Raise Your Standards S. 1 Ep. 15

 

Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can raise your standards to live in alignment with your beliefs and values.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

We all have personal standards. Sometimes they serve us well and sometimes they don’t. In this episode we talk about the standards you have set for yourself and where you might need to examine them, tweak them, or even change them.

We’re not talking about Common Core or state standards, we’re talking about the standards you set for yourself, the standards you live by and that drive your actions. Though the educational system may set the curricular standards, you are in charge of setting your own standards!

In this episode:

What do we mean by standards?

Today we are talking about raising our standards.

We are not talking about the Common Core, Next Gen Science Standards or your state standards.

We are talking about your personal and professional standards.

By definition a standard is a “level of quality or attainment.” A standard is also an adjective we use to describe “an idea or thing used to measure” it’s what we use for comparison to what is “normal” or an expected level.

Examples of standards:

• We set standards, or boundaries around what we are willing to do based on our values and beliefs.
• We have standards around how we act around people, talk to people, and present our selves.
• We have standards around the quality of work we will do.
• Our standards tell us what we expect and what we will tolerate.
• We also set standards for how we want to be treated and what we expect from ourselves and from other people.
• If your standards are high, you understand your worth and your value and act accordingly.
• If your standards a low, you are going to accept pretty much anything from yourself or others, you have low expectations and settle for the path of least resistance.

Though the educational system may set the curricular standards, you are in charge of setting your own standards!

What determines the type of standards we have?

• Our standards are deeply ingrained; we often developed our standards as children when our parents and others taught us how to act.
• We learn standards from watching others model- both positively and negatively
• We also choose to create our standards as a reflection of our personal values.
• Our standards are also closely related to our beliefs about what we think we deserve, and about our value as a person. As your understanding of who we are or what we believe changes, so should our boundaries.

It isn’t always easy to change your standards. They have become a part of us. That said, we CAN change our standards and we may need to in order to elevate our lives.

Leonardo DiCaprio understands that sometimes we will need to raise our standards when he said, said, “Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”

Raise Your Standards for Personal Interactions

Do You Need to Raise Your Standards?

As you have become a teacher, chances are, you have raised your standards in some areas of your life.

• Many of us are rethinking our relationships with food, choosing foods that are higher quality, organic, local, and more nutritious.
• We may have raised our standards in terms of exercise, recognizing that exercise helps us reduce frustration and become more mindful.
• Since you are a working professional, you have likely raised your standards in terms of your personal wardrobe. The world has gone more casual in dress, but there are various levels of casual and also appropriate and inappropriate situations for some clothing.

There are some other areas where it is possible to raise your standards.

• You may also need to raise your standards in how you talk to yourself. Many of us have a mean girl or a bully voice in our head that doesn’t say very nice things.
• How can we expect others to show us love, acceptance, commitment, & respect when we don’t even show that to ourselves?

 You may need to raise your standards in your interactions with others.

This is where it gets tricky. Examining how you interact with others takes it out of the individual realm as it involves another person. We are no longer just considering our wants and needs, but those of the other person.

You may need to raise your interpersonal standards if you have ever found yourself doing one or more of the following:

• Failing to correct a student because you don’t want to hurt their feelings.
• Not speaking up at a faculty meeting when you disagree because you don’t want to upset your colleagues or make them think you are a troublemaker.
• Letting a student, parent or other teacher yell at you.
• Letting a student undermine you by allowing them to change the direction of an activity.
• Allowing someone to take credit for your work.
• Doing the work of someone else rather than call them on it or letting it go undone.

If you have experienced any of these things, is a sign of an interaction which needs to be improved.

Here are a few ways to raise your standards in how you interact with others:

• Understand that teaching often involves correcting someone or helping them to change behaviors and that this is a positive thing.
• Teachers often hesitate to correct students because they don’t want to make them feel bad. Rather than framing it as criticism, frame it as help. Help students to understand that it is your job to offer guidance.
• Help students to understand that having a growth mindset means that they are going to make mistakes and that is part of the process. It does not mean that you will punish them.

Do not allow other people to treat you with disrespect.

• You teach other people how to treat you by how you respond to them.
• If you allow someone to take credit for your work, or to undermine your decisions they will likely continue to do so.
• If they know that they can slack off and you will pick up their end of the project, they will leave you doing more than your fair share of the work.
• You do not have to allow anyone to scream at you. You can respectfully suggest that you will set up another time to talk when emotions are not running so high.

Learn to have courageous conversations.

• If someone throws you under the bus, call them on it.
• Know your value and stand up for yourself when needed.
• If people in your life leave you feeling resentful, angry and hurt, speak up. You can do this without accusations by addressing how you feel.
• If you value the relationship, say so, and acknowledge what kind of behaviors you want or need.
• Though it can be difficult to do so, try to stay calm and speak with a low voice.

It isn’t fun to have courageous conversations, but when we do so, often times we clear the air. It is a chance to let go of anger and resentment. It is also a chance to better understand the other person and let them understand you.

Raising your standards may be a sign of self care.

Recently, there was an article on the Today website called: Dear Moms: Trips to Target are Not Self-care. The basic premise was that many women think that a trip to Target is self-care. They walk around and look at the candles and pillows and drink a Starbucks latte, and then buy things their families need. That is not real self care. Real self care is actually asking for and getting something you really need- like an entire night to yourself or a day away with your friends. This is an example of how raising your standards can mean speaking up and asking for what you really need.

We’ll do an entire episode on real self care in the near future.

Be aware of what you bring to your interactions.

• The other side of the story is in what your attitudes and actions say about you.
• In episode 9 we talked about how YOU Set the Tone.
• You’ve heard of the Golden Rule, and it is not bad advice to treat people how you would like to be treated.
• Raising your standards means being aware of you what you bring to interactions.
• Being respectful and kind goes a long way.
• People notice when you show up with integrity. You can take the high road and become a positive role model.
• “Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.” Mandy Hale

Though it is a process rather than an event, it is possible to raise your standards around relationships and interactions. You won’t always get it right, and old habits sometimes die hard.

We say this all the time, but it is true. Try to keep moving in the right direction. Small steps in the right direction will often add up to big improvements.

Recap: When we raise our standards, we understand who we are and how we need to show up in the world in order to give and receive value. That is a worthy goal, one that will serve you well as a teacher and in other parts of your life.

Quotes:

“Every next level of your life will demand a different you.”

Leonardo DiCaprio

 “Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.”

Mandy Hale

Resources mentioned in this episode:  

Today: Dear Moms: Trips to Target are Not Self-care.

 Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

YOU Set the Tone  Inspired Together Teachers Podcast Episode 9 

Blog: Raise Your Standards for Personal Interactions

 

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

 Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Teachers

 

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.