Raise Your Standards E. 15

June 7, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Raise Your Standards S. 1 Ep. 15

Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can raise your standards to live in alignment with your beliefs and values.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

We all have personal standards. Sometimes they serve us well and sometimes they don’t. In this episode we talk about the standards you have set for yourself and where you might need to examine them, tweak them, or even change them.

We’re not talking about Common Core or state standards, we’re talking about the standards you set for yourself, the standards you live by and that drive your actions. Though the educational system may set the curricular standards, you are in charge of setting your own standards!

In this episode:

What do we mean by standards?

Today we are talking about raising our standards.

We are not talking about the Common Core, Next Gen Science Standards or your state standards.

We are talking about your personal and professional standards.

By definition a standard is a “level of quality or attainment.” A standard is also an adjective we use to describe “an idea or thing used to measure” it’s what we use for comparison to what is “normal” or an expected level.

Examples of standards:

We set standards, or boundaries around what we are willing to do based on our values and beliefs.
We have standards around how we act around people, talk to people, and present our selves.
We have standards around the quality of work we will do.
Our standards tell us what we expect and what we will tolerate.
We also set standards for how we want to be treated and what we expect from ourselves and from other people.
If your standards are high, you understand your worth and your value and act accordingly.
If your standards a low, you are going to accept pretty much anything from yourself or others, you have low expectations and settle for the path of least resistance.

Though the educational system may set the curricular standards, you are in charge of setting your own standards!

What determines the type of standards we have?

Our standards are deeply ingrained; we often developed our standards as children when our parents and others taught us how to act.
We learn standards from watching others model- both positively and negatively
We also choose to create our standards as a reflection of our personal values.
Our standards are also closely related to our beliefs about what we think we deserve, and about our value as a person. As your understanding of who we are or what we believe changes, so should our boundaries.

It isn’t always easy to change your standards. They have become a part of us. That said, we CAN change our standards and we may need to in order to elevate our lives.

Leonardo DiCaprio understands that sometimes we will need to raise our standards when he said, said, “Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”

Raise Your Standards for Personal Interactions

Do You Need to Raise Your Standards?

As you have become a teacher, chances are, you have raised your standards in some areas of your life.

Many of us are rethinking our relationships with food, choosing foods that are higher quality, organic, local, and more nutritious.
We may have raised our standards in terms of exercise, recognizing that exercise helps us reduce frustration and become more mindful.
Since you are a working professional, you have likely raised your standards in terms of your personal wardrobe. The world has gone more casual in dress, but there are various levels of casual and also appropriate and inappropriate situations for some clothing.

There are some other areas where it is possible to raise your standards.

You may also need to raise your standards in how you talk to yourself. Many of us have a mean girl or a bully voice in our head that doesn’t say very nice things.
How can we expect others to show us love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when we don’t even show that to ourselves?

You may need to raise your standards in your interactions with others.

This is where it gets tricky. Examining how you interact with others takes it out of the individual realm as it involves another person. We are no longer just considering our wants and needs, but those of the other person.

You may need to raise your interpersonal standards if you have ever found yourself doing one or more of the following:

Failing to correct a student because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Not speaking up at a faculty meeting when you disagree because you don’t want to upset your colleagues or make them think you are a troublemaker.
Letting a student, parent or other teacher yell at you.
Letting a student undermine you by allowing them to change the direction of an activity.
Allowing someone to take credit for your work.
Doing the work of someone else rather than call them on it or letting it go undone.

If you have experienced any of these things, is a sign of an interaction which needs to be improved.

Here are a few ways to raise your standards in how you interact with others:

Understand that teaching often involves correcting someone or helping them to change behaviors and that this is a positive thing.
Teachers often hesitate to correct students because they don’t want to make them feel bad. Rather than framing it as criticism, frame it as help. Help students to understand that it is your job to offer guidance.
Help students to understand that having a growth mindset means that they are going to make mistakes and that is part of the process. It does not mean that you will punish them.

Do not allow other people to treat you with disrespect.

You teach other people how to treat you by how you respond to them.
If you allow someone to take credit for your work, or to undermine your decisions they will likely continue to do so.
If they know that they can slack off and you will pick up their end of the project, they will leave you doing more than your fair share of the work.
You do not have to allow anyone to scream at you. You can respectfully suggest that you will set up another time to talk when emotions are not running so high.

Learn to have courageous conversations.

If someone throws you under the bus, call them on it.
Know your value and stand up for yourself when needed.
If people in your life leave you feeling resentful, angry and hurt, speak up. You can do this without accusations by addressing how you feel.
If you value the relationship, say so, and acknowledge what kind of behaviors you want or need.
Though it can be difficult to do so, try to stay calm and speak with a low voice.

It isn’t fun to have courageous conversations, but when we do so, often times we clear the air. It is a chance to let go of anger and resentment. It is also a chance to better understand the other person and let them understand you.

Raising your standards may be a sign of self care.

Recently, there was an article on the Today website called: Dear Moms: Trips to Target are Not Self-care. The basic premise was that many women think that a trip to Target is self-care. They walk around and look at the candles and pillows and drink a Starbucks latte, and then buy things their families need. That is not real self care. Real self care is actually asking for and getting something you really need- like an entire night to yourself or a day away with your friends. This is an example of how raising your standards can mean speaking up and asking for what you really need.

We’ll do an entire episode on real self care in the near future.

Be aware of what you bring to your interactions.

The other side of the story is in what your attitudes and actions say about you.
In episode 9 we talked about how YOU Set the Tone.
You’ve heard of the Golden Rule, and it is not bad advice to treat people how you would like to be treated.
Raising your standards means being aware of you what you bring to interactions.
Being respectful and kind goes a long way.
People notice when you show up with integrity. You can take the high road and become a positive role model.
“Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.” Mandy Hale

Though it is a process rather than an event, it is possible to raise your standards around relationships and interactions. You won’t always get it right, and old habits sometimes die hard.

We say this all the time, but it is true. Try to keep moving in the right direction. Small steps in the right direction will often add up to big improvements.

Recap: When we raise our standards, we understand who we are and how we need to show up in the world in order to give and receive value. That is a worthy goal, one that will serve you well as a teacher and in other parts of your life.

Quotes:

“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”

Leonardo DiCaprio

“Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.”

Mandy Hale

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Today: Dear Moms: Trips to Target are Not Self-care.

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

YOU Set the Tone Inspired Together Teachers Podcast Episode 9

Blog: Raise Your Standards for Personal Interactions

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

The Power of Community Ep.5

March 29, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 2 Comments

Listen to this episode to learn about how you can find or create systems of support so that you can access the power of community.

Show Notes:

Episode summary:

Did you know that there is an invisible system of support that is available to all of us? Life is challenging, and we need all the support we can get. How can you become connected to this kind of system or even help to create it? In today’s episode, we’re talking about the power of community.

Author and happiness researcher Shawn Achor says, “True happiness and success can’t be pursued alone. We need the support of others, those who “get it” and keep us inspired, help us think in new ways and collectively make each other better.”

We want you to find and acess the power of community. You deserve to be surrounded by others who life you up and make you better.

In this episode:

Topic 1: The (Sometimes Unseen) Immense Power of Community

The tree story- how intertwined tree roots make forests and individual tress stronger
Why we use a tree in our logo and other materials
What positive community in schools looks like

Topic 2: How to identify a struggling school community

What are signs that a school is NOT working as a community?

Topic 3: Ways to strengthen your school or personal support system

In the book Culture Code, NY Times Best Selling author Daniel Coyle suggests three characteristics of highly successful groups: Build Safety, Share Vulnerability, and Establish Purpose.
Example: what does safety, vulnerability, and purpose look like at school?
Example: what does safety, vulnerability, and purpose look like at home?

Quote

“Ecologists tell us that a tree planted in a clearing of an old forest will grow more successfully than one planted in an open field. The reason, it seems, is that the roots of the forest tree are able to follow the intricate pathways created by former trees and thus embed themselves more deeply. Indeed, over time, the roots of many trees may actually graft themselves to one another, creating an interdependent mat of life hidden beneath the earth. This literally enables the stronger trees to share resources with the weaker so the whole forest becomes healthier.

Similarly, human beings thrive best when we grow in the presence of those who have gone before. Our roots may not follow every available pathway, but we are able to become more fully ourselves because of the presence of others. “I am who I am because we are,” goes the saying, and mentors are a vital part of the invisible mat of our lives.”

Louis J. Zachary (2000). The Mentor’s Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships, (pg xiii)

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Big Potential: How Transforming the Pursuit of Success Raises Our Achievement, Happiness, and Well Being by Shawn Achor

Culture Code: The Secret of Highly Successful Groups, Daniel Coyle

The Mentor’s Guide: Facilitating Effective Learning Relationships, Louis J. Zachary

Related episodes and blog posts:

Don’t Be the Colleague that Others Want to Avoid

Inspired books: Big Potential

Use Your Team to help You Thrive

How to Strengthen Your Inner Teacher Warrior

How Well Does Your Team Function?

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life

Website: inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers | Facebook

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: TeacherWarriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live an inspired life.

Don’t Be The Colleague that Others Want to Avoid

February 5, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Are you the type of colleague that others want to avoid?

Have you ever even thought about it?

Unfortunately, we have all had experiences with colleagues we’d like to avoid. You know the ones- when you see them in the hall you find that you suddenly need to duck into the restroom.

Teaching is often a fairly isolated profession. Teachers spend the bulk of their time in the classroom with their students. If you have great relationships with students, does it really matter if you get along with colleagues?

Everyone likes to work in a safe, positive, and supportive environment. Healthy relationships between colleagues help to create positive environments. Positive relationships with co-workers can also increase overall engagement and productivity. When co-workers get along well, they experience stronger attitudes and higher motivation towards their work.

You likely have colleagues that you enjoy working with. You look forward to seeing them and are comfortable in their presence. Your meetings are productive and sometimes even fun. Close colleagues become friends and supporters. They can lift you up on days when you struggle, help you out in a pinch or surprise you with a coffee on a dreary Monday morning.

But what about the colleague that you find difficult? This is the person that drains you and leaves you feeling frustrated or even angry.

You don’t want to BE that co-worker.

How can you know if you are a colleague that others want to avoid?

The following are traits of a difficult or even toxic colleague:

They are Energy Vampires

The energy vampire tends to be pessimistic. They’ll always see the glass half full. When there is an opportunity, they will see all the ways that it won’t work.

They Engage in Negative Talk about Students and Other Colleagues

It is true that sometimes we just need to vent to someone we trust about someone else. A Toxic colleague makes this a regular practice. Their negativity bias works on overload, allowing them to see all the ways other people are problems without seeing the strengths that they bring.

They resist change.

The way we have always done it is fine, thanks. We tried that years ago and it didn’t work. Why reinvent the wheel? Along with this attitude comes an unwillingness to problem solve. What’s the point? It won’t work anyway.

They are inflexible.

Inflexible people often see the world in black and white. It is often all or nothing with this kind of person. They tend to have strict rules and never relax them. They are quick to see right or wrong and not willing to look at individual circumstances. They may also struggle with empathy, seeing someone else as wrong or bad.

They are grumpy.

You smile or say good morning and they answer with a grunt. They are irritated by cheerful people. They are not inclined to engage in social niceties. This person can easily take the wind out of your sails and change your attitude if you let them.

How to Deal with a Negative Colleague

When dealing with a negative colleague, don’t take things personally. Their attitude is not about you or caused by you. You may also not be able to change them. Do your best to stay positive and not let their energy affect your own energy. Try to reframe their statements in a productive way or at the very least, try not to perpetuate the negativity.

If you need it, keep a little mantra in your pocket:

I will not let this person drain me, frustrate me or make me angry.

I choose not to let this person change my attitude.

Are you the type of colleague that others want to avoid? Chances are, you are not a negative colleague, because if you were you would have abandoned reading this because you thought it didn’t pertain to you. Still, it never hurts to examine your own attitudes and behaviors. No one is perfect, but we can all try to be positive in our work relationships. As a result, we will be happier and more engaged in our work life.

Our best,

4 Ways to Decrease Stress and Increase Happiness

January 22, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Would you like to decrease stress and increase happiness and joy in your life? Many teachers feel that stress often overtakes and affects their wellbeing.

According to Laurie Santos, Yale Psychology professor who studies joy and podcasts at The Happiness Lab, “We’re entitled to and capable of much more joy than we have settled for.”

Ouch. That stings! Yet it is probably true of most of us. Have we really settled for less happiness than we could have?

That begs the question, what can we do to decrease our stress and increase our happiness?

Here are 4 ways, backed by scientific studies, that you can decrease stress and increase your happiness.

Plan to reduce stress before it starts.

Psychologist and self-help author Robert Epstein found that 25% of our happiness hinges on how well we’re able to manage stress. Epstein’s study determined that best way to manage stress is planning. Planning allows “fighting stress before it even starts, planning things rather than letting them happen,” says Epstein. “That means planning your day, your year and your life so that stress is minimized.”

Where could you save yourself stress by planning? Could you plan your meals, or what you’re going to wear a week at a time? Could you write lesson plans in terms of units rather than day to day plans? Could you plan what to say at parent -teacher conferences or plan what you will say to a challenging student?

Planning may eliminate some of the stress in your life. Consider where you are experiencing stress and see if you can reduce stress by planning.

Get more sleep.

Lack of sleep can contribute to mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, mental fog—and stress. Studies show that if you improve your sleep, these problems ease up, too.

What could you give up each day in order to get one more hour of sleep?

How could you change your evening or morning routines to allow more sleep?

Spend more time outdoors.

A growing body of research suggests that spending more time in nature reduces stress, increases cognitive function and leads to better moods and less anxiety. Research shows that being outside 120 minutes a week is most beneficial. If 120 minutes seems daunting, the study also showed that the amount could be spread out across the week. For example, you could spend an hour outside on a weekend, and just ten minutes a day the other days.

You may not have time for lengthy hikes on a work day, but how could you add ten minutes a day outside in the fresh air to your day? Recess duty counts! Could you plan family outings at a playground or going for walks each day?

Give it a try, and see if it increases your sense of well-being, and as a result, your happiness.

Build and maintain quality relationships.

If may be no surprise that spending time with friends makes you happier. A long term Harvard study showed that relationships are the number one key to long-term happiness. According to the director of the study, Robert Waldinger, “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health. Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

If you’ve ever needed permission to spend more time with friends, family, colleagues or those in your community, here it is.

Teachers are busy, and spending a few minutes talking with a colleague may seem like wasting time. In reality, it may be providing you with just the pick-me-up that you need.

How could you plan to spend a few minutes each day talking with someone you care about?

Make sure that you are planning time to talk with or physically be present with someone you care about on a regularly basis.

Hopefully, one of these four ways to decrease stress and increase happiness resonates with you.

Wishing you less stress and more happiness,

Emotional Support for Students in Middle Grades -High School

November 10, 2022 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Now, more than ever, teachers have recognized the need for emotional support for students. Since the pandemic, social and emotional needs of students have moved to the forefront of education.

Tier one of a comprehensive school mental health system includes the promotion of positive social, emotional, and behavioral skills and overall wellness for students. (Mid-America Mental Health Technology Transfer Center Network) This includes emotional support for students.

Why Understanding Emotions is Important

We recognize that helping students to understand and describe their emotions is a crucial part of developing emotional wellness. Our emotions affect almost all parts of us. They are connected to our families, culture and experiences. The effects of our emotions show up in our biological systems. Our emotions are also expressed in our behaviors and our behavioral patterns.

No matter what age or subject matter we teach, every teacher knows that emotions can cause conflicts for students. Whether they are emotions that harm an individual’s sense of self, or emotions that cause conflict between individuals, teachers find themselves regularly dealing with students’ emotions. Add to that raging teenage hormones and a still developing prefrontal cortex of the brain and you have a recipe for an explosion of emotions.

Brené Brown on Managing Our Emotions

According to Sociology researcher Brené Brown in her book Atlas of the Heart, those who are able to understand and distinguish between a range of various emotions are better able to manage the everyday ups and downs than those who see everything in black and white.

Brown and her colleagues have identified 87 different human emotions. In a massive study where participants were asked to list all of their emotions, Brown found that the average person listed just three: happy, sad and angry. The premise of her book is that we need to be able to better name and understand our emotions.

“Without understanding how our feelings, thoughts and behaviors work together, it is almost impossible to find our way back to ourselves and each other. When we don’t understand how our emotions shape our thoughts and decisions, we become disembodied from our own experiences and disconnected from each other (p.xx). ”

The Language We use Around Emotions Matters

The language we use around the emotions we have plays a crucial role in our experience of our emotions.

For example, a student who studies for a test and then fails that test might have a variety of emotions about the experience. The student might be angry, disappointed or frustrated. The student might feel resentful of those who studied less and passed. On a personal level, the student might feel shame, embarrassment or discouragement.

Any of those words, and others could be used to express emotions around failure. The language we use to express those emotions often dictates our behavior.

For example:

An angry person wants to lash out or fight.

A discouraged or hopeless student might feel like quitting.

A disappointed student might try to figure out how to do something differently the next time.

A student who is resentful may take out the experience on others who were successful.

A student who feels shame or embarrassment might become quiet and try to hide or forget the experience.

Clearly, these are different ways to react to the experience of failure.

How Teachers Can Help Students Understand and Express Emotions

Teachers are not guidance counselors or social workers, but they can still play an important role in helping students to develop an understanding of their emotions and using different language to express those emotions.

Here are simple ways that teachers can foster growth and understanding around emotions. These are not meant to be lessons specifically about emotions but to integrate emotional awareness into all areas of the curriculum.

When reading or discussing content where characters or people are experiencing emotionally charged events, stop and talk about what these people might be feeling and how it may affect their actions.
When reading, watching a video, or discussing current events, focus on the perspective of the people involved. What behaviors were displayed? What emotions might they be feeling and why might they be feeling this way? How are the behaviors and the emotions connected?
In teaching writing, encourage students to expand and clarify their words choices about feelings. Have them search an online thesaurus to replace overused terms such as happy, sad or angry with more specific terms.
Welcome students at the beginning of class. Ask them how they are. When they comment with “good” or “ok”, respond back with a few specific choices, “Are you content? Satisfied? Thrilled?” Eventually this can become almost a game, and students will start to respond with more specific answers. Make it fun, not a chore!
Use emojis when responding to student work. There are emojis for many different emotions! 😁🤣🤗😏😥😗😌
Use music or art in your lessons. Both music and art can evoke strong feelings. Use it as an opportunity to talk about different feelings that come up with hearing or viewing in a different medium. This can work in any subject area.
Set a daily intention. Before you begin a lesson, set a learning intention. Some examples: “By the end of the day I want you to feel accomplished.” “After you work in your small groups, I want you to feel satisfied that you have figured out the solutions to the math problems.” Or “As you work today, I want you to feel surprised at something new you discovered.”
When a student becomes visibly upset, pull aside the student and have a private conversation. What is the student feeling? Why? What are some ways to respond appropriately to those feelings?
Be a role model for expressing feelings. If you are disappointed in something, say so and discuss it. In awe of last night’s lunar eclipse? Share it. Let students see a variety of emotions expressed in healthy ways.

Offering emotional support for students isn’t a curriculum to be implemented. It isn’t a one -and -done lesson plan. It is about recognizing that helping students to express and regulate their emotions is a useful goal.

It is understanding that you are not teaching just your subject matter, you are teaching students.

Our best,

Brown, B. ( 2021). Atlas of the heart. New York: Random House.

P.S. If you teach young children, read our discussion on how to help young students name emotions here.

Raise Your Standards S. 1 Ep. 15

Show notes:

Share this:

Listen to this episode to learn about how you can find or create systems of support so that you can access the power of community.

Show Notes:

Share this:

You don’t want to BE that co-worker.

How can you know if you are a colleague that others want to avoid?

They are Energy Vampires

They Engage in Negative Talk about Students and Other Colleagues

They resist change.

They are inflexible.

They are grumpy.

How to Deal with a Negative Colleague

I will not let this person drain me, frustrate me or make me angry.

I choose not to let this person change my attitude.

Share this:

Here are 4 ways, backed by scientific studies, that you can decrease stress and increase your happiness.

Plan to reduce stress before it starts.

Get more sleep.

Spend more time outdoors.

Build and maintain quality relationships.

Share this:

Why Understanding Emotions is Important

Brené Brown on Managing Our Emotions

The Language We use Around Emotions Matters

How Teachers Can Help Students Understand and Express Emotions

Share this:

Connect with us on Social Media!