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Living With, Working With, and Loving Enneagram Type 7 Ep. 112

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Season 7 Epsiode 112Enneagram Type 7, woman riding in a wheelbarrow

Check out this episode to learn all about the fun loving, playful Enneagram Type 7.

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

Who do you know that routinely brings the joy into any situation? Who are your spontaneous, live in the moment friends? Who do you know that is always up for adventure and hates missing out on things?

The person you are thinking of, whether it is yourself or someone else, has the patterns of an Enneagram type 7.

Stay tuned to day to learn about the gifts and challenges of the Type 7 and get tips for how to best live with, work with, love or teach someone with Enneagram Type 7 patterns.

In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Today we’re talking about the Enneagram Type 7.  We all want and need joy and optimism in our lives and these are the ones who can bring it. We love and need the type 7s in our lives, even when they frustrate us by checking out- sometimes even when we most need them to show up.

General Cautions: 

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understand the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns. We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful. We think this is useful.

Enneagram patterns of Type 7 “The Joyful Person”  or “ The Entertainer”

As you listen to the following traits and characteristics, think of the people you know, your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of type 7 patterns:
  • Type 7s are usually happy and outgoing and full of joy and laughter.
  • These are often multitalented people. Because they have a zest for life, they are often interested in, knowledgeable about, and good at many different things.
  • Type 7s tend to be optimistic and enthusiastic. They’ll say things like, “ Where’s the party? Let’s go!”
  • 7s are driven to maintain freedom and happiness, and as a result, might ignore or discount anything involving pain or worry.
  • Of all of the types, 7s have the biggest FOMO, they never want to miss out on any worthwhile experience.
  • In their quest to experience all life has to offer, they may struggle with completing things and long term- commitments. They might be affected by shiny object syndrome or impulsiveness.

Tips and strategies for working effectively with people who exhibit Enneagram Type 7 patterns:

Patterns you may see in a student:

Think of the student who is very popular, one that most people like. He or she may be the class clown, or at least quick with funny retorts.

This is potentially a very good student, who will often jump quickly into projects or activities. They can be high achievers and great leaders when they focus and follow through with things. The down side might be that they are also quick to start something, then get distracted by something else and then declare the project “boring.”

As a teacher you see their many talents, but become frustrated when they don’t complete work. You might also notice that when something becomes very difficult for them or it isn’t going well, they may withdraw.

Example of an adult Enneagram Type 7

Your brother is smart, fun, and the life of the party. He has great ideas and is kind and generous.

Your parents have a big anniversary coming up and your brother has a great idea that all the siblings should have a party to celebrate them. The rest of the siblings agree it is a great idea.

You divide the tasks up between the siblings. Your brother volunteers to set up the tent and tables and chairs for the guests. The night before, he goes to a party with friends and doesn’t pick up the tables and chairs. Now it is the morning of the party and there is no tent and no seating. You are angry and frustrated that once again, your brother has not followed through and is so self-centered that he left you and the rest of the family hanging.

Here are some ideas for ways to engage with people who show Enneagram Type 7 patterns.

Enjoy their fun and enthusiasm. See it for the gift that it is.

Type 7s might need new ways to schedule. They need to keep track of commitments. They may need extra time or a buffer before a due date. Tools like a planner or a smart watch can be good for 7s because it can remind them of events. In the case of the brother above, his watch could remind him a day before and a few hours before the time he needed to pick up the party supplies.

Help 7s to understand the strengths and power that they have if they stay committed and engaged. Help them to reap the rewards of a job well done or a commitment kept.

7s want to feel satisfied and fulfilled. Help them see that keeping their commitment s is a way to achieve the feelings that they want to have.

7s usually won’t mean to hurt others with their actions, but when they become scattered or impulsive, others will feel hurt. Share your feelings with them. Let them know how they have caused hurt, while also letting them know that you know they didn’t mean to and that you know they will do better next time.

7s are “ head types”, which mean that they lead with their thoughts. Sevens don’t want to think about or connect with any thoughts that might be painful. When something is potentially painful, they might disconnect. They may need encouragement to know that they can live with uncomfortable or sad things.  You can offer to sit with them, or ask them about something potential negative or show them that they can experience negative emotions and be fine.

Strengths and Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:
  • Brings us joy
  • Optimistic
  • Enthusiastic
  • Spontaneous
  • Idealistic
  • Multitalented
Challenges:
  • Can be self-centered
  • Possibly self-indulgent
  • Narcissistic
  • Hyperactive or undisciplined
  • Struggles with commitment or completion
Opportunities for growth:
  • Learn to be at peace with pain or uncomfortable feelings.
  • Experience and appreciate silence and solitude.
  • Learn to take strategic action to complete tasks.
  • Learn to become more aware of others and their feelings.

Conclusion:

Enneagram Type 7s bring strengths, challenges and opportunities for growth, just as all the types do. When you learn to recognize and understand the patterns of a type 7, you will better be able to live with, work with, love and teach them.

Recap:

We all need type 7s in our lives. They bring us fun, adventure and enthusiasm. They can light up a room and their humor can lighten the rest of us. They bring energy, friendliness, and great ideas to the world.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

Living With, Working With and Loving Enneagram Type 5 Ep. 110

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Season 7 Epsiode 110
person with a white board full of ideas, Enneagram Type 5

Check out this episode to discover the patterns of Enneagram type 5!

Show notes: 

Episode Summary:

Do you ever find yourself all caught up in your head, overthinking, over researching, or over analyzing things?  You just might be an Enneagram head type. We’ve shared the Enneagram types who lead with their heart in previous episodes. Now we are going to dive into the types who lead with thinking.

We’ll start today by exploring the Enneagram type 5. Are you a type 5?  Are you friends with one?  Do you have family members or students who are type 5?  Stay tuned and let’s find out!

 In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Enneagram Type 5, often called “the wise person” or  “The Investigator” or “The Observer,” is analytical, independent, and deeply curious. They thrive on knowledge and seek to understand the world, often withdrawing into their minds to process information. Today we are going to talk about Enneagram type fives and give some ideas of how you can understand and work with your friends, family, colleagues, and students with Enneagram type 5 patterns.

General Cautions

As we have said in all of our Enneagram podcasts, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. This will help you to understand not only yourself better, but other people as well.

We always focus on looking for patterns rather than trying to specifically type someone else. Looking at behaviors and things people say gives us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful.

Patterns of  Enneagram Type Five

Think of the people you know, your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach. Who is the one who always has a book open, maybe even in bed, under the covers with a flashlight, or under the desk in the classroom?

Chances are, it is an Enneagram type 5.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of Enneagram type 5 patterns:

  • Knowledge-Seeking – 5s are always researching, reading, or absorbing new information, sometimes more than they need.
  • Independent – 5’s Prefers to work alone; they value autonomy and not being overly dependent on others.
  • Emotional Detachment – 5’s are often detached from their emotions in the moment but process them later when they are alone.
  • Control their energy-5’s can easily feel drained with too much social interaction.
  • Privacy-Oriented – Prefers a strong sense of personal space and dislikes intrusion into their inner world.
  • Deep Thinker – Enjoys abstract, intellectual, or niche subjects that others may not fully understand.

Tips and Strategies for Working Effectively with People Who Exhibit Enneagram Type 5  Patterns:

Think of the student who is quiet, highly intellectual, and an independent learner. They will thrive academically, but often have struggles with social and emotional relationships with other students.

  • As an educator, you can help fives by offering them stimulating challenges in learning. These are the kids who will read the books you recommend, or gravitate to challenging clubs where they can take a deep dive into problem solving or intellectual pursuits. They can thrive in things like STEM, robotics, academic challenge teams and other educational clubs. They can also excel in music or other subjects where they can research and then get better at something.
  • Type fives don’t need a lot of friends and often are overwhelmed by them. They can benefit from a small group of close friends. Help them to find other students who have deep interests and a love of learning.
  • On the opposite spectrum, fives can also benefit from a highly social friend who accepts them and helps them engage in social opportunities.

You can also enhance your relationship with Enneagram type 5 adults.

You may have a colleague that seems a bit aloof. They may not share thoughts or ideas and they stick to themselves. You wonder if they are antisocial or if they just don’t like you!

  • Respect their need for space and independence. Don’t take their distance personally, Type 5s need time alone to recharge. If they withdraw, it’s not a sign of rejection.
  • Give them time to process things. Fives prefer to think before responding, especially in conversations or decision-making. They want time to prepare.
  • Avoid pressuring them to socialize. Instead, invite them to small, meaningful gatherings rather than large, energy-draining events.
  • Give them opportunities to share their expertise- fives know a lot!
  • Don’t expect them to share their emotions publicly. You can encourage them to share when they are comfortable doing so.
  • Encourage balance between thinking & doing. 5s sometimes research endlessly instead of taking action.

Strengths, Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:

  • Insightful – They can see connections and insights that others miss.
  • Self-Sufficient – 5s don’t need external validation and can work independently.
  • Deep Focus & Expertise –5s like to master things.
  • Objective & Rational – 5s makes decisions based on logic rather than emotions.
  • Great Problem-Solver – They excel at breaking down complex issues and finding innovative solutions.
  • Calm Under Pressure – 5s tends to remain composed even in emotionally charged situations.
  • Visionary- they can see the big picture and see what could be

 Challenges:

  • Social Withdrawal –5s may isolate themselves too much, leading to loneliness.
  • Difficulty Expressing Emotions – 5s can struggle to open up or connect on a deep emotional level.
  • Overanalyzing Everything – 5s can get stuck in analysis paralysis and avoid taking action.
  • Fear of Incompetence – They may hesitant to step into situations where they don’t feel fully knowledgeable.
  • Boundary Issues – 5s can be overly protective of their time and space, making collaboration difficult.

Opportunities for growth:

Fives often need to learn to balance their intellectual learning and private space with social interaction.

Conclusion:

Type fives offer much needed wisdom and insight. They are independent and will contribute when they have time to think and process ideas. They will become valued, even life- long friends if you give them space and don’t drain them with too much interaction or micromanaging.

Recap:

Enneagram type fives are great learners and thinkers. They thrive on knowledge, but can become emotionally and socially overwhelmed. You will work well with type fives when you understand and accept them for who they are.

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll share inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. Like many good teachers, they have struggled to balance it all without becoming overwhelmed and exhausted. They’ve made it their mission to find strategies and tools that help them to stay passionate, and to work with confidence and joy, while bringing their best to their work and life.

They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

 

Living with, Working With, and Loving Enneagram Type 3 Ep. 108

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Season 7 Episode 108

Eneagram type 8, women working on vacation

Check out this episode to understand the patterns of Enneagram Type 3 and how to best to work with, love or teach them. 

Show Notes: 

Episode Summary:

Looking for motivation? Want to learn from someone successful and driven? Want to be more efficient and organized? The Enneagram Type 3s in our lives are perfect examples of productivity and we can learn a lot from them.

The Enneagram is a tool for understanding patterns of behavior in ourselves and others. In the 9 types of people identified in the Enneagram, the Type 3s are the successful, productive and motivational people in our lives. They can also be some of the most competitive people we know.

Today, as certified Enneagram trainers, we are sharing ways we have learned that can help us all best love, live with, work with and teach others who are Enneagram Type 3’s. As a result of learning about this Enneagram type you will see improvements in your communications and relationships with the Type Threes in your life.

In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points.  For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Why do we love the tool of the Enneagram? Oh, let us count the ways.  (lol)

We won’t take time in this episode to tell you all the reasons we love the Enneagram as we have done that in other episodes, but we will tell you that the Enneagram as a free and insightful tool provides us with a lens that helps us to understand the patterns of behaviors in ourselves and others.  The Enneagram helps us to see what motivates ourselves and others and we can also learn ways to best work with and live with the people in our lives who are not the same Enneagram type that we personally are. Using the Enneagram, people are categorized into 1 of 9 types based on their motivations and behaviors. Today we are specifically talking about Enneagram Type 3s – how to live with them, befriend them, stay friends with them, teach them, love them and best interact with them on a daily basis.

The Enneagram Type 3s in our lives and our classrooms are those achievers, the motivators, the competitors. Making things happen is second nature for them. They make great teammates and friends but their quick work and eye on efficiency can be challenging at times. Today, we will explore this more.

A few words of caution before we dig into learning about Enneagram Type 3s:

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understanding the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns.  We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful.

 Patterns of  Enneagram Type 3:

Think of the people you know- your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of type 3 patterns:

  • They are the “go-getters” in your life and classroom. They are goal oriented and probably already have a detailed plan to get to the goal before the others around them have even had time to process the goal.
  • They are the “producers” the “networkers” the “do-ers”.
  • They are likely the most efficient member of your team. They give the motivational speeches in your family that convince everyone to join together to raise more funds for the charity than any other family in town. They are the kids on the playground organizing the competitive game of dodgeball and then they will make sure they are on the winning team.
  • They are the friends driving the flashy sports cars and carrying the designer handbags or wearing the clothes that reflect status. They like to be seen and they like people to know they are successful.
  • People fall into 3 centers in the Enneagram- the Head, the Heart and the Gut type. Of those centers, the Type 3 falls into the “heart type” and tend to listen to their hearts more than their head or bodies.
  • They will not waste time, will struggle with “wait and see” and can be intolerant of others who are unable or unwilling to move at the fast pace them have set for themselves and the rest of the group.
  • The type 3s in our lives have a clear picture of the goal and have a plan to reach it in the most efficient way possible.

 Let’s Consider this example of an Enneagram Type Three who could work in a school:

Let’s say you just got a new principal in your school this year. She is high-energy and high-excitement. She has implemented monthly “staff pep-rallys” for the teachers to boost spirits and has high hopes to not only have the highest reading scores in the district this year, but she also wants to have the highest staff morale of any school in the district.

When she passes students and teachers in the hall, she is often heard saying, “Who’s the best school in town? We are! Make it a great day.” You are torn between feeling highly-motivated and extremely overwhelmed. You get the strong impression that she is determined to be the best school in the district and will not have any tolerance for people who are not on the same page as she is on.

The Enneagram Type 3 at home: 

Maybe the Type 3 in your family is your cousin who organizes the family softball tournament each year. She takes care of all of the scheduling and organizing. When you offered to help set up the teams this year she told you she had already done that the day the RSVPs were due and that while your cousin Ed is a nice guy, she considered asking him not to play this year as he lack of athleticism is bringing the family average score down significantly. If Ed didn’t play, we just might beat the Jones family this year!

The child with Enneagram Type 3 patterns:

You probably are already thinking about what a type three child looks like in the classroom. These are the kids with the perfectly organized desks so they can grab their pencil faster than anyone else to get right to work once it is assigned. They are some of the hardest workers in the class, but their words can hurt when they are put in a group with others who are not as driven as they are. Three’s can struggle with group work.

 Tips and strategies for working effectively with people who exhibit Enneagram Type 3 patterns:

  • First, and foremost remember that they, as Threes, are likely not driven by the same things you are. What motivates you, may not motivate them.
  • In your interactions, both positive and tough interactions with a Type threes, remember and consider what it is that is motivating them and driving their behaviors. They want to achieve so that they will get recognition, or love. This will help you to better understand their actions. Here are the typical motivators of a Type Three:
    • They want to appear wonderful and accomplished
    • They like to win and will avoid failure
    • Getting the job done and done well is how they find fulfillment
    • Their value comes from doing, not from being
    • Their basic, deep-down fear, is of being worthless.
  • Determine their strengths and hidden potential. Find ways to incorporate these more in your relationship.
  • Consider how you can address potentially negative patterns in a positive way.
  • Type Threes build much of their identity from what they do and achieve. Be sure to notice their accomplishments and tell them that you noticed.
  • Threes can become preoccupied about the future and reaching the end goal. When they miss things you say, or may not be listening to your suggestions, it is likely because they have already moved on to thinking about what is next. Work with them to bring them back to the present so you can work forward together.

 Strengths and Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:

  • Highly successful
  • Productive
  • Capable and Accomplished
  • Organized and complete tasks they start
  • Motivational leaders
  • They get things done!
  • Competent and capable
  • They are generally self-assured and are good networkers
  • Hard workers

 Challenges:

  • Get irritated by people who slow down the process
  • Have little tolerance for people they perceive to be incompetent
  • Under pressure they can cut corners or push others to move too fast
  • Can become workaholics
  • Can become overly-competitive and want to appear as “the best”
  • Can become overly-anxious worrying about what others think of them.
  • Threes can be shallow, doing things just to be seen and noticed, they get their recognition and love from doing things, and sometimes will do just the things that get noticed

 Opportunities for growth in your relationships with Threes:

  • Help remind them to live in the moment- that life isn’t just a list of boxes to check off or tasks to complete, to stop and smell the roses every once in awhile.
  • Give them roles where their strengths can be appreciated and their challenges reduced. For example, if you need a classroom organizer, they are your students. Or if you need someone to hype up your teaching team during a rough patch, let them give the pep talks. Let them lead the group of teachers excited about a new initiative but if at all possible, avoid putting them in charge of the group that likes to talk things out awhile before making decisions.
  • Consider what you have learned about Type Threes and capitalize on the strengths of the threes in their work and life. Help them to do the same for themselves. Help them to see the times when their competition and drive work in their favor and when it can make them unapproachable or unappreciated by others.

Conclusion:

People who are Enneagram Type 3 are wonderful assets to our lives. They get things done, they motivate us, and we can share in their success when we live and work alongside them. They may view and show up in the world in a very different way than you do but by recognizing their strengths and challenges and understanding strategies to best live with, love, work with and teach them, you can make everyone’s lives easier and achieve more together.

Recap:

Today we explored how to best understand and communicate with Type Threes in your home, your friend group, your school and your classroom. Having this understanding will make the interactions with Threes in your life easier and more pleasant.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

Living With, Working with and Loving Enneagram Type 2 Ep. 107

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Season 7 Episode 107Enneagram type 2, young girl holding a heart

Listen to this episode to better understand and work with Enneagram Type 2. 

Show Notes:  

Episode Summary:

We LOVE the Enneagram as a tool because it helps us to better understand ourselves and others. In previous podcast episodes we have focused on how we can best understand ourselves using the tool of the Enneagram but today we are sharing ways we can best love, live with, work with and teach others who are Enneagram Type 2s.

We guarantee that you have a few Type 2s in your life and in the next 2o minutes or so we are going to share ways you can best love, work with and teach them. You will be glad you listened, and they will be too, because as a result of learning about their Enneagram type your communications will improve and your misunderstandings will dramatically decrease. Let’s get started…

In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode.  On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points.  For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

We are both certified Enneagram trainers and we love to talk about this amazing tools that helps us to best understand ourselves and others. We have long held the belief that all teachers can benefit from this free and useful tool.

We all have our own Enneagram types, one of 9 types identified and explored through the Enneagram. Each Enneagram type has its own patterns of behavior, its own motivations and its own ways of being in the world.

Let’s say you are an Enneagram Type 8. You see the world and respond to your surroundings through the patterns and lenses of a Type 8. However, the odds of you being surrounded by Eights and only Eights is nearly impossible. Likely, you encounter all nine Enneagram types each day, maybe even before lunch. Each Enneagram number thinks and acts differently.

Today we are going to explore how to best understand and communicate with those Type Twos in your home, your friend group, your school and your classroom. Having this understanding will make the interactions with Twos in your live easier and more pleasant.

We have our own in house type 2, Paula is an Enneagram type 2.

 A few words of caution before we dig into learning about Enneagram Type 2:

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understand the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns. We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful.

Patterns of  Enneagram Type 2

Think of the people you know- your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of type 2 patterns:

  • Twos fall into the “heart type”.
  • Twos are often the “givers” in the room.
  • They are empathetic, sometimes to the point that it gets in the way of relationships.
  • They often “follow their hearts” or think from a heart-centered approach.
  • Twos are compassionate, offer help, fix things, and may offer unsolicited advice
  • Twos often feel like their life’s work is to help and support others, even at the expense of their own needs.
  • They can be loving and generous, sometimes to a fault.
  • They are helpful but may be overly people pleasing or use that helpfulness to manipulate others.
  • Twos may be described, or describe themselves, as clingy or martyr-like.
  • Twos fear rejection, lack of appreciation and being unloved.

 Let’s Consider this example of an Enneagram Type 2 who could work in a school:

Let’s say you have a wonderful paraprofessional working in your classroom named Mrs. Smith. She LOVES the kids and makes sure they all know how much she appreciates them. The students love Mrs. Smith back. She is always smiling with them and noticing all of the great work they do.

However, sometimes she helps a little too much. When she is working with a student and they get stuck on a problem, if they start to appear stressed, she gives them the answers so they are happy again. You see the negative impacts this can have on student learning.

You know you need to talk with her about this but you are worried that if you say something she is going to take offense since she believes her helping is what the students need. She also always goes above and beyond to make sure every teacher and para on the team is recognized, giving them lots of compliments and little gifts.

However, lately you have noticed that she gives to others to the degree that you are worried she is going to burn out before the year is over. Does Mrs. Smith sound like someone you work with?

You probably are already thinking about what a Type Two child looks like in the classroom. They always want to be the “teacher’s helper”, offer to assist the substitute, volunteer to walk the kid with the bloody knee to the nurse’s office, etc.

Type Two students are fairly easy to identify in a classroom as they are often trying to help make your life easier as a teacher. However, they may have needs that you have not yet considered. You may wonder why they are so clingy or sometimes seem to manipulate their peers with kindness. Or you may be wondering how to show your appreciation for all they do. Learning tips and strategies for interacting with a Type Two is crucial is building and maintaining relationships with them.

 Tips and Strategies for Working Effectively with people who exhibit Enneagram Type 2 patterns:

  • First, and foremost remember that they, as Twos, are likely not driven by the same things you are. What motivates you, may not motivate them.
  • In your interactions, both positive and tough interactions with a Type Two, remember and consider what it is that is motivating them and driving their behaviors. This will help you to better understand their actions. Here are the typical motivators of a Type Two:
    • To be loved
    • To be able to express their love for others
    • To be needed
    • To be appreciated
    • To have others notice them and validate all that they are doing for others.
  • Determine their strengths and hidden potential. Find ways to incorporate these more in your relationship.
  • Consider what you have learned about Type Twos and capitalize on the strengths of the twos in their work and life. Help them to do the same for themselves.
  • Consider how you can address potentially negative patterns in a positive way.

Strengths and Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:

  • Nurturing
  • Caring
  • Warm
  • Generous
  • Empathetic
  • Enthusiastic
  • Loving
  • Compassionate
  • Helpful

 Challenges:

  • Preoccupied with gaining approval
  • Clingy
  • Martyr-like
  • Manipulative
  • Indirect
  • Prideful
  • Give so much to others that they don’t take care of themselves

 Opportunities for growth in your relationships with Enneagram Type 2: 

  • Help them to learn to care for themselves like they do for others, so they don’t burn out or feel unappreciated.
  • Help them to set boundaries as to how much is too much of helping others. Encourage them that it is okay to say “No” to you and to others to maintain their physical and emotional health. Notice when they do set boundaries and celebrate with them.
  • Give them roles where their strengths can be appreciated and their challenges reduced.
  • When you notice they are displaying some of the challenging patterns of a Type Two, be gently honest.
  • Show them that you notice and appreciate all that they do. Even a “thank you,” a card or a hug can go a long way with a Type Two.
  • Notice what they need, as they are not likely to tell you. Encourage them to listen to their own hearts, head and bodies to notice what they need and then to express it to you or others.
  • Be mindful not to take advantage of their generosity. Make sure they are not always the “giver.”

 Conclusion:

People who are Enneagram Type Twos are wonderful assets to our lives. They love hard, are helpful, empathetic and are natural nurturers. They want to show their love for others and fear not being loved in return. They may view and show up in the world in a very different way than you do but by recognizing their strengths and challenges and understanding strategies to best live with, love, work with and teach them, you can make everyone’s lives easier.

Recap:

Today we explored how to best understand and communicate with Type Twos in your home, your friend group, your school and your classroom. Having this understanding will make the interactions with Twos in your life easier and more pleasant.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

Living with, Working With and Loving Enneagram Type 1 Ep. 106

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Season 7 Episode 106

Listen to this episode to understand the patterns and behaviors of Ennegram Type 1. 

 Show Notes: 

Episode Summary:

There is a lot of interest in the Enneagram, and we find it a useful tool for helping us to understand ourselves and our behaviors and why we do things and also to help us understand how to work well with others including our families, friends, colleagues, and yes, even students!

Understanding the Enneagram gives us a different world view. As Brene Brown said, the “Enneagram can change how your see yourself and the people around you”  and that has been eye opening and even life-changing.

In this episode we’ll dig into the traits and patterns of Enneagram Type 1. Stay tuned to find out if you are a type one, or if you love, work with or teach someone with the patterns of a type one.

In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

In this episode, we’re going to start digging into the Enneagram in a deeper way. There is a lot of shallow understanding and even misinformation about the Enneagram. We also find that while finding your type is a fun activity and people love to know their type, all of that information is not helpful if you are not applying it in some way.

We have a five episode series that will give you basic information on the Enneagram, and the Enneagram types. You can find that in episodes 101-105. If you haven’t done any Enneagram work, those episodes will be helpful.

In this episode and in the following series, we are going to break down the types, looking into the traits and patterns of each type. We’ll also give specific examples for how you might work with people, including students, who exhibit those characteristics. We’ll also talk about the strengths and challenges and paths to personal growth.

 General Cautions:  

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understand the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people we  know, love, or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns.  We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful.

So let’s get started with Enneagram Type 1.

Enneagram Traits and Patterns of  Enneagram Type 1

Enneagram Type 1, is often called  “The Good Person” or “The Reformer” or “The Perfectionist”. Type 1s are known for their strong sense of integrity, high standards, and desire to improve themselves and the world.

Type 1s seek a perfect world and so they work diligently on themselves and everyone around them.

Think of the people you know, your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach who might be working towards that perfect world.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of Enneagram type 1 patterns:

  • High Standards – Expect excellence from themselves and others.
  • Strong Inner Critic – Constantly evaluates their own actions and can be self-critical.
  • Discipline & Responsibility – Hardworking, conscientious, and reliable.
  • Black-and-White Thinking – Views things in terms of right vs. wrong, good vs. bad.
  • Rule-Following – Values structure, order, and ethics.
  • Represses Anger – Bottles up frustration, which can eventually explode.
  • Logical & Principled – Holds strong convictions and adheres to their moral code.
  • Perfectionist Tendencies – Struggles with never feeling “good enough.”

Tips and strategies for working effectively with people who exhibit Enneagram Type 1 patterns:

Example 1 : The Teacher Pleaser

The teacher pleaser constantly asks for feedback that they are doing good work and that they are doing it correctly. This reminds me of the character Summer in the movie School of Rock, who was little Miss Perfectionist. She had very high standards.

  • Remind them that they know what is good and what is right and that you trust them.
  • Find ways to give them responsibility so they can have a chance to shine and to perform well
  • Type 1’s like order and consistency. They like to know exactly what is expected of them. It is helpful to offer them tools such as planners, planning sheets, and calendars.
  • Be clear about deadlines and due dates. The more specific you are, the more comfortable they will feel.
  • Make expectations clear and write them on the board.
  • Teach them to be their own source of praise and recognition. Rather than endlessly praising, task them how they think they did.

For example, when Summer asks for positive reinforcement, respond with  “Well, Summer, how do you think you did on that science project?”  Then validate the experience by saying something like, “Of course you worked hard and did well. You know that about yourself. Give yourself a pat on the back!” You are then teaching her to give herself that pat on the back, and to learn to recognize herself and know that she is doing well.

  • Do not demand perfection or become overly harsh with errors. This is devasting to type ones, and may cause them to refuse to take any sort of risk so as to not do something imperfectly.

These types of responses gives type ones the clarification they want and need and the freedom to carry on with their work in a positive fashion.

Example 2: The Controlling Person. 

Here is a typical situation. Your husband is a type one with controlling tendencies. He has a lot of great qualities, he works hard, does a great job and is well respected. Lately he and your teenage son, Jack,  have been fighting. Though they used to get along well, Hubby demands that Jack do everything the way he wants it done and on his timeline. They recently had a screaming fight because Jack mowed the lawn with vertical rows rather than the horizontal rows that his father wanted.

Hubby also complains about Jack’s clothes, his messy room, and his video game playing. Jack is a good kid and does well in school and is generally compliant, but he has started to push back. They argue and fight all the time. It’s gotten so bad that Jack is refusing to do things and sometimes he won’t even come out of his room.

Suggestions for dealing with this type of pattern:

  • One’s can get lost in the details. Ask what the big picture goals are.
  • Encourage them to be open to finding other ways of doing things, often there is more than one “right way.” Your “right way” is right for you, but not be right for someone else.
  • Remind them that demanding compliance does not gain respect or cause the other person to have intrinsic motivation. This is especially applicable for children, spouses, coworkers and people you may manage.
  • Build understanding that perfection is not always the goal.
  • Type ones often need to be reminded that they can trust others to get things done. They can’t always manage everything and everyone. They will be able to relax more if they can learn to trust others.

 Strengths and Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:

Self-disciplined

Self-motivated

Organized and efficient

Get things done and done well

 Challenges:

Judging or trying to control others

Seeing their way of doing things as the only way or the best way and not being open to other ways of doing things

Feeling irritation or anger that others do not follow the same high standards

 Opportunities for growth:

Learn to recognize and quiet the inner critic.

Embrace flexibility and accept imperfections.

Allow themselves to relax and enjoy life without guilt.

Acknowledge and express built up anger in healthy ways.

Recognize that multiple perspectives can be valid, not just one “right” way.

 Conclusion:

We’re fortunate to have ones in our lives. They connect remind us of what is right and good. The provide role models for hard work, and doing things well. Ones are people of high integrity, and we appreciate them in our world.

Recap:

Type 1’s bring us goodness and wisdom. They are the go to people when we need something done and want it done right. They have integrity and remind us of what is right and just. They are often hard on themselves and can use some gentle guidance that perfectionism is not the goal. They may also need reminders that trying to control everyone and everything is not helpful.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

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