Letting Go of Imposter Syndrome  S. 4 E. 59

 

Listen to this episode to learn about signs of imposter syndrome and ways to banish it! 

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you ever say to yourself, “I am not good enough”,  “I am not ready”,  “I don’t know enough”, or, “I hope others don’t realize I don’t know enough to be doing this”? If so, you might be letting imposter syndrome sneak into your life. Imposter syndrome is real and common, but you can overcome it. In today’s episode we will explore how imposter syndrome might be sneaking into your thoughts and what you can do to banish it!

In this episode:

Over the past few years, we have met many wonderful teachers at our workshops.

There are a few common things that we hear at every workshop. One of the top things we regularly hear from many teachers at workshops is that they often feel like they are imposters, or that they are not good enough.

Talk about imposter syndrome has grown since it was first coined in 1978 by Dr. Pauline Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes.

Today we’ll discuss what imposter syndrome is and what you can do to combat it.

What is imposter syndrome? 

Before we start exploring some of the ways you can overcome imposter syndrome let’s make a few clarifications about what imposter syndrome is.

While there are clear responses, emotionally and physically, to feeling imposter syndrome, it is not an official psychiatric diagnosis. Psychologists acknowledge that it is very real and very much associated with self-doubt but the “syndrome” is not a diagnosis in the way that most syndromes are.

This is different from being in a discriminatory workplace where people are making you feel like you are an imposter. You should not have to bear the blame for people in your workplace or in society who are intentionally making you feel that you are less than because of your gender, race or class, that is different than self- imposed imposter syndrome.

With that being said, let’s look at imposter syndrome more closely. As you listen, see if any of this rings true for you:

• Imposter syndrome is the belief that says, “I am not good enough.” If you have imposter syndrome, you may believe that you are not ready, that you don’t know enough, and that somehow you got yourself into a job or position that you don’t deserve.
• People with imposter syndrome look around and see everyone else as more competent than they are, which proves to them that they are not deserving. You feel that any success you have found must be just a fluke.
• Imposter syndrome can be especially prevalent in high-achieving people, especially women.

Do you ever doubt your abilities? Feel like fraud? Do you doubt the worthiness of your accomplishments and skills, despite evidence or the words of others that would indicate otherwise? Are you afraid to appear confident because you don’t want other people to think you are bragging or being boastful? Do you deflect or avoid compliments about your achievements?

Imposter syndrome is fairly common, not only among new teachers, but among all teachers.

Teachers spend their days largely alone with students, isolated from the trials and struggles of their colleagues. They know their own struggles, but often don’t see the struggles of others.

Social media also feeds into imposter syndrome. People often post their highlights but less often their struggles. It is easy to compare yourself to others on social media and come up lacking. Comparison is often the thief of joy.

If you ever feel like an imposter, you are not alone.

Michele Obama has admitted to feeling imposter syndrome,  as have many other famous and high-achieving people.  During her book tour for her bestselling book, Becoming, she said, “I still have a little impostor syndrome, it never goes away, that you’re actually listening to me- it doesn’t go away, that feeling that you shouldn’t take me that seriously. What do I know?” she said. “I share that with you because we all have doubts in our abilities, about our power and what that power is.”

Tom Hanks said self-doubt is “a high-wire act that we all walk.”  He went on to say, “No matter what we’ve done, there comes a point where you think, ‘How did I get here? When are they going to discover that I am, in fact, a fraud and take everything away from me?’

Poet and author Maya Angelou once said, “ I’ve written eleven books, but each time I think, “ Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out.”

In Episode 13 of this podcast, “Mindset Shifts that Change Your Life Experience” , we referenced this example about imposter syndrome that is too good not to share again:

Academy Award winning Actress Jodie Foster said, “When I won the Oscar, I thought it was a fluke. I thought everybody would find out, and they’d take it back. They’d come to my house, knocking on the door. ‘Excuse me, we meant to give that to someone else. That was going to Meryl Streep.”

Then take this quote from Meryl Streep, “ You think, ‘Why would anyone want to see me again in a movie? And I don’t know how to act anyway, so why am I doing this?”

These are all very accomplished people, and they still feel like imposters sometimes!  If you’ve ever felt like an imposter, you are in very good company.

Mindset shifts can help you get over imposter syndrome.

We may all have a bit of imposter syndrome, what can we do about it?

It starts with self-awareness and reflection.

Self-Awareness and Reflection:

• This is the first step and you are doing it now by listening to this podcast and reflecting on it.
• Try and note when it is happening to you at work and at home when you have these feelings.
• Ask yourself why you are thinking that way about yourself? Figure out the root cause.

Talk to others:

• Understand that whatever you are feeling, you are likely not alone.
• Talk to other people about your struggles. They will likely share their own struggles back.
• Ask for help when you need it.
• Share the successes, but also the failures. This is growth mindset in action.

Reframe the thoughts in your head:

• Our thoughts are often just stories we tell ourselves.  We can learn to reframe them.

For example if you think “I can’t do this reframe it. I can do this. I’ve done hard things before.” Then look for the evidence and list the difficult things you have done.

• Or perhaps you think, “ I don’t deserve to be here, I’m not good enough.”

Reframe it: “I deserve to be here. Someone believed in me enough to hire me over others who wanted this job.”

Or “ I deserve to be in this relationship. This wonderful person chose me over others.”

• Sometimes our brain tells us stories that we will be rejected, that we can’t get what we want. Our brain instantly goes to all the times we have been rejected in the past. However, those are old stories. You can reframe it to tell a new story.

“ Rejection is protection.”  Or “ If I’m rejected, it is happening for me, not to me.”

Own it- don’t hide it:

• Do not forget to own your achievements. Claim your experiences and growth. Recognize and celebrate your progress. Pat yourself on the back for the things you do well.
• Remember that you are your own unique self. You are not exactly like anyone else. You have your own gifts, and skills and talents.

This is a great place share a quote from someone who is unapologetically her own unique self, Dolly Parton.

“If you are comfortable with yourself and know yourself, you’re going to shine and radiate and other people are going to be drawn to you.”

Imposter syndrome doesn’t have to steal your joy and confidence. Let yourself shine and radiate.

Recap:

In today’s episode we explored different ways that imposter syndrome might be sneaking into your thoughts and life and what you can do to banish it!

You are doing great things. With some self-awareness and reflection, talking to others, and owning your accomplishments you can banish your imposter syndrome.

Quote:

“If you are comfortable with yourself and know yourself, you’re going to shine and radiate and other people are going to be drawn to you.”

Dolly Parton

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Episode 13, “Mindset Shifts that Change Your Life Experience”

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