Season 7 Episode 113

Check out this episode to understand the patterns of the strong-willed, forward moving Enneagram Type 8! 

Show Notes: 

Episode Summary:

Are you an independent, strong person who is comfortable taking the lead? If not, are you in awe of people in your life who do but you also can’t fully understand them and what motivates them?

When we say words like “direct” “courageous” and “confrontational” who do you think of? That person who just came to mind is likely an Enneagram Type Eight. In our lives, people who fit the characteristics of an Enneagram Type Eight are some of the most powerful, and they can also be viewed as some of the most controlling family members, friends and students.

This episode is one in our series individually exploring each of the 9 types of people identified using the Enneagram. Enneagram is a tool for understanding patterns of behavior in ourselves and others.

Today, as certified Enneagram trainers, we are sharing ways we have learned that can help us all best love, live with, work with and teach others who are Enneagram Type 8s.

As an Enneagram Type Eight would likely say, “Enough talking. Let’s get to the episode!”

In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Before we jump into discussing the Enneagram type 8s in our lives, the “Leaders” or “Bosses” in our lives, let’s quickly review what the Enneagram is, why it matters, and what we caution before we dive into the behaviors, patterns, and motivations of the Type 8s.

We have recorded and shared several different episodes on the Enneagram that give you a more wholistic view, but in short, the Enneagram as a free and insightful tool provides us with a lens that helps us to understand the patterns of behaviors in ourselves and others.

The framework of the Enneagram helps us to see what motivates us and we can also learn ways to best work with and live with the people in our lives who are not the same Enneagram type that we are. Using the Enneagram, people are categorized into 1 of 9 types based on their motivations and behaviors. Today we are specifically talking about Enneagram Type 8,  how to live with them, love them, teach them, and best interact with them at home and at school.

A few words of caution before we dig into learning about Enneagram Type 8:

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understanding the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns. We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

Patterns of Enneagram Type 8

Of all of the Enneagram types, it can be fairly easy to identify the patterns of an Enneagram Type 8 because their behaviors tend to be a bit more “in your face” than the behavior patterns of more passive numbers. As we discuss the types of behavior patterns that you would find in an Enneagram Type Eight, think of the people you know- your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach who match these patterns.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of Enneagram Type 8 patterns:

• They are strong and powerful.
• In a room, they are often the leader or are quick to lead the group once a decision is made.
• They are “large and in charge.”
• Type 8’s are independent and self-sufficient.
• Their behaviors are, or can be perceived to be, intimidating or aggressive.
• They speak the truth as they see it and can be viewed as challenging.
• They are strong advocates for fighting injustices in the world. A type 8 has no problem defending the oppressed and seeking justice for others.
• They are forceful, assertive, and are not quick to back down.

Let’s talk about what an Enneagram Type 8 might look like in a school setting:

• Because Type 8s are strong, passionate, protective, and self-confident, they are often drawn to leadership roles in a school. Think of the people in leadership positions in your school or district. Who among that group has an air of importance and is decisive, but can sometimes be thought of as domineering? Odds are good that they are a Type 8.
• As coworkers, Type 8s are excellent partners because they will not be needy, dependent, or helpless. In fact, they are likely the people in the teaching team or on the committee who use their assertiveness to control the direction of the meeting, sometimes not giving others much of a chance to voice their opinions. They are likely passionate advocates for the students who they feel are being oppressed, even if it means calling out another colleague for not serving them as well as they should.
• When we talk about 8s as students, they are likely the students that others call “bossy” or who run the playground games with the “my way or the highway” mentality. They are wonderful to have in class because they are resourceful, independent and industrious. However, they can rub their peers the wrong way when they are too aggressive, domineering, intimidating or insensitive. Teachers can view them as challenging because they will not bend easily to the teacher’s will without what they determine to be good justification.

Tips and strategies for working effectively with Enneagram Type 8 patterns:

• First, and foremost remember that they, as Eights, are likely not driven by the same things you are. What motivates you, does not likely motivate them. Take time to slow down, before responding to them, to consider what is motivating them and driving their behaviors. This will help you to better understand their actions. Here are the typical motivators of a Type Eight:
  • Their main fear is being out of control.
  • They want to be in control and have power.
  • They are driven by wanting to feel strong, to be important, to resist weakness and to use their strength to seek justice for themselves and others.
• Determine their strengths. If you can tap into the leadership strengths of a Type 8, both you and that person who is an 8 will benefit. However, trying dampen or squash the strengths of a Type 8 will lead you both down the path of a power struggle. An 8 will not give you power because you want it. They likely want it, and need it, more.
• Discover their hidden potential. Find ways to incorporate these more in your relationship. For example, Type 8s have a hidden potential to right the wrongs in ways that the rest of us may not consider. They will not worry what others think of them, they will tap into their well of strength and can lead a movement that can, if given the opportunity, help those who are unable to speak up for themselves.
• Consider how you can address potentially negative patterns in a positive way. For example, if a Type 8 in your classroom is always taking control of things they should not be taking control of, tell them that you appreciate their leadership but they need to pick 3 things in the classroom to be in charge of. They will still seek power but can that need for power met in a way that you have both agreed upon.
• Do not take the words and actions of a Type 8 personally. Because they value being direct, they think they are doing the right thing by saying things how they see them, without sugar-coating or talking around the subject. Their direct words may feel harsh and insensitive, leaving non-8s in the room to feel like the air was sucked out of the room after the Type 8 talked. Remember that Type 8s are not trying to hurt you. In fact, they feel they can be their natural self with you when they tell you exactly how they see things.

Strengths, Challenges and Opportunities for Growth

Strengths:

• When you need a powerful advocate, they are your best bet.
• They are passionate and unwavering in fighting for justice.
• They have leadership bandwidth that is unending. Give them a task, they will take control and will develop a plan for achieving the goal.
• You don’t have to direct a Type 8 on what to do. They are independent, self-sufficient achievers who do not need to be managed.
• Want to start a revolution? Find a Type 8 the are ready and waiting for the challenge.

Challenges:

• They can be domineering.
• They may be insensitive to the feelings of others.
• Working or living with them can feel threatening or overwhelming and can leave others to feel like they have been “run over” by the Type 8.
• Because they are so independent and strong, they can be (or can be perceived to be) self-righteous, self-centered, or bossy.

Opportunities for growth for 8s:

• Remind them to remain sensitive to the needs of others. Encourage them to make sure they are listening to others (not just waiting for them to get done speaking so that the 8 can talk). Make sure they are asking questions and not just talking. If the 8 is a student in your classroom, teach them to self-monitor these behaviors, possibly giving them a way to tally or self-check how they are doing being more aware of others.
• Give them roles where their strengths can be appreciated and their challenges reduced. For example, give them opportunities for power while making sure it is being kept in check.
• Remind them that part of their drive for justice can be achieved by making sure that everyone in the room feels safe and welcomed.
• Teaching about and giving opportunities for practicing empathy can be wonderful for Type 8s.
• Kindly and directly let Type 8s know how their words and actions are impacting others- in positive situations and in negative instances as well. If you don’t tell them, for example, that they are making others feel intimidated, they likely will not know.
• Consider what you have learned about Type Eights and capitalize on the strengths of the Eights in their work and life. Help them to recognize their own strengths and limitations so they can set themselves up for success.

Conclusion:

People who are Enneagram Type Eights are wonderful assets to our lives. They are our passionate, strong leaders and our advocates for justice. They are powerful, make a difference in the world, and do not back down when presented with a challenge. By recognizing their strengths and challenges and understanding strategies to best live with, love, work with, and teach them, you can avoid power struggles with them and bask in all the great things they can and will accomplish.

Recap:

Today we explored how to best understand and communicate with Type Eights in your home, your friend group, your school and your classroom. Having this understanding will make interactions with Eights in your life easier and can help to improve their lives and your own.

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