Season 7 Epsiode 114
Listen to this episode to learn more about the relaxed, peace loving Enneagram Type 9. Couldn’t we all use a little less conflict and more peace in our lives?
Show Notes:
Episode Summary:
Here’s a hint for today’s episode…the person who is easy-going, nice, and that doesn’t cause you any trouble, is easy to take for granted. If you do so however, you may miss out on the gifts they bring and the opportunity to help them to grow into the best version of themselves.
Today we’re talking about Enneagram Type 9. Stay tuned to find out more about the peaceful and adaptable type 9.
In this episode:
The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.
Introduction:
We have a lot to talk about today as we share an Enneagram type we know well.
We’ll share up front that we are both married to type nines! We have a lot of experience and understanding with this type and we’re excited to share type nine with you today on our last episode in this Enneagram series.
This episode is the last in our Enneagram series, where we have broken down all the 9 types. If you haven’t yet listened, we recommend listening to our other episodes which can be found on our website at inspiredtogetherteachers or wherever you listen to podcasts.
Before we begin, some general cautions:
Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others. Understand the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, or teach.
We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns. We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.
Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.
There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful. We think this is very useful.
Patterns of Enneagram Type 9
Think of the people you know, your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach.
Here are the patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical Enneagram Type 9 patterns:
- Nines are easygoing, relaxed and non- confrontational.
- Type Nines will often not express their wants or needs or opinions; they like to go with the flow and do what everyone else wants.
- Nines are accepting and can easily work with others and get along with others.
- Nines are adaptable, patient, compassionate, and supportive of others.
- Nines dislike conflict and will go to great lengths to prevent it.
- They often make good mediators and will help solve problems to avoid conflicts.
- Nines will concede to others, and go along with others. When they dismiss their own needs, they may become stubborn or angry.
- At their worst, nines can check-out, becoming indecisive, uninvolved, slothful, or undisciplined.
Tips and Strategies for Working Effectively with people who exhibit Enneagram Type 9 patterns:
Let’s give some examples of type nine patterns and how you can best work with them or support them.
Our first example is a school example.
Your teaching partner, we’ll call her Liz, is a type 9. She is an easy person to work with. Everyone in the school gets along well with her. Students like her and she likes them and works well with them. She also gets along with parents.
Liz is sometimes quiet, and she doesn’t often offer her opinion at faculty or team meetings. She will ask what everyone else wants to do and then go along with them. She rarely disagrees or tries to change anything. On the down side, she is very stuck to her routines and can be stubborn about changing something. When others disagree, she will jump in and try to find common ground.
As much as you love working with Liz, sometimes you wish she would offer her ideas or suggestions. Often, she goes along with everyone else, but she is starting to feel resentful and even a bit angry about the decisions that are made.
Here is another example, this time from a personal situation.
Your ten -year -old son, Ben, is an agreeable, chill guy. He is generally happy with whatever you plan and rarely causes any problems. Ever since he was a baby, everyone noticed what an easy child he is.
Ben is very compliant in school and gets good report cards. He has friends and has never gotten in trouble. What’s the problem?
You’ve noticed that Ben doesn’t really challenge himself. He does what is asked, but not more. He also doesn’t assert himself. When asked what he wants to eat for his birthday dinner, he replies with, “ I don’t care, whatever you want.” When he chooses a game to play on family game night and his sister suddenly demands that everyone play a different game, he is quick to let her choose the game.
You want your son to have some agency and eventually create his own life based on his dreams and desires, rather than just go with the flow and fall into whatever is in front of him.
Let’s look at a couple of examples to best work with Enneagram Type 9s.
- Take time to ask their opinion and listen to their response. Let them know that you really do what their opinion.
- Find out what their needs, desires, and dreams are and ask them how you can support them in accomplishing those things.
- Nines are body types, which means they lead with the gut. They can benefit from physical activity such as working out or spending time doing something active.
- Nines may need help setting boundaries for themselves so they don’t allow others to always makes their decisions, lead them, or set their priorities.
- Encourage them to talk about their anger so they don’t blow up or melt-down.
- Nines fear loss or separation from others, help them to understand that you accept them, that they matter to you.
Strengths and Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:
Strengths:
- Easy going
- Stable
- Accepting and adaptable
- Good mediator
- Peaceful
Challenges:
- Indecisive
- Unassertive
- Numbed-out
- Stubborn
- Passive- aggressive
Opportunities for growth:
- Ask yourself what you want and need.
- Take intentional, focused action on your priorities.
- Learn to set boundaries for yourself.
- Let your ideas and opinions be known.
- Learn to live with conflict.
- Understand that you can be loved even if you disagree with someone or something.
Conclusion:
Like all types, Nines have many strengths and challenges. Understanding their patterns and motivations can help you to better work with, live with, love and teach those with Enneagram Type 9 patterns.
Recap:
We need Enneagram Type 9’s in our lives. They remind us to slow down, to relax, and to let go of conflicts. They bring peace and acceptance to a world that desperately needs those gifts.
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Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.
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