a tissue box. Have kids roll the box and whatever feeling face it lands on they have to act out.

You can find free feeling picture cards here.

You can also use the cards to play Memory. Simply print out two sets of Feeling Cards, shuffle them and then have your child find the matching Feelings Card.

3. Watch kid-friendly videos about feelings.

Kids respond well to visual stimulation. Here are two videos I like to show kids to help them learn about feelings:

4. Get into the habit of labeling the feelings children experiencing.

For example, if a child runs up to you and hugs you, you can say something like “someone is excited to see me” or “someone is happy I’m here.” Labeling children’s feelings as they happen helps them to build their feelings vocabulary.

5. When you read to children, discuss how the characters in the story are feeling.

Point out any clues that lets you know what they are feeling such as facial expressions or behaviors. Then explain to your child why the characters feel the way they do.

If your child is able to, let them take a turn identifying how the characters are feeling and why.

I like to read The Way I Feel to young children because it uses beautiful images to describe a range of feelings.

6. When a child does something that upsets someone else, let them know how their behavior might make others feel.

For example, “When you called your friend names, she felt sad and her feelings were hurt.” This will help children be mindful of what they say and do to others. You can follow up by asking how they would feel if someone did the same thing to them. Encouraging a child to put themselves in someone else’s shoe teaches them how to be empathetic. Empathy is an important life skill that will allow your child to maintain positive relationships with other people.

7. Model appropriate ways to express feelings.

Children are always watching us, and like sponges, they soak up everything including the good and bad. If a child sees you expressing your feelings in a positive way, over time they learn to do the same. However, if they see you yelling when you get upset, they are more likely to mimic this behavior.

8. Teach children appropriate ways to express their emotions.

It’s important that children learn that it is OK to have their feelings. What matters is how they express them. When your child is calm, discuss with them ways they can calm down when they are upset. The ABC’s of Calming Down is a great resource that contains 26 alphabetized calm down strategies to help children calm down.

9. Praise children when they use words to express their feelings.

Having the self-control to express your feelings appropriately is no easy feat. There are many adults who are unable to do this. When a child tells you how they are feeling instead of having a complete melt down, praise them for doing so. Be very specific. For example, “I like how you told your friend that you were sad when she called you names. That was very mature of you.” Praising children for practicing good behavior makes them more likely to do it again in the future. It also lets them know that you are watching them and notice when they do good things.

It is important that children learn how to identify and express their feelings in an appropriate manner. Kids who are able to express their feelings are less likely to have meltdowns and temper tantrums. They also have an easier time making friends and getting along with others.

For additional resources on teaching children about feelings, check out these Feelings Task Cards.

Yanique Chambers is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker turned stay-at-home mom. You can find her on her blog kiddiematters.com where she discusses creative ways to teach children valuable social and life skills. You can also find her on twitter.com/kiddiematters

« Previous Page
1
…
3
4
5
6
7
…
17
Next Page »

The Courage to Be Bold S. 2 E.25

Listen to this episode to learn why being bold is good and 4 steps you can take to have the courage to be bold.

Show Notes

Episode summary:

In this episode:

Building Your Boldness

Share this:

Making an Impact S. 1 E. 14

Do you ever wonder if you are making an impact on your students? How do you know? In this episode we are talking about signs and signals you can be watching for to assure yourself that what you do is making an impact.

Show Notes:

‌How to Know If You Are Making an Impact With Your Students

Do you call students by name?

Do you give positive feedback?

Do you help students to grow?

Do you teach the whole student?

Do you still care?

You make more of an impact than you may realize.

‌How do you know you are making a difference with your family and friends?

Share this:

Encourage curiosity.

Teach planning and working strategies.

Deemphasize Tests

Reward struggles.

Allow failure.

Deemphasize grades.

Share this:

Why Understanding Emotions is Important

Brené Brown on Managing Our Emotions

The Language We use Around Emotions Matters

How Teachers Can Help Students Understand and Express Emotions

Share this:

1. Sing songs to help young children learn how to express their feelings.

3. Watch kid-friendly videos about feelings.

4. Get into the habit of labeling the feelings children experiencing.

5. When you read to children, discuss how the characters in the story are feeling.

6. When a child does something that upsets someone else, let them know how their behavior might make others feel.

7. Model appropriate ways to express feelings.

8. Teach children appropriate ways to express their emotions.

9. Praise children when they use words to express their feelings.

Share this:

Connect with us on Social Media!