Change is Hard. Make It Easier. Prepare Yourself. Ep. 52

February 21, 2024 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Change is Hard. Make It Easier. Prepare Yourself. S.4 E.52

Check out this episode to learn ways to prepare yourself for change so that you can lessen frustration and make life easier.

Show Notes:

In this episode:

Do you struggle with change? If so, you’re not alone. Change is inevitable. Change can be good or bad, but even good change can cause us stress. How we react to change impacts our overall life and happiness. There are simple and specific solutions to this struggle. In this special four part series, we explore ways we can prepare ourselves for change, create habits and mindsets to overcome change, decide which changes are worth fighting and finally we will explore how to embrace change.

Change is coming, as much as we may want to ignore or avoid it, so we are kicking off this important series today by exploring how we can best prepare ourselves for life and work changes that are surely coming our way.

Introduction:

Imagine you are outside on a beautiful day, the weather is gorgeous and you are preparing to spend time outside with a picnic, or playing with your kids or enjoying a good book.

All of a sudden you can see and feel a storm coming. The warning signs are there- the sky is turning dark, you check your phone and the weather man tells you it is coming, and to seek shelter. What do you do?

Do you completely ignore the storm and pretend it is not coming? Do you avoid it and pull the curtains shut hoping you can wait to face it the next day? Of course not, you prepare. You think about what is best for you and your loved ones and you take action.

Change is a very similar to the storm. It is coming. Typically, though not always, there are signs to tell you that it is coming. Also, like the storm, no matter what your response is, the change is likely still going to happen. In order to protect your physical and mental health, it is important to have everything in place for change, just as you would to prepare for a storm.

It is important to stop here and note that in the storm example, change isn’t really a welcomed thing. It is messing up our carefully thought out plans and causing us distress. However, sometimes change can come in the form of a good thing, like a new baby or a new house, but even that change can be stressful and overwhelming.

New babies, can sometimes we be as loud as thunder and keep you awake in the middle of the night just like a storm. 😂

Even positive change can throw us off course.

When we have expectations for how something is going to go and it doesn’t work out the way we thought, we are disappointed. It throws us off. It’s unsettling.

Let’s go back to the storm example for a second. What do you do when the sky is black, the sirens are going off and the storm is coming closer by the second?

make sure your basic needs are met (take water and blanket with you)
you may have a habit of what you grab to take with you (flashlight, phone charger, pets, etc.)
make sure your loved ones are ok
wait in a safe place for the storm to occur
mentally prepare yourself for what you might find when you come out of the shelter

We are betting you DON’T go out and yell at the storm to stop, put your foot down and refuse to comply, or close your eyes and keep them closed while you pretend it isn’t happening.

Then, after the storm is over, you probably step back to assess if there is any damage. Let’s say there is roof damage or damage to your property, what do you do? Do you then close the curtains and ignore it forever, yell as the storm, or avoid going in your house ever again? Of course not. Instead, you accept it, call the insurance company, and call the roofers. You may even embrace that when all of this is done, you will have a new roof.

What does this all have to do with change?

We all struggle with change, it is human nature and some people struggle more than others do. You may even struggle with a change you are looking forward to but you get overwhelmed with the implementation.

However, in this series, we will challenge you to identify and work through steps similar to those you would take before, during and after a storm and use of those same steps as guidelines to overcome change.

This leads to our 4 part series, Change is hard; make it easier.

In today’s episode, we start at the beginning. The “before the storm but when you can see it coming” stage.

We will tackle what you can do when you anticipate change is coming and the steps you can take to prepare for it. Just like grabbing all of your supplies and finding shelter from the storm, you can prepare for change in a way that will lessen, or potentially even help you alleviate, any potential negative impacts when the change actually comes.

Identify if it is an “A” level change or a “B” level change. Don’t let “A” level change take on the strength of “B” level change.

There are two different types of change- “A” and “B”.

“A” level changes are the big changes- marriage, divorce, birth, death, new job, new house, new town, or being dismissed from your job.

“B” level changes might be a new co-worker, new friend in your circle, a new neighbor, being moved to a different grade level or a new team, or being given a new student in the middle of a school year.

Sometimes, in the absence of “A” level changes, “B” level changes can take on the strength of “A” level changes.

Has that ever happened to you?

It’s all about perspective. For example, moving to a new school location shouldn’t be a major life event. Yet you may fear the change, and build it up in your mind until it becomes a major event. What was a “B” level change has become an “A” level change, causing much unnecessary stress.

This idea of A and B level changes also applies to perfectionism. Some people think everything is an “A” level and requires “A” level perfection. Somethings are “B” level and deserve “B” level attention. Some things are even “C” level and deserve very average attention.

We can have a lot of anxiety over the wrong things. An argument with another teacher is not the end of the world, nor is it deserving of weeks full of sleepless nights. It is a “B” level situation and deserves “B” level attention.

When you feel like something is an “A” problem, step back and ask if it really is an “A” level problem. Take a deep breath, and look over your shoulder. Is there a life-threatening animal or event behind you? Lion? Dinosaur? No. Good. Now do the other shoulder. Then look up, down, etc. Take a deep breath each time. It will calm you down and make you think more rationally.

Another idea is to ask yourself, how much will this will matter in one year, or five years or ten years. If the answer is not much, you are probably overreacting and that causes stress.

We challenge you, the next time you see a change coming, to decide if you should prepare for an “A” level change or if you are okay preparing for a “B” level change.

Bringing it back to the storm analogy- don’t spend the time and energy preparing for the “tornadoes” when you really only need to prepare you and your loved ones for the “mild thunderstorm.”

Identify the change for what it is (real and coming) and plan accordingly.

How do you typically react when you see or feel that change is on the horizon?

Do you tell yourself to just “deal with it until it blows over?” All too often, we see change as temporary so we just decide to temporarily “deal with it” but most of the time it is not temporary. Change usually stays for awhile until another change arrives.

Or maybe you are just in denial and pretend it isn’t happening. This is like little kids playing peek a boo and thinking no one can see them if their eyes are closed. It is easy to do the same thing with change. If I don’t talk about it, or look at it closely, maybe it will go away.

However, when we are pretending the change is temporary or are in denial, we are only putting off the inevitable and causing ourselves more unneeded stress in the process. We do ourselves and everyone around us a favor when we acknowledge the change that is coming, accept it as real and then make plans to deal with it.

The longer you wait, the harder it can become to prepare for that upcoming change.

Another way of preparing for change is to accept the change is coming and adjust accordingly.

In an article from Psychology Today, Dr. Stephanie Sarkis suggests you step outside of the situation and say to yourself, “Things are changing, and it’s okay”.

That is definitely preparing yourself. Saying something out loud can help to make it real and help you put your preemptive thoughts and actions in order. “Thinks are changing, and it’s okay”.

Another suggestion, this one from Dan Miller, is useful for when things might be changing in a way that seems to be difficult or negative is to ask yourself, “What does this make possible?”. It is like the old saying when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

Acknowledging what is happening can be so much less stressful than putting things off or pretending things aren’t changing.

You can also prepare for change by becoming the initiator of change.

Some people like change and see it as generally positive. By being the one to initiate change, you keep the power.

Even if you are the one who wants the change and is leading the charge, there are struggles that come with that role. You need to recognize peoples’ fears, reassure them, and give them to the tools to navigate the change.

Often when there is a change, people are fearful because they don’t know how to address the things that are changing. They need support and education. Those are things you can prepare for ahead of time. If you are leading the change, you need to be prepared to support those who are involved.

For example, when there is a new curriculum and the district expects it to be implemented fully immediately, teachers often struggle. They need time to learn the new curriculum, to write lesson plans and to access the new materials.

If you can anticipate the needs, you can prepare people to meet those needs.

What skills or strategies can you apply to the upcoming change?

A final suggestion for preparing yourself for change is to examine the ways you deal with discomfort in your life in general.

If you are wondering how you can best prepare for upcoming changes, examine the different ways you deal with discomfort in your life. What works for you? What kinds of things help you cope with stress in general?

Consider what you do when a friend lets you down, when your feelings are hurt, or when you don’t get that job you wanted. Think about what you do when you have physical discomfort. Maybe you “walk it off” by taking a walk or getting a massage. Maybe you talk through your hopes and dreams and fears with a friend over a cup of coffee.

Write down the ways you deal best with discomfort and then pull that list out the next time you are feeling unsettled by change. You will be surprised by how the ways you already deal with discomfort will work when you are preparing for upcoming change. Maybe you talk through your hopes and fears with a friend over a cup of coffee. Perhaps you deal with difficult circumstances by writing about it. Writing often helps people figure out what they really think. It is a way of accessing your inner wisdom.

When we see change coming, it can be tempting to put your foot down and resist, or lay your head down and do your best to ignore the change. You might also choose to accept the change or even lead the change. But change IS happening so preparing ourselves for when it happens is an important first step for our physical and mental health.

Make sure to tune in to our next 3 episodes for the other 3 stages in overcoming our struggles with change.

Recap:

It is not a question about whether or not change is coming, it is. The question is, “How will you prepare yourself for it?”. In this episode, we have explored ways you can identify whether the change is “A” level or “B” level and act accordingly. We’ve looked at ways to acknowledge that the change is coming and then take strategies you already have for dealing with discomfort and apply them to change. You might also initiate change, and if so, you need to be prepared to support others through the change. Just like preparing for an impending storm helps you once the storm hits, preparing for change sets you on the right track to lessening or avoiding the struggle of change when that inevitable change occurs.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

10 Ways to Cope With Big Changes | Psychology Today

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

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If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Teaching With Heart E. 51

February 14, 2024 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Teaching With Heart S. 4 Ep. 51

If you’re teaching with heart, you’re bound to feel strong emotions. Listen to this episode to learn how to stay heart centered while keeping your emotions in balance.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

When you’re teaching with heart, you are bound to get burned. You’re also bound to feel deep pride, satisfaction, and joy. How do you teach with heart and keep your emotions in check? In this episode, we explore what happens when heart centered teachers experience strong emotions and steps to take to help you balance those strong emotions.

In this episode:

The following show notes are a summary of the podcast. To hear the entire discussion including the examples and stories, please listen to the podcast episode.

Introduction:

We’re in a helping profession, which means we may feel emotions more deeply than those in other careers.

Every educator we know will tell you that they put their heart into their job everyday. Not only do teachers invest their time and energy into their jobs, they make a personal investment- sharing their emotions and helping their students process their big emotions.

You feel emotions strongly because of the passion you bring to the job, but also because of the challenges you face. You also invest in your students emotionally.

What a gift and responsibility it is to impact so many students daily. It’s no wonder we can run the gamut of emotions.

Today we’re going to explore a few of the emotional extremes that teachers feel daily, hourly and sometimes even by the minute. We are sure you can relate to the extremes of pride and disappointment, hope and fear, connection and isolation, and love and heartbreak.

As we explore these extreme emotions, we’ll also share some ways to navigate our emotions in order to maintain a sense of balance for ourselves.

Emotional Extreme #1: Pride and Disappointment

It is possible to feel both pride and disappointment as a teacher.

When our students succeed academically, whether they master a skill, or when we witness an a-ha moment, we sometimes swell with pride to the point we feel like we may burst.

Who doesn’t love to see the wins, the progress, the content or skill growth students make?

However, we can also feel disappointment if a student works hard to achieve a goal and then falls short. We all know that sinking feeling of watching a student realize that they failed a high stakes test or failed to meet an expectation they were sure they would meet. Our heart hurts with them.

We can also feel pride and disappointment in ourselves and our impact in the classroom. We feel pride when a group of students achieves something that they didn’t think possible and we know that we played a part in getting them there.

Those are the days when we love our jobs and love knowing that we are making an impact!

We can also feel disappointed in our impact when a student, or group of students, doesn’t seem to be progressing despite our best efforts.

There are many other scenarios daily that set teachers up to feel either pride or disappointment. Consider your classroom’s commitment to the community, the impact of a lesson plan you poured your heart and soul into, awards and recognitions, and student feedback. All of these have the possibility to stir up emotions of pride or disappointment.

Emotional Extreme #2: Hope and Fear

Hope and fear are another set of emotional extremes that teachers can vacillate between or feel simultaneously.

As a group, teachers are hopeful people. If teachers lacked hope, there wouldn’t be much point in teaching the students that enter into their classrooms. Teachers derive hope from the belief that the efforts they make each day will make a positive impact on the students they teach and society as a whole.

Each year brings a new promise and we are hopeful for the success and well-being of each of our students and the classroom community as a whole. We hope that we will have supportive parents, like-minded colleagues, supportive administrators, and that we will be appreciated for their efforts. There is so much to be hopefully for. Teaching, unlike many other professions, begins with a fresh start each August and that causes us to feel renewed hope each year.

However, fear can accompany that hope, lurking in the background. We fear that we will not be able to reach some of the tough students. We fear the pressures that society puts on teachers, and in some cases we may fear for our physical or psychological safety.

Teachers are continually impacted by policy changes beyond their control and we fear the implications, as we are on the front line of the implementation and can see devastation that others may not see.

Under all of this pressure, we can be afraid of our own personal burnout or watching our colleagues burnout.

Sometimes, it can be helpful to explicitly list our hopes and our fears. Under each of the hopes and fears, list a few indicators that would let you know if what you are hoping for or what you are fearing are becoming a reality. For example, if you fear that your school may become an unhealthy place to work, write down indicators that would let you know that it is unhealthy. Then watch your list for any red flags that indicate your fears are coming true. Or if you hope to build healthy relationships with your new grade-level teaching team this year, write down exactly what that would look like. Then, once you have met those indicators, you will know that your hope has become a reality.

There is a lot of power in writing things down so you can keep them in the front of your mind.

Emotional Extreme #3: Connection and Isolation

Teachers feel connected when they are part of a community with a shared purpose. That might be a content team, a grade level team, your PLC, a district faculty, or maybe a sense of community with a shared purpose that occurs with your students in your classroom. Wherever that collaborative environment occurs, that is where you can feel connected in your work.

You have all likely felt this sense of community. We see it when teachers talk about “my team”, or “our school”.

Teachers have a special bond that connects them across time and space. The more teachers have a space and opportunity for communication, collaboration and a feeling of empowerment, the more they will feel connected.

Have you ever been to a “teacher party?” You run into another teacher and almost instantly start talking about school or your students or issues that affect educators. It is like we can’t help it- we have found our people in the room!

On the other hand, teachers can also feel extremely isolated. In fact, teaching is one of the most isolating professions. Teachers are in rooms, often with the door shut, away from other professionals for the majority of their day. Unlike people in other professions who can walk next door to their colleague’s office or cubicle as their leisure throughout the day, teachers are limited in their freedom and ability to communicate with colleagues.

In order to feel more connected, and less isolated, take steps to build connections with other teachers. Schedule a fun outside-of-work event like attending a trivia night or pottery painting class with your colleagues. Host a fiction book club in your classroom one day after school or find another way to increase your connection with colleagues and to decrease those feelings of isolation.

It takes some work, and you probably think you don’t have time for those kinds of social things, but those opportunities will help you stay engaged and do a good job of making your work easier as you realize that you are not alone. It is good for your mental health to engage with a supportive community.

Emotional Extreme #4: Love and Heartbreak

Finally, it is common for teachers to feel the extreme emotions of love and heartbreak.

One of the most rewarding aspects of being a teacher is the love we feel for our students.

We see this example, sadly, in the case of school shootings. Teachers readily and willingly will put the lives of their students in their own hands and sacrifice for them. You don’t do that unless there is love there.

The bonds we feel with our students are not easily broken and they transcend time and space. The memories of our students can warm our hearts for years.

You may also feel love for the profession of teaching. Though it can be difficult work, you may find yourself overwhelmed at times by how grateful you are to be doing meaningful work that you love. You have the privilege of watching lots of young people learn and grow and knowing that you nurtured a part of that growth…year after year. You are etched in their memories and they in yours.

A quote by author Scott Hayden summarizes this well, “Teachers have three loves: love of learning, love of learners, and the love of bringing the first two loves together.”

However, when we invest so much of our hearts into someone or something, there is always the potential for heartbreak. You may be heartbroken by the struggles you see your students face daily or the lack of resources they have at home or in your school.

In addition, lack of support or systematic issues that you see hurting students can be absolutely soul crushing. Witnessing the injustice and inequities of the educational system can lead you to tears and feeling devastated. You may cry as you send students home for the night or home for the summer, wondering who will look out for them when you are not there.

If you find yourself feeling moments of love, savor those. If they are in the form of a student note or letters, save them in a special place. We both have a folder/box called Positive Notes for Days that I Really Need Them. We suggest you get one too. You can look at it on the days that your heart is breaking.

If you find yourself unsettled in the heartbreak of inequities, search out ways to advocate. Advocacy groups are always willing to accept volunteers and you may be just the person they are looking for.

It is no wonder that we can feel emotionally exhausted at the end of the day. There is a good chance that you could feel any or all of these emotional extremes in a day in the life of being a teacher. Our hope for you it that you can embrace the good, and utilize the strategies we suggested to address the bad, or find some other way to balance the two that works for you.

We leave you with this quote from NBA start Ray Allen, “Everything I know now…the pitfalls, the highs and lows, everything…it taught me and made me stronger.”

Recap:

As an educator, you make a personal investment in your students so it makes sense that you can feel many strong emotions. Extremes of pride and disappointment, hope and fear, connection and isolation, and love and heartbreak are regular occurrences for teachers. As you consider the emotional extremes in your teaching, remember to savor the positive emotions and consider ways to navigate the emotions that hurt in order to maintain a sense of balance in your life.

Quote:

“Teachers have three loves: love of learning, love of learners, and the love of bringing the first two loves together.”

Scott Hayden

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Positive Notes for Days I Really Need Them

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Teaching with Laughter and Tears Ep. 50

February 7, 2024 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Teaching with Laughter and Tears S. 4 E. 50

Check out this episode to learn how both laughter and crying are good for you and how to find more laughter in your life and classroom.

Show notes:

Episode summary:

Have you laughed at school recently? Have you cried? The acts of both laughing and crying have a significant impact on our physical and psychological health. Both laughter and tears help us to regulate our minds and bodies. Laughing and crying are gifts that our body gives to all of us to help us respond to life’s challenges and celebrations. In this episode we will explore why we laugh and cry, how laughing and crying are good for us, and how you can add more laughter to your life and classroom.

In this episode:

The following is an outline of the things we discussed in the show. To hear all of the stories and examples, please listen to the podcast episode.

Introduction:

Laughing and crying are some of our body’s most authentic responses. When you think about it, both laughing and crying are fascinating ways that our subconscious helps us to regulate our bodies and emotions and respond to the negative and positive events of our lives.

Laughter and tears are a universal language, transcending culture and language boundaries. Laughter and tears are a baby’s first language no matter where in the world they are born.

Though laughter and tears may seem like contradictory responses, they both happen subconsciously to help us navigate our world. Even if we often give little thought to the benefits of laughter and tears, we truly need both.

For those of you who teach littles, you know that both laughing and crying are a daily activity. Children and teens often do both, and regularly have the bonus of laughing so hard that they cry.

However, as we get older, and life takes on a more adult and serious tone, we make conscious efforts to control these emotions, attempting to keep more of a middle ground- decreasing the open flow of tears in front of others and controlling the laughter.

As grown-ups, our bursts of laughter are often reserved for especially fun or funny events. We often save our tears until we are alone. We no longer roll on the floor laughing about a knock-knock joke with pure abandon like we did as a second grader, nor do we burst out into tears when we are disappointed with an answer someone gives us like we did as pre-teens. That is all good, as it helps us to stay within the norms that society sets. However, by stifling these responses we can also stifle why our bodies need these reactions to help us cope with life.

On average, people laugh a half million times in their lifetime. Children laugh about 400 times per day. Adults only laugh approximately 20 times per day. Some studies even suggest that adults laugh on average only 8 times per day! How sad is that?

Why do we adults laugh so little compared to children?

Mainly, it’s because we have less opportunities and society is less forgiving of adults with extreme emotions than we are for kids. So, as adults we try and stifle those giggles in a meeting because we don’t want to appear that we don’t have our emotions under control or we avoid crying in the principal’s office because we don’t want to appear emotionally weak.

Natalie Dattilo, an Instructor of Psychology in Harvard Medical School’s Psychology Department gives reasoning as to why adults don’t laugh enough. As she told the Harvard Gazette, “As adults, we don’t laugh nearly as much as we used to. The idea that we would have fun, play, and make time for those things is often seen as a reward or something you have to earn or something you do when the work is done. But the work is never done.”

Today we’re going to explore the bodily reactions that cause us to laugh and cry, the benefits to our bodies of laughing and crying, and ways that we can add more laughter to our lives.

Why we laugh and cry

Laughing and crying are our body’s way of regulating our emotions and processing the events of our lives. Because we are humans, it is natural to have emotions. Joy and sorrow are two of those crucial emotions. Laughter and crying are our bodies’ natural tendencies to express joy and sadness.

Though they look and sound different on the surface, both laughing and crying provide the same kind of psychological and physical stress release. They both help us to end the stress cycle. For more detailed information about the stress cycle, listen to Episode 7, Prevent, Eliminate and Reduce Stress.

There are several parts of your brain that work together to connect your emotions and the physical reactions to them such as laughing and crying. In order to laugh and cry your brain’s limbic system, brainstem, cerebral cortex and hypothalamus must all work together to get those muscles moving to produce the sound of laughter or the falling of tears. How cool that our body and brain know how important laughter and crying are to our well-being!

Laughing and crying are both byproducts of our body’s defense mechanism. So when we are feeling stressed, uncomfortable, overwhelmed in a negative way, overwhelmed in a positive way, full or joy or whatever big emotion we are feeling, the act of laughing or crying helps our body to release the energy building up in our system. This is our body’s unconscious attempt to regulate all that energy.

Sometimes, you don’t even need to feel the strong emotion to start laughing. Sometimes just hearing another person laughing can cause you to laugh too. People laugh about 30 times more when they are with other people than when they are alone. That is what the phrase “laughter is contagious” matters so much.

It is also true that we tend to mirror others so if you spend a lot of time with people who are sad, you are more likely to feel sad yourself. You’ve heard the expression misery loves company. It’s called mood contagion.

Do you remember the old Saturday Night Live character Debbie Downer played by Rachel Dratch? She was so pessimistic that no one wanted to be around her because she would bring the mood down. Today, the label “Debbie Downer” has come to mean anyone who negatively affects the mood of a space.

Keep that in mind, you probably don’t want to become a Debbie Downer!

The benefits of laughing and crying

The benefits of crying

You’ve probably heard someone say, “It’s nothing a good cry wouldn’t help.” When we cry, we release certain chemicals into our body. Of most importance, when we cry we release endorphins that reduce our pain and make us feel better. This doesn’t work for the tears we shed when we cut onions or get dirt in our eyes, but is it true for tears we cry that are associated with our emotions. There are numerous studies that indicate that letting out sad emotions with tears is better for our mental health than suppressing them.

Have you ever been holding in an emotion and then just had a good, long cry? Did you notice how much lighter you felt afterwards? Getting those emotions out through tears feels so much better than suppressing them for long periods of time.

The benefits of laughing.

You have likely heard someone say, “Laughter is the best medicine”. When we laugh, our body decreases stress hormones like adrenaline, epinephrine, and cortisol. Decreasing stress hormones is good for our heart and boosts our immune system. It can reduce the tension in our bodies and can also help to improve our mood. Laughter can decrease our heart rate and blood pressure and can relax tense muscles. And the best part is that laughter improves our mood and lowers stress and anxiety almost immediately!

Laughing, like crying, also releases endorphins into our brain that make us feel good. These endorphins can reduce pain and give us an overall sense of well-being. Some studies even show that laughter increases cells in our bodies that remove bacteria which can then help prevent cancer and inflammatory diseases. Laughter also fills us dopamine and oxytocin which is considered the “empathy hormone.”

Did you know that when you laugh, you move about 30 facial muscles at the same time? And if you have a hearty, cheerful laugh, you move a third of the muscles in your body. All those muscles moving, and the air flow that increases the motion of your diaphragm, supplies oxygen and blood throughout your body which helps your digestive system and metabolism.

There is a doctor, Patch Adams, a real person played by Robin Williams a movie, who believes that our physical wellness is highly connected to our emotional wellness. He uses humor and comedy as part of his treatment. He believes that laughter can actually help physically heal us.

How to add more laughter to your life

You know yourself best and you understand your sense of humor better than anyone. So you need to cater this to yourself but here are just a few suggestion for adding more laughter to your life.

1. Add opportunities for play, silliness and creativity in your life.

Buy your family that new board game you saw advertised. Family game night is sure to bring about some smiles and laughter. Bring your friends together for a movie and snack night. Pick a movie that cracks you up every time you see it. You might even want to add a silly theme. Go with your friends to that cake decorating class, even if you know your cake will be a disaster. In fact, a “cake fail” may bring about more laughter and smiles than a beautifully decorated cake.

Remember the Pinterest fail Easter cake tht was all over social media a few years ago? The original post was by someone who had made a beautiful cake in the shape of lamb. Then when others tried, they failed miserably and posted their pictures of their lambs that were lopsided and had no neck and just looked ridiculous. It was very funny!

2. Smile more and make efforts to laugh.

Faking a smile can cause your body to smile more; faking a laugh, will actually rewire your brain to let you know that it is okay to laugh. Then you will laugh more. Smiling is a great place to start because smiling is the first step of laughter. Smile more, laugh more, even if it doesn’t come naturally. The more you smile and laugh, the more you rewire your brain. Today is a great day to start that new habit.

Can’t think of anything that will make you smile quickly? Do quick internet search for funny cat videos or look at photos of a fun vacation. You can also watch a laughter yoga video on you tube. Laughter yoga is best done in a group but in the absence of a group of people, a YouTube video will suffice.

3. Incorporate humor into your classroom.

When the kids laugh, laugh with them. We have so much to learn about laughing freely from kids. Incorporate jokes, play silly songs, have kids debate humorous topics. Who would be a pickier house guest, Sponge Bob or Minnie Mouse? Why? Incorporate a joke of the day or have a joke book handy for times when you have a free minute.

You could also show a short, funny video. We Are Teachers has a blog post called 25 School-Appropriate Funny Videos for Kids When You Have 5 Free Minutes. This is an excellent resource because they compiled short funny videos that could be shown in any classroom.

We also have a very popular post on our blog called 8 Simple Ways to Create a Joyful Classroom. There are some fun ideas in there as well.

Maya Angelou once said, “Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself and one’s fellow human beings.”

There is an old Joni Mitchell song from the 1970s in which she sings, “Laughing and crying, you know it’s the same release.” Joni was on to something before she had neuroscience to back her up. We now know how good both crying and laughing are for us. Welcome the tears when they come. Increase the laughter in your life. Your body and mind will thank you.

Recap:

Laughter and tears are both good for us. They are our way of regulating our minds and our bodies. The next time you need to cry or give a good belly laugh, remember that you are doing your body good. Laughter really is the best medicine so look for ways to add laughter to your life and your classroom. Your body will thank you!

Quote:

“Laugh as much as possible, always laugh. It’s the sweetest thing one can do for oneself and one’s fellow human beings.”

Maya Angelou

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Tips for Giving and Receiving Advice Ep. 49

January 31, 2024 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Tips for Giving and Receiving Advice

S. 4 E. 49

Listen to this episode to learn what to do when you are the receiver of unsolicited advice and how to best give advice that will be welcomed by others.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In the last day, week or month, how many times have you been given advice at work or in your personal life? How many times have you given advice to someone else in this same time period? In this episode, we will explore what to do when you are the receiver of unsolicited advice and what you can do make sure the advice you give is useful and welcomed.

In This Episode:

The following show notes are a summary of the content we discussed on the podcast. In order to hear all of the discussion and examples, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Advice. We have all given it and we have all received it. Sometimes, we ask for advice. For example, you may ask your mentor or friend for advice on a new skill you are learning that they have mastered and you want to learn from them so you don’t make the same mistakes.

Often, advice is unsolicited, meaning the receiver of the advice did not ask for it. In all likelihood, the person giving the advice had good intentions but the effect on the receiver is often stress or feelings of shame or being judged.

You can see why advice giving and receiving can easily lead to hard feelings and miscommunication, though that is rarely the intention.

Today we’re going to explore the reasons people give unsolicited advice, how you best respond to advice, and how to most effectively give advice that will be welcomed when you have ideas to share.

Why do people give unsolicited advice?

The majority of the time, unsolicited advice is not meant to be harmful, in fact the person giving that advice probably thinks they are being very helpful. They often walk away from the conversation feeling like they did a good thing. But that is usually not what the receiver feels. It is common for the receiver of the advice to feel irritated, judged or criticized.

Paula: I can think of lots of times that has happened to me. The situations that pop into my mind first are all from the years that my husband and I struggled with infertility. The unsolicited advice came almost daily, “If you would just relax it would happen. You aren’t relaxed enough.” “You need to try this supplement.” “You are going to which doctor? Oh no, you need to go to the doctor my cousin went to. She got pregnant right away. You just need to switch doctors.”

Though none of these people had seen any of the test results, nor did they understand the hundreds of hours and procedures we had already done to try and remedy the infertility, they were quick to offer me quick fixes that were sure to work. These were NOT bad people. Though some did not know me well, most knew and loved us.

We regularly give advice on this podcast. We mean for it to be helpful, but we also have an explicit understanding that you are allowed to accept or implement it, or not. We also try to follow some of the of the best practices for giving advice we’ll talk about in a minute.

So why, if advice can sometimes be hurtful, do people give it?

Here are just a few of the most common reasons people give unsolicited advice.

People just want to help.

They want to make your life easier and the only way they think they can help you is to share information with you through advice, especially if you are talking with them about a problem you are having.

Consider this example. Imagine you are a new teacher. You share with the teacher across the hall that you are struggling with a particular student. You aren’t asking advice you are just sharing what that student is doing in class that is disruptive. However, the veteran teacher starts giving you point after point of unsolicited advice.

By the time you walk away from the conversation, you are doubting your ability to teach as you clearly don’t know as much as she does. The veteran teacher walks away feeling that even though she can’t be in the classroom to help you, she shared some of her best wisdom and feels like she has mentored you in some small way.

They are trying to be friendly and make a connection.

For some reason, giving advice has become a conversation starter in our society.

Imagine the new mother in the grocery store line with the crying baby in her cart. She is already stressed. The woman behind her feels bad for the new mother, wants to be friendly and make a connection but doesn’t know where to start. So, she decides to talk about the crying baby by giving advice. “My daughter used to cry like that all the time too. Do you know what worked for me? I …..”

The new mother walks away feeling judged on her mothering abilities and the woman who gave the advice walks away feeling glad that she could pass along her wisdom to the new mother.

They have a similar experience they want to share with you.

Your experience made a connection in their brain or heart and they want to share but don’t know how to do that in a better way than giving you advice. When this happens, you can often feel like your story or problems were hijacked or one-upped by the advice giver.

Imagine you are sharing a story with your friend about an in-law you find difficult to deal with. The friend responds with, “I had the same issue with my in-law. They did ….. so here is what I did to remedy that…You should try it too.”

You feel like your story was cut off and hijacked by the advice giver. The advice giver often walks away feeling like it was a nice conversation over your shared experiences.

In all of these examples, there was no ill-intent on the part of the advice giver. Their motivations are sincere and they truly believe that they are helping you or making a deeper connection with you.

That is not to say there is never ill-intent on the advice giver’s part. You will have people in your life who give advice for selfish or cruel reasons, like to put you down or to create drama, but those instances are hopefully few and far between.

How to respond to unsolicited advice.

Just because someone gives you unsolicited advice, it does not mean you need to take it. When you are given unsolicited advice, here are a few suggestions on how to best respond:

Remind yourself of their intentions. Do you think they were trying to judge you or make you feel bad? Probably not.
Be mindful to not receive the advice for more than it was. It can be easy to perceive the advice as judgement, a put down or a slap in the face. Label the advice for what it is- someone caring enough to try and help you. Looking at it from that way can feel less stinging.
Decide if the advice really is helpful or not. If we don’t even consider it, we may be missing out on something that could actually help us. If it is helpful, or parts of it are helpful, pick the parts that you want to consider and let the rest go.
Don’t assume you already know everything and don’t be quick to dismiss their advice just because you didn’t ask for it. There may a lot you can learn from the person giving the advice. You may even want to have further conversations with them where you do solicit their advice.
Thank them for caring. Their advice came from a place of caring, once you remind yourself of that, you can also thank them for caring. They will likely be thrilled that you noticed their caring.
Set up boundaries for future advice. You can say something like, “Thank you for caring. Those are helpful ideas. If I need any more ideas, I will be sure to come to you and ask for them.” This switches the dialogue to one that you can control.

How to give advice that will be useful and welcome.

We have discussed why people give advice, and what to do if you are the receiver of unsolicited advice, so now let’s talk about when you have advice to give.

Giving advice, even unsolicited advice, can be helpful to others if given in the right way.

An article in the Harvard Business Review, entitled The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice, pulled together what they considered best practices for seeking and giving advice based on academic research and practical wisdom from people who are actually doing the work, including educators.

The Harvard Business Review’s 5 stages for best advice giving:

1. Finding the right fit.

Make sure the giver and receiver are a good match and have the other’s best interests at heart. The better the understanding of what the people and the situation need, the better the fit. Decide if you are right fit for giving advice or if there is someone who could better help them.

2. Developing a shared understanding.

Ask the person what they want or need. Once you have a shared understanding of what the other person wants and needs, you can decide what role you can or should play in advice giving.

3. Crafting Alternatives.

Approach this with problem solving mindset. Remember that your experience or opinion are just one of many. The Harvard Business Review suggests that you think of yourself as a driving instructor. They say that “while you provide oversight and guidance, your ultimate goal is to empower the seeker to act independently.”

4. Converging on a decision.

It may not be your job to help the person come to a decision. Encourage the person to seek multiple opinions before making a choice. If they are trying to come to a decision, ask them how you can help. If they are trying to solve a problem, and seem to be listening to your advice, pause to see how they gauge how comfortable they are with the advice they are getting. If they seem uncomfortable with the advice, stop giving it.

5. Putting the advice into action.

When you are the person giving advice, you should step back at this stage. If it is your boss, this may not be a choice. Sometimes, a principal will tell you what to do. But in general, the actions that the person takes, or does not take, are theirs not yours. This is important so they can take accountability for their own actions and so they don’t blame you if the advice does not work.

Whether you are the giver or the receiver of advice, the most important this is to remember the perspective of the other person and the impact that you are having on them. Be mindful of what is shared, how it is shared, and the well-meaning intention behind the advice.

We end with a well know quote that summarizes advice giving, “Be sincere when giving advice and humble when receiving advice.”

Recap:

Before we go into the recap, if this topic is of interest to you and you would like to explore it more, check out episode 33 where we discussed intent versus impact.

Advice, often unsolicited, occurs regularly in our work and home environments. The majority of the time, unsolicited advice is not meant to be harmful, in fact the person giving that advice probably thinks they are being very helpful. Knowing how to accept that advice, and making sure you are giving useful advice yourself, can eliminate hard feelings and misunderstandings.

Quote:

“Be sincere when giving advice and humble when receiving advice.”

Ancient Islamic saying

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Art of Giving and Receiving Advice– Harvard Business Review

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired Together Teachers Podcast Episode 33 Intent vs Impact

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Time Hacks for Busy Teachers Ep. 48

January 24, 2024 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Time Hacks for Busy Teachers S. 4 E. 4

Listen to this episode to learn more about ways you can make the best use of your time in order to avoid the frustration and overwhelm of not getting things done.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you often feel too busy, overwhelmed with things to do, and over extended? Are you fueled by caffeine, using sugar as a quick boost or living on adrenalin? If so, you might benefit from these time hacks that will allow you to make the best of your time and take control of your to-do list.

In this episode:

The following is a summary of the content in this episode. To hear all of the examples and stories, please listen to the podcast episode.

Introduction:

So many of us are chronically exhausted with all the things we have to do. Do you feel like you never get enough done? Are you constantly putting out little fires everywhere? Are you over committed and overscheduled?

Other signs that you might be out of control with your time is that you put things off to the last minute, creating stress and urgency as you rush to get them done. Likewise, you may speed while driving to avoid running late. You find yourself procrastinating not because you don’t want to do the things you need to do, but because you don’t even know where to start.

Dealing with a constantly overloaded system causes adrenalin to keep running through your body. Adrenalin is great, and it helps keep us safe in times of disaster or when we are in true danger. But when we aren’t in danger, it just overloads our system. We stay in fight or flight mode which causes chronic stress.

If you want to know more about that, listen to episode 16, Real Self Care, where we talk about ways to stop stress hormones from flooding your system.

We’re all been overloaded and stressed by our work load. We’re talking you today not because we have totally mastered time, but because it is regularly something that we think about and plan for.

Today we’re going to share some time hacks that might help you get back in control of your time.

Time hack #1: Eliminate distractions and interruptions.

Every time your brain switches from one activity to another, it takes up to 15 minutes to adjust to the new task and then back to the first task as we refocus. That’s inefficient. When we are busy, it is tempting to try to juggle several different activities at once, but means nothing is getting our best attention.

It’s possible to control the disruptions with a few of these ideas:

Turn your phone on silent when you are working. You don’t always need to answer the phone when it rings! Likewise with computer notifications.
Close your door when you are trying to get serious work done. It prevents the coworker from stopping in to chat during your prep time.
Watch how often you are scrolling on your phone. Scrolling is a serious time disrupter. You think you’re taking a break and then you look up and 30 minutes have passed.
Try using the Pomodoro technique where you focus on one task for 25 minutes before you take a five minute break.
Check email a couple of times a day, rather than checking it constantly. There is always going to be something new in your in box, but you rarely need to see it right away. You can set an auto responder that tells parents what times you will check your email and when they can expect a response from you.
Turn off push notifications on your phone and computer.

It is a great idea to control your time where you can.

Another way to get on top of your to-do lists is to use batching.

Time hack #2: Learn to batch tasks.

Batching tasks means that you put like items together and then handle them all at once.

Many of you already know that food prepping on the weekends makes your week run more smoothly and help you eat better. Apply that same idea to other tasks.

Instead of going to copy something every time you need copies, try to make all of your copies for the week ahead of time.

Put all your errands together and run them at the same time.

The same principal works with home chores too. It may seem easier to throw in a load of laundry every day, but it adds to your mental load every time you do it. You might actually save time or energy if you do it all on the same evening or weekend morning.

Consider how you can save time or mental energy by batching your tasks.

Time hack #3: Set up an environment for success.

You probably spend most of your time in one of three environments, your home, your classroom, or your car.

Consider how these spaces support you. How do you feel when you are in your spaces?

At home, are things fairly organized so you can find what you need easily? Is it over stimulating with too much stuff?

Is your home calm and relaxing or chaotic? What could you do at home that would support you throughout the week? Play soft music? Light a candle? Have dinner ready in the crock pot?

The same ideas work at school. Is it time for cleaning out and organizing the things in your room? Do you need a refresh? Is your classroom full of visual clutter that stresses you out? Try taking a few things off the walls. Over stimulus causes you to fight to attend to things. Some students are very susceptible to too much stimulus and it can act on their nervous system in a detrimental way.

Don’t forget your car. How does that environment support you? Could you pack your bags and put them in the car the night before? Keep your gym bag in the car, filled and ready to go? Keep an extra phone cord in the car for when your phone drains down?

It is difficult to relax and unwind on your drive home from work if you are surrounded by empty coffee cups and the French flies the kids spilled on the floor.

Time hack #4: Know your daily “must-do” tasks.

We often have expectations of getting more done than we can possibly handle. If you have one forty minute prep period and plan to grade assignments from 8 classes, you are setting yourself up for failure.

Narrow down your expectations:

What are your top three priorities for the day? If you only got these three things accomplished, your day would be successful.
Who needs you on your “A” game? This one reminds you that people are your priority.
What can I do for myself today to bring me joy, peace or fulfillment? Don’t forget about yourself in the process.

Time hack #5: Spend a few minutes each day in silence and reflection.

You need room to slow down and breath. Silence also allows you to connect with your inner voice, which usually offers wisdom. It will allow your creative a chance to come through. A few minutes of reflection will often slow you down enough to see the big picture, to help you make good decisions and good choices, all of which can improve your focus and time management.

Your silence can look like many things- a walk in nature, exercise, journaling, meditating, praying, or just spending a few minutes looking out the window.

A few minutes of silence and reflection is a way of plugging into your own energy source, a way of recharging your inner battery. When your battery is charged, things run more smoothly. There are fewer glitches and you will feel that you have more control over your day. And as a bonus, it often helps you to stay closer to your dreams and follow through on the goals that will make them come to life.

All of these ideas come down to making things less chaotic and more simple. Take control of what you can control. Taking control of what you can will allow you to take control of your to-do list.

Recap:

Most of us are challenged by not having as much time as we’d like, but all of us are challenged to work with in the same 24 hours per day. We can’t get more time, but we can make better use of our time and set up systems and processes that will allow us to use our time in the best ways possible.

Quote:

You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself.

The storm will pass.

Timber Hawkeye

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired together Teachers podcast episode 16, Real Self Care

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

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Check out this episode to learn ways to prepare yourself for change so that you can lessen frustration and make life easier.

Show Notes:

In this episode:

Introduction:

What does this all have to do with change?

Identify if it is an “A” level change or a “B” level change. Don’t let “A” level change take on the strength of “B” level change.

Identify the change for what it is (real and coming) and plan accordingly.

Another way of preparing for change is to accept the change is coming and adjust accordingly.

You can also prepare for change by becoming the initiator of change.

What skills or strategies can you apply to the upcoming change?

Recap:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Share this:

Teaching With Heart S. 4 Ep. 51

If you’re teaching with heart, you’re bound to feel strong emotions. Listen to this episode to learn how to stay heart centered while keeping your emotions in balance.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Introduction:

Emotional Extreme #1: Pride and Disappointment

Emotional Extreme #2: Hope and Fear

Emotional Extreme #3: Connection and Isolation

Emotional Extreme #4: Love and Heartbreak

Recap:

Quote:

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Share this:

Teaching with Laughter and Tears S. 4 E. 50

Check out this episode to learn how both laughter and crying are good for you and how to find more laughter in your life and classroom.

Show notes:

Episode summary:

In this episode:

Introduction:

Quote:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Share this:

Tips for Giving and Receiving Advice

S. 4 E. 49

Listen to this episode to learn what to do when you are the receiver of unsolicited advice and how to best give advice that will be welcomed by others.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In This Episode:

Introduction:

Why do people give unsolicited advice?

So why, if advice can sometimes be hurtful, do people give it?

How to respond to unsolicited advice.

How to give advice that will be useful and welcome.

Recap:

Quote:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Share this:

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Introduction:

Time hack #1: Eliminate distractions and interruptions.

It’s possible to control the disruptions with a few of these ideas:

Time hack #2: Learn to batch tasks.

Time hack #3: Set up an environment for success.

Time hack #4: Know your daily “must-do” tasks.

Recap:

Share this:

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