Enjoy Self-care and Build Empathy with Books that Transform E.39

Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can engage in guilt free self-care while reading books for pleasure that will help you grow in empathy for others.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you struggle to find or take time for self-care?  Do you love to read for pleasure, but usually feel a little guilty when you take the time to read? Today we’re talking about books that you can read for enjoyment that will also help you to build empathy. These are books that might impact how you see your students or how you view your job. Our book recommendations may also help you understand the power you have as an educator to change lives.

In this episode:

You may not have thought about it this way before, but one form of self-care is doing something that you love to do. For both of us, reading is a form of self-care. Maybe you are nodding your head because reading is self-care for you too. If not, when was the last time you gave reading a try? You may find it to be more relaxing than you remember! Reading is a great form of self-care because you can always fit it in. You can read for just a few minutes before bed, spend hours on a rainy Saturday curled up with a good book, or you could listen to an audio book while driving down the road or hiking through your local nature park.

We like reading because sometimes it is a way to do two things at once. We know that multitasking doesn’t work when you are trying to do multiple things that need all of your attention. Each time you shift to a different task, your brain has to readjust and get focused on the new thing- and those transitions waste a lot of time.

Where multitasking does work is when you are doing something physical, like walking the dog, running on the treadmill, folding laundry or even driving. If you listen to audio books you CAN multitask and get two things done at once.

The 10 books we are going to share today are books we choose because they have the power to transform you. You may learn to see students in a new light, or understand the lives of those who come from backgrounds different than your own.

We’ll share both novels and memoirs so we have a little bit of something for everyone.

Here are our books that will help you to build empathy and transform your world view:

Demon Copperhead by Barbara Kingsolver

We both loved this book, which is a modern retake on the Charles Dickens novel David Copperfield. You don’t need to have read David Copperfield to enjoy this book. It won the 2023 Pulitzer Prize.

Kingsolver reimagines the story set in Appalachia in the 1990’s. Demon is born to a teenage drug addicted mother. We watch him grow through the years moving from foster home to foster home, being mistreated and slipping through the cracks. It is also a portrait of the opioid crisis and how people fall into drug use and become addicted and can’t get help.

Along with the negative portrayals there are people who enter Demon’s life and are good and helpful. Even the smallest acts of kindness make a difference in the life of this young boy. In particular, a pair of teachers become mentors to Demon and affect his life in positive ways. This is a modern coming of age story based on a historic writing that is sure to captive you and help you to understand a life that is likely different than your own. It is heartbreaking and hilarious at the same time. It is also expertly written by Kingsolver.

Paula: If you haven’t read David Copperfield before, I hadn’t, read this book and then go and find a summary of David Copperfield. You will be, like I was, shocked at how closely Demon Copperhead mirrors the original story, even using names that are almost the same as the original text….but not quite.  This book is a great way to get engrossed in a some intriguing characters, build some empathy, and learn the storyline of some classic literature at the same time!

Finding Me by Viola Davis

Paula: I was the one begging to have this memoir added to the list so I can talk about this one.

Besides being an Oprah’s Book Club pick and Harpers Bazaar Best Book of 2022, this is on my list for one of the best audio books of all time. Viola Davis of the How to Get Away with Murder fame, reads this book herself on the audio version if you are an audio book reader. She is one of just a few people to have one an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar and a Tony so as you can imagine, she is brilliant in reading her story.

The whole memoir is about Viola’s tough childhood and her life journey of finding her voice and her purpose when life was basically working against her. She talks in depth about teachers and mentors who brought her up and those who brought her down.

The first 30 minutes or so of the audio is heavy. Listening to her tell her childhood stories in which her racial, socioeconomic, and family struggles impacted her self-worth and identity will touch you deep in your teacher heart. Don’t give up after those tough few beginning chapters. Though she faces darkness, she is an amazing light in this world and following her on that deeply personal journey is a profound experience.

You will come out of listening to this book, or reading it, as a better person and teacher.

Remarkable Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt

Michele: I’ll start by saying that I was sure I would hate this book.

This book is unusual. It features three very different characters. The first is an elderly widow named Tova, who works nights cleaning at an aquarium. The second is a young adult named Cameron, who is drifting through life and struggling to find a meaningful path. The third is an giant pacific octopus named Marcellus, who not only talks but who is witty and bright, and amazingly perceptive.

The three connect at the aquarium, and the story develops about how they learn to understand  each other, and eventually, to help each other. I see this book as a book about not only friendship, but the power of small kindnesses. I loved that it is hopeful. In the end, I was won over and charmed by this book. The world changes when you understand that in some ways, we are all remarkable bright creatures.

Spare by Prince Harry

We both listened to this on audio, and it is worth hearing the Prince himself read this book. This is somewhat of an odd choice for us, because neither of us are big royal watchers, nor are we particularly captivated by the royal family.

Michele: What I liked about this book is how a person’s perspective frames their understanding of the world. Harry grew up extremely privileged, but in many ways, his childhood was lonely and isolated. Especially after the death of his Mother, Princess Diana, he felt isolated and alone and no one answered his questions or did anything to help him through his grief. I think that loss and that grief changed him in deep ways. I see him as a child who didn’t get the support he needed.

Paula: I also was drawn to the childhood and teen years in this memoir, honestly, much more than the adult years. It was not a story of pity, which I had feared, but instead gave us insight into a person who appears to keep it all together but who is struggling internally and also regularly within his family structure. I would guess we have many more students like Harry than meets the eye. Don’t go into this book hoping for a lot of royal dirt, because it isn’t there. What is there will captivate you if you are a teacher, or person, hoping to learn about what life is like behind the scenes that we often don’t get to see. Plus, I have to admit the British accent of Harry reading the book was lovely.

Lessons in Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus

Michele: This was one of my favorite books in the past year. It takes place in the 1960’s where Elizabeth Zott is a brilliant chemist. She isn’t “allowed” to be a chemist because she is a female, and her Ph.D. does not help her to get into a role where she can use her skills. There is a lot of prejudice against women, who at the time it was thought should be the secretaries and getting the coffee. She is constantly fighting her way, trying to hold her own in a world that doesn’t respect her mind.

Eventually, Elizabeth gets a job as a television cooking show host. This is a more palatable role for a female in society in the 1960’s, but she undermines everyone by turning her cooking show into a series of chemistry lessons. She finds a way she can empower other women and young girls in a positive way.

This book is devastating, and funny, and ultimately helps you to understand how discrimination works. It is also about the power of being your true self. She held her own doing her chemistry experiments in the living room. I loved this character.

I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy

Paula: Since I seem to be on the audio memoir kick today, I would love to talk about this one.

Do not let the title scare you away – this book is heartbreaking and funny- sometimes both at once and is worth listening to or reading.

Jeannette McCurdy was a Nickelodeon child star on iCarly and then got her own spinoff called Sam and Cat. On the surface, everything looks amazing for Jennette, who reads this story herself if you listen to it on audio. However, she suffered behind the scenes with her mother’s mental and physical abuse and her father’s neglect. She first developed anorexia as an 11 year old at the urging of her mother and viewed her body as a commodity to earn money to support her family.

Personally, I knew of these Nickelodeon shows and of McCurdy but had never really watched them. I read the book on audio at the urging of a friend and have since bought it for my niece and recommended it to my daughters. I was amazed by her grit and determination and the honest sharing of her struggles was touching. As a teacher and a parent, I thought it was amazing.

 A Prayer for Owen Meeney by John Irving

This is an older book, but one we both love. It’s the story of two boys, John and Owen, growing up together in New Hampshire in the 1950-1960s.

Owen is an amazing character, you will love him. He is a strange child with uncanny perspective.

This book grabs your attention from the moment when of the two 11 year old boys hits a foul ball in a Little League game and kills the other boys’ mother.  This is a book about finding your purpose in life, about irony, about love, and about keeping the faith. The story is told by John, as an adult, and chronicles the depth that our childhood experiences have on the rest of our lives. There is a lot to the storyline, and we don’t want to spoil it for you, but trust us when we say that this is one of those books you will miss reading when it is over.

Educated: A Memoir by Tara Westover

We both read this book a couple of years ago, and it is one of those books that stays with you.

Tara lives with her family, which we could describe as survivalist or doomsday preppers. They are isolated from others and lead very restricted lives in terms of having any connection with the outside word.

Tara does not attend school, and her education is very incomplete. At 17 she attends school for the first time when she manages to enroll in college. There she is forced to grapple with her lack of education, her lack of knowledge of society, and the repercussions of her up bringing. Eventually she makes her way to Harvard and Cambridge and earns a Ph.D. This is a story of resilience and the power of education.

 11/22/63 by Stephen King

What if you could change history?  That is what this story, by Steven King is about.

Jake, the main character of this gripping story is a high school English teacher who makes extra cash by helping adult students prep for their GED. The story involves an essay from his of the students, a local diner and the chance for Jake to time travel back to try and prevent the assignation of John F. Kennedy.

If you want to learn a little history, for example the title of the book 11.22.63 is the date of JFK’s assassination, and get wrapped up in a great story at the same time, this book is for you. It also shows the power of a relationship between a teacher and student in a way I have never read before.

A little known fact about this- Stephan King was 3 months into his first teaching job in 1971 when someone in the teachers’ lounge asked “What would it be like if JFK had lived?” King stood right there in the teacher’s lounge and thought, “I’d like to write that story.” He started, but gave up after writing 14 single spaced pages because it was going to involve too much historical research. He picked it back up 36 years later and you will be glad he did after you read this book.

 10% Happier by Dan Harris

Actually, the full title of this book describes it better: 10% Happier- How I Tamed the Voice in My Head, Reduced Stress Without Losing My Edge, and Found Self-Help That Actually Works- A True Story

Dan Harris, a former news anchor on Good Morning America and Nightline, describes his unexpected journey from drug addiction and anxiety attacks on air, to becoming a public face for mindfulness and meditation. If you have ever wondered how people become more mindful and 10% happier in their lives, check out this entertaining book. If you listen on audio, Dan reads it himself. Who doesn’t want to be 10% happier, right?

 Recap:

Don’t feel guilty if you want to spend some time with a good book. It is a form of self-care, and it might even help you understand the world in a new way. Reading can help you build empathy and understanding of people who have experienced life in a way that is different from your own.

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