Season 8 Episode 126
Which types of conflict have you experienced? Listen to this episode to learn about the 8 common types of conflict.
Show Notes:
Episode Summary:
Conflict is a part of our daily lives, both at home and at work. Today, with our guest, professionally certified business and leadership coach Mariann Kurtz Weber, we are going to explore the common causes of conflict. This is part one of a two point series that you are not going to want to miss!
In this episode:
This is not a complete transcript of the episode. We have selected key highlights. For the best experienced, we encourage you to listen to the episode.
Introduction to Our Guest:
Mariann Kurtz Weber is a 30-year veteran in international economic development, including 20 years as a leader in the International Finance Corporation, the private sector arm of the World Bank Group. Mariann has worked with business leaders around the globe to enhance their skills and capacity, personally and corporately, to perform at their best. She is a Professional Certified Coach through the International Coaching Federation, focusing on leadership development. She recently served as the Chief Strategy Officer of Clarke University in Dubuque, Iowa, where she also developed and taught professional development courses in topics such as conflict management, leadership, and Strategic Communications, as well as MBA courses in Human Resource Management. She currently lives in Dubuque with her husband and two boys, both attending Midwest universities.
Conflict management is an everyday reality in any discipline, and Mariann feels strongly that everyone should have a basic understanding of the common sources of conflict, the five conflict resolution strategies, and their personal conflict management style.
Why Bring a Business Coach on a Teacher’s Podcast?
Michele opens by explaining that while it might seem unusual to feature a business coach on a podcast for teachers, that is was done very intentionally. As we have been our personal development journey, we have experienced many excellent personal development experiences that are routinely taught to those in the business world. In general, teachers are not receiving these kinds of trainings. We feel that teachers need this kind of information. It is part of our mission and vision for this podcast to bring these kinds of trainings to teachers. This is particularly true of this topic- conflict management. All teachers experience conflict, sometimes to a high degree.
Story of A Conflict in School
Mariann opens by discussing how she does not like conflict. Most of us do not like conflict. But the reality is that conflict is all around us. Conflict can be good, a chance to create something new. Learning about conflict in order to be innovative and creative and move forward is critical.
Marian gives an example of her son, who was assigned to make a poster at school. He was devastated and didn’t want to do it because he couldn’t draw well. He wished he could just do it on the computer. Mariann suggested that he ask the teacher if he could do the assignment on the computer, and the teacher agreed. In the end, the goal was not to get personal drawings, but to allow students to show what they know in a creative way. The teacher eventually included drawing with computers as an option for every student.
This is a great example of a conflict that was addressed in a way that was positive. Conflict can be an opportunity.
Conflicts As Patterns
We often have patterns in how we react in conflict. Sometimes there are global patterns, for example we may always show up in conflict in the same way. Sometimes the patterns are more personal and related to our personality type. They can also relate to how you react with others in relationships. For example, Mariann shared that she tends to be a giver, so she can fall into a pattern of always giving in. That may or may not be a positive pattern. Our patterns are also taught to us, we may use patterns because our parents used them and that is what we know. Those patterns could be positive or negative.
Common Causes of Conflict
Mariann shared psychologists Bell and Hart’s eight common causes of conflict in the workplace.
You can use this classification to identify possible causes of conflict. Once you’ve identified them, you can take steps to prevent conflict happening in the first place, or you can tailor your conflict resolution strategy to fit the situation.
These types of conflict are prevalent in your school, and also in your personal life.
The eight causes are:
1. Conflicting resources.
This is common in schools, because there are not enough resources. People tend to dig in and demand the resources and someone must make a decision of how the resources are divided up. There will often be a winner and a loser.
2. Conflicting styles.
This can be conflicts with a teaching partner or team. We may have different learning styles. We want to do things in different ways.
3. Conflicting perceptions.
We don’t always have all of the information, we see a situation through our lens and others see it through a different lens. Because people don’t have complete knowledge, it leads to conflict.
4. Conflicting goals.
These are longer term conflicts. For example, some want to add more AP classes while others see the need for more basic classes. People are often passionate about these goals and can often make their case.
5. Conflicting pressures.
There are conflicting tasks, and we can’t do all of them at the same time. Which task has priority?
6. Conflicting roles.
This is often unintentional. A supervisor might assign something to one person, but it is a task that someone else usually does. The goal may be good-but people aren’t clear about why the roles are being mixed up. It is often caused by a lack of communication.
7. Conflicting Values
Different personal values can create significant conflict. Our values tend to be held deeply. Our values are what make us who we are, and conflicting values requires thought. How important is the goal and how important is the relationship? People will opt out rather than compromise their values.
8. Conflicting Unpredictable Policies
Conflicting policies are often caused by inconsistency. One day a policy is upheld and another day it is not. It seems like someone is always moving the goal post. This creates chaos.
The key is, what is the root cause of conflict? Can you talk about the conflict without the emotions? Ask about the end goal. What do we both want? Is there a way for us to work together? These things are possible, but they take practice.
We have all experienced all of these types of conflict, both at work and at home.
What Are We Solving For?
Asking this question during conflict is not threatening, and allows time to take a step back and allow everyone to calm down. It focuses on the end result.
Marian gives an example of how she used this questions to come to a compromise with her son about a fishing trip. At first she was resistant, but then realized that her son just wanted to fish, and she devised a plan where she could visit with a friend while he fished. Stepping back made her realize that the goal was the relationship. She wanted them to both feel good about the decision.
Conclusion:
If people would walk away with one main idea from today, what would you want that idea to be?
We have all experienced these types of conflict, both at home and at work. You are not alone.
If we can take a step back and see what was driving that conflict, we will have insight into how to resolve the conflict. Understanding the conflict can lead to better conflict resolution.
Stay tuned next week where we will talk about strategies for conflict resolution.
Quote:
What are we solving for?
Mariann Kurtz Weber
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Bell and Hart’s Eight Causes of Conflict
Understanding the Causes of Workplace Tension
Written by the Mindtools Content Team
Link to Harvard Business School – Online — Business Insights
https://online.hbs.edu/blog/post/strategies-for-conflict-resolution-in-the-workplace
Self-assessment Conflict Management Styles (Free)
Click to access Conflict_Management_Styles_Assessment.pdf
Connect with Mariann: mkurtzweber@gmail.com
Please put the name of this podcast in the subject line.
Related Episodes/Blog Posts:
The Enneagram for Educators Types8,9, 1
The Enneagram for Educators Types 2,3,4
The Enneagram for Educators Types 5,6, 7
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