Change is Hard. Make It Easier. Prepare Yourself. Ep. 52

February 21, 2024 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Change is Hard. Make It Easier. Prepare Yourself. S.4 E.52

Check out this episode to learn ways to prepare yourself for change so that you can lessen frustration and make life easier.

Show Notes:

In this episode:

Do you struggle with change? If so, you’re not alone. Change is inevitable. Change can be good or bad, but even good change can cause us stress. How we react to change impacts our overall life and happiness. There are simple and specific solutions to this struggle. In this special four part series, we explore ways we can prepare ourselves for change, create habits and mindsets to overcome change, decide which changes are worth fighting and finally we will explore how to embrace change.

Change is coming, as much as we may want to ignore or avoid it, so we are kicking off this important series today by exploring how we can best prepare ourselves for life and work changes that are surely coming our way.

Introduction:

Imagine you are outside on a beautiful day, the weather is gorgeous and you are preparing to spend time outside with a picnic, or playing with your kids or enjoying a good book.

All of a sudden you can see and feel a storm coming. The warning signs are there- the sky is turning dark, you check your phone and the weather man tells you it is coming, and to seek shelter. What do you do?

Do you completely ignore the storm and pretend it is not coming? Do you avoid it and pull the curtains shut hoping you can wait to face it the next day? Of course not, you prepare. You think about what is best for you and your loved ones and you take action.

Change is a very similar to the storm. It is coming. Typically, though not always, there are signs to tell you that it is coming. Also, like the storm, no matter what your response is, the change is likely still going to happen. In order to protect your physical and mental health, it is important to have everything in place for change, just as you would to prepare for a storm.

It is important to stop here and note that in the storm example, change isn’t really a welcomed thing. It is messing up our carefully thought out plans and causing us distress. However, sometimes change can come in the form of a good thing, like a new baby or a new house, but even that change can be stressful and overwhelming.

New babies, can sometimes we be as loud as thunder and keep you awake in the middle of the night just like a storm. 😂

Even positive change can throw us off course.

When we have expectations for how something is going to go and it doesn’t work out the way we thought, we are disappointed. It throws us off. It’s unsettling.

Let’s go back to the storm example for a second. What do you do when the sky is black, the sirens are going off and the storm is coming closer by the second?

make sure your basic needs are met (take water and blanket with you)
you may have a habit of what you grab to take with you (flashlight, phone charger, pets, etc.)
make sure your loved ones are ok
wait in a safe place for the storm to occur
mentally prepare yourself for what you might find when you come out of the shelter

We are betting you DON’T go out and yell at the storm to stop, put your foot down and refuse to comply, or close your eyes and keep them closed while you pretend it isn’t happening.

Then, after the storm is over, you probably step back to assess if there is any damage. Let’s say there is roof damage or damage to your property, what do you do? Do you then close the curtains and ignore it forever, yell as the storm, or avoid going in your house ever again? Of course not. Instead, you accept it, call the insurance company, and call the roofers. You may even embrace that when all of this is done, you will have a new roof.

What does this all have to do with change?

We all struggle with change, it is human nature and some people struggle more than others do. You may even struggle with a change you are looking forward to but you get overwhelmed with the implementation.

However, in this series, we will challenge you to identify and work through steps similar to those you would take before, during and after a storm and use of those same steps as guidelines to overcome change.

This leads to our 4 part series, Change is hard; make it easier.

In today’s episode, we start at the beginning. The “before the storm but when you can see it coming” stage.

We will tackle what you can do when you anticipate change is coming and the steps you can take to prepare for it. Just like grabbing all of your supplies and finding shelter from the storm, you can prepare for change in a way that will lessen, or potentially even help you alleviate, any potential negative impacts when the change actually comes.

Identify if it is an “A” level change or a “B” level change. Don’t let “A” level change take on the strength of “B” level change.

There are two different types of change- “A” and “B”.

“A” level changes are the big changes- marriage, divorce, birth, death, new job, new house, new town, or being dismissed from your job.

“B” level changes might be a new co-worker, new friend in your circle, a new neighbor, being moved to a different grade level or a new team, or being given a new student in the middle of a school year.

Sometimes, in the absence of “A” level changes, “B” level changes can take on the strength of “A” level changes.

Has that ever happened to you?

It’s all about perspective. For example, moving to a new school location shouldn’t be a major life event. Yet you may fear the change, and build it up in your mind until it becomes a major event. What was a “B” level change has become an “A” level change, causing much unnecessary stress.

This idea of A and B level changes also applies to perfectionism. Some people think everything is an “A” level and requires “A” level perfection. Somethings are “B” level and deserve “B” level attention. Some things are even “C” level and deserve very average attention.

We can have a lot of anxiety over the wrong things. An argument with another teacher is not the end of the world, nor is it deserving of weeks full of sleepless nights. It is a “B” level situation and deserves “B” level attention.

When you feel like something is an “A” problem, step back and ask if it really is an “A” level problem. Take a deep breath, and look over your shoulder. Is there a life-threatening animal or event behind you? Lion? Dinosaur? No. Good. Now do the other shoulder. Then look up, down, etc. Take a deep breath each time. It will calm you down and make you think more rationally.

Another idea is to ask yourself, how much will this will matter in one year, or five years or ten years. If the answer is not much, you are probably overreacting and that causes stress.

We challenge you, the next time you see a change coming, to decide if you should prepare for an “A” level change or if you are okay preparing for a “B” level change.

Bringing it back to the storm analogy- don’t spend the time and energy preparing for the “tornadoes” when you really only need to prepare you and your loved ones for the “mild thunderstorm.”

Identify the change for what it is (real and coming) and plan accordingly.

How do you typically react when you see or feel that change is on the horizon?

Do you tell yourself to just “deal with it until it blows over?” All too often, we see change as temporary so we just decide to temporarily “deal with it” but most of the time it is not temporary. Change usually stays for awhile until another change arrives.

Or maybe you are just in denial and pretend it isn’t happening. This is like little kids playing peek a boo and thinking no one can see them if their eyes are closed. It is easy to do the same thing with change. If I don’t talk about it, or look at it closely, maybe it will go away.

However, when we are pretending the change is temporary or are in denial, we are only putting off the inevitable and causing ourselves more unneeded stress in the process. We do ourselves and everyone around us a favor when we acknowledge the change that is coming, accept it as real and then make plans to deal with it.

The longer you wait, the harder it can become to prepare for that upcoming change.

Another way of preparing for change is to accept the change is coming and adjust accordingly.

In an article from Psychology Today, Dr. Stephanie Sarkis suggests you step outside of the situation and say to yourself, “Things are changing, and it’s okay”.

That is definitely preparing yourself. Saying something out loud can help to make it real and help you put your preemptive thoughts and actions in order. “Thinks are changing, and it’s okay”.

Another suggestion, this one from Dan Miller, is useful for when things might be changing in a way that seems to be difficult or negative is to ask yourself, “What does this make possible?”. It is like the old saying when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Acknowledging what is happening can be so much less stressful than putting things off or pretending things aren’t changing.

You can also prepare for change by becoming the initiator of change.

Some people like change and see it as generally positive. By being the one to initiate change, you keep the power.

Even if you are the one who wants the change and is leading the charge, there are struggles that come with that role. You need to recognize peoples’ fears, reassure them, and give them to the tools to navigate the change.

Often when there is a change, people are fearful because they don’t know how to address the things that are changing. They need support and education. Those are things you can prepare for ahead of time. If you are leading the change, you need to be prepared to support those who are involved.

For example, when there is a new curriculum and the district expects it to be implemented fully immediately, teachers often struggle. They need time to learn the new curriculum, to write lesson plans and to access the new materials.

If you can anticipate the needs, you can prepare people to meet those needs.

What skills or strategies can you apply to the upcoming change?

A final suggestion for preparing yourself for change is to examine the ways you deal with discomfort in your life in general.

If you are wondering how you can best prepare for upcoming changes, examine the different ways you deal with discomfort in your life. What works for you? What kinds of things help you cope with stress in general?

Consider what you do when a friend lets you down, when your feelings are hurt, or when you don’t get that job you wanted. Think about what you do when you have physical discomfort. Maybe you “walk it off” by taking a walk or getting a massage. Maybe you talk through your hopes and dreams and fears with a friend over a cup of coffee.

Write down the ways you deal best with discomfort and then pull that list out the next time you are feeling unsettled by change. You will be surprised by how the ways you already deal with discomfort will work when you are preparing for upcoming change. Maybe you talk through your hopes and fears with a friend over a cup of coffee. Perhaps you deal with difficult circumstances by writing about it. Writing often helps people figure out what they really think. It is a way of accessing your inner wisdom.

When we see change coming, it can be tempting to put your foot down and resist, or lay your head down and do your best to ignore the change. You might also choose to accept the change or even lead the change. But change IS happening so preparing ourselves for when it happens is an important first step for our physical and mental health.

Make sure to tune in to our next 3 episodes for the other 3 stages in overcoming our struggles with change.

Recap:

It is not a question about whether or not change is coming, it is. The question is, “How will you prepare yourself for it?”. In this episode, we have explored ways you can identify whether the change is “A” level or “B” level and act accordingly. We’ve looked at ways to acknowledge that the change is coming and then take strategies you already have for dealing with discomfort and apply them to change. You might also initiate change, and if so, you need to be prepared to support others through the change. Just like preparing for an impending storm helps you once the storm hits, preparing for change sets you on the right track to lessening or avoiding the struggle of change when that inevitable change occurs.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

10 Ways to Cope With Big Changes | Psychology Today

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Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Finding Optimism in Silver Linings Ep. 44

December 27, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Finding Optimism in Silver Linings S.3. Ep 44

Listen to this episode to discover ways to find optimism in difficult circumstances.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Have you ever been given the advice to look for the silver lining in a tough situation? Do you give that advice yourself? What does that really mean and what are the steps we should be taking to find the silver lining? Today we are discussing optimism and why looking for the silver lining can improve your work life, home life, health, and well being

In this episode:

The following is an excerpt of key points from the podcast. For the full experience, and to hear the examples and stories that help bring the ideas to life, please listen to the podcast episode.

Introduction

“Look for the silver linings” “What’s the silver lining in this situation?” “Well, at least the silver lining is that…..”

We are guessing you have heard these phrases, or some version of these phrases, many times.

How can you make the idea of silver linings something to live by, not just flippant advice?

Because it not just flippant advice. It is actually advice that can not only lengthen your life, it can improve the quality of your life.

Let’s talk about the phrase “silver lining”.

It is:

A phrase that is hundreds of years old
A metaphor comparing the shining silvery edges of a cloud backlit by the sun or moon to finding something good that comes out of a bad situation
A form of consolation- the outcome was not what you hoped but something good came about because of it.
A beacon of hope- there is a hopeful prospect in the otherwise hopeless situation.

Ultimately, it is a metaphor that sums up optimism.

It’s looking on the bright side and realizing that something good can come out of a bad situation.

We love the visual of the dark cloud with the silver lining around it telling us that there is beauty in that darkness.

When someone looks for the silver lining, it sounds something like this: “The silver lining is that even though I didn’t win the competition, I got a lot more fit in the process.”

Or, “Even though we didn’t get the funding, I met some great new friends in the grant writing process.”

Paula: What actually triggered this podcast is a conversation I was having with a young teacher the other day who was talking about a lesson that didn’t go well in the beginning of the year. She said, “The silver lining is that I learned early on what is NOT going to work with this group of students.”

Why Optimism and Silver Linings Matter

Looking for the silver linings in life can make your days more bearable.

Bad things will happen. We can choose the pessimistic route and decide that bad things happen because the world is just a bad place. We can let the negativity overpower us. There is a lot in the world that is negative and if we look for it we can surely find it. However, no one wants to be around a negative Nancy.

It also doesn’t help to have toxic positivity.

Silver Linings are in that spot in between sulking in negativity and toxic positivity.

We acknowledge that bad situations happen but there is good that can come from them. There are lessons that can be learned if we look for them. There are people we may meet or resources we might gain that we wouldn’t have otherwise had if not for that situation.

Optimism can actually be good for your health.

There are many scientific studies that show that having a positive attitude and approaching life with optimism is good for your health and can make you live longer.

According to Harvard Health, researchers have shown that people who are optimistic and have a positive outlook on life:

Have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol
Lower levels of markers that predict heart attack and stroke
Stay healthier
Enjoy independent living longer than pessimists.

Optimism appears to protect the heart and circulation AND increases our life span.

There was a US study of almost 7,000 college students who took a comprehensive personality test in the mid 1960s. The researchers followed them for 40 years. The most pessimistic individuals had a 42% higher rate of death than the most optimistic. Two Dutch studies followed, showing that the optimists were 55% less likely to die from cardiovascular disease than the pessimists, and the optimists enjoyed a 45% lower risk of death when not just narrowing it to heart disease.

To us, that sounds like a convincing reason to look for silver linings. So why doesn’t everyone do that?

Because sometimes it is really hard to find the silver lining. It is much easier, and less work, to just see the dark cloud.

Sometimes you really have to look for the positive.

Sometimes, just by the genetic make up of being a person, we can be risk averse. We are looking for things that challenge our physical or psychological safety. It is a negativity bias that helps us to stay safe and alive. It can be easy to see threatening things and to ONLY see those things.

Also, sometimes when life and work throw a lot of things our way, it is much easier to see things as hopeless instead of looking for things to be hopeful about. The hopeless things are the big dark cloud. They are easy to see without looking too hard.

Looking for the silver lining can be difficult because you are doing two things at once- acknowledging the bad AND looking for the good in it.

For example, think of the students who are the most challenging, the ones that force you to do things you’ve never done and who try your patience. These are the students who make you a better teacher. With time, you will probably recognize that those experiences ended up creating some of your most rewarding moments.

You can take steps to find the silver lining in adverse situations.

Look for the small glimmers of hope. They may not shine too brightly in the dark of the clouds but identify those slivers of light on the edges of the situation. It is likely they are peripheral to the actual situation. Look on the outside of the situation.
Make a pros and cons list. If it is tough situation there will likely be more cons, but any of the pros you find are a part of your silver lining.
Ask others to help you find the silver lining. Friends who are not as engrossed in the situation as you are can sometimes have a more distanced perspective and can see things that may not be as clear to you.
When you find yourself listing all of the negatives of a situation, step back and give yourself time and space to look at it from a different perspective. Take a few deep breaths, change your environment or put it aside until tomorrow. Come back to it later with a fresh set of eyes and you may see that silver lining you did not see the first time.

Recap:

Negative situations will happen in your work and home life. Intentionally taking time to find the silver linings can improve your work life, home life, health ,and well being. Pessimism, and choosing to see only the dark cloud is easier, but choosing optimism and finding the silver lining will benefit you now and well into the future.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

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Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

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The Enneagram for Educators Types 5, 6, and 7 Ep.37

November 8, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

The Enneagram for Educators Types 5, 6, and 7 S.3 E. 37

Listen to this episode to learn more about the Enneagram and understand the patterns of types 5, 6, and 7.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

If you want to learn more about the Enneagram and how Enneagram patterns play out in your life and in the lives of others around you, stay tuned. This is part four of our Enneagram series. Today we are going to talk about the head types- five, six and seven. What does it mean to be a head type and how does that show up in you or in your family, friends, and students? Let’s find out!

In this episode:

Introduction:

Welcome back to our special series on the Enneagram. The following show notes are a summary of the episode, not a complete transcript. To hear all of the discussion and personal examples, please listen to the episode.

This is part four of our Enneagram for Educators series. If you missed episode 34 which was an introduction to the Enneagram, episode 35 where we discussed types 8, 9, and 1, or episode 36 where we discussed types 2, 3, and 4, you may want to go back and listen to those episodes. In fact, we recommend going back and listening to them all because if you only have information about three of the types, you don’t have the big picture of the Enneagram. Today we are going to talk about the head or thinking types. These are types 5, 6 and 7.

Characteristics of Enneagram Type 5

If you remember our Wizard of Oz analogy from the episode 34, The Scarecrow sang, “If I only had a brain”. The Scarecrow represents the thinking types.

Type 5s are sometimes known by the labels The Wise Person, or The Observer. As always, we don’t focus on labels as much as on patterns of behavior.

As we talk about the types, remember that every type has both positive patterns and patterns that are potentially troublesome. You do not have to have all the patterns of your type, and in particular, a person who has done some growth and transformation work may have few if any of the more negative patterns. That said, those patterns are always in the background, ready to come into play if you are tired or stressed or going through a difficult time in your life.

What are some of the patterns of the type 5?

Positive patterns of the 5:

Wise
Knowledable
Visionary
Comfortable with innovative and complex ideas
Observant- they are people watchers and notice things
Good at synthesizing ideas
May be reserved or very witty
Analytical
Often keep their feelings to themselves

Negative patterns of the type 5:

Protective of energy
Carefully guards privacy and space- they can isolate
Overthinking or over-analyzing
Intellectually arrogant
Negative
Controlled
Detached- from others, from emotions and from their bodies
Intense
Highly anxious

Basic fears and way of seeing the world:

Fives fear being seen as incompetent. They find security in watching, analyzing, learning, and understanding the world around them.

5’s are generally calm, wise and perceptive. They love to learn and are curious. They can go down deep rabbit holes when something interests them. They bring the gift of understanding complex ideas and bringing creative innovations to the world.

The challenge for fives is to not get stuck in their heads or detach from others in their relentless pursuit of knowing.

Characteristics of Enneagram Type 6

Sixes are known as The Loyal Person or The Loyalist.

Positive patterns of the Type 6:

Reliable and responsible
Hard -working
Trustworthy
Compassionate
Loyal
Sympathetic to the underdog
Warm and friendly
Vigilant
Fearful or worried
Careful
Good problem solvers

Challenging patterns of the Type 6:

Fixated on worse-case scenarios
Either withdraw to protect themselves or confront fearful situations head or seek them out and confront them
Relentless in getting what they want
Desperate to feel a sense of belonging
Overly cautious
Full of self-doubt
Highly anxious

Basic fears and way of seeing the world:

The six’s basic desire is to be secure in a world they may see as fraught with danger. They want to find a secure group and a secure place to fight against anxiety and insecurity. They anticipate danger and plan ahead to protect themselves as a way of controlling their fears. Sixes often like to organize and plan things, which is an effective way of helping them to reduce anxiety caused by not knowing.

Sixes have great instincts, but don’t always trust themselves because they are too busy over-thinking.

Characteristics of Enneagram Type 7

The type seven is known as The Joyful Person or the Enthusiast. 7s bring the joy!

Positive patterns of the Type 7:

Optimistic
Spontaneous
Playful, fun, humorous
High-spirited
Seek new and exciting experiences
Want to taste everything life has to offer
Visionaries
Highly accomplished
Full of gratitude, they love life
They are very social and good cheerleaders for others

Challenging patterns of the Type 7:

Addicted to being happy
FOMO
Like to keep all their options open, which can lead to indecision or lack of commitment
Overly extended or scattered
Undisciplined
Easily distracted
Easily bored
Must avoid the pain of life at all costs

Basic fears and way of seeing the world:

Seven’s do not want to miss out on any of life’s pleasures. They love freedom to explore and do fun, and interesting things.

Seven’s fear is feeling pain or being deprived of something joyful. They will do to great lengths to avoid feeling anything unpleasant, which means they often need to be “doing” to avoid feeling.

Before we recap, know that the next episode is the final episode in this series. We’re going to bring all of this together and talk about how you can use this information in your life and work.

Recap:

The thinking types of 5, 6 and 7, lead with their heads, constantly filtering the world through their mental faculties. The inner life of the mind gives them energy and inspiration. They tend to analyze and plan, which provides security. Under stress, they can overthink, over-plan or withdraw, which leads to isolation and anxiety which can get in the way of decision making or action.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

What’s Draining Your Energy? Ep. 22

July 26, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

What’s Draining Your Energy? S. 2 Ep.22

Listen to this episode to find out how to stop the things that are draining your energy.

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

Have you ever started out a day or week with lots of energy only to find that you are somehow drained of all of that energy, leaving you feeling frustrated, tired, or maybe even angry? In today’s episode we are going to discuss what might be draining your energy and talk about solutions to the problem. Your energy is important; you’re going to want to hear today’s episode!

In this episode:

We all need energy to do our best work and enjoy our lives outside of work. Every action you take- and even action you don’t take, can drain your energy. Energy is not just physical, it is also mental and emotional.

How do you think of energy? Is it something you are given? Is it something you create?

Brendan Burchard says, “The power plant does not have energy, it makes energy.”

Like the power plant, energy isn’t something that just exists in you. Energy involves taking what is coming to you and controlling it in ways that help you to have energy. You can have more or less energy, depending on how you react and control life’s circumstances.

The first step is to notice where your energy flows well and where you are lose your energy. Once you figure out what is causing your lack of energy, you can address it.

What is draining you of your precious energy? What can you do to reclaim that energy?

Quote:

“You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks light in you.”

Alexander den Hejer

Fix the small things that are draining you.

Let’s start with the little things. Little things add up. Sometimes, the easiest fix to draining energy is just to deal with little things that have been piling up.

We’ve probably all done this-letting dishes build up in the sink. We don’t wash a few dishes from breakfast, which would have been a five minute job. Then we skip dishes again, now it is a 20 minutes job. Two days later we have a pile of dirty dishes. You get to the point you just want to burn the kitchen down.

In the meantime, those dishes have been nagging at you! Every time you go near the kitchen, it drains your energy a little bit.

It’s like vampire electricity. When you have many different appliances plugged in, you don’t realize they are using electricity even if you’re not using them at the moment, but they are. They might have a small light on in the control box, for example the little on the microwave or stove panel. It’s no big thing, but if you have dozens of things using tiny bits of electricity, it adds up. Those things are literally draining energy!

Here are some more examples of little things that drain your energy bit by bit:

A messy desk which means it takes more time to find something

A missing button on a shirt that you keep reaching for in the morning before you realize you can’t wear it

You keep putting if off making an appointment, for example driving around with the maintenance light on in your car.

Make a list of all the little things in your house or at school that are bugging you. What are you putting up with?

Consider taking a few minutes to sew on that button or make that appointment. Or set aside an hour and see how many of those little things you can take care of. It will feel good to cross them off the list.

Every little thing that you are tolerating is draining you down.

Look for things you are doing that are emotionally draining you.

You might be worrying.

We worry about things that haven’t happened yet, and might never happen.
We worry about what others think of us.
We worry about problems out of our control.
We worrying about things that have happened in the past.

Worrying is a habit, and we can learn to worry less by remembering this quote from Barbara Cameron, “Worry about tomorrow steals the joy from today.”

Another example of emotional energy drain is comparison.

You can’t control what others think of you.
Comparison often caused by too much social media or FOMO.
Comparison steals your joy and drains your energy.

Another emotional drain leak is getting involved in things that are not yours to do.

You get involved in someone else’s drama.
You spending time and energy on things you shouldn’t do, for example taking on someone else’s work.
You are working on something that is not in your circle of influence.

Solutions for emotionally draining experiences:

Notice what is draining you emotionally. Spend quiet time to think, meditate, journal, pray- these things often help bring you back to your center and can calm anxiety and stress.

Focus on things you can control. You might want to listen to episodes 6 and 7 to help you set priorities and prevent, reduce and eliminate stress.

Look at things that are physically draining you.

You already know these things so we will just mention them briefly.

What are the things that drain your physical energy:

Lack of sleep

Lack of hydration

Unhealthy food and drinks

Lack of physical activity- Physical activity actually gives you energy, though it seems in the moment like it is taking it.

Unfulfilled medical needs- a nagging toothache, physical pain in the body

Pay attention to what your body needs. You will never have enough energy by skipping these essentials.

We also lose energy through draining relationships.

We have all kinds of relationships, some by choice and some by birth or through work. There are things that can drain our energy in all kinds of relationships. You can’t control all the people in your life or all the ways they may drain you, but you can control your reactions.

You may have to deal with gossipy family and friends, emotional meltdowns of your children, or other issues with family members or colleagues who drain your energy. Some relationships are especially difficult, leaving you feeling frustrated or even angry.

These people are energy vampires. The energy vampire tends to be pessimistic. When there is an opportunity, they will see all the ways that it won’t work.

Energy vampires often engage in negative talk. It is true that sometimes we just need to vent to someone we trust. However, some people have negativity bias that works on overload, allowing them to see all the ways other people are problems without seeing the strengths that they bring.

Energy vampires resist change. “The way we have always done it is fine, thanks.” “We tried that years ago and it didn’t work.” Along with this attitude comes an unwillingness to problem solve. “What’s the point? It won’t work anyway.”

Inflexible people often see the world in black and white. It is often all or nothing with this kind of person. They tend to have strict rules and never relax them. They are quick to see right or wrong and not willing to look at individual circumstances. They may also struggle with empathy, seeing someone else as wrong or bad.

Energy vampires can also be grumpy. You smile or say good morning and they answer with a grunt. They are irritated by cheerful people. They are not inclined to engage in social niceties. This type of person can easily take the wind out of your sails and change your attitude if you let them.

How to deal with an energy draining person:

Don’t take things personally. Their attitude is not about you or caused by you.

Paula shares that in situations where she is reminding herself not to take things personally, she often tries to channel her inner Dr. Phil. If you remember Dr. Phil, he was often heard saying, “It’s not about you!”

Understand that you may not be able to change the person.

Do your best to stay positive and not let their energy affect your own energy. Try to reframe their statements in a productive way or at the very least, try not to perpetuate the negativity.

Keep this little mantra in your pocket:

“I will not let this person frustrate me or make me angry. I choose not to let this person change my attitude.”

There may be times when you can choose to limit your exposure to people who drain you, though there are some relationships you want or need to keep in your life.

We also want to say that when dealing with severe conflicts or heavy emotional trauma due to relationships, you may need professional help.

Doing things that do not align with your values drains your energy.

When we expend time on things that are not important to us, or where we don’t find purpose, it often feels energy draining.

Examine how you are spending your time. Do the things you are spending time on have purpose for you?

Here is an example. You are asked to be involved in running a school or charity event. It will require a good deal of your time. Is the cause important to you? Will it positively impact people you care about? Is it within your circle of influence? Asking yourself these kinds of questions and considering how it will align with your values will help you make wise choices.

Doing too many things that don’t align with your values will drain your energy.

Make sure you find time for things that you love. Alexander den Hejer says,

“You often feel tired, not because you’ve done too much, but because you’ve done too little of what sparks light in you.”

Take time every day to do something you love to do, something that sparks a light in you. Go for a walk, read a book, paint, cook, talk with a friend. Even just a few minutes a day will help you to renew your energy. Doing something you love is like wearing garlic around your neck to ward off an energy draining vampire.

Don’t spend all of your time invested in things that distract you from your real priorities.

Recap:

We want to maximize our energy. When it comes to energy, you don’t have energy, you create it. Being aware of where you can create energy and what is draining your energy can help you to have the energy to do the things you want to do in you life.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

https://inspiredtogetherteachers.com/dont-be-the-colleague-that-others-want-to-avoid/

Podcasts episode 6: Set Priorities to Take Back Your Life

Podcast episode 7: Prevent, Eliminate and Reduce Stress

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Choose Your Battles Ep. 8

April 19, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Choose Your Battles S. 1 E.8

Listen to this episode to learn how to choose your battles in order to take more control over your life.

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you sometimes feel like you are facing too many obstacles at home and at work? Are there times when you question which issues you should engage with and which you just need to let pass you by? In this episode we explore strategies you can use to decide which battles in your work and home life are worth fighting and which you should ignore.

There are so many things each day battling for our time and attention. We only have the capacity to fight so many battles at a time. Choose your battles wisely.

In this episode:

1. Why is it important to pick your battles?

Teachers are often overwhelmed with all of the things they need to do. Teachers make approximately 1,500 decisions in a day. There is the potential for A LOT of issues to arise. You can’t give every one of them your full attention.
As teachers, we are natural advocates. We see the problems, and we want to make them better. Many times we know what needs to be done to solve the problems, but it becomes overwhelming when we are constantly working to fix things.
Teachers are jacks- of -all -trades. They are expected to expected to jump in when and where it is needed.
Teachers have opinions and they are usually backed by solid experience and knowledge. We want to make things better and are quick to identify areas and issues that need improvement.

2. Recognizing the type of battle is key to deciding if you want to engage.

Major battles vs minor inconveniences
Your battles vs someone else’s battles
Systematic battles vs local battles

3.Two approaches to use in order determine what to pay attention to:

Use Your Filter

In his book, What Great Teachers do Differently, Todd Whitaker suggests that the best teachers choose their filters carefully, choosing what negatives around us that we let filter in and which we can ignore.

Use Steven Covey’s Circle of Control
In Steven Covey’s book The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People he shares that issues fall into two rings: the Circle of Concern and the Circle of Influence.
The Circle of Concern is everything that troubles or concerns us. We really don’t have influence over most of these issues. These are areas where a lot of worry often occurs.
Our Circle of Influence is everything that we can control or somehow affect.
If something in your circle of concern is a big enough concern, you can decide to do something about it and move it into your circle of influence. If not, learn to let it go.
Focus your energy on things that fall into your Circle of Influence. You are likely wasting emotional energy and time on things that are in the Circle of Concern.
When you waste time and energy on things outside of your control, you can’t focus on positive aspects of your life or use your energy toward things you love to do.

4. Action Steps:

Focus your energy on things in your control.
The next time you feel yourself getting pulled into a battle, ask yourself, “Is this in my circle of Influence or should I filter it out?” If it is not in your circle of influence, filter it out.
Focus your energy on something that matters most to you.
Focus your energy on your concerns, not someone else’s. It is ok to politely decline an invitation to engage in or engage with a battle that is not yours.

Recap:

There are many things each day battling for our time and attention. We only have the capacity to fight so many battles at a time. Choose your battles wisely.

Quote:

“You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”

Winston Churchill

Resources mentioned in this episode:

What Great Teachers Do Differently by Todd Whitaker

The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Blog: Mindset Shift: Circle of Control

Podcast: Episode: 6 Set Priorities to Take Back Your Life

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Check out this episode to learn ways to prepare yourself for change so that you can lessen frustration and make life easier.

Show Notes:

In this episode:

Introduction:

What does this all have to do with change?

Identify if it is an “A” level change or a “B” level change. Don’t let “A” level change take on the strength of “B” level change.

Identify the change for what it is (real and coming) and plan accordingly.

Another way of preparing for change is to accept the change is coming and adjust accordingly.

You can also prepare for change by becoming the initiator of change.

What skills or strategies can you apply to the upcoming change?

Recap:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

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Finding Optimism in Silver Linings S.3. Ep 44

Listen to this episode to discover ways to find optimism in difficult circumstances.

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Recap:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

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The Enneagram for Educators Types 5, 6, and 7 S.3 E. 37

Listen to this episode to learn more about the Enneagram and understand the patterns of types 5, 6, and 7.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Characteristics of Enneagram Type 5

What are some of the patterns of the type 5?

Characteristics of Enneagram Type 6

Characteristics of Enneagram Type 7

Recap:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

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What’s Draining Your Energy? S. 2 Ep.22

Show Notes:

Fix the small things that are draining you.

Here are some more examples of little things that drain your energy bit by bit:

Look for things you are doing that are emotionally draining you.

Solutions for emotionally draining experiences:

Look at things that are physically draining you.

We also lose energy through draining relationships.

How to deal with an energy draining person:

Doing things that do not align with your values drains your energy.

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Choose Your Battles S. 1 E.8

Listen to this episode to learn how to choose your battles in order to take more control over your life.

Show Notes:

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