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How to Deal with Parent Challenges

November 7, 2017 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

At some point, every teacher, beginning teachers and master teachers alike, will deal with parent challenges.

Parent challenges are uncomfortable and frustrating. They can make us angry and upset. We lose sleep, and even lose confidence in our competence as a teacher. Parent challenges can even make us dislike our jobs. Many teachers say that dealing with parents is their least favorite part of the job.

Parents today are often extremely involved in their children’s education and extracurricular activities. Combine this with 24/7 access to online grading programs and you have a recipe that invites extreme parental involvement. Parents can be demanding and unreasonable. On the positive side, they can also be allies, helping you with your most frustrating student issues.

What do you do when you are challenged by a parent?

Listen first.

Hear them out. What are the parents’ issues and concerns? What evidence do they present to make their case? Try to understand where they are coming from, and why they are upset. Keep an open mind. Though it may be difficult, try not to interrupt them or be defensive.

Share your perspective.

After listening carefully to the parents, it is now time to share your insight and information. Try to present your data, such as student grades or work samples, without judgement. Often times, poor work will speak for itself. If it is a behavioral issue, share specific observational or anecdotal notes, if they are written and dated all the better. Also have on hand copies of any previous parent communications and phone calls.

Discuss possible remedies for the issue.

Acknowledge that both parties want to come to a solution. Share any attempts you have already made to help the student. If you have worked closely with others such as a guidance counselor or another teacher, bring them on board for the meeting. Ask the parents for their suggestions. What would they like to happen?

Consider bringing the student into the conference.

Sometimes the story the parent gets and the story of what really happened differ. If you have a good working relationship with a student, you can ask them to explain what they think has happened and why. You can also share test scores and work with students, explaining why they received the grade they got. Ask the student what needs to happen to resolve the issue.

Know that both you and the parents have the best interest of the student at heart.

If you can frame the meeting as one in which you all want to help the student, it will likely be less antagonistic. Show them that you know their child well. Share the student’s strengths, and discuss goals you have that would help the student to succeed in the future. This lessens your role as “the bad guy” and helps to position you as a cheerleader for the student.

If parents become physically or verbally abusive or irrational, end the meeting.

Explain that the meeting cannot be productive with such strong emotions. Explain to the parents that you will end the meeting if their manner continues. Offer to reschedule at another time when an administrator can be present. Ask them to leave. If they refuse, leave and get help.

Be proactive in future dealings with parents.

Follow up a heated conversation with a progress report. Keep parents informed of any further issues, and also, of improvements. It is a good idea to keep all parents notified of student grades and activities. Write a classroom newsletter. Inform parents of major projects and tests. Update your online grading portal with regular comments. Call parents when needed- early and often. Do not surprise parents with a failing grade or an out- of -school suspension.

Learn from the challenge.

Although it is difficult when you are being challenged, try to see parents as people who can help you grow as a teacher. Where were they right, and you now realize you messed up? What did they point out that you now realize you could do differently in the future? What does this confrontation teach you about parent communications? Having a growth mindset around parental challenges will help you become a stronger teacher.

Parent challenges are inevitable, but they don’t have to be career ending. You can learn to work with parents in a way that will increase the chances of student success. The old saying says that what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. You can and will survive parental challenges, and learn to thrive despite them!

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Get Ready for Parent-Teacher Conferences

October 3, 2017 by Inspired Together Teachers 3 Comments

In many school districts, parent-teacher conferences are held in October. These conferences allow both parents and teachers to gain insight into student’s academic progress as well as a better understanding of students’ social, emotional and behavioral strengths and challenges.

Many teachers are apprehensive about conferences. Will parents be supportive or demanding? Will parents be indifferent or even show up? Will I be treated as a professional, even though I might be younger than the parents? What do I do if a parent is angry?

As veterans of hundreds of parent-teacher conferences, we have some insight and advice that might ease your fears and help you to have productive conferences.

Conferences should not be your first contact with parents. Hopefully, you have been proactive in working with parents. You may have sent a letter of introduction. You may have met parents at Open House or Back to School Night. Perhaps you have sent newsletters, made phone calls or contacted parents through your school’s online learning management or reporting system. You may have completed progress reports at mid-term. Each of these forms of communication has helped you to build a relationship with parents. Having a prior relationship helps ease the way into meeting one-on-one with parents at parent-teacher conferences.

Along those same lines, parents should not be blindsided at conferences. If there are student concerns or issues, you should contact parents before conferences. Imagine how you would feel if you thought things were going well with your son or daughter and show up at school only to find they are failing!

Take conference preparation seriously. Preparation will allow you to feel calmer and more in control. Being ready with information about each student will go a long way towards assuring parents that you are professional and competent.

Decide which points you want to emphasize with each student’s parents. Take a multidimensional view of students. In addition to academic progress, parents are interested in the student’s work habits, as well as their social, emotional and physical well- being. You see students every day and often have insight into all aspects of their lives in school. Is Derrick a natural leader? Is Mandy kind and helpful to others? Is Cade often tired and sometimes sleeps in class? This kind of information is often as important or more important than the fact that the student earned an 86% on a test.

Begin with a positive comment. Share comments that let the parents know that you know their child and have their best interests at heart. Have data, such as test scores, examples of daily work or portfolios ready to share.

Provide perspective on grades. Explain how they were derived and how they might be improved. If parents have not accessed the school’s grade reporting portal, you might show them what it looks like and remind them how they can access it.

Be sensitive and aware that different families have different values, expectations and cultural norms. You can ask parents about their expectations and goals for their child. Parents will have insights about their child that you don’t have. Listen to their comments and concerns. Conferences should be a two-way street, not a one-way presentation from the teacher.

Some districts invite student to join in or even lead conferences. If students are present, a good tactic is to invite students to explain to their parents their work and their grades. You can fill in or prompt students as necessary. If your district encourages student led conferences, work with students in class to help them practice and learn how to present and discuss their work effectively. Having students present also offers an opportunity for goal setting with the student, parent and teacher all present to understand and acknowledge the goals. It might be helpful to write the goals and have all present sign them.

Some parents are unsure about ways to help their child or feel inadequate about their parenting skills. Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. These parents often look to teachers to help them with their child’s behavior or learning needs. Share things that you are doing that work. Offer to follow up with additional resources, including referrals to guidance counselors, social workers or other support services as appropriate. Be grateful that the parent trusts you and is open to help. Teachers often do have good insight based on experiences with many students.

When discussing student struggles or concerns, be prepared with supporting examples. Be ready to discuss specific things a student could do to improve. For example, telling a parent that his son needs to work harder is not as helpful as saying that he could improve by double checking his answers on the math homework. You might also suggest resources that could help the student such as after school tutoring clubs or enrichment opportunities that the school provides.

If parents become overly aggressive or abusive, stop the conference. Explain that the conference is not productive and it will be rescheduled at a later date with an administrator, additional teacher or a guidance counselor present. Ask the parents to leave and promise to follow up to schedule another meeting.

Try to stick to the conference time schedule. At the elementary level, parents may be scheduled in fifteen- minute time slots. At the secondary level, teachers are often in a common area such as a gym where parents wait in line to see different teachers. Long conferences result in parents of other students waiting for long periods. If you need more time to talk with a parent, offer to arrange another conference at a different time.

Parent-teacher conferences should be an opportunity to work together with parents to enhance student learning. Thinking of parents as allies will allow you to be open to ways they can help you as you are helping their child. Parents and teachers have a common bond in that both want to see the student succeed.

Good luck with your parent-teacher conferences,

10 Things You Won’t Hear Excellent Teachers Say

August 2, 2017 by Inspired Together Teachers 2 Comments

Though we would like it if the world were always a positive, friendly place, sometimes it just isn’t so. We’ve heard our share of negative teacher room talk. Still, we try to do our part to stay positive and focus on how to handle challenges in a way that encourages positive change. Given that philosophy, here are ten things you won’t hear excellent teachers say:

These kids are all lazy and unmotivated.

Really? All of them? Show us a classroom where all of the students are unmotivated and we will show you a classroom that needs a reboot. Perhaps the lessons need to be more academically or developmentally appropriate. Maybe the work needs to be more active and engaging. Has the teacher built a good relationship with the students? If not, start there. Students are more likely to do good work for teachers they like and respect.

You’ll do what I say because I am the teacher and you are the student.

You might get students to comply with this statement, but compliance is not the same as learning. Compliance is at the low end of the motivation scale, with interest and engagement at the other end.

That’s not how we act. Were you raised in a barn?

You don’t know how they were raised. Making assumptions or belittling their background is not likely to teach them proper behavior.

When I want to control my class, I just give them a pop quiz.

There are two problems here- emphasizing control over learning and understanding the purposes of assessment.

Did you leave your brain at home today?

Teachers who say things like this think they are being sarcastic, but be aware that many, many students do not understand sarcasm and will just recognize this statement as an insult.

That is a stupid question.

If you want to make sure students never ask a question in your classroom, be sure to tell them that their questions are stupid.

Don’t smile until Christmas.

The sentiment behind this one is that you have to let students know who is in control and that you are not their friend. However, you can build a classroom environment where students will work and respect you and each other. You can be firm in your expectations while building a rapport with your students. We say, go ahead and smile on the first day.

She works so hard she makes the rest of us look bad.

The general public does enough teacher bashing. We don’t need to do it to ourselves. If you make this statement, you are really making a statement about how YOU work.

There are only 39 days left of school!

The problem with counting down the number of days of school is that the subtle message is “this place is so bad we can’t wait to get out of here!” In your glee, you are negating the fact that school is a positive, purposeful place for learning. While we all like our vacation, many students are safe, fed, and happy at school. Sometimes home and summer brings unknown and unsettling circumstances. If you are confronted with an end of the year countdown, consider saying things like “Only six more days until we can stay home and read all day long.”

How many years until I retire?

This is not a problem if you are actually planning your retirement. But if you are an early career teacher and you are starting to count the days and years until you retire, you might want to take a look at why you are so miserable in your job. Yes, teaching is hard work and we know that not every minute is enjoyable. The good should outweigh the bad. Good teachers generally like their work!

Here’s to positive teacher talk,

How to Impress your Principal During your First Year of Teaching

July 10, 2017 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

by Matt Wenthe, Middle School Principal, Gale-Ettrick-Trempealeau School District

Believe it or not, your new boss was once in your shoes as a new teacher when he or she began in education. And principals can still relate to feeling overwhelmed – trust me. Like a good coach, principals really want their rookies to do well and will hopefully give them the resources and advice to develop their talents.

But what are the best ways to make a great impression during the first year? As a principal, I have seen some common elements from new teachers that go on to become master teachers.

Kindness Counts

If you are on a blind date, and your date showers you with compliments but is rude to the waiter, there should be plenty of red flags. Likewise, kindness counts as a teacher and principals often know more than just how you may treat them. Everyone on staff is part of a team and should be treated as equal colleagues – the custodian, the secretary, the teacher assistants, everyone.

Show your appreciation. A note, a quick email, or a thank you go a long way. Let your colleagues know that you value their contribution to your students’ success.

Be visible in the halls and greet students by name as they enter your room. Maintain discipline, but always make sure your students know that you care about them. Maya Angelou once said, “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

Other people’s perceptions often filter their way back to the principal.

Attend Functions

It was once expected that teachers were at the majority of extra-curricular events, however, this has become less and less the norm. So when new teachers are at events, principals take note. Sometimes you can also make a little extra money working the game clock or chaperoning an event. Regardless, the kids and parents (and principals) notice that you care.

Display Great Work

When principals walk through the halls or pass through classrooms, they will note what is displayed. This is not only a great way to help promote students taking pride in their work, but also an easy way to do some great PR for your class.

Take pictures and share them with your principal for the school newsletter or web site. Frequently in education, we are too humble or modest and don’t do enough to showcase the great things taking place. Principals are always looking for good material to share with the school board and community. When you give examples, people take note.

Call Parents

There are times when email is fine, especially when you want to convey information. But when it involves emotion, a phone call is often a more effective tool for communication. This way you can have back and forth dialogue and can better communicate without emotional misperceptions.

Don’t just make the bad calls either. Parents love to hear they have raised a kid who does good things sometimes too.

And don’t be afraid to ask the parents’ advice on how a discipline problem can be addressed. Generally, parents will want to work with you and may have some insights that you may not have thought of.

Ask Questions

You are new – it’s no secret. No reasonable person expects flawlessness during your first year. Don’t be afraid to admit you don’t know something or would like to talk through a problem. As a principal, I am more concerned about the rookie teachers who act like they know it all and put up a façade of perfection.

With that said . . .

Remember that if it is important today, it will be important tomorrow.

Not every problem needs to be dealt with immediately. Take some time to process before you act.

For example, don’t respond to an upsetting email or a rude colleague’s comment when you are emotional. You can write when you are passionate, but don’t hit “send” until you have had time to process and be introspective about the big picture. And then remember the earlier advice about email being a good tool for information, but not so much for emotion.

Visit Other Rooms

You’re always going to feel busy, but giving up a prep period once or twice to become a better teacher will save you a ton of work in the long run. Ask principals what fellow teachers they would recommend to watch for ideas on some aspect you would like to improve upon (e.g. question and discussion techniques, pacing, managing classroom procedures). This shows a commitment to achieving excellence.

Know that You are Now a Professional

This isn’t just an hourly J-O-B like you may have had in the past. This isn’t an unpaid internship (a.k.a. student teaching). You are now in a career that is one of the most influential in the lives of others. And exceptional professionals in any career know that their work is not an 8:00-4:00 commitment. If you want to be more than average, if you want to impress, you need to know that there is no substitute for hard work. Principals know who puts in the time to make their classes great.

Matt Wenthe is the Middle School Principal at Gale-Ettrick-Trempealeau School District in Wisconsin. He also serves as District Assessment Coordinator, Gifted and Talented Education Coordinator and
Summer School Director.

Interview 101: What Makes you UNIQUE?

June 9, 2017 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Do you have a teaching interview planned? We have participated in hundreds of new teacher interviews. New teachers talk about their student teaching, their coursework, and how much they love being in a classroom with kids. They answer the questions, and if they are wise, they expand upon their answers with examples.

However, most new teachers forget ONE VERY IMPORTANT SELLING POINT IN AN INTERVIEW. Saying that you love students, or love teaching, is not a bad thing. But the teacher who interviewed before you probably said the same thing. You need to give the interviewers something about you that they will remember.

The interview team needs to know what makes you UNIQUE.

To determine what make you unique, we offer the following categories for self-assessment:

Awards– What awards have you won? These awards may be academic (think Dean’s List or a specific content award), work related (top counselor at camp, voted most creative day care teacher, etc), or social (any awards for involvement with a community group or organization).
Endorsements or Certifications– Don’t forget to mention any endorsements or certifications you have earned. Even if you have them listed on your resume, be sure to bring them up in the interview. Having that coaching endorsement, or that middle school endorsement, may be what is the deciding factor between you and another candidate.
Extra–curricular Activities- Did you participate in choir all four years of college? Were you a leader on the court? Did you perform on the stage? Did you make it to a national championship? Did you sit on the bench for four years and support your teammates with your enthusiasm and positive attitude? You may think your extracurricular activities are not relevant to teaching, but extracurricular involvement shows leadership, resilience, and dedication- all important skills in teaching.
Experiences– Were you an Eagle Scout? Did you study abroad for semester? Did you take a service trip that impacted your view on the world? Down assume they aren’t relevant. Your participation in these experiences shows a lot about your character and your desire to continually learn.
Opportunities– Did your teacher education program offer any unique opportunities that you took advantage of? Are there community involvement events that you always take the opportunity to volunteer for? If you have ever jumped at the opportunity to do something, it may be worth mentioning in the interview.

Once you have determined what makes you unique, be sure to write it down so you don’t forget to mention it in the interview. The opportunity to present the unique information about you may come at the beginning of the interview when they ask you to introduce yourself, it may come up during the examples, or you may have to add it at the end if not opportunities presented themselves based on questions asked of you. However, you need to find a way to make sure the interviewers know the unique qualities you will bring to the classroom and the school.

Our free guide entitled How to ACE Your Teaching Interview contains even more advice. Feel free to download it here.

Good luck with your interviews,

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by Matt Wenthe, Middle School Principal, Gale-Ettrick-Trempealeau School District

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