In many school districts, parent-teacher conferences are held in October. These conferences allow both parents and teachers to gain insight into student’s academic progress as well as a better understanding of students’ social, emotional and behavioral strengths and challenges.

Many teachers are apprehensive about conferences.  Will parents be supportive or demanding?  Will parents be indifferent or even show up?  Will I be treated as a professional, even though I might be younger than the parents?  What do I do if a parent is angry?

As veterans of hundreds of parent-teacher conferences, we have some insight and advice that might ease your fears and help you to have productive conferences.

Conferences should not be your first contact with parents.  Hopefully, you have been proactive in working with parents. You may have sent a letter of introduction. You may have met parents at Open House or Back to School Night. Perhaps you have sent newsletters, made phone calls or contacted parents through your school’s online learning management or reporting system. You may have completed progress reports at mid-term.  Each of these forms of communication has helped you to build a relationship with parents.  Having a prior relationship helps ease the way into meeting one-on-one with parents at parent-teacher conferences.

Along those same lines, parents should not be blindsided at conferences.  If there are student concerns or issues, you should contact parents before conferences.  Imagine how you would feel if you thought things were going well with your son or daughter and show up at school only to find they are failing!

Take conference preparation seriously. Preparation will allow you to feel calmer and more in control. Being ready with information about each student will go a long way towards assuring parents that you are professional and competent.

Decide which points you want to emphasize with each student’s parents. Take a multidimensional view of students.  In addition to academic progress, parents are interested in the student’s work habits, as well as their social, emotional and physical well- being. You see students every day and often have insight into all aspects of their lives in school.  Is Derrick a natural leader?  Is Mandy kind and helpful to others?  Is Cade often tired and sometimes sleeps in class?  This kind of information is often as important or more important than the fact that the student earned an 86% on a test.

Begin with a positive comment.  Share comments that let the parents know that you know their child and have their best interests at heart.  Have data, such as test scores, examples of daily work or portfolios ready to share.

Provide perspective on grades. Explain how they were derived and how they might be improved. If parents have not accessed the school’s grade reporting portal, you might show them what it looks like and remind them how they can access it.

Be sensitive and aware that different families have different values, expectations and cultural norms.  You can ask parents about their expectations and goals for their child. Parents will have insights about their child that you don’t have.  Listen to their comments and concerns.  Conferences should be a two-way street, not a one-way presentation from the teacher.

Some districts invite student to join in or even lead conferences.  If students are present, a good tactic is to invite students to explain to their parents their work and their grades.  You can fill in or prompt students as necessary.  If your district encourages student led conferences, work with students in class to help them practice and learn how to present and discuss their work effectively.  Having students present also offers an opportunity for goal setting with the student, parent and teacher all present to understand and acknowledge the goals. It might be helpful to write the goals and have all present sign them.

Some parents are unsure about ways to help their child or feel inadequate about their parenting skills.  Parenting doesn’t come with a manual. These parents often look to teachers to help them with their child’s behavior or learning needs.  Share things that you are doing that work.  Offer to follow up with additional resources, including referrals to guidance counselors, social workers or other support services as appropriate.  Be grateful that the parent trusts you and is open to help. Teachers often do have good insight based on experiences with many students.

When discussing student struggles or concerns, be prepared with supporting examples. Be ready to discuss specific things a student could do to improve. For example, telling a parent that his son needs to work harder is not as helpful as saying that he could improve by double checking his answers on the math homework.  You might also suggest resources that could help the student such as after school tutoring clubs or enrichment opportunities that the school provides.

If parents become overly aggressive or abusive, stop the conference.  Explain that the conference is not productive and it will be rescheduled at a later date with an administrator, additional teacher or a guidance counselor present.  Ask the parents to leave and promise to follow up to schedule another meeting.

Try to stick to the conference time schedule.  At the elementary level, parents may be scheduled in fifteen- minute time slots.  At the secondary level, teachers are often in a common area such as a gym where parents wait in line to see different teachers.  Long conferences result in parents of other students waiting for long periods.  If you need more time to talk with a parent, offer to arrange another conference at a different time.

Parent-teacher conferences should be an opportunity to work together with parents to enhance student learning.  Thinking of parents as allies will allow you to be open to ways they can help you as you are helping their child. Parents and teachers have a common bond in that both want to see the student succeed.

Good luck with your parent-teacher conferences,