Share With Parents: Help Your Child Be a Star This School Year

Each new school year begins with excitement and promise.  Both teachers and parents hope that it will be a successful year full of new learning and fun experiences for children.  Though children are in school and away from home for most of the day, there are many things parents can do to help their child be successful and happy in school.

We offer these suggestions so you may share them in your weekly communication with parents (newsletters, emails, blog posts, etc.) as you see fit. Feel free to use them as they are (citing thrivingyoungteachers.com) or alter them to fit your needs.

Establish routines

In the summer, families tend to have more unstructured time with fewer routines.  With the longer days, dinner and bed times tend to creep later and later.  Fall is a good time to reestablish routines.  Determine an after school snack and homework time.  Try to eat dinner on a regular schedule.  In the evenings, take time to wind down by unplugging electronics.  Sticking to a routine bed time will help children fall asleep more easily.  Children learn best when they are well rested.

Create a homework area

Select a desk, a corner of the kitchen island or the dinner table- it doesn’t matter as long as the child has a designated place for homework.  Let your child select some office supplies such as colorful pens and pencils, notebooks, binder clips, and index cards and keep them handy in a fun bin or basket.  Pulling out the basket signals homework time,  and eliminates wasted time spent looking for a writing utensil.

Build a reading habit

The more children read, the better they read.  Strong reading skills are essential to success in almost every area of school.  Set aside time to read to your children or have them read to you.  Even just fifteen minutes a day will reap massive benefits.  Let your children choose books- what they read is less important that the fact that they are reading.  Encourage even more reading by allowing your child to stay up 15 to 30 minutes later, but ONLY if they read.  Buy them a flashlight or a bed side lamp and establish the habit of reading before bed.  Your child’s teacher will thank you.

Encourage a growth mindset

Telling your child she is smart or he is talented leads to what researcher Carol Dweck calls a fixed mindset. Children with a fixed mindset believe that their success is dependent on traits they were born with.  If I am smart, things come easily to me.  I will do well in school.  It doesn’t have anything to do with my effort.  Children with a fixed mindset often spend time trying to prove how smart they are.  They won’t take risks, or try new things because it might lead to failure, which would question their worth.

Children with a growth mindset thrive on challenges.   They understand that with effort, they can learn new things, stretch and grow.  Instead of praising your children for being smart, praise them for their outstanding effort, their smart choices, or being willing to try something difficult.  “You worked hard and it paid off with that great test score”  will help children more than “Wow, you are brilliant.”  It is also helpful to say things like, “you really struggled with this, but next time it will be easier.”  Acknowledge that failure helps us learn. Encouraging children to have a growth mindset will help them in future education and in life.

Rephrase your questions

Every parent has asked, ” how was school today?” only to hear replies such as “fine” or even worse, “boring. “

Teachers are taught not to ask questions that can be answered with yes or no or with a one word reply.  The same trick works for parents.  Try asking, “What was the best part of school today?” or “What did you do in science today?”  rather than “Did you have a good day?”   “Tell me something you learned today” might just spark a discussion and help you to learn about the experiences your child has in school.

Read the newsletter

School and classroom newsletters are written to keep parents informed.  Newsletters help you to understand your child’s school experiences and remind you of due dates.  Have your calendar on hand and immediately write in dates of any special events.  This will save you the last minute scrambling and panic you will feel when you discover the night before that the school science fair is  tomorrow.   Newsletters also clue you in to any potential problems -hello head lice!

Newsletters also contain contact information.  Send your child’s teacher a friendly e-mail to introduce yourself or ask a question.  Sometimes a quick question clears up confusion and alleviates potential problems.  A quick email is also a great way to thank a teacher for extra help or an activity your child really loved.  Students benefit when parents and teachers work together.

Don’t do your child’s homework

You would be surprised at how many well-meaning parents do their child’s homework.  They get tired of arguing with the child to do it, or want to make sure the child gets a good grade, or get frustrated when the child struggles and so the parent just finishes it to get it done.  The purpose of homework is to help the student  learn and practice skills taught in school.  It is their work.  Focus on learning, not perfection.  The same goes for those projects and science fairs- help children but don’t do it for them.  That perfect science fair bridge made by the Dad who is an engineer? Everyone knows who really made it.  You aren’t helping your child achieve glory or increase his self-esteem.  Self-esteem comes from tackling a tough project and finding success.

As long as we are on the topic of homework, help your child to take responsibility for homework.  If the school doesn’t give them a planner, buy them one.  Teach them to write down assignments and activities.  Copy long term projects onto a family master calendar such as Cozi or a shared Google calendar.  A kitchen command center works too.

Encourage good social skills

Children with good social skills are well liked, have more friends and generally get along well in school. Reinforce good manners, such as saying please and thank you.  Remind children to be good listeners, and to contribute to discussions.  Don’t let them interrupt others.  Encourage them to look at the person who is speaking.  Remind them to take turns.

 For children to have good friends they must be a good friend.  Teach them to show care and concern for others.  Character matters.  Many times, when children struggle in school it is a struggle with the social aspects of school.

Teach resilience

In school and in life, your child will encounter disappointments.  They don’t win the ball game, or the spelling bee.  They get a bad grade on an assignment.  They don’t get invited to the birthday party or get the lead in the school play. No one wants to see their child hurt.  It is tempting for parents to try to fix it.  They call the coach and complain, or call the parent of the birthday child and ask that their child be invited.

In today’s educational discussion, resilience is often called “grit” and your child needs to develop grit.  Children need to learn to pick themselves up, dust themselves off and learn from their mistakes.  They need to move on from disappointments.  They need to learn to  persist at boring tasks and finish what they start.  They need to be able to delay gratification and work towards a goal.  Before jumping in to rescue your child, think about whether you are helping them or preventing them from developing resilience.

Make sure they have physical activity every day

Some schools have reduced the amount of physical education time and many have also cut recess.  Make sure your child has time to do something physical every day.  Let them run and play, ride bikes, or walk the dog.   They need to  release energy and  build strong bodies.  Physical activity reduces stress and increases blood flow, which helps children to learn and remember.  Some children learn best while moving their bodies.  Let them stand while doing homework  or practice multiplication facts while shooting baskets.

We all want children to succeed in school. Teachers can help this process by communicating with parents ways in which their child can establish home routines that promote success in school. Success in school is a combination of intellectual, social and emotional and physical activity.  By paying attention to these areas, you and your students’ parents can work together to help the child to have a stellar school year.

What tips or techniques for home do you have to help with success in school?  We would love for you to share your ideas!