You already know that student relationships are important. Early in the school year you likely devoted time to getting to know students’ names and to learn a little bit about their likes and interests. You have an idea of who their friends are. You also know something about their learning levels and skills.

All of these things help you to be a more effective teacher.

When you have good student relationships, your teaching world is easier. Learning is enhanced when you can relate to your students and give examples that they can connect to. Students are more engaged when they believe their teachers are interested in them. When you know students well, you will experience fewer behavior challenges. And, best of all, when you have good student relationships, teaching is much more fun!

What’s next? How can you take your relationships with students to the next level?

Here are some suggestions:

Give students surveys or interest inventories that ask about their learning.

The following types of questions can give you new insight about your students:

Tell me three things you are really good at.

How did you get to be good at those things?

Tell me three things that are challenging to you.

What do you do when learning is hard for you?

Describe the kind of teacher who could help you learn best.

Let students in on your life.

Students are interested in their teachers’ lives. They don’t need to know everything, but share a little bit of your life outside of the school day. For example, share how you struggled to learn something and what you did to finally learn it. Tell a funny story about the time your dog threw up on you just before you left for school. One teacher recently shared with us that her students were fascinated by her new baby’s name. Now, they always want to know what her baby is doing- crawling, dumping out the contents of drawers and spitting up peas. They love it when she reminds them that they used to do those things, but now they have grown. It is a way to remind the students that like the baby, they are also growing and learning everyday.

Look for opportunities to recognize something special in a student and then comment on it.

Do you remember something special about yourself that a teacher once told you? Michele remembers an elementary school teacher telling her she was a good writer. She never forgot it.

Teachers often notice positive traits or gifts that students have. Students may not even realize these are special or unique things. Students will enjoy hearing that they are a good problem solver, or that they are a very kind and caring person. You have the power to help a student see his or her specialness and in doing so might change their lives forever.

Get feedback from students and incorporate it so they know you take them seriously.

You can do this in a discussion by asking students questions or by giving them an exit slip. What worked well in class this week? Why? What didn’t go so well this week ? Why? What suggestions do you have for a good learning week next week? Listen and take notes and then use the information in your planning.

Make sure students know that you want what is best for them.

Tell them why you give assignments and what skills it will help them to develop or how it will help them in their future. Explain the reasons behind rules. If you need to reprimand students or correct behaviors, explain it not as punishment but in ways that show that you know they are capable of being better and that you want them to be the best version of themselves.

If you yell at me, I may not change my behavior. If you approach me by telling me that you believe I can do better, I will rise to meet your expectation.

Paula once overheard a student tell another student, “Don’t worry, she won’t let you fail.”  That’s when you know students trust you, that you have their best interests at heart, and that you are in their corner!

Call or write home with good news.

Most teachers are very responsible about contacting parents or guardians when students are struggling. Fewer take the time to contact parents or guardians when students do something well.

What would happen if you made a goal to call or write a note to 2-3 parents each week? Just a couple of sentences would go along way to leveling up relationships with both students and parents.

Support from Neuroscience

In case you need additional support for the power of leveling up your student relationships, there is support from the field of neuroscience.

Positive relationships increase our levels of dopamine, a chemical which makes us feel good. Having many positive interactions starts a cycle of feeling good, which increases motivation.

The opposite is also true. Think of students who have many negative interactions throughout the day. How does having more negative interactions than positive ones change how we feel, how we act, and how motivated we are?

Talking and laughing together also increase the levels of the hormone oxytocin, a chemical that helps us bond and feel psychologically safe. The implications of this are many, especially in a time when many students are feeling high levels of anxiety. Maslow taught us that students can’t learn until their basic needs are satisfied. The need to feel safe comes before learning.

When teachers know students well, they can help students grow and strengthen neurological pathways in the brain. Teachers who use students’ interests, stories, and experiences, and help them connect prior learning to new learning, help students make brain connections that increase learning and retention.

The best teachers know that building positive student relationships takes time and intention, but the time and effort pays off in multiple ways.

We know that you are already building relationships with students. We challenge you to take it to the next level by trying one new thing to level up your relationships.

Our best,