Finding Optimism in Silver Linings S.3. Ep 44

Listen to this episode to discover ways to find optimism in difficult circumstances.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Have you ever been given the advice to look for the silver lining in a tough situation? Do you give that advice yourself? What does that really mean and what are the steps we should be taking to find the silver lining? Today we are discussing optimism and why looking for the silver lining can improve your work life, home life, health, and well being

In this episode:

The following is an excerpt of key points from the podcast. For the full experience, and to hear the examples and stories that help bring the ideas to life, please listen to the podcast episode.

Introduction

“Look for the silver linings” “What’s the silver lining in this situation?” “Well, at least the silver lining is that…..”

We are guessing you have heard these phrases, or some version of these phrases, many times.

How can you make the idea of silver linings something to live by, not just flippant advice?

Because it not just flippant advice. It is actually advice that can not only lengthen your life, it can improve the quality of your life.

Let’s talk about the phrase “silver lining”.

It is:

A phrase that is hundreds of years old
A metaphor comparing the shining silvery edges of a cloud backlit by the sun or moon to finding something good that comes out of a bad situation
A form of consolation- the outcome was not what you hoped but something good came about because of it.
A beacon of hope- there is a hopeful prospect in the otherwise hopeless situation.

Ultimately, it is a metaphor that sums up optimism.

It’s looking on the bright side and realizing that something good can come out of a bad situation.

We love the visual of the dark cloud with the silver lining around it telling us that there is beauty in that darkness.

When someone looks for the silver lining, it sounds something like this: “The silver lining is that even though I didn’t win the competition, I got a lot more fit in the process.”

Or, “Even though we didn’t get the funding, I met some great new friends in the grant writing process.”

Paula: What actually triggered this podcast is a conversation I was having with a young teacher the other day who was talking about a lesson that didn’t go well in the beginning of the year. She said, “The silver lining is that I learned early on what is NOT going to work with this group of students.”

Why Optimism and Silver Linings Matter

Looking for the silver linings in life can make your days more bearable.

Bad things will happen. We can choose the pessimistic route and decide that bad things happen because the world is just a bad place. We can let the negativity overpower us. There is a lot in the world that is negative and if we look for it we can surely find it. However, no one wants to be around a negative Nancy.

It also doesn’t help to have toxic positivity.

Silver Linings are in that spot in between sulking in negativity and toxic positivity.

We acknowledge that bad situations happen but there is good that can come from them. There are lessons that can be learned if we look for them. There are people we may meet or resources we might gain that we wouldn’t have otherwise had if not for that situation.

Optimism can actually be good for your health.

There are many scientific studies that show that having a positive attitude and approaching life with optimism is good for your health and can make you live longer.

According to Harvard Health, researchers have shown that people who are optimistic and have a positive outlook on life:

Have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol
Lower levels of markers that predict heart attack and stroke
Stay healthier
Enjoy independent living longer than pessimists.

Optimism appears to protect the heart and circulation AND increases our life span.

There was a US study of almost 7,000 college students who took a comprehensive personality test in the mid 1960s. The researchers followed them for 40 years. The most pessimistic individuals had a 42% higher rate of death than the most optimistic. Two Dutch studies followed, showing that the optimists were 55% less likely to die from cardiovascular disease than the pessimists, and the optimists enjoyed a 45% lower risk of death when not just narrowing it to heart disease.

To us, that sounds like a convincing reason to look for silver linings. So why doesn’t everyone do that?

Because sometimes it is really hard to find the silver lining. It is much easier, and less work, to just see the dark cloud.

Sometimes you really have to look for the positive.

Sometimes, just by the genetic make up of being a person, we can be risk averse. We are looking for things that challenge our physical or psychological safety. It is a negativity bias that helps us to stay safe and alive. It can be easy to see threatening things and to ONLY see those things.

Also, sometimes when life and work throw a lot of things our way, it is much easier to see things as hopeless instead of looking for things to be hopeful about. The hopeless things are the big dark cloud. They are easy to see without looking too hard.

Looking for the silver lining can be difficult because you are doing two things at once- acknowledging the bad AND looking for the good in it.

For example, think of the students who are the most challenging, the ones that force you to do things you’ve never done and who try your patience. These are the students who make you a better teacher. With time, you will probably recognize that those experiences ended up creating some of your most rewarding moments.

You can take steps to find the silver lining in adverse situations.

Look for the small glimmers of hope. They may not shine too brightly in the dark of the clouds but identify those slivers of light on the edges of the situation. It is likely they are peripheral to the actual situation. Look on the outside of the situation.
Make a pros and cons list. If it is tough situation there will likely be more cons, but any of the pros you find are a part of your silver lining.
Ask others to help you find the silver lining. Friends who are not as engrossed in the situation as you are can sometimes have a more distanced perspective and can see things that may not be as clear to you.
When you find yourself listing all of the negatives of a situation, step back and give yourself time and space to look at it from a different perspective. Take a few deep breaths, change your environment or put it aside until tomorrow. Come back to it later with a fresh set of eyes and you may see that silver lining you did not see the first time.

Recap:

Negative situations will happen in your work and home life. Intentionally taking time to find the silver linings can improve your work life, home life, health ,and well being. Pessimism, and choosing to see only the dark cloud is easier, but choosing optimism and finding the silver lining will benefit you now and well into the future.

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Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Would you like to decrease stress and increase happiness and joy in your life? Many teachers feel that stress often overtakes and affects their wellbeing.

According to Laurie Santos, Yale Psychology professor who studies joy and podcasts at The Happiness Lab, “We’re entitled to and capable of much more joy than we have settled for.”

Ouch. That stings! Yet it is probably true of most of us. Have we really settled for less happiness than we could have?

That begs the question, what can we do to decrease our stress and increase our happiness?

Here are 4 ways, backed by scientific studies, that you can decrease stress and increase your happiness.

Plan to reduce stress before it starts.

Psychologist and self-help author Robert Epstein found that 25% of our happiness hinges on how well we’re able to manage stress. Epstein’s study determined that best way to manage stress is planning. Planning allows “fighting stress before it even starts, planning things rather than letting them happen,” says Epstein. “That means planning your day, your year and your life so that stress is minimized.”

Where could you save yourself stress by planning? Could you plan your meals, or what you’re going to wear a week at a time? Could you write lesson plans in terms of units rather than day to day plans? Could you plan what to say at parent -teacher conferences or plan what you will say to a challenging student?

Planning may eliminate some of the stress in your life. Consider where you are experiencing stress and see if you can reduce stress by planning.

Get more sleep.

Lack of sleep can contribute to mental health problems such as anxiety, depression, mental fog—and stress. Studies show that if you improve your sleep, these problems ease up, too.

What could you give up each day in order to get one more hour of sleep?

How could you change your evening or morning routines to allow more sleep?

Spend more time outdoors.

A growing body of research suggests that spending more time in nature reduces stress, increases cognitive function and leads to better moods and less anxiety. Research shows that being outside 120 minutes a week is most beneficial. If 120 minutes seems daunting, the study also showed that the amount could be spread out across the week. For example, you could spend an hour outside on a weekend, and just ten minutes a day the other days.

You may not have time for lengthy hikes on a work day, but how could you add ten minutes a day outside in the fresh air to your day? Recess duty counts! Could you plan family outings at a playground or going for walks each day?

Give it a try, and see if it increases your sense of well-being, and as a result, your happiness.

Build and maintain quality relationships.

If may be no surprise that spending time with friends makes you happier. A long term Harvard study showed that relationships are the number one key to long-term happiness. According to the director of the study, Robert Waldinger, “The surprising finding is that our relationships and how happy we are in our relationships has a powerful influence on our health. Taking care of your body is important, but tending to your relationships is a form of self-care too. That, I think, is the revelation.”

If you’ve ever needed permission to spend more time with friends, family, colleagues or those in your community, here it is.

Teachers are busy, and spending a few minutes talking with a colleague may seem like wasting time. In reality, it may be providing you with just the pick-me-up that you need.

How could you plan to spend a few minutes each day talking with someone you care about?

Make sure that you are planning time to talk with or physically be present with someone you care about on a regularly basis.

Hopefully, one of these four ways to decrease stress and increase happiness resonates with you.

Wishing you less stress and more happiness,