Season 6 Episode 93
To create your best life, build meaningful connections. Listen to this episode to find out what types of people you need and who you might be missing.
Show Notes:
Episode Summary:
Do you want to feel more alive? If so, you need to find your people. Having the right kinds of relationships can not only make us feel more alive, they can expand us and help us to grow.
In today’s episode we are talking about meaningful connections. If we want to create our best life, we need to be intentional about the types of relationships we have. Join us as we discuss the kinds of people you need in your life. Do you have the right people in your orbit? Let’s find out!
In this episode:
These show notes are not a word-by-word script fo the episode. We often give examples and tell stories to illustrate our points. For the best experience, please listen to the episode.
Introduction:
This is the third part in our series Create Your Best Life. If you haven’t listened to the earlier episodes, you might want to go back and listen to episodes 91 and 92.
In episode 91 we introduced the Create Your Best life challenge and talked about Jonathan Fields 3 buckets we all need to keep filled in order to life our best lives from his book How to Live a Good Life.
In episode 92, we talked about the vitality bucket. Today we are talking about the connections bucket.
The power of our connections
The power of having strong connections is no secret.
You all know Abraham Maslow and his hierarchy of needs. Maslow knew that belongingness and love are core needs, and they are part of the trio of essential needs which also include vital biological systems such as breathing and eating and personal safety. Without connection we have a failure to thrive.
Happiness research also validates the importance of having strong connections.
In the longest in-depth longitudinal study on human life ever done, over 85 years and counting, there was a simple and profound conclusion: good relationships lead to health and happiness.
According to Harvard research and author of The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness,
“Contrary to what many people might think, it’s not career achievement, or exercise, or a healthy diet. Don’t get us wrong; these things matter (a lot). But one thing continuously demonstrates its broad and enduring importance: Good relationships. In fact, good relationships are significant enough that if we had to take all eighty-four years of the Harvard Study and boil it down to a single principle for living, one life investment that is supported by similar findings across a wide variety of other studies, it would be this: Good relationships keep us healthier and happier. Period.”
Social Connections are also connected to our health.
- Help us fight disease
- Lowers blood pressure
- Lower stress
- Antidote for depression
- Increases high performance
- Socially isolated adults have a 2.5 times higher risk of coronary disease and early death
Clearly our connections matter.
The Connections Bucket
Jonathan Fields talks about three buckets we need to keep filled. One of these is the connections bucket. This includes family, friends, colleagues, students, community and even our spiritual connections.
Our connections give us a sense of belonging. We find laughter, unconditional love, a sense of being understood through our connections. We feel emotional safety.
The right people help us feel alive. They validate us and make us better. They help us to flourish. When we are with the right people, we are seen, heard, understood and accepted. We can access our real selves and our full potential.
What if you are missing positive connections in your life?
Without connections, we can shrink, hold back or be diminished. We are fearful of letting our true selves be known.
Problems with relationships:
- Relationships can make you feel vulnerable.
- Teacher isolation- it’s real and it’s hard.
- Lack of community or a non-supportive environment- Be careful who you share your dreams with.
- Some people in your life can’t or won’t support you.
- You don’t have to cut people out of your life, but you control how much you let them in.
- Don’t let toxic people or emotional vampires suck you dry! Set boundaries with these people.
The world may not automatically give you the environment that you need, but you can create it.
We all have the power to create the environment and the connections we need in our lives.
You don’t need an entourage, just a handful of people who understand and support you in the ways you need to be supported.
We love this quote, from a teacher friend, Dani Way Lawlor. We shared in in our book, The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.
“Find your teacher people and love them hard.
Teaching is hard and wonderful all at the same time.
No one can do it alone.
Find those people who will cry with you, let you vent,
laugh with you, help turn crazy ideas into a reality,
support you, build you up, and celebrate victories with you and hold them tight.
They are the ones who will tell you that you can do it, even when you don’t think you can!”
Dani Way-Lawler
High School Special Education Teacher
Find your people.
We need different types of support. Who can support you in the following ways? Listen to the following as think about who in your life fills this role.
Someone who cheers you on
Someone who you can confide in
Someone who can mentor you
Someone who motivates you
Someone who stretches you
Someone who brings fun
Someone who believes in your dreams
Someone who loves you unconditionally
Analyze your people with this lens:
Are these people who support me in living my best life? How?
Do I often feel energized and engaged with these people?
What kind of energy, actions, ideas, talents etc. do these people bring to my life?
Is something or someone missing? Who or what?
Recap:
At the end of the day, your people matter. Find those you can love, laugh with, cry with and those who fill you up and remind you that life is good.
Our mission at Inspired Together Teachers is to support you- we’d love to connect with you and have you join us on this journey.
Related Episodes/Blog Posts:
Episode 19 You Have the Power to Design Your Life
Episode 5 The Power of Community
Episode 20 Build Your Star System
Blog post: Use Your TEAM to Help You Thrive
Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:
Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.
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More About Inspired Together Teachers:
Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?
If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.
Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.
Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.
Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.
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