Don’t Be The Colleague that Others Want to Avoid

Are you the type of colleague that others want to avoid?

Have you ever even thought about it?

Unfortunately, we have all had experiences with colleagues we’d like to avoid. You know the ones- when you see them in the hall you find that you suddenly need to duck into the restroom.

Teaching is often a fairly isolated profession. Teachers spend the bulk of their time in the classroom with their students. If you have great relationships with students, does it really matter if you get along with colleagues?

Everyone likes to work in a safe, positive, and supportive environment. Healthy relationships between colleagues help to create positive environments. Positive relationships with co-workers can also increase overall  engagement and productivity. When co-workers get along well, they experience stronger attitudes and higher motivation towards their work.

You likely have colleagues that you enjoy working with. You look forward to seeing them and are comfortable in their presence. Your meetings are productive and sometimes even fun. Close colleagues become friends and supporters. They can lift you up on days when you struggle, help you out in a pinch or surprise you with a coffee on a dreary Monday morning.

But what about the colleague that you find difficult?  This is the person that drains you and leaves you feeling frustrated or even angry.

You don’t want to BE that co-worker.

How can you know if you are a colleague that others want to avoid?

The following are traits of a difficult or even toxic colleague:

They are Energy Vampires

The energy vampire tends to be pessimistic. They’ll always see the glass half full. When there is an opportunity, they will see all the ways that it won’t work.

They Engage in Negative Talk about Students and Other Colleagues

It is true that sometimes we just need to vent to someone we trust about someone else. A Toxic colleague makes this a regular practice. Their negativity bias works on overload, allowing them to see all the ways other people are problems without seeing the  strengths that they bring.

They resist change.

The way we have always done it is fine, thanks. We tried that years ago and it didn’t work. Why reinvent the wheel?  Along with this attitude comes an unwillingness to problem solve. What’s the point?  It won’t work anyway.

They are inflexible.

Inflexible people often see the world in black and white. It is often all or nothing with this kind of person. They tend to have strict rules and never relax them. They are quick to see right or wrong and not willing to look at individual circumstances. They may also struggle with empathy, seeing someone else as wrong or bad.

They are grumpy.

You smile or say good morning and they answer with a grunt. They are irritated by cheerful people. They are not inclined to engage in social niceties. This person can easily take the wind out of your sails and change your attitude if you let them.

How to Deal with a Negative Colleague

When dealing with a negative colleague, don’t take things personally. Their attitude is not about you or caused by you. You may also not be able to change them. Do your best to stay positive and not let their energy affect your own energy. Try to reframe their statements in a productive way or at the very least, try not to perpetuate the negativity.

If you need it, keep a little mantra in your pocket:

I will not let this person drain me, frustrate me or make me angry.

I choose not to let this person change my attitude.

Are you the type of colleague that others want to avoid? Chances are, you are not a negative colleague, because if you were you would have abandoned reading this because you thought it didn’t pertain to you. Still, it never hurts to examine your own attitudes and behaviors. No one is perfect, but we can all try to be positive in our work relationships. As a result, we will be happier and more engaged in our work life.

Our best,