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Mindset Shift: Circle of Control

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In all likelihood, you have found yourself hijacked at school. You had plans, and something happened to derail them. Parents demand something that is unrealistic. Emotional stressed students have a melt down or create behavior challenges. You are overwhelmed with too many demands on your time, attention and abilities.

The result?  Stress.  Anger.  A feeling of hopelessness or helplessness. You feel out of control.

Your brain gets hijacked and you start working from your amygdala, the part of the brain that deals with emotions. The amygdala, sometimes known as “the lizard brain,” isn’t capable of rational thought. It is reactive, and floods your body with adrenaline and stress hormones. The amygdala’s job is to keep you alive.  It is sending signals to fight or flight.  When our brains hit the panic button, reason goes out the window.

Walking around with all those stress hormones running through your body isn’t doing you any good. You need a mindset shift!

How do you get back to your rational, logical mind, the part controlled by your prefrontal cortex? How do you stop the lizard from driving the bus?

You need a mindset shift. 

Todays mindset shift tip comes from Shawn Achor, author of the books The Happiness Advantage and Big Potential.

Draw two big circles. The first circle is our self -awareness circle. Identify all those negative feelings and write them in the circle. Brain scans show that getting negative feelings down in writing diminishes their effect- it takes logic and reasoning part of our brain to use words. This immediately diminishes the power of amygdala. It is the first step towards getting back in control.

The second circle is your circle of control. Look at your current situation. Identify which aspects of your situation you can control- and which you can’t. Then, let go of the stressors that you can’t control. Identify the areas that you can control – these are the places where your actions can have an impact.

Pick one small thing you can control and do it.

Concentrating your efforts on small things that you can control helps you to realize that you can make a difference. Positive action increases our positive mindset and gives us a greater confidence in our abilities.

This is one way to shift your mindset from negative, stressed and feeling ineffective to feeling positive and in control.  If you need a mindset shift, why not give it a try?

Our best

Paula and Michele

Back to School- What’s Going Well?

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back to school: what's going well, jar with pencilsMost of you are back to school, or will be back to school next week. Many of our readers, Facebook followers, Twitter followers and teacher friends have been sharing their experiences from the first days of school. Like all of you, we have been really interested in what this school year would look like.

Despite the apprehension, it seems that for the most part, everyone is rising to the challenge. This is not to negate the very real potential for harm to children or teachers in schools which opened in person, nor to the isolation and struggles of children and families working online. We know that most of you have no choice in your school delivery method this year. We also know that you are exhausted!

Despite all the uncertainty, there are good things happening.

Based on what we have seen and heard, here are the positive take-aways for the first few weeks of school.

Parents are glad school is starting.

Parents seem happy students are back to school, whether virtually or in person. As always, parents filled their Facebook feeds with first day of school pictures. Parents may complain about the delivery method, but everyone is glad for some structure for their kids.

Students are happy to be back in school.

Julie wrote on our Facebook page, “The students are back and are so happy to be at school! They’ve sat down for stories and listened. They haven’t argued over toys. They’ve been eager to play and learn.”

Melissa shared on our Facebook page, “One of my students saw my face pop in to the small group meeting and screamed, “oh my goodness, yay!!! I am so excited to see you again!

Shannon shared, “My scholars are doing so well!! I’m so proud of them! Lots of teamwork! I love it!”

 Masks might not be as difficult as we thought.

Students seem to be handling masks better than expected. One Dallas teenager said, “Everyone wears them.  We don’t want to, but we don’t want to end up back at home. It sucks and they are annoying, but we’d rather be with our friends with a mask on than at home without one.”

Even the younger students seem to have adapted. One first grade teacher wrote, “I am pleasantly surprised that the kids barely mess with their masks. However, I find myself pulling at my mask a hundred times a day.”

Focus on students’ mental health

We’ve seen many Facebook posts about Maslow before Bloom, referring to Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs which says that we need our physical needs met as well as safety, and a sense of belonging before we can learn.

Many schools have posted videos or notes to students welcoming them back to school and expressing how happy they will be to see students this year. We’ve seen countless teacher notes and teacher welcome back videos too. These messages build a sense of connection even before school begins.

We’ve also seen teachers create lessons around getting to know each other, and about self-care. Teachers are trying to make sure students are seen and heard. Teachers truly care about their students, now more than ever. The message to students is that they are loved.

We love this list teachers have been sharing from the Institute of Child Psychology:

  1. Keep them Safe
  2. Lower their anxiety about the current situation.
  3. Make them laugh.
  4. Make them feel loved.
  5. Teach them something.

All in that order.

There are surprise bonuses in a new teaching method.

One high school teacher wrote on Twitter, “I just want to acknowledge an awesome part of remote teaching. It’s allowing students to drop in during asynchronous time and ask questions with no one around, and no one knows. These are students that are too embarrassed and would never ask a question if it drew attention.”

An elementary teacher who is teaching in a hybrid model shared, “I am enjoying only having half the students at a time. I feel like I am getting to know them better.”

Teacher Optimism

No matter what they feel about the delivery method, teachers are putting on a brave face for the students. We’ve read many comments about how happy they are to be back and to see students again.

That’s not to say it isn’t different. One teacher, teaching in a hybrid model, said, “With the masks, no playground equipment, and desks 6 feet apart it doesn’t feel like the school they love. We are trying to incorporate other things to still make it fun.”

Another teacher wrote on Twitter, “Yep, we had some glitches and it wasn’t perfect but we came together and delivered powerful learning experiences for our students during this challenging time. We are all in this Together!”

We are happy to see teachers being so optimistic despite all the challenges. There are so many things out of our control. We can, however, control our attitude.  At the end of the day, we can be miserable and pessimistic or we can make the best of what we have been handed.

Our best,

Paula and Michele

How Teachers Can Help Parents With Learning at Home

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The relationship between teachers and the parents of their students has always been important. Now that Coronavirus has closed schools and teachers are teaching virtually, the relationship with parents has become even more important. How can teachers help parents as they are trying to help students learn at home?

Most parents want to help their children keep learning. Many feel under-prepared and overwhelmed.  They are also juggling jobs and struggling emotionally as they try to find a new normal in an unprecedented time.

Teachers are also struggling to turn their classrooms into virtual learning experiences. Educating an entire nation of students at home is a huge task. Now more than ever before, this challenge requires teachers and parents to work together.

Teachers understand their students and the educational needs they have. They understand the curriculum and standards students must meet. They know the on-line programs their district uses. Perhaps most importantly, they know how to manage their classrooms while meeting not only the educational needs of students but also their social, emotional and physical needs.

These are all things that teachers can share with parents.

Here are some ideas of ways to help parents with learning at home.

Offer reassurance.

Remind parents that they don’t need to come up with curriculum, and that you will guide them. It might also be useful for them to know that much of the time, their job is to supervise and guide students, not to “teach” them. Let them know that this process will not be perfect, that there is room for flexibility and adaptations. Also let them know of time expectations. We’ve seen Facebook posts from of parents who believe they need to be teaching for 6-8 hours a day, which is not a realistic expectation.

Send links to the best resources.

Parents want to send their children on-line to use educational sites. As the expert, you know the sites that will help students in your grade and your subject matter. For example, if your students are supposed to be learning double digit subtraction, send parents links to sites where students can practice math skills at their level. Send links to documentaries that explore your subject matter. You can help parents narrow down the overwhelming number of on-line education sites to the ones that are age and developmentally appropriate, as well as those that connect to your content.

Give parents some basic learning management suggestions.

We’ve all seen the funny memes where parents are exasperated after spending just thirty minutes teaching their three children.  They are promising future undying support to teachers, recommending that they need to be paid a million dollars and promising to buy 100 glue sticks off of next year’s school supply list. Whatever you need, they promise, it’s yours! How do you do this with 29 children when we can’t even manage three?

While parents may be frustrated by managing their children, teachers know lots of ways to keep their students engaged. What comes naturally to you may not come so naturally to parents who haven’t had to spend a lot of time educating their children.

For example, you know the length of time you can expect your students to stay on task. You know how many minutes they should be reading each day, or approximately how long they should be spending on assignments. You also know that students need movement breaks or that starting off a class after a recess break might require a quiet, focusing activity like reading to them. Think of the techniques you use to engage and motivate students and share them with parents.

Give students and parents choices.

One of the struggles of suddenly moving instruction on-line is that not all families have access to all the same materials. Families may share electronic devices, or lack access to a printer. One way to combat this is to give parents choices. For example, give them the learning standard, and then offer them several different ways students can learn that standard.

Here is an example from fifth grade Common Core Standard: ELA- Literacy W.5.8: Recall relevant information from experiences or gather relevant information from print and digital sources; summarize or paraphrase information in notes and finished work, and provide a list of sources.

Here are the choices:

Students could recollect favorite family memories. They could interview three family members, and write down their version of the events. They then summarize the information and provide their sources.

Students chose a current event topic. They could use various sources including books, documentaries and on-line, print, or television news sources. They then summarize the information and provide their sources.

Students could choose a favorite topic. They could find three different on-line sources. They then summarize the information and provide their sources.

Giving students choices is a major factor in motivation, and parents will enjoy having some choices too.

Find ways to stay emotional connected to students.

Your students’ emotional comfort and safety are important to you. Teachers often provide social and emotional support for students. Now, isolated from their peers, and with their daily rhythms upended, students may feel the loss.

We love the many ways we’ve seen teachers reach out to families. They’ve conducted drive -by parades. They have sent daily video messages. They have conducted Zoom calls or Facebook Live sessions. Teachers are calling the students and parents weekly.

We urge you to continue to support your students and their families in whatever way works best for you. You are the anchor in many students’ lives, and they continue to need your presence.

We know that these are crazy, stress filled days. We also know that the teacher heart is alive and strong, and ready to take on new challenges. Now, more than ever, the world needs your expertise. You have options for what that will look like in the months ahead, and we are encouraged by the many ways we have seen you rise up to meet the challenges head on.

Let us know what we can do to support you, and in the meantime, keep shining!

Our best,

Paula and Michele

Raise Your Standards for Personal Interactions

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teacher shpwing frustration, raise your standardsDo You Need to Raise Your Standards?

As you have become a teacher, chances are, you have raised your standards in some areas of your life.

Many of us are rethinking our relationships with food, choosing foods that are higher quality, organic, local, and more nutritious. We may have raised out standards in terms of exercise, recognizing that exercise helps us reduce frustration and become more mindful. Since you are a working professional, you have likely raised your standards in terms of your personal wardrobe.

We may also need to raise our standards in terms of how we interact with others.

It isn’t always easy to change your standards. Our standards are deeply ingrained; we often developed our standards as children when our parents and others taught us how to act. We also create our standards as a reflection of our personal values. Our standards are also closely related to our beliefs about what we think we deserve, and about our value as a person.

This is where it gets tricky. Examining how you interact with others takes it out of the individual realm as it involves another person. We are no longer just considering our wants and needs, but those of the other person.

You may need to raise your standards in your interactions with others if you have ever found yourself doing one or more of the following:

Failing to correct a student because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.

Not speaking up at a faculty meeting when you disagree because you don’t want to upset your colleagues or make them think you are a troublemaker.

Letting a student, parent or other teacher yell at you.

Letting a student undermine you by allowing them to change the direction of an activity.

Allowing someone to take credit for your work.

Doing the work of someone else rather than call them on it or letting it go undone.

If you have experienced any of these things,  is a sign of an interaction which needs to be improved.

Here are a few ways to raise your standards in how you interact with others:

Understand that teaching often involves correcting someone or helping them to change behaviors and that this is a positive thing.

Teachers often hesitate to correct students because they don’t want to make them feel bad. Rather than framing it as criticism, frame it as help. Help students to understand that it is your job to offer guidance.  Help students to understand that having a growth mindset means that they are going to make mistakes and that is part of the process. It does not mean that you will punish them.

If a student turns in a math assignment and misses 8/10 problems, you can return in to him with a big, red, fat “F” on top. That will likely be received as punishment. Alternatively, you can have a conversation about what went wrong and explain to him how to fix it.  Then ask him to do the assignment over. That will be received as help.

Do not allow other people to treat you with disrespect.   

You teach other people how to treat you by how you respond to them. If you allow someone to take credit for your work, or to undermine your decisions they will likely continue to do so. If they know that they can slack off and you will pick up their end of the project, they will leave you doing more than your fair share of the work.

If the “Me Too” campaign has taught us anything, it is that we don’t have to accept poor behavior in order to succeed. This doesn’t just apply to sexual impropriety, but to bad behavior in general.  You do not have to allow anyone to scream at you. You can respectfully suggest that you will set up another time to talk when emotions are not running so high.

If a student calls you a disrespectful name, do not answer. Do not engage in name calling. You do not need to let it pass, but know that in the heat of the moment is not the right time to address severe behaviors. Try to remain calm and tell the person  that the behavior is not acceptable and that you will continue the conversation when you can both respond calmly.

Learn to have courageous conversations.

If someone throws you under the bus, call them on it. Know your value and stand up for yourself when needed. If people in your life leave you feeling resentful, angry and hurt, speak up. You can do this without accusations by addressing how you feel. If you value the relationship, say so, and acknowledge what kind of behaviors you want or need. Though it can be difficult to do so, try to stay calm and speak with a low voice.

It isn’t fun to have courageous conversations, but when we do so, often times we clear the air. It is a chance to let go of anger and resentment. It is also a chance to better understand the other person and let them understand you.

Be aware of what you bring to your interactions.

The other side of the story is in what your attitudes and actions say about you. You’ve heard of the Golden Rule, and it is not bad advice to treat people how you would like to be treated. Raising your standards means being aware of you what you bring to interactions. Being respectful and kind goes a long way. People notice when you show up with integrity. You can take the high road and become a positive role model.

Though it is a process rather than an event, it is possible to raise your standards around relationships and interactions. You won’t always get it right, and old habits sometimes die hard. Try to keep moving in the right direction. Small steps in the right direction will often add up to big improvements.

When we raise our standards, we understand who we are and how we need to show up in the world in order to give and receive value. That is a worthy goal, one that will serve you well as a teacher and in other parts of your life.

Our best,

Paula and Michele

Lessons Learned from My Year Teaching 4th Grade

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Today we are sharing a guest post written by Carolyn Wiezorek. Carolyn left a position she loved as a university professor with a passion for teaching and a calling to change the system of education. Her first stop took her back to teaching a 4th grade classroom in a Title 1 school. While she only stayed one year, she learned valuable lesson that will contribute to her efforts in making school better for all. We think she has great insight into what teaching looks like and how to do it well.

Here are 5 lessons Carolyn learned by spending a year teaching fourth grade:

Behavior is like a foreign language.

Behavior is chock full of meaning and if you work hard and put in the time, you can learn the meaning behind the previously unintelligible. One child acts out at math time every day to avoid doing work that is over his head. No one likes to feel stupid and refusing to do work saves face. Another child needs attention and will get it any way she can even if it means facing negative consequences. Yet, another child needs to be moving and finds it difficult to sit or focus. It is important to seek the root cause of the behavior. If you fail to do so, you only address the symptoms and never understand or help the child.

Learning is personal.

Children don’t learn simply because you teach. The content needs to be interesting to them. They need to care, to have a reason for learning – a purpose. Charismatic teachers can entice students to find concepts, skills, or ideas interesting, but teachers who build relationships with students succeed in connecting students to interesting content because they know what each student cares about.

These teachers organize learning in a way that brings content to the students and allows each to apply it in personal and meaningful ways. For example, allowing students to apply physics concepts to various hobbies or pursuits (sports, Lego creations, nature, etc.) or relate comprehension strategies to self-selected texts. Students don’t need to be reading the same book in order to practice or demonstrate reading skills and strategies. They are more likely to read, and enjoy reading, when they choose the books. Personalizing learning is easy if teachers know their students and create an environment where student voice and choice are the norm.

Today’s society is harsh, even for students who live in the best of circumstances.

I learned a lot about trauma and Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs), as well as how these experiences interfere with learning and cause physiological harm. It is more important than ever to help children feel safe, reduce potential triggers, and strip away anxiety-causing practices.

Establishing routines helps create a predictable and relaxing classroom atmosphere while maximizing learning time. Teaching students to recognize their feelings, and what might cause the feelings, is another positive step. Yoga and mindfulness techniques can be taught and practiced, equipping students with tools to combat negative emotions and experiences, and lessen the effect of triggers.

All of us must fight the many educational practices that cause student anxiety and intellectual harm including, but not limited to, high-stakes testing, grades, narrow definitions of school success (reading and math), fixed timelines, one-size-fits-all curriculum, decontextualized content, standardized assessments, and the impossible number of standards students are expected to meet. No 8-year-old, or any-year-old, should be stressed from attending school.

Teachers and parents are on the same team.

They are the starting line-up. When teachers and parents work together, students get the message, “You matter! We are going to make sure you succeed.” My teaching partner and I communicated early and often with parents. We especially worked to share good news and positive behavior. When students made bad choices, they would call parents (on speaker) to share what they had done wrong and how they were going to “make it right.” Having all parties involved in the conversation from the start minimized student editorializing of the situation. Our close relationship also, contributed to 100% attendance for parent-teacher-student conferences.

One’s heart is big enough to love many people.

When students are assigned to your class, they become your children. You would do anything for them, and you want what is best for each one. The act of gracing students with unconditional love develops powerful relationships that allow tough conversations and high expectations. The most challenging conversation between my students and me began with, “I love you and I care about you so…” By the end of the year, the conversation might start with me asking the student to read my mind and him/her responding, “You love me and care about me, so you are not going to let me…” When students know you care about them, they more honestly reflect on their words and actions because they know you desire for them to become the best possible versions of themselves.

​My 4th grade students will remain forever in my heart as I take the next step of my journey, principal of a private school, which includes a Spanish immersion program. As an administrator, I hope to enact my beliefs about learning in ways that honor and empower students, teachers, and parents.

 

Carolyn WiezorekCarolyn Wiezorek is a former classroom teacher, education professor and coach.  She is currently principal of a private school in Dubuque, Iowa.

Follow Carolyn’s blog New World of School here.

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