The Power to Design Your Life E.19

July 5, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

The Power to Design Your Life S.2 E.19

We all want to live our best, truest, and most fulfilled life. You can leave that chance, or you can make it a choice. Today, we’re talking about how you have the power to design your life!

Show notes:

In this episode:

In the first episode of this podcast we discussed three kinds of life- the caged life, the comfortable life, and the inspired life.

In the caged life, you feel trapped. You feel stuck in your relationships or job or social groups. You are unhappy more than you are happy. You wonder, is this all there is?

In the comfortable life, your life is easier. You have every reason in the world to be happy, but often, you are not. Your go to expressions is, “ It’s fine.” Its fine is a tell that you are in the comfortable zone. Life is not miserable, but it is not great either.

In the Inspired Life, you have a lot of energy and are proactive in making things happen that serve you. You have high levels of engagement whether it is a work or with your partner or family and friends. You are generally optimistic and look forward to things. You know what you want out of life and you are willing to work for it.

If the inspired life sounds good to you, then you will want to listen today as we talk about how you can design your inspired life.

Let’s explore drifting versus designing.

There is a chance that if you want an inspired life, it will happen naturally. But there is a better chance that you are going to have to be proactive in making that life what you want it to be.

Many people just drift through life. They are like a leaf in a current, drifting along, never resisting the current and going wherever the current takes them.

If you are drifting, you probably spend your days reacting to the challenges that appear. You feel ambivalent or even unhappy about your work, your home, the activities you are involved- pretty much everything. You might feel resentful of others, but don’t see another way.

Drifting teachers might complain about things at school or home, but don’t really do anything to fix it.

The other route is to design your life.

Think about what a designer does. They have a vision for what they want, and they work on developing and clarifying their vision. They have goals and plans and take action to make those plans come to life. They look for the challenges and rather than just deal with them, try to prevent them from happening in the first place.

In their book, Designing Your Life, which is based on a course at Stanford University, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans say, “Designers imagine things that don’t yet exist and then they build them, and the world changes. You can do this in your own life. You can imagine a career and a life that don’t exist; you can build that future you, and as a result, your life will change.”

A formula to help you design your life…

Here are suggestions based on what we’ve have learned by watching and interacting with people who successfully design their life.

Based on this, we offer you this formula:

envision the life you want to live
choose your priorities take actions accordingly
create habits so that you do the most important things
surround yourself with people who support you

Envision the life you want to live.

This might be a good place to mention that everything we are talking about here is in our book, The Inspired Teacher’s Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Have you ever made a vision board? It doesn’t have to be an actual board. It is also not just a cutting and pasting activity.

The purpose of vision boards is to keep your dreams and wishes close to you. You need to see them every day, and remind yourself what you want and what you’re working for. Without a clear vision, it is easy to drift through life, accepting whatever comes your way.

You’ve probably heard of manifesting. Manifesting usually starts with vision boards, and often stops there. That is not how we go about designing a life.

Developing your vision means doing some soul searching. You need to look within to see what is important and what you really want out of life.

Your vision can also become part of your purpose, it is your “why”. When the going gets tough, having a strong vision will keep you focused and motivated.

Here are some questions to help you find your vision:

If you were to describe your dream day, what would you be doing? Who would you be with?
What kinds of feelings do you want to have on a daily basis?
What do you love about your current life? What would you like to change about your current life?
Are you trying to fulfill someone else’s dreams for you?
Where or when are you your true, best self?
What do you love to do? What are you passionate about?
Who needs you?
What is worth fighting for?
When you look back on your life, what would you be proud to have done?

You need to own your vision. You can see it, and feel, it. The picture is clear.

Build support for your vision.

Support consists of action plans, personal habits, and how you connect with the people around you.

“Dream big and move your feet.”

You need action plans. How do you plan for action? You need a system to make sure you take action. What does it look like for you? Make sure you have a way to make things happen. If you leave everything until you get around to it, you’ll never get around to it.

You will need to devise habits that support building the kind of life that you want. It can be difficult to get rid of old habits and adopt new ones, but it is easier when you truly have a vision and goals you are working for.

Habits may be small, but they compound over time.

We often think of habits as something we HAVE to do, something that limits us. If chosen carefully habits can actually give us more time and freedom by eliminating choices and decisions we have to make. When it is a habit, you just do it.

In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear says, “Small Habits are a vote for who you are and who you want to be.”

Here are some examples of habits that support goals:

If your goal is to read more, plan to read 20 minutes per day
If your priority is quality time with your family, have supper together each night.
If your goal is to spend more time with friends and becoming healthier try exercising with your friends.

What habits could you incorporate into your life that align with your vision for your life?

Get support as you design your life.

Shawn Achor researched how people achieve happiness and success with 1000’s of people in countries all over the world. He shared his findings in the book Big Potential.

His found out that “Individual effort does not account for the most happiness or the best performance.”

Achor says, “You can be a superstar, you just can’t be one alone. What you need is a star system; a constellation of positive, authentic influencers who support each other, reinforce each other, and make each other better.”

Who is supporting you?
Who is someone who will dream with you?
Who can mentor you?
Who encourages you?
Who challenges you?
Who loves you unconditionally?

We end with another quote, this one from Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy in their book Living Forward,

“Real transformation happens when people take responsibility for their own lives and begin to live intentionally in every area. When they begin recovering their passion and start seeing progress, their lives change. Changed people result in changed families, changed schools, synogogues and churches, and companies and governments. And when this happens, you begin transforming culture in profound and lasting ways.”

We say if often, you are more powerful than you think!

Recap:

Designing your life is not impossible. You need to envision the life you want to live. You choose your priorities and take actions and create habits so that you do the most important things. And you surround yourself with people who support you.

You don’t have to drift along, accepting whatever comes your way. You have the power to create a life that you love.

Quote:

Designers imagine things that don’t yet exist and then they build them, and the world changes. You can do this in your own life. You can imagine a career and a life that don’t exist; you can build that future you, and as a result, your life will change.”

Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self, by Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg

Designing Your Life, by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Big Potential by Shawn Achor

Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired Together Teachers Podcast S1 E1. The Inspired Life

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Get Out of Your Head! Ep.17

June 21, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 3 Comments

Get Out of Your Head! S. 2 E.17

Listen to this episode to learn more about ways you can access three types of wisdom and go beyond your rational, analytical brain.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you spend most of your day in thinking mode? Our jobs require us to do a lot of thinking, reasoning and analyzing. Our best work comes from thinking…or does it? In today’s episode we are going to talk about three ways of accessing wisdom. Is it time for you to “get out of your head”? Listen up to find out.

In this episode:

What type of wisdom do you use most?

You likely spend most of your day in thinking mode. As teachers, we are in the information business. Information is largely brain based…. or so we have been taught.

Let’s try a little quiz:

Which statement is most like you?

1. I am connected to my rational side. I tend to analyze and think through things. I follow my head.

2. I am connected to and often lead with my feelings. I follow my heart.

3. I am connected to and often follow my gut instincts. I go with my gut.

The results of that quiz are a signal about the types of wisdom you access most.

If you related most to #1, you follow your head.

If you related most to #2, you follow your heart.

If you related most to #3 you follow your gut instinct.

These are three different types of wisdom that you can access. Most of us tend to use one over the others, but we can learn to use all three types.

Three Types of Wisdom

Brain wisdom IQ

If you have with brain wisdom you:

Rely on knowledge, mental activity, rational thinking, planning, reasoning
Focus on security and survival
Uses rational thinking to avoid fear and anxiety

We were all taught to learn with our brains and to teach with our head. Brain work includes research, reading, and analyzing data. We access the wisdom of others through our brains by watching, listening and reading.

It is in the decisions we make thousands of times a day. It is easy to fall back on brain wisdom and we can even get stuck there.

If you have ever worried or overthought things, you have been stuck in your brain wisdom. You can get so stuck there that you can actually start spinning- thinking of something over and over again and analyzing it in a million ways and which causes anxiety and leads to even more spinning.

Much of the time, brain based wisdom is necessary and useful. But it is not the ONLY way of accessing wisdom.

We can also access our heart wisdom and our gut wisdom. You can easily get this concept if you think of the characters from the Wizard of Oz.

You have the Scarecrow, who is looking for a brain- he wants brain wisdom, also known as IQ (Intelligence Quotient).

You have the tin man, who is looking for a heart. He wants to access heart wisdom which is also known as HQ (Heart Quotient) or EQ (Emotional Quotient).

And then you have the cowardly lion. He is looking for courage- which is also know as GQ (Gut Quotient).

Heart Wisdom

Another way of knowing is heart wisdom. With this kind of knowing, you know it in your heart. You feel it. Or you follow your heart.

Those with heart wisdom:

Trust their heart more than anything else
Have strong emotional/social Intelligence
Notice, control and express emotions in empathetic ways
Rely on their feelings and relationships to guide them

Think about times when you have felt heart wisdom.

You are often with other people, there is much heart wisdom in connections with others.
You are likely relaxed.
You might be outside in nature, not in a desk or a classroom.
Maybe you are in the shower, relaxing with water pouring onto your head.
You might be on vacation, enjoying the fun and sun.
You feel heart wisdom while engaging in the arts, music, poetry, art, drama
You might also feel heart wisdom while exercising- you are out on a run or on the treadmill.
Heart wisdom often comes to us when we are playing, relaxing or resting.
It very much occurs when we are laughing.

Think about what those circumstances all have in common.

You are not worrying or obsessing.
You are out of a work routine.
You are probably enjoying whatever you are doing.
You in present and enjoying the moment.

If you want to access heart wisdom, the recipe is clear. Play, relax, laugh, get out of your normal routine, be around others and be in the moment. These are the things that lead to new ideas and new insight, greater problem solving and yes, wisdom!

Gut Wisdom

Here is a little quiz for GQ:

Do you go with your gut? Do you listen to your instincts and almost always follow them?
Do you sometimes just feel things in your bones and know it is right?
Are you easily able to throw caution to the wind and just do something?
Can you roll with it rather than feel the need to plan out everything?

You react with your gut if you often react instinctively. You know in your gut whether something is good or bad, or whether you like someone or don’t. You are often quick to react and make instinctive decisions.

If you regularly do these things, you are accessing your gut wisdom.

We also call this body wisdom, instinct, intuition, your conscience, even inner spirit or God.

If you feel the instincts, but your brain self-doubt keeps you from following your instincts, you might need to work on accessing your gut wisdom.

How do you access your gut wisdom?

Listen to your body. Pay attention to physical sensations in your body when faced with a decision. Notice if you feel tension, discomfort, or a sense of ease in different situations. Your body often gives subtle signals that can provide insights into your intuition.
Practice mindfulness and meditation. Engaging in mindfulness and meditation practices can help quiet the mind and create space for intuitive insights to emerge. By cultivating present-moment awareness, you can connect more deeply with your inner wisdom.
Trust your initial response. When faced with a decision, trust your initial gut reaction or first instinct. Sometimes, overthinking or analyzing can cloud your judgment. By honoring your initial response, you may tap into your intuitive wisdom. If you feel like something is dangerous, pay attention.
Try journaling and reflection. Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal regularly. Reflecting on past experiences and decisions can help you identify patterns and understand how your gut instincts have guided you in the past. This can provide valuable insights for future decision-making.
Seek solitude and quiet. Find moments of solitude and silence to allow your mind to settle and your intuition to surface. Being in a calm and peaceful environment can help you connect with your inner voice and gain clarity on important matters.
Engage in creative activities. Creative activities such as drawing, painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument can help bypass the analytical mind and tap into your subconscious. Engaging in these activities can open up channels for intuitive insights to flow.

Here are a couple of other things that come to mind when you are thinking about gut wisdom:

Let go of self-consciousness. You may think everyone is judging and watching you, but they are probably too busy with their own things to worry about you.
Do something outside of your comfort zone. Stretch yourself. Try new things.

Sooner or later you are going to want something that is on the other side of your fear. You will always likely feel some fear, but you can learn to live with being scared and move forward.

Following your gut instincts can be difficult for some people. However, it often pays off in terms of making you feel more whole and your life more authentic.

Life coach Martha Beck says,

“Experience has taught me that the way to a joyful life is always fraught with fear, and to find it you must follow your hearts desire right through the inevitable terrors that arise to hold you back. If you don’t do this, your life will be shaped by fear rather than love, and I guarantee, the shape will be narrow and tiny compared to your best destiny.”

Remember that accessing your gut instinct takes practice and self-awareness. Be patient with yourself and trust the process. Over time, you will develop a stronger connection with your inner wisdom.

Recap: We are all used to living and working from our heads and brain wisdom is accepted and appreciated. However, we also have access to heart wisdom and gut wisdom. Together the three types of wisdom can make for a more complete picture of wisdom and real knowing. Maybe it is time to get out of your head and into the other ways of knowing.

Quote:

Martha Beck

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Real Self-Care Ep.16

June 14, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 5 Comments

Real Self-Care S. 2 E.16

Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can stop using faux self-care practices and start making choices that will create real self-care and more authentic living.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Have you ever been frustrated by self-care? Maybe you can’t find the time to indulge in a yoga class or journaling or meditation. Or maybe you can’t afford a spa day, a massage or even a latte. Do you indulge in self- care only to find that it feels good for a moment, but you quickly wind up stressed once again? Some of these things MIGHT be real self-care for you, but what does that look like? How do you know if it is real-self care?

In today’s episode were going to talk about real self-care.

In this episode:

We hear it all the time, we should be practicing self-care.

We’ve tried them all…yoga, meditation, journaling, practicing gratitude, coffee drinks, scented candles, bubble baths or steam showers.

And then there are luxury sheets, organizational systems to organize your home or classroom, and gorgeous planners with beautiful quotes and inspirational stickers.

These are all self-care things that make you feel good for a few minutes. There is nothing wrong with them. They can help us cope and help us deal with our stress.

Many self-care strategies give us the illusion of control- or the illusion of relaxation. But at the end of the day, they are helping us deal with the symptoms of our exhaustion and burnout and stress- not the cause of it. It is like continually takin aspirin for a headache and never trying to figure out why you have a headache in the first place.

And to make it even worse- if you can’t manage to get enough self-care in with your ever growing to-do list it feels like one more failure.

Have you ever felt stressed over your self-care activities?

Self-care can cause a lot of guilt because we feel like if it isn’t working, we are to blame.

Faux self-care

Self-care has become an industry. It is a product to be marketed and sold. It is everywhere.

Instagram has dozens of self care hashtags #selfcare has 73 MILLION posts.

Clearly we are look for self-care help.

In her book Real Self-Care, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin discusses the self-care problem. We have massive focus on self-care and thousands of products available to help. And yet is doesn’t seem to be working.

Dr. Lakshmin describes the current state of self-care as faux self-care- self care that is incomplete at best and manipulative at worse.

Dr. Lakshmin compares faux self-care to empty calories- devoid of substance, like a quick sugar high. It feels good in the moment but doesn’t nourish us in the long haul.

Most things we think of as self-care, are really faux self-care. There is nothing wrong with these activities or products- but they are remedies, not the way to fix the problem in the first place.

In her book, Dr. Lakshmin says that real self-care is an inside job. It is different for every person, and once you figure out what YOU need, it changes your self-image, your relationships, your workplace and your community.

What we have to do is stop focusing on the symptoms and focus on the root causes.

Real Self-care

What is real self-care? It’s a verb, not a noun.

It is connected to your internal decision making and the choices you choose to make in your life.

Real self-care allows you to get your needs met- in your relationships, in your family and in your work.

Real-self care brings you closer to yourself and what is most important to you.

Dr. Lakshmin says “Real self-care…is not a one -stop shop like a fancy spa retreat or a journaling app, it’s an internal process that involves making difficult decisions that will pay off tenfold in the long run as a life built around the relationships and activities that matter most to you.”

Real self-care involves …

setting boundaries
learning to treat yourself with compassion
making choices that bring you closer to your true self
living a life aligned with our values

This requires asking some tough questions and making hard choices. It also requires that we examine our relationship with guilt and shame. It is difficult work, and at first, it seems easier just to buy a scented candle.

The biggest question to focus on is why? Why are you choosing a self-care activity? For example, two different people choose to take a yoga class for self-care.

Mandy signs up because her friends are into yoga and she thinks she should get in on it too. She finds that it is an escape from her stressful life for an hour a couple of times a week. It is social, and she likes being with her friends, so she keeps going. When her friends can’t attend, she doesn’t go either. She doesn’t really miss it. She is experiencing faux self-care.

Trisha also takes a yoga class. She goes once a week, but wishes she could go more often. She loves the quiet, contemplation and always leaves feeling deeply nourished. Trisha’s yoga is true self-care.

It is not about the method, the activity or the product you buy, it is about what the experience does for you. One person’s piano practice is painful and boring, another person’s piano practice is fulfilling and life giving.

One person’s candle is a pleasant orange scent. Another person’s candle is the brand her mother always had burning when she came home from school and when she comes home and lights her candle it reminds her of her mom and the happy time they spent after school talking about their day. The scent makes her home feel warm and inviting. It makes her feel calm and relaxed.

Real self-care is less about adding things to your life than about understanding your place in the world and what you need to walk through the world feeling fulfilled.

How do you find what real-self care looks like for you?

Align your actions with your values.

Get in touch with your values. Take a values assessment. Your values are your hearts’ deepest desires. They include descriptions of how you want to live, how you want to interact with the world and how you want to feel when you are with yourself.
Knowing your values helps you eliminate the “shoulds” and focus on what is right for you.
Your values are what is unique about you, they are as unique as your fingerprint.
Holding your values and working within them is always self-nourishing.
When you align with your values, you will be doing fewer things that matter most to other people and more of the things that matter most to you.

If you want to do some activities to help you clarify your values, the book Real Self-Care is full of helpful activities.

Other examples:

A spa experience might not be about the spa treatments. If spending time with people nourishes you, then a spa day with friends might be what you need. The value is spending quality time with the people, not the specific activity.

If you highly value learning and growing, quiet time with a book is self-nourishing.

If you love to learn about new places, travel can be a form of self-care. It is all about asking what does this activity do for me and how is it connected to my values?

Learning to Set Boundaries

Another form of real-self care is setting boundaries.

Consider what you need and want and leave space for that.
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow or don’t allow.
You can let the phone go to voice mail or leave the email for a day. This gives you time to read and reflect, and make thoughtful decisions.
Realize that you do not have to attend everything. Your children do not have to be in every activity.
Recognize that you are not in control of how others feel or they will react. That is theirs to own.
Do not let what others might think of you drive your decisions. Listen to your own heart and your own instincts.
Practice with small things so you can handle the big boundaries.

Dr. Lakshmin says, “Every boundary you set is a reminder that you have agency over how you spend your time and ener

Treat Yourself with Compassion

Real self-care includes treating yourself with compassion.

Self-compassion is the lens with which you view yourself.
We often mistakenly think that compassion comes from the outside when we do good works, it actually comes from the inside.
Sometimes good enough is okay. B or C+ effort is enough.
Be willing to accept help, support, love and kindness.
Rest- you don’t earn it rest- it is a medical necessity.
We all have the inner mean voice that constantly criticizes us. Learn to silence that voice when it is too harsh.

Recap:

True self-care is an inside job. Self-care is not a temporary escape from life’s stresses. It is not a product that you can buy or a place that you can go. Real self-care is different for each of us. We find it by connecting our choices and actions to our values. Real self-care involves making difficult decisions that will pay off in the long run as we build a life around the relationships and activities that matter most to us. When done well, real-self care is empowering.

Quote:

“ Real self-care…is not a one -stop shop like a fancy spa retreat or a journaling app, it’s an internal process that involves making difficult decisions that will pay off tenfold in the long run as a life built around the relationships and activities that matter most to you”

“Self -care is an inside job.”

“Every boundary you set is a reminder that you have agency over how you spend your time and energy.”

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Real Self-Care (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) by Pooja Lakshmin, M.D.

Related episodes and blogs:

Inspired Together Teachers podcast episode 6 Set Priorities to Take Back Your Life

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Raise Your Standards E. 15

June 7, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Raise Your Standards S. 1 Ep. 15

Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can raise your standards to live in alignment with your beliefs and values.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

We all have personal standards. Sometimes they serve us well and sometimes they don’t. In this episode we talk about the standards you have set for yourself and where you might need to examine them, tweak them, or even change them.

We’re not talking about Common Core or state standards, we’re talking about the standards you set for yourself, the standards you live by and that drive your actions. Though the educational system may set the curricular standards, you are in charge of setting your own standards!

In this episode:

What do we mean by standards?

Today we are talking about raising our standards.

We are not talking about the Common Core, Next Gen Science Standards or your state standards.

We are talking about your personal and professional standards.

By definition a standard is a “level of quality or attainment.” A standard is also an adjective we use to describe “an idea or thing used to measure” it’s what we use for comparison to what is “normal” or an expected level.

Examples of standards:

We set standards, or boundaries around what we are willing to do based on our values and beliefs.
We have standards around how we act around people, talk to people, and present our selves.
We have standards around the quality of work we will do.
Our standards tell us what we expect and what we will tolerate.
We also set standards for how we want to be treated and what we expect from ourselves and from other people.
If your standards are high, you understand your worth and your value and act accordingly.
If your standards a low, you are going to accept pretty much anything from yourself or others, you have low expectations and settle for the path of least resistance.

Though the educational system may set the curricular standards, you are in charge of setting your own standards!

What determines the type of standards we have?

Our standards are deeply ingrained; we often developed our standards as children when our parents and others taught us how to act.
We learn standards from watching others model- both positively and negatively
We also choose to create our standards as a reflection of our personal values.
Our standards are also closely related to our beliefs about what we think we deserve, and about our value as a person. As your understanding of who we are or what we believe changes, so should our boundaries.

It isn’t always easy to change your standards. They have become a part of us. That said, we CAN change our standards and we may need to in order to elevate our lives.

Leonardo DiCaprio understands that sometimes we will need to raise our standards when he said, said, “Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”

Raise Your Standards for Personal Interactions

Do You Need to Raise Your Standards?

As you have become a teacher, chances are, you have raised your standards in some areas of your life.

Many of us are rethinking our relationships with food, choosing foods that are higher quality, organic, local, and more nutritious.
We may have raised our standards in terms of exercise, recognizing that exercise helps us reduce frustration and become more mindful.
Since you are a working professional, you have likely raised your standards in terms of your personal wardrobe. The world has gone more casual in dress, but there are various levels of casual and also appropriate and inappropriate situations for some clothing.

There are some other areas where it is possible to raise your standards.

You may also need to raise your standards in how you talk to yourself. Many of us have a mean girl or a bully voice in our head that doesn’t say very nice things.
How can we expect others to show us love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when we don’t even show that to ourselves?

You may need to raise your standards in your interactions with others.

This is where it gets tricky. Examining how you interact with others takes it out of the individual realm as it involves another person. We are no longer just considering our wants and needs, but those of the other person.

You may need to raise your interpersonal standards if you have ever found yourself doing one or more of the following:

Failing to correct a student because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
Not speaking up at a faculty meeting when you disagree because you don’t want to upset your colleagues or make them think you are a troublemaker.
Letting a student, parent or other teacher yell at you.
Letting a student undermine you by allowing them to change the direction of an activity.
Allowing someone to take credit for your work.
Doing the work of someone else rather than call them on it or letting it go undone.

If you have experienced any of these things, is a sign of an interaction which needs to be improved.

Here are a few ways to raise your standards in how you interact with others:

Understand that teaching often involves correcting someone or helping them to change behaviors and that this is a positive thing.
Teachers often hesitate to correct students because they don’t want to make them feel bad. Rather than framing it as criticism, frame it as help. Help students to understand that it is your job to offer guidance.
Help students to understand that having a growth mindset means that they are going to make mistakes and that is part of the process. It does not mean that you will punish them.

Do not allow other people to treat you with disrespect.

You teach other people how to treat you by how you respond to them.
If you allow someone to take credit for your work, or to undermine your decisions they will likely continue to do so.
If they know that they can slack off and you will pick up their end of the project, they will leave you doing more than your fair share of the work.
You do not have to allow anyone to scream at you. You can respectfully suggest that you will set up another time to talk when emotions are not running so high.

Learn to have courageous conversations.

If someone throws you under the bus, call them on it.
Know your value and stand up for yourself when needed.
If people in your life leave you feeling resentful, angry and hurt, speak up. You can do this without accusations by addressing how you feel.
If you value the relationship, say so, and acknowledge what kind of behaviors you want or need.
Though it can be difficult to do so, try to stay calm and speak with a low voice.

It isn’t fun to have courageous conversations, but when we do so, often times we clear the air. It is a chance to let go of anger and resentment. It is also a chance to better understand the other person and let them understand you.

Raising your standards may be a sign of self care.

Recently, there was an article on the Today website called: Dear Moms: Trips to Target are Not Self-care. The basic premise was that many women think that a trip to Target is self-care. They walk around and look at the candles and pillows and drink a Starbucks latte, and then buy things their families need. That is not real self care. Real self care is actually asking for and getting something you really need- like an entire night to yourself or a day away with your friends. This is an example of how raising your standards can mean speaking up and asking for what you really need.

We’ll do an entire episode on real self care in the near future.

Be aware of what you bring to your interactions.

The other side of the story is in what your attitudes and actions say about you.
In episode 9 we talked about how YOU Set the Tone.
You’ve heard of the Golden Rule, and it is not bad advice to treat people how you would like to be treated.
Raising your standards means being aware of you what you bring to interactions.
Being respectful and kind goes a long way.
People notice when you show up with integrity. You can take the high road and become a positive role model.
“Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.” Mandy Hale

Though it is a process rather than an event, it is possible to raise your standards around relationships and interactions. You won’t always get it right, and old habits sometimes die hard.

We say this all the time, but it is true. Try to keep moving in the right direction. Small steps in the right direction will often add up to big improvements.

Recap: When we raise our standards, we understand who we are and how we need to show up in the world in order to give and receive value. That is a worthy goal, one that will serve you well as a teacher and in other parts of your life.

Quotes:

“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”

Leonardo DiCaprio

“Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.”

Mandy Hale

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Today: Dear Moms: Trips to Target are Not Self-care.

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

YOU Set the Tone Inspired Together Teachers Podcast Episode 9

Blog: Raise Your Standards for Personal Interactions

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Are You Making an Impact? Ep.14

May 31, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 2 Comments

Making an Impact S. 1 E. 14

Do you ever wonder if you are making an impact on your students? How do you know? In this episode we are talking about signs and signals you can be watching for to assure yourself that what you do is making an impact.

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you ever wonder if you are making a positive impact? You’ve been working really hard, yet it is human nature to question yourself. Does what I do matter? Do students even notice or care how much I am working for them? Does my family feel loved and cared for? Are my relationships with friends meaningful? In this episode we are talking about how to know if you are making an impact.

In this episode:

One of things we are all want to know is that our life and work have purpose and that we making a positive impact. Today, we’re going to explore what that might look like.

We all want to make an impact. It gives our life value and purpose. It brings us fulfillment- and we’re talking top of Maslow’s higher needs and self-actualization here.

When we know we are making an impact, we have the stamina to get through the tough times. We all have challenges, but sometimes, if we know that the result is going to make a positive impact, we can accept the challenges.

We know that questioning our impact can be an issue for teachers. We hear it at our workshops. Teachers question whether they are really making an impact. Teaching is unique because we can work on a project “a student” for 180 days and the results of our labor may not be recognized until months, years or even decades later….and we may never see that impact we made. However, there are signs and signals you can be watching for to assure yourself that you are making an impact. Let’s explore some now…….

‌How to Know If You Are Making an Impact With Your Students

Do you call students by name?

We all want to feel seen.
One of the simplest ways to make people feel noticed is to use their name. We all like to hear our names. How do you greet students in the morning? Do you great them by name? How do you respond to students when they raise their hands? Are you calling students by name when they are engaging in positive ways or only when they are exhibiting negative behaviors?
If you are routinely connecting with students by using their names when you interact with them for a variety of reasons, you are already positively impacting them. They are feeling seen and heard.
Example: when teachers stand in the door ways and great students by name when they enter the classroom

Dale Carnegie said about names: “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Do you give positive feedback?

You are reading student work. You are having discussions with students both in a large group and in smaller groups or individually. You are answering student questions. These are all opportunities to give positive feedback. Even an incorrect answer can result in positive feedback.
Here’s an example, “That is not the correct answer, but I can see that you have some good thinking going on.” You have just provided positive feedback.
If you are giving students positive feedback on work, behaviors, attitudes, thought processes, or social interactions, you are making a positive impact.

Do you help students to grow?

We all have a need for growth.
Teachers are in a position to help students grow not only academically, but socially and emotionally as well.
Do you meet students where they are academically and help them get to the next level?
Do you guide students in appropriate social behaviors?
Do you encourage students to have a growth mindset?
Are you challenging students or encouraging them to try new things?
If so, you are making a positive impact.

This is where students relationships enter the picture. When you have built relationships with students you can give them feedback that is personal. Or socially, you can remind a student this is not your best self- you can rise above this.

Paula’s example: When working with kids with cognitive or behavioral disabilities, sometimes it took a lot of repetition. We practiced, repeatedly, skills and behaviors until the students were able to learn them and then we would move on to the next goal. They often knew they weren’t at the same level as their peers. They didn’t need me to tell them. They felt it. However, what I could do for them was guide them as they got closer and closer and to be their biggest cheerleader along the way. Their steps were small but each step felt like a huge leap.

Do you teach the whole student?

You were hired to teach academic content.
You have all experienced teachers in your life who taught you something other than academic content.
They recognized something in you and helped you to see it in yourself.
They gave you advice about life, not just about homework.
They opened your eyes to something you are passionate about but might never have discovered by yourself.

These teachers were teaching the whole person, not just the student. If your interactions with students sometimes move out of the academic realm and into student’s lives, you are making a positive impact.

Do you still care?

This question is focused on you and your behaviors.
We all know people who have called it in. They do the minimum to get by. They stop any extra interactions. They don’t go out of their way to do anything extra for a student or colleague. They have a negative attitude. A student failed? Not my problem. A parent called? Why should I bother to call them back? Faculty meeting? I’m not going to show up.
You don’t have to work yourself into the ground, and you don’t have to be on call 24/7.
Good teachers still care. If there is a way to help a student, they will show up for that student.

Do you still care about your students? If so, you are making a positive impact.

You make more of an impact than you may realize.

In our experience, teachers make far more of an impact than they realize. Your student may be walking away with an important life lesson. A seemingly ungrateful parent may recognize the ways you have helped their child, though they may never tell you. It is a truth in life that you may never know who or how you may have made a positive impact.

You may not know the impact you have on a student. Some will never get the chance to tell you. Some will show up years later and surprise you.

Save the evidence: Positive Notes for Days I Really Need Them

Save those notes and cards and letters, and little gifts you get. There will always be there to remind you that you make a difference.

Michele’s room is filled with little reminders from students. I’m sure people come into my room and think I have a lot of worthless clutter. In reality, it is the cat a student made for me in wood shop, the butterfly pin with my name misspelled that a student bought me with his own money, the cup that holds my colored pencils that a student gave me 20 years ago. I don’t see it as junk. I see it as impact.

We recently worked with a high school teacher that had a student mementos wall in his classroom. He hung class pictures, newspaper articles about the sports wins, student artwork, graduation party invitations…anything students gave him. He said, “that wall reminds me why I do this.”

We all need those reminders.

‌How do you know you are making a difference with your family and friends?

People come to you to seek your advice or as a shoulder to cry on- they trust you. You don’t judge and love unconditionally.
You are a good listener. You are present.
You show up, emotionally even if others don’t always show up for you. Especially true of family members who don’t have the same level of maturity or goals that you do.
You show up physically.
You go to the funerals. There is a great episode of NPR’s podcast This I Believe where a woman shares how a teacher showed up for her Mom’s funeral, when she was an adult, and that it mattered.

‌Recap: There may be times when you question if you are making an impact. While it is human nature to question ourselves, you are making more of an impact than you know. You are making an impact in the classroom through your words and actions. The same applies to your home life. Though you may never be fully aware of the impact you are making, continue to care, to teach, and to positively impact those around you. You are more powerful than you know.

‌Quotes:

“Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Dale Carnegie

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do make a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

Jane Goodall

Resources mentioned in this episode:

NPR Radio Program/Podcast This I Believe: Always Go to the Funeral

Related episodes and posts:

5 Ways to Know if You are Making an Impact – Inspired Together Teachers

Positive Notes for Days You Really Need Them

Connect with Inspired Together Teachers:

Download our FREE resource, The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/company/inspired-together-learning/

Our book: The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

The Power to Design Your Life S.2 E.19

Show notes:

Let’s explore drifting versus designing.

The other route is to design your life.

A formula to help you design your life…

Envision the life you want to live.

Here are some questions to help you find your vision:

Build support for your vision.

Here are some examples of habits that support goals:

Get support as you design your life.

Recap:

Quote:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

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Get Out of Your Head! S. 2 E.17

Listen to this episode to learn more about ways you can access three types of wisdom and go beyond your rational, analytical brain.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

What type of wisdom do you use most?

Three Types of Wisdom

Brain wisdom IQ

Heart Wisdom

Gut Wisdom

Quote:

Share this:

Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can stop using faux self-care practices and start making choices that will create real self-care and more authentic living.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Faux self-care

How do you find what real-self care looks like for you?

Learning to Set Boundaries

Treat Yourself with Compassion

Recap:

Quote:

Related episodes and blogs:

Share this:

Raise Your Standards S. 1 Ep. 15

Show notes:

Share this:

Making an Impact S. 1 E. 14

Do you ever wonder if you are making an impact on your students? How do you know? In this episode we are talking about signs and signals you can be watching for to assure yourself that what you do is making an impact.

Show Notes:

‌How to Know If You Are Making an Impact With Your Students

Do you call students by name?

Do you give positive feedback?

Do you help students to grow?

Do you teach the whole student?

Do you still care?

You make more of an impact than you may realize.

‌How do you know you are making a difference with your family and friends?

Share this:

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