Build Your Star System of Support E. 20

July 12, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Build Your Star System of Support S.2 Ep.20

Listen to this episode to learn why you need a star system of support and how teachers are better when they work together.

Show Notes:

Good bye dream team- hello star system! In this episode we’re going to describe why the superstar teacher is a myth. You can be a superstar, you just can’t be one alone. Teaching today is tough and we need more than a dream team. What we need is an entire constellation because together, we can all shine more brightly.

You’ve probably heard of or used the phrase “dream team” or better yet, you actually work with a dream team! We all need a system of support in our lives. Today, we are going to expand our idea of support. But first, let’s talk about the superstar teacher. Maybe you are one, or you know one, or you wish you were one.

The solo, inspirational, hero, teacher is a myth.

American Society teaches us that it is our individual efforts that help us to thrive. We love a good hero story. We revere story of the struggling person who pulls him or herself up by their bootstraps and achieves great things. We covet being the best- the top of the class, the fastest on the team, and honor the individual pursuit of excellence.

In school, we are judged and graded on our individual work. Yet in life, our success is often interconnected with that of others.

We’ve seen the myth of the individual hero in teaching. Our favorite teacher movies honor the solo teacher who works hard and through their personal efforts, often a great sacrifice to their personal life, changes a student, a class, or an entire school. The stories are inspiring, but often, not realistic.

These teacher movies focus on the lone teacher and things they do to inspire their students and bring about change.

What you don’t see is all the other people behind the scenes, sharing the load and helping that teacher. Let’s face it, it might not make for a good movie, but it is the way things work in the real world.

There are huge benefits in working together.

In his book Big Potential: How Transforming the Pursuit of Success Raises our Achievement, Happiness and Well-being Shawn Achor busts the myth that we achieve our best through our solo work as we work hard and strive for success.

Achor’s research suggests that we need to stop trying to do everything alone.

Here are some key findings:

Working together allows us to find more energy, share resources, and lessen our stress. Those are three HUGE problems teachers today face.
We are also smarter together. We are stronger and more creative. We are also more resilient.
Strong teamwork is even connected to measurable better health.
When we work together, we not only raise the performance of the group, but we also increase our own potential.

Strong teamwork leads to better success and more personal happiness.

Teachers need the benefits of working together.

Teachers today are desperate to reduce stress and increase resilience. Resilience grows when you have a strong support system of people who believe in you. Another reason is that teachers need more time and energy and a better balance in home and work lives. We can accomplish more if we work together and share the work.

Being surrounded by people who will lift you up is a game changer. The more people we have to share stress and offer solutions, the lighter our personal load will be.

“The more you help people find their light, “Achor says, “ the brighter you both will shine” (p.18).

Achor also says, “We all have the power to make others better. And when we commit to using that power, there is no limit to what we can accomplish” (p. 54).

You may have heard or used the phrase “dream team.” Achor calls this system of support a “star system.”

Achor’s research consistently shows one strong conclusion:

“You can be a superstar; you just can’t be one alone. What you need is a star system, a constellation of positive, authentic influencers who support each other, reinforce each other, and make each other better.” (p.68).

In work and life, Achor shares, the way to win is to create a star system, a group of people whose members “assist each other, carry each other on their shoulders, and make each other better” (p.68).

How can you build a star system of support?

Recognize the talents and gifts of yourself and your colleagues.

We each have talents and gifts. It is easy to take our own talents for granted. We think, if I can do something easily, everyone must be able to do it easily. In reality, others struggle with things that come naturally to you. Likewise, others do naturally what you struggle to do.

Recognize what it is that you do well. Do you relate well to students? Do you have a great sense of humor and use it effectively in your classroom? Are you very organized? Do you connect well with parents? Do you use technology successfully?

How can you help a colleague by using your strengths? Look for appropriate times to share your special knowledge or skill with others.

Do you know the strengths and gifts of others at your school?

Respect the various strengths that each person brings to the group. If someone likes to keep the conversation focused, assign them the role of group facilitator. If another person has a strength with organization, allow them to prepare the materials for the meeting and handle follow-up contacts.

Take time to learn the strengths each person brings to your school. Then, embrace and build upon those strengths.

You can also create a star system by finding shared dreams and vision.

It is easy to see the ways we are all different. If we focus only on our differences, it is difficult to build community.

Look beyond the differences with your colleagues. There are human attributes you share. Perhaps you are all working to help a particular student achieve. Perhaps you share the vision of how to transform your school. Perhaps you are united in the face of a district challenge.

When we look past our differences and into our shared dreams and vision, we can use that synergy to help us create better classrooms and schools.

Imagine what the world would be like if we saw everyone, no matter their age, gender, ethnicity, ability, religion or political beliefs, as a co-creator of a shared dream. The world would be a better place.

Brene Brown says, “It’s hard to hate people close up.”

Finally, you can create a star system by being intentional about and not feeling guilty about sharing the work.

Just like you can’t look at one person and say “that’s a dream team”, you can’t look up in the sky and see one star that makes up an entire constellation. It is a group effort. Even if one person has to shine a little brighter at one time or another, each person is still a part of something bigger, it has to be a group effort.

Recently a team member on the women’s Belgian track team was injured. The team risked getting disqualified from an important meet. A shot putter agreed to take one for the team and ran the hurdles. She was not a hurdler, and actually stepped over the hurdles rather than jumping over them. Her efforts, even though she came in last, kept the team from being disqualified and actually gave them two points towards the final score.

When we share our talents, find a shared dream or vision, and share in building greatness in our school, we are using our community to help us thrive.

How can you create your own personal star system of support?

We all need different types of support. find people who can support you in the following ways:

Someone who cheers you on

Someone who you can confide in

Someone who can mentor you

Someone who motivates you

Someone who stretches you

Someone who brings fun

Someone who believes in your dreams

Someone who loves you unconditionally

Know that in true reciprocity, you are also likely performing these same roles for others in your life.

Your system of support is important, now more than ever.

We end this podcast with a comment sent to us by a teacher. We included it in our book, The Inspired Teacher’s Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self. Our book is full of quotes and advice from teachers. Here’s a shout out to Dani Way-Lawler, a high school special education teachers for her quote:

“Find your Teacher People and love them hard. Teaching is hard and wonderful all at the same time. No one can do it alone. Find those people who will cry with you, let you vent, laugh with you, help turn crazy ideas into reality, support you, build you up and celebrate victories with you. Hold them tight. They are the ones who will tell you that you can do it, even when you don’t think you can.”

You can be a superstar, you just can’t be one alone. Find your people and together you can create a star system of support.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Big Potential: How Transforming the Pursuit of Success Raises Our Achievement, Happiness, and Well Being by Shawn Achor

13 Inspiring Teacher Movies

Quote:

Shawn Achor

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

The Power to Design Your Life E.19

July 5, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

The Power to Design Your Life S.2 E.19

We all want to live our best, truest, and most fulfilled life. You can leave that chance, or you can make it a choice. Today, we’re talking about how you have the power to design your life!

Show notes:

In this episode:

In the first episode of this podcast we discussed three kinds of life- the caged life, the comfortable life, and the inspired life.

In the caged life, you feel trapped. You feel stuck in your relationships or job or social groups. You are unhappy more than you are happy. You wonder, is this all there is?

In the comfortable life, your life is easier. You have every reason in the world to be happy, but often, you are not. Your go to expressions is, “ It’s fine.” Its fine is a tell that you are in the comfortable zone. Life is not miserable, but it is not great either.

In the Inspired Life, you have a lot of energy and are proactive in making things happen that serve you. You have high levels of engagement whether it is a work or with your partner or family and friends. You are generally optimistic and look forward to things. You know what you want out of life and you are willing to work for it.

If the inspired life sounds good to you, then you will want to listen today as we talk about how you can design your inspired life.

Let’s explore drifting versus designing.

There is a chance that if you want an inspired life, it will happen naturally. But there is a better chance that you are going to have to be proactive in making that life what you want it to be.

Many people just drift through life. They are like a leaf in a current, drifting along, never resisting the current and going wherever the current takes them.

If you are drifting, you probably spend your days reacting to the challenges that appear. You feel ambivalent or even unhappy about your work, your home, the activities you are involved- pretty much everything. You might feel resentful of others, but don’t see another way.

Drifting teachers might complain about things at school or home, but don’t really do anything to fix it.

The other route is to design your life.

Think about what a designer does. They have a vision for what they want, and they work on developing and clarifying their vision. They have goals and plans and take action to make those plans come to life. They look for the challenges and rather than just deal with them, try to prevent them from happening in the first place.

In their book, Designing Your Life, which is based on a course at Stanford University, Bill Burnett and Dave Evans say, “Designers imagine things that don’t yet exist and then they build them, and the world changes. You can do this in your own life. You can imagine a career and a life that don’t exist; you can build that future you, and as a result, your life will change.”

A formula to help you design your life…

Here are suggestions based on what we’ve have learned by watching and interacting with people who successfully design their life.

Based on this, we offer you this formula:

envision the life you want to live
choose your priorities take actions accordingly
create habits so that you do the most important things
surround yourself with people who support you

Envision the life you want to live.

This might be a good place to mention that everything we are talking about here is in our book, The Inspired Teacher’s Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Have you ever made a vision board? It doesn’t have to be an actual board. It is also not just a cutting and pasting activity.

The purpose of vision boards is to keep your dreams and wishes close to you. You need to see them every day, and remind yourself what you want and what you’re working for. Without a clear vision, it is easy to drift through life, accepting whatever comes your way.

You’ve probably heard of manifesting. Manifesting usually starts with vision boards, and often stops there. That is not how we go about designing a life.

Developing your vision means doing some soul searching. You need to look within to see what is important and what you really want out of life.

Your vision can also become part of your purpose, it is your “why”. When the going gets tough, having a strong vision will keep you focused and motivated.

Here are some questions to help you find your vision:

If you were to describe your dream day, what would you be doing? Who would you be with?
What kinds of feelings do you want to have on a daily basis?
What do you love about your current life? What would you like to change about your current life?
Are you trying to fulfill someone else’s dreams for you?
Where or when are you your true, best self?
What do you love to do? What are you passionate about?
Who needs you?
What is worth fighting for?
When you look back on your life, what would you be proud to have done?

You need to own your vision. You can see it, and feel, it. The picture is clear.

Build support for your vision.

Support consists of action plans, personal habits, and how you connect with the people around you.

“Dream big and move your feet.”

You need action plans. How do you plan for action? You need a system to make sure you take action. What does it look like for you? Make sure you have a way to make things happen. If you leave everything until you get around to it, you’ll never get around to it.

You will need to devise habits that support building the kind of life that you want. It can be difficult to get rid of old habits and adopt new ones, but it is easier when you truly have a vision and goals you are working for.

Habits may be small, but they compound over time.

We often think of habits as something we HAVE to do, something that limits us. If chosen carefully habits can actually give us more time and freedom by eliminating choices and decisions we have to make. When it is a habit, you just do it.

In the book Atomic Habits, James Clear says, “Small Habits are a vote for who you are and who you want to be.”

Here are some examples of habits that support goals:

If your goal is to read more, plan to read 20 minutes per day
If your priority is quality time with your family, have supper together each night.
If your goal is to spend more time with friends and becoming healthier try exercising with your friends.

What habits could you incorporate into your life that align with your vision for your life?

Get support as you design your life.

Shawn Achor researched how people achieve happiness and success with 1000’s of people in countries all over the world. He shared his findings in the book Big Potential.

His found out that “Individual effort does not account for the most happiness or the best performance.”

Achor says, “You can be a superstar, you just can’t be one alone. What you need is a star system; a constellation of positive, authentic influencers who support each other, reinforce each other, and make each other better.”

Who is supporting you?
Who is someone who will dream with you?
Who can mentor you?
Who encourages you?
Who challenges you?
Who loves you unconditionally?

We end with another quote, this one from Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy in their book Living Forward,

“Real transformation happens when people take responsibility for their own lives and begin to live intentionally in every area. When they begin recovering their passion and start seeing progress, their lives change. Changed people result in changed families, changed schools, synogogues and churches, and companies and governments. And when this happens, you begin transforming culture in profound and lasting ways.”

We say if often, you are more powerful than you think!

Recap:

Designing your life is not impossible. You need to envision the life you want to live. You choose your priorities and take actions and create habits so that you do the most important things. And you surround yourself with people who support you.

You don’t have to drift along, accepting whatever comes your way. You have the power to create a life that you love.

Quote:

Designers imagine things that don’t yet exist and then they build them, and the world changes. You can do this in your own life. You can imagine a career and a life that don’t exist; you can build that future you, and as a result, your life will change.”

Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

Resources mentioned in this episode:

The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self, by Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg

Designing Your Life, by Bill Burnett and Dave Evans

Atomic Habits by James Clear

Big Potential by Shawn Achor

Living Forward by Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired Together Teachers Podcast S1 E1. The Inspired Life

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Unwind and Relax with a Wallet-Friendly Staycation Ep.18

June 28, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Unwind and Relax with a Wallet-Friendly Staycation

No money? No problem! Listen to this episode to learn ways to relax and unwind by having a fun and easy staycation!

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

Are you in need of a vacation and don’t have the time or can’t afford to take a trip? Everyone needs to get away, have a change of scenery and experience new things. Vacation-like experiences are closer than you think, and they don’t have to cost a lot. In today’s episode where going to give you ideas for having a great vacation close to home.

In this episode:

Are you feeling stuck at home, and wishing you could go on a vacation? Or maybe your vacation is over, or not coming up for awhile. Today we’re going to take about fun ways to take a vacation without leaving home.

When you read about or hear about staycations, they often involve doing house projects. Yes, you can clean out and organize your closets during a staycation. Some of us do those kinds of projects as a default- I can’t afford to go anywhere, so I’ll get my home projects done. But that doesn’t sound like a vacation to us. We all want, and deserve something that recharges us. We want to have the experience of getting away from it all, relaxing, and coming back feeling rejuvenated.

How do you get that “I’ve had a vacation” feeling? You intentionally create it. We’ve got some ideas.

Consider what you would do if you were on a vacation.

Maybe you like to relax at the beach.
Many people love going to museums and seeing new things.
Some people love shopping in new places and finding unique things.
Many vacations involve seeing the tourist sights of a local area.
Adventure might be in the mix in your vacation- engaging in some kind of sport or activity.
Eating our in new restaurants is something we often look forward to on vacation.
On vacation we often switch up our routines in terms of sleep- sleeping in, or staying up later than we usually do.

What would you like to do on your vacation? Make a list. Then, see how you could do things in your own area.

Take our list from above. How could you do these things on a staycation?

Maybe you like to relax at the beach- is there a local beach you can visit? A local park? A local swimming pool?
Many people love going to museums and seeing new things. Have you visited your local museums or historical sights recently?
Some people love shopping in new places and finding unique things. Have new stores popped up in your area that you have not yet visited? This is the perfect opportunity to support a local business and expand your shopping horizons.
Many vacations involve seeing the tourist sights of a local area. Many of the wonders of nature are free or inexpensive. There are often outdoor options like caves and state parks or indoor options like historic homes and symphony performances.
Adventure might be in the mix in your vacation. Engage in some kind of sport or activity. Have you tried geocaching? You would be amazed at the adventure involved in finding the hidden treasure!
Eating out in new restaurants is something we often look forward to on vacation. Give yourself permission to go to that upscale restaurant or the burger shop you have wanted to try or haven’t visited in a while.
On vacation we often switch up our routines in terms of sleep such as sleeping in, or staying up later than we usually do. Here is your chance!

Vacations also often involve people we don’t see often.

Friends and family from out of town
People we like to spend time with but are often too busy to see
People from out past that we miss- your best friend from high school
Often people from lots of different ages come together and share stories and memories.

How could you arrange time to see these people during a staycation?

Have a backyard cookout and invite people.
Plan a day to go see a friend who you don’t see often who lives near you- or involve them to spend a day with you.
Meet friends or family halfway between where you live for a day at a park, a lake or a zoo.

Find fun and creative things to do in your community that you don’t usually do.

We all probably live near a tourist attraction that we have never been to. If not now, when?
If you are interested in history, explore the history of your town. Even small towns often have a historical museum or historical site you may have never been too. The library likely has historical information of the area. It is also fun to look at historical pictures of places you see around you everyday.
Consider the towns near you- are there new parks to explore? Hiking is great exercise and you will feel like you are somewhere new. If you like to hike, find a trail. Even it if you have hiked it before the vegetation is always changing and it can feel like a new trail. State and country parks are fantastic and offer new experiences, boat rentals, food stands, and outdoor playgrounds for kids. You can pack a picnic lunch or pick up a pizza on the way.
Look at local events calendars on-line and see what is happening near you. Every place has local festivals, summer concert series, restaurants and bars, and other places you probably haven’t been to.
If you love to cook, go to the library and check out some cookbooks from around the world. Pick a few recipes and make them. You will shake up your eating experience.
If you love to read, grab some books and drinks, snacks and a lawn chair and head to someplace different to read.
If you have access to bicycles, bike around a new neighborhood. Bike trails are available in many places. If you don’t have a bike they are easy to rent or can be inexpensive to buy if you find them used.

Quote:

“How do you get that “I’ve had a vacation” feeling? You intentionally create it.”

Inspired Together Teachers

Recap:

If you can’t go away on a vacation it doesn’t mean that you can’t rest, relax and be rejuvenated. Give yourself permission to get out of your daily routines. You can slow down, let go of work and enjoy many wonderful experiences without going far from home or spending a lot of money.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Get Out of Your Head! Ep.17

June 21, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 3 Comments

Get Out of Your Head! S. 2 E.17

Listen to this episode to learn more about ways you can access three types of wisdom and go beyond your rational, analytical brain.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you spend most of your day in thinking mode? Our jobs require us to do a lot of thinking, reasoning and analyzing. Our best work comes from thinking…or does it? In today’s episode we are going to talk about three ways of accessing wisdom. Is it time for you to “get out of your head”? Listen up to find out.

In this episode:

What type of wisdom do you use most?

You likely spend most of your day in thinking mode. As teachers, we are in the information business. Information is largely brain based…. or so we have been taught.

Let’s try a little quiz:

Which statement is most like you?

1. I am connected to my rational side. I tend to analyze and think through things. I follow my head.

2. I am connected to and often lead with my feelings. I follow my heart.

3. I am connected to and often follow my gut instincts. I go with my gut.

The results of that quiz are a signal about the types of wisdom you access most.

If you related most to #1, you follow your head.

If you related most to #2, you follow your heart.

If you related most to #3 you follow your gut instinct.

These are three different types of wisdom that you can access. Most of us tend to use one over the others, but we can learn to use all three types.

Three Types of Wisdom

Brain wisdom IQ

If you have with brain wisdom you:

Rely on knowledge, mental activity, rational thinking, planning, reasoning
Focus on security and survival
Uses rational thinking to avoid fear and anxiety

We were all taught to learn with our brains and to teach with our head. Brain work includes research, reading, and analyzing data. We access the wisdom of others through our brains by watching, listening and reading.

It is in the decisions we make thousands of times a day. It is easy to fall back on brain wisdom and we can even get stuck there.

If you have ever worried or overthought things, you have been stuck in your brain wisdom. You can get so stuck there that you can actually start spinning- thinking of something over and over again and analyzing it in a million ways and which causes anxiety and leads to even more spinning.

Much of the time, brain based wisdom is necessary and useful. But it is not the ONLY way of accessing wisdom.

We can also access our heart wisdom and our gut wisdom. You can easily get this concept if you think of the characters from the Wizard of Oz.

You have the Scarecrow, who is looking for a brain- he wants brain wisdom, also known as IQ (Intelligence Quotient).

You have the tin man, who is looking for a heart. He wants to access heart wisdom which is also known as HQ (Heart Quotient) or EQ (Emotional Quotient).

And then you have the cowardly lion. He is looking for courage- which is also know as GQ (Gut Quotient).

Heart Wisdom

Another way of knowing is heart wisdom. With this kind of knowing, you know it in your heart. You feel it. Or you follow your heart.

Those with heart wisdom:

Trust their heart more than anything else
Have strong emotional/social Intelligence
Notice, control and express emotions in empathetic ways
Rely on their feelings and relationships to guide them

Think about times when you have felt heart wisdom.

You are often with other people, there is much heart wisdom in connections with others.
You are likely relaxed.
You might be outside in nature, not in a desk or a classroom.
Maybe you are in the shower, relaxing with water pouring onto your head.
You might be on vacation, enjoying the fun and sun.
You feel heart wisdom while engaging in the arts, music, poetry, art, drama
You might also feel heart wisdom while exercising- you are out on a run or on the treadmill.
Heart wisdom often comes to us when we are playing, relaxing or resting.
It very much occurs when we are laughing.

Think about what those circumstances all have in common.

You are not worrying or obsessing.
You are out of a work routine.
You are probably enjoying whatever you are doing.
You in present and enjoying the moment.

If you want to access heart wisdom, the recipe is clear. Play, relax, laugh, get out of your normal routine, be around others and be in the moment. These are the things that lead to new ideas and new insight, greater problem solving and yes, wisdom!

Gut Wisdom

Here is a little quiz for GQ:

Do you go with your gut? Do you listen to your instincts and almost always follow them?
Do you sometimes just feel things in your bones and know it is right?
Are you easily able to throw caution to the wind and just do something?
Can you roll with it rather than feel the need to plan out everything?

You react with your gut if you often react instinctively. You know in your gut whether something is good or bad, or whether you like someone or don’t. You are often quick to react and make instinctive decisions.

If you regularly do these things, you are accessing your gut wisdom.

We also call this body wisdom, instinct, intuition, your conscience, even inner spirit or God.

If you feel the instincts, but your brain self-doubt keeps you from following your instincts, you might need to work on accessing your gut wisdom.

How do you access your gut wisdom?

Listen to your body. Pay attention to physical sensations in your body when faced with a decision. Notice if you feel tension, discomfort, or a sense of ease in different situations. Your body often gives subtle signals that can provide insights into your intuition.
Practice mindfulness and meditation. Engaging in mindfulness and meditation practices can help quiet the mind and create space for intuitive insights to emerge. By cultivating present-moment awareness, you can connect more deeply with your inner wisdom.
Trust your initial response. When faced with a decision, trust your initial gut reaction or first instinct. Sometimes, overthinking or analyzing can cloud your judgment. By honoring your initial response, you may tap into your intuitive wisdom. If you feel like something is dangerous, pay attention.
Try journaling and reflection. Write down your thoughts and feelings in a journal regularly. Reflecting on past experiences and decisions can help you identify patterns and understand how your gut instincts have guided you in the past. This can provide valuable insights for future decision-making.
Seek solitude and quiet. Find moments of solitude and silence to allow your mind to settle and your intuition to surface. Being in a calm and peaceful environment can help you connect with your inner voice and gain clarity on important matters.
Engage in creative activities. Creative activities such as drawing, painting, writing, or playing a musical instrument can help bypass the analytical mind and tap into your subconscious. Engaging in these activities can open up channels for intuitive insights to flow.

Here are a couple of other things that come to mind when you are thinking about gut wisdom:

Let go of self-consciousness. You may think everyone is judging and watching you, but they are probably too busy with their own things to worry about you.
Do something outside of your comfort zone. Stretch yourself. Try new things.

Sooner or later you are going to want something that is on the other side of your fear. You will always likely feel some fear, but you can learn to live with being scared and move forward.

Following your gut instincts can be difficult for some people. However, it often pays off in terms of making you feel more whole and your life more authentic.

Life coach Martha Beck says,

“Experience has taught me that the way to a joyful life is always fraught with fear, and to find it you must follow your hearts desire right through the inevitable terrors that arise to hold you back. If you don’t do this, your life will be shaped by fear rather than love, and I guarantee, the shape will be narrow and tiny compared to your best destiny.”

Remember that accessing your gut instinct takes practice and self-awareness. Be patient with yourself and trust the process. Over time, you will develop a stronger connection with your inner wisdom.

Recap: We are all used to living and working from our heads and brain wisdom is accepted and appreciated. However, we also have access to heart wisdom and gut wisdom. Together the three types of wisdom can make for a more complete picture of wisdom and real knowing. Maybe it is time to get out of your head and into the other ways of knowing.

Quote:

Martha Beck

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Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Real Self-Care Ep.16

June 14, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 5 Comments

Real Self-Care S. 2 E.16

Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can stop using faux self-care practices and start making choices that will create real self-care and more authentic living.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Have you ever been frustrated by self-care? Maybe you can’t find the time to indulge in a yoga class or journaling or meditation. Or maybe you can’t afford a spa day, a massage or even a latte. Do you indulge in self- care only to find that it feels good for a moment, but you quickly wind up stressed once again? Some of these things MIGHT be real self-care for you, but what does that look like? How do you know if it is real-self care?

In today’s episode were going to talk about real self-care.

In this episode:

We hear it all the time, we should be practicing self-care.

We’ve tried them all…yoga, meditation, journaling, practicing gratitude, coffee drinks, scented candles, bubble baths or steam showers.

And then there are luxury sheets, organizational systems to organize your home or classroom, and gorgeous planners with beautiful quotes and inspirational stickers.

These are all self-care things that make you feel good for a few minutes. There is nothing wrong with them. They can help us cope and help us deal with our stress.

Many self-care strategies give us the illusion of control- or the illusion of relaxation. But at the end of the day, they are helping us deal with the symptoms of our exhaustion and burnout and stress- not the cause of it. It is like continually takin aspirin for a headache and never trying to figure out why you have a headache in the first place.

And to make it even worse- if you can’t manage to get enough self-care in with your ever growing to-do list it feels like one more failure.

Have you ever felt stressed over your self-care activities?

Self-care can cause a lot of guilt because we feel like if it isn’t working, we are to blame.

Faux self-care

Self-care has become an industry. It is a product to be marketed and sold. It is everywhere.

Instagram has dozens of self care hashtags #selfcare has 73 MILLION posts.

Clearly we are look for self-care help.

In her book Real Self-Care, Dr. Pooja Lakshmin discusses the self-care problem. We have massive focus on self-care and thousands of products available to help. And yet is doesn’t seem to be working.

Dr. Lakshmin describes the current state of self-care as faux self-care- self care that is incomplete at best and manipulative at worse.

Dr. Lakshmin compares faux self-care to empty calories- devoid of substance, like a quick sugar high. It feels good in the moment but doesn’t nourish us in the long haul.

Most things we think of as self-care, are really faux self-care. There is nothing wrong with these activities or products- but they are remedies, not the way to fix the problem in the first place.

In her book, Dr. Lakshmin says that real self-care is an inside job. It is different for every person, and once you figure out what YOU need, it changes your self-image, your relationships, your workplace and your community.

What we have to do is stop focusing on the symptoms and focus on the root causes.

Real Self-care

What is real self-care? It’s a verb, not a noun.

It is connected to your internal decision making and the choices you choose to make in your life.

Real self-care allows you to get your needs met- in your relationships, in your family and in your work.

Real-self care brings you closer to yourself and what is most important to you.

Dr. Lakshmin says “Real self-care…is not a one -stop shop like a fancy spa retreat or a journaling app, it’s an internal process that involves making difficult decisions that will pay off tenfold in the long run as a life built around the relationships and activities that matter most to you.”

Real self-care involves …

setting boundaries
learning to treat yourself with compassion
making choices that bring you closer to your true self
living a life aligned with our values

This requires asking some tough questions and making hard choices. It also requires that we examine our relationship with guilt and shame. It is difficult work, and at first, it seems easier just to buy a scented candle.

The biggest question to focus on is why? Why are you choosing a self-care activity? For example, two different people choose to take a yoga class for self-care.

Mandy signs up because her friends are into yoga and she thinks she should get in on it too. She finds that it is an escape from her stressful life for an hour a couple of times a week. It is social, and she likes being with her friends, so she keeps going. When her friends can’t attend, she doesn’t go either. She doesn’t really miss it. She is experiencing faux self-care.

Trisha also takes a yoga class. She goes once a week, but wishes she could go more often. She loves the quiet, contemplation and always leaves feeling deeply nourished. Trisha’s yoga is true self-care.

It is not about the method, the activity or the product you buy, it is about what the experience does for you. One person’s piano practice is painful and boring, another person’s piano practice is fulfilling and life giving.

One person’s candle is a pleasant orange scent. Another person’s candle is the brand her mother always had burning when she came home from school and when she comes home and lights her candle it reminds her of her mom and the happy time they spent after school talking about their day. The scent makes her home feel warm and inviting. It makes her feel calm and relaxed.

Real self-care is less about adding things to your life than about understanding your place in the world and what you need to walk through the world feeling fulfilled.

How do you find what real-self care looks like for you?

Align your actions with your values.

Get in touch with your values. Take a values assessment. Your values are your hearts’ deepest desires. They include descriptions of how you want to live, how you want to interact with the world and how you want to feel when you are with yourself.
Knowing your values helps you eliminate the “shoulds” and focus on what is right for you.
Your values are what is unique about you, they are as unique as your fingerprint.
Holding your values and working within them is always self-nourishing.
When you align with your values, you will be doing fewer things that matter most to other people and more of the things that matter most to you.

If you want to do some activities to help you clarify your values, the book Real Self-Care is full of helpful activities.

Other examples:

A spa experience might not be about the spa treatments. If spending time with people nourishes you, then a spa day with friends might be what you need. The value is spending quality time with the people, not the specific activity.

If you highly value learning and growing, quiet time with a book is self-nourishing.

If you love to learn about new places, travel can be a form of self-care. It is all about asking what does this activity do for me and how is it connected to my values?

Learning to Set Boundaries

Another form of real-self care is setting boundaries.

Consider what you need and want and leave space for that.
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow or don’t allow.
You can let the phone go to voice mail or leave the email for a day. This gives you time to read and reflect, and make thoughtful decisions.
Realize that you do not have to attend everything. Your children do not have to be in every activity.
Recognize that you are not in control of how others feel or they will react. That is theirs to own.
Do not let what others might think of you drive your decisions. Listen to your own heart and your own instincts.
Practice with small things so you can handle the big boundaries.

Dr. Lakshmin says, “Every boundary you set is a reminder that you have agency over how you spend your time and ener

Treat Yourself with Compassion

Real self-care includes treating yourself with compassion.

Self-compassion is the lens with which you view yourself.
We often mistakenly think that compassion comes from the outside when we do good works, it actually comes from the inside.
Sometimes good enough is okay. B or C+ effort is enough.
Be willing to accept help, support, love and kindness.
Rest- you don’t earn it rest- it is a medical necessity.
We all have the inner mean voice that constantly criticizes us. Learn to silence that voice when it is too harsh.

Recap:

True self-care is an inside job. Self-care is not a temporary escape from life’s stresses. It is not a product that you can buy or a place that you can go. Real self-care is different for each of us. We find it by connecting our choices and actions to our values. Real self-care involves making difficult decisions that will pay off in the long run as we build a life around the relationships and activities that matter most to us. When done well, real-self care is empowering.

Quote:

“ Real self-care…is not a one -stop shop like a fancy spa retreat or a journaling app, it’s an internal process that involves making difficult decisions that will pay off tenfold in the long run as a life built around the relationships and activities that matter most to you”

“Self -care is an inside job.”

“Every boundary you set is a reminder that you have agency over how you spend your time and energy.”

Dr. Pooja Lakshmin

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Real Self-Care (Crystals, Cleanses, and Bubble Baths Not Included) by Pooja Lakshmin, M.D.

Related episodes and blogs:

Inspired Together Teachers podcast episode 6 Set Priorities to Take Back Your Life

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Build Your Star System of Support S.2 Ep.20

Listen to this episode to learn why you need a star system of support and how teachers are better when they work together.

Show Notes:

The solo, inspirational, hero, teacher is a myth.

There are huge benefits in working together.

Here are some key findings:

Teachers need the benefits of working together.

How can you build a star system of support?

Recognize the talents and gifts of yourself and your colleagues.

Do you know the strengths and gifts of others at your school?

You can also create a star system by finding shared dreams and vision.

Finally, you can create a star system by being intentional about and not feeling guilty about sharing the work.

How can you create your own personal star system of support?

Resources mentioned in this episode:

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The Power to Design Your Life S.2 E.19

Show notes:

Let’s explore drifting versus designing.

The other route is to design your life.

A formula to help you design your life…

Envision the life you want to live.

Here are some questions to help you find your vision:

Build support for your vision.

Here are some examples of habits that support goals:

Get support as you design your life.

Recap:

Quote:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

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Unwind and Relax with a Wallet-Friendly Staycation

No money? No problem! Listen to this episode to learn ways to relax and unwind by having a fun and easy staycation!

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Consider what you would do if you were on a vacation.

Take our list from above. How could you do these things on a staycation?

Vacations also often involve people we don’t see often.

How could you arrange time to see these people during a staycation?

Find fun and creative things to do in your community that you don’t usually do.

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Recap:

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Get Out of Your Head! S. 2 E.17

Listen to this episode to learn more about ways you can access three types of wisdom and go beyond your rational, analytical brain.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

What type of wisdom do you use most?

Three Types of Wisdom

Brain wisdom IQ

Heart Wisdom

Gut Wisdom

Quote:

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Listen to this episode to learn more about how you can stop using faux self-care practices and start making choices that will create real self-care and more authentic living.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Faux self-care

How do you find what real-self care looks like for you?

Learning to Set Boundaries

Treat Yourself with Compassion

Recap:

Quote:

Related episodes and blogs:

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