5 Life Lessons that Stand the Test of Time Ep.30

September 20, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

5 Life Lessons that Stand the Test of Time

S. 2 E.30

Listen to this episode to learn 5 life lessons that have staying power!

Show Notes

Episode Summary:

You’ve probably heard the expression, “Everything old is new again.” Is it true? There are always new ideas, new strategies and new concepts. Sometimes things do cycle back around again. Technology demands that we learn new skills and adopt new practices. When it comes to teaching, and living, there are strategies that manage to survive in some form or other, through different times and places. Today, we’re taking a look at five life lessons that stand the test of time.

In this episode:

Everything old is new again. We’ve both been teaching long enough to see things go out of favor and back in again.

For example, phonics was once a main focus in teaching reading to younger students. Then it was put on the back burner in favor of using multiple forms of reading including using context clues, memorizing sight words that are difficult to sound out and focusing on comprehension. Now the cycle has swung back to emphasizing phonics again.

Other skills and strategies have cycled in and out of favor, for example, cooperative learning and group work, goal setting and even self-regulation.

Report cards once had a section on deportment, or self-regulation skills. These were things like “works independently” or “gets along with others”. Then, the emphasis turned to content area skills, standards and mastery. Now self-regulation skills are back.

Teachers were once taught, “Don’t smile until Christmas.” Now we understand that building relationships is vital, and it is difficult to build relationships with students when you can’t smile. We hope the pendulum never swings back to “Don’t smile until Christmas.”

We thought it would be useful to look at strategies and skills that stand the test of time. These are lessons in life and learning with staying power.

We begin with a few cautionary words.

We understand that some of these ideas may seem controversial to some people and may seem obviously true to others. You may wholehearted agree with us or you might not agree with us, both are okay. We are sharing things we see as valuable, whether or not they are currently in favor.

We based our lessons learned on what we believe to be best practice in education and life. We both have advanced degrees and we believe in reading and analyzing research. We’ve read a LOT of research. We’ve read enough research to know that there are always studies that contradict each other. Statistics are often taken out of context and can be manipulated. What you are getting in this episode are our beliefs after reading the research through the filter of our work and lived experiences.

Lastly, we are both experienced teachers who have taught different ages, grades, and content levels. We’ve also visited hundreds of schools and worked with thousands of teachers. Between us, we’ve been in classrooms in four different continents- Europe, Africa, North America and South America! We’ve worked with the spectrum of students from early childhood to graduate students. We see the big picture in education, and these are lessons that resonate with us and our experience. These are old ideas that still work. They stand true always in both your work and home life. They are lessons to live by, safe bets and mottos to hold true to.

What are some lessons that stand the test of time?

Life lesson 1: Significant learning does not take place without significant relationships.

You have all heard the phrase, “you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

This phrase has been around at least since our grandparents’ era. It means that being sweet will get you further than being sour or bitter. In its essence, it is all about building relationships. What does that look like in real life?

It might mean that being kind and pleasant and helpful to students will garner you more respect from them- which results in more cooperation. It might also mean that kindness goes a long way.

For example, yelling at a struggling student is not likely to be helpful. Being patient, explaining things in a different way or encouraging their efforts is a positive way to be supportive.

We all know that, yet we’ve all seen students treated with disrespect.

Paula: When I worked in a school for students with severe behavior challenges, I would often find that once students established the relationship with me, they were much more likely to learn from me. For students who had struggled with positive relationships, possibly for their whole lives, this often meant building relationships in ways I had not before, like playing basketball with the students as I supervised recess. I was no good at basketball. That didn’t matter. It was what was needed on certain days with certain students.

How else might building relationships work in our lives?

Happiness research tells us that we are healthier and live longer when we have significant relationships. We addressed this is episode 5 and 20, we’ll link to those below.

You might be pleasant to the waiter, and ask for something in a nice way. Maybe you treat the grocery clerk who is overwhelmed with a long line with kindness. These things are easy to do and mean a lot.

Think about the last five times you greeted someone, maybe a student, coworker, spouse, or a stranger. When you greeted them, were you rushed? Did you stop to smile and say hello?

You never know what someone is struggling with and your smile and hello could be the bright spot of their day.

That is a great transition for life lesson number 2.

Life lesson 2: All people have strengths and challenges.

Michele: We keep hearing that students today are different. I would agree that times today are different, the political climate is different, and maybe even parental support is different. Rules and expectations are also different. But students? Maybe not.

My grandmother talked about the challenges she faced in the past. During the depression, most children came to school with no lunch. They didn’t have enough food. My grandmother felt fortunate because she had two pieces of bread covered with lard. Now that sounds disgusting to us today, but for children with no access to food, lard sandwiches sound pretty good.

Years ago, I taught students who were homeless and one family of students who lived in their car. I saw a lot of students with trauma. I vividly remember a seventh grade boy who was the main caretaker of his young brother and sister. He cooked for them, did homework with them, bathed them and put them to bed every night. He also used his Mom’s checkbook to pay the bills and buy groceries. I worked with a 12 year old who was the victim of incest. I took away knives and even guns from middle school students. I brought food for first graders who showed up without snacks or lunch. I’ve filled out mandatory reports on multiple instances of abuse and neglect. I taught kids with alcoholic and drug addicted parents.

I appreciate the emphasis on students with trauma today. I am glad that we are recognizing it and addressing it. It is long overdue. Students have always had challenges and will continue to have challenges.

The idea that people have strengths and challenges applies to everyone. We can recognize those strengths and challenges and support people in the ways they need.

Where can you see someone’s gifts and challenges and support them?

Michele: I’ve made it a goal to buy art for my house from struggling artists or students. It’s fun to find little gems and I know that no one else will have those things in their home.

I’ve also taught a friend with severe anxiety both breathing exercises and tapping on pressure points as a way to help her focus and get back in control. I will even do it with her on the phone. I’m not a medical expert, but this is something I have used personally and I know it can benefit her as well.

Paula: I was having a conversation today with two soon-to-be teachers. We were talking about the ways that schools are set up and the ways things happen. It is very fitting to our conversation today. We need to challenge ourselves to not look through the traditional lens of what traditional schools tells us are students’ strengths and weaknesses. For example, that strong willed first grader is going to be an amazing leader someday and may impress us all as she sits at the head of the boardroom table, yet those same skills can be seen as a detriment in traditional schooling.

We challenge you to look at kids a little differently. Throughout the history of schooling, kids have always had challenges and always will. The same is true of our families and friends. We all benefit when someone recognizes and responds with caring and understanding to our individual strengths and challenges.

Life lesson 3: Good things don’t come easily.

We live in an era of instant gratification. We can order something from Amazon and have it delivered within a day. If we need information, we can look it up on our phones and have it in seconds. It might be jading us, sifting our expectation of how long things take.

This is another one of those ideas our grandparents talked about. In this country, we pride ourselves on hard work, a good day’s labor and solid work ethic.

How might this show up in school?

We can teach students processes. For example- writing. Good writing doesn’t always flow right out of the pen or computer. There are often steps such as coming up with an idea, jotting down notes, writing drafts etc. It is often done over time.

Sports teams understand this concept. Coaches teach drills and players do the drills repeatedly, getting better and better at it.

The same is true of music or art. It takes practice to get better.

When it comes to academics, we can teach students that learning takes time, and it doesn’t always come easily. They gradually grow in knowledge and skill. We can emphasize having a growth mindset, and model it in ourselves.

We can also teach students to make goals and even to plan for the future that they want.

The way this is showing up today is with Carol Dweck and her Growth Mindset idea, or Angela Duckworth and her grit concept. It also connects to resiliency, which we discussed on episode 27. There is also a movement in schools today to teach goal setting as a form of self-regulation.

It is always a great reminder, that good things often take time and work. We can’t expect things to happen in a social media second.

Another life lesson is that change is inevitable.

Life lesson 4: Change is inevitable.

We have always experienced change and we will always experience change in the future.

Have you ever noticed that people who struggle to accept change are often miserable?

Sometimes we can manipulate change, and sometimes we can slow it down. We can rarely stop it completely.

In a previous episode we talked about the changes with computers in schools, and phones in schools. Now it is AI.

Think about the use of video. Once it was reel- to -reel films or filmstrips in schools. Then it became educational television. Now we can access all kinds of video from our computers.

Another example of change is libraries. It’s amazing the way libraries have changed. Libraries were once the place that held books, and later books and videos. Now, libraries are not just about books. You can check out boxes of Legos, specialty cooking pans, or even gardening materials.

Libraries have also become community centers, places where you can work together in groups, hold a meeting or even conduct job interviews. Libraries are sponsors of life-long education offering art and music classes for Moms and tots, genealogy research groups, and even tax preparation or cooking classes.

You can still go to libraries to access information, but librarians do so much more than stand behind a desk and check out books. They have become adept at helping people find information online as well as teaching technology skills.

Michele: In my local library you can even access a podcasting studio or use a 3D printer.

While some people say that libraries are outdated and we no longer need them, the visionaries are viewing libraries as a way to bring communities together and support community interests and needs. It is a different way of thinking about what libraries are and what they could be.

Change can be difficult. It can alter how we think and what we do.

How can we deal with change successfully?

Learn about whatever is changing. When you understand something, it is less frightening.
Take baby steps in trying and apply something.
Ask for help and guidance.
Find a mentor or teacher who is ahead of you in the change process.
Look for the silver linings-like in the example we just gave you about libraries, and what has happened because people embraced change.

Michele: A mentor of mine, Dan Miller, a radio podcaster, coach, and author of 48 Days to the Work You Love always says of change, “What does this make possible?” When you look at change that way, it is automatically more positive.

This leads us to our last life lesson.

Life lesson 5: How we spend our time is how we spend our days, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

This seems like a big life lesson, and it encompasses a lot.

Think about your days as being full of time. We break our days down into minutes and hours, or class periods. How do you spend that time? You have all had the experience of having days go by, almost as if on auto pilot. Every day was full of minutes and hours rushing by. Before you know it weeks have flown by, and then years. The baby that was born seemingly yesterday is now starting school. Before you know it you are middle aged and sending your kids off to college.

You’ve probably said things like,

“Time flies”… or “It seems like yesterday”…or, “Where has time gone?”

What does this tell you?

For this life lesson, we want you to think about habits. Think of habits, because so much of our time is spent with things that are our habits. We spend our minutes with habits. It tells us to look carefully at our habits and build habits that are useful. We can also help children to build good habits when they are young, and also as they grow older. They need habits that will serve them well for the rest of their lives.

For example, let’s say that you haven’t set aside time and made a habit of packing a healthy lunch. So instead, in the morning you throw five or six cookies into a baggie and that becomes your lunch. A couple of hours later, when you are in an important meeting, you have a sugar high crash. You’re not the best you could have been at that meeting, you likely let down your colleagues, and you could barely stay awake. Then when you get home, you are probably feeling bad about the meeting and you don’t have the energy to make a healthy supper. So you resort to something easy, not healthy. It continues day in and day out. Just that one little habit of not packing a healthy lunch impacts your day, your week, and maybe even your year and that of those around you.

When we think about how our days and weeks become our years, it tells us to pay attention to things that matter. Are you enjoying your days? Are you getting to do things you love to do? If you are unhappy most of the time, or spend your days doing things you hate, then what does that say about your life? What does it say when you keep repeating things you don’t care about?

Are you spending time with people you care about? If how we spend our days is how we spend our lives, who do you want to be spending your days with and are you spending your days with them? This goes right back to relationships and the power of having good relationships.

Ultimately how you spend your days matters. You can’t control every minute of your days, but there is a lot you can control. What you do matters, because it is going to make up your life.

If you want to have an inspiring life, you are going to need to make some inspiring choices.

We hope these five lessons hold true for you as they do for us.

Recap:

Today we discussed five life lessons that have worked across the years both at work at school and at home. #1: Significant learning does not take place without significant relationships. #2 All people have strengths and challenges. #3 reminds us that good things don’t come easily. #4 is that change is inevitable. And lastly, how we spend our time is how we spend our days, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives. These are all lessons that stand the test of time.

Quote:

“ What does this make possible?”

Dan Miller

Resources mentioned in this episode:

48 Days to the Work You Love by Dan Miller

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired Together Teachers podcast episode 5 The Power of Community

Inspired Together Teachers Podcast Episode 20 Build Your Star System of Support

Inspired Together Teachers podcast episode 27 What Every Teacher Needs to Know About Resilience

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Stop Procrastinating! Ep. 29

September 13, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Stop Procrastinating! S. 2 E. 29

Check out this episode to get a handle on procrastination and strategies to stop procrastinating.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you ever procrastinate? Based on our own experiences, we’re going to guess that the answer is yes. Procrastination is an almost universal experience. Why do we procrastinate? What forms does our procrastination take? And most importantly, what are some steps we can take to tackle procrastination? In this episode, we’re talking about our old nemesis, procrastination.

In this episode:

Today we’re going to start our discussion of procrastination with the famous and funny words of Ellen Degeneres: “ Procrastinate now. Don’t put it off.” We can’t put this off. We’d all like to avoid things, but we need to discuss procrastination.

Michele: At the risk of making me feel ineffective or even unprofessional, I am going to go ahead and admit that I have been known to procrastinate. Thinking about procrastination made me wonder about when I most procrastinate and why I might be procrastinating. I am definitely a person who has goals and agendas and scheduling skills and I can get things done. On the other hand, there are things in my life I have procrastinated on, sometimes even for years.

Paula: I can 100% relate and I’m sure some of our listeners can too. In some tasks I am super efficient. I can even surprise myself sometimes with how quickly I can work through a to do list. But there are other tasks I have been putting off for weeks, months or even years.

Michele: As I was digging into this topic, I was curious about when and why I procrastinate. So I thought I would look into it. I made a list of a few of the things that I procrastinate over. Some are small, and others are bigger. For example, I procrastinate with grading papers when I know they are longer, that I will have to give a lot of feedback, or when I know it will be very time consuming. I procrastinate when I work on a podcast outline when I am not inspired by a topic and I want it to be both useful and inspiring to our listeners. When I feel like I don’t have something to say, I won’t start. A third example is that I have a family heirloom, a chair that was handmade by my husband’s great grandfather. It is in desperate need of a makeover and is not useful as it is. It is currently deteriorating even further in our basement. I know I can sand it and refinish it and give it a new fabric cover. I have procrastinated on this for years because it is an important family piece and I am afraid I won’t get it right.

Paula: I am amazed that though we always come up with our examples separately, we always come up with similar things. I also avoid correcting long papers or when they are not electronic, those that are stacked up really high. I often avoid tasks that can’t be completed in a day like cleaning out a closet, sorting through old clothes that no longer fit me or my kids and then making the 20 minutes trip across town to Goodwill to donate them. Like you, Michele, I have family heirloom that needs to be framed in a shadowbox. It’s an outfit worn by my grandmother and my mother and me. It can no longer be worn. I know it will involve specialty framing, and I have been avoiding that particular task for two years and counting.

So now that we have opened up some of the things we procrastinate on, let’s dig in to why we procrastinate.

Why do we procrastinate?

Let’s look at some of the most common reasons we procrastinate.

One of the most common reasons is fear. What if it doesn’t work? What will people think? What if I mess up?

Perfectionism- this is another form of fear. You’re afraid of failure or doing something wrong.

Sometimes you procrastinate because you don’t know the next steps. You can’t move forward because you need information or help. Who could help you?

Another reasons is that you’re not inspired. This often relates to creative activities.

It could be that you’re waiting for the right time. Or, you’re waiting for someone else.

Many reasons for procrastination are connected to time. You feel like you don’t have enough time. Or, you might be time challenged and overestimate the amount of time something takes. Or, you underestimate the amount of time a task will take so you will do in later, and as we know, sometimes later never comes.

And lastly, a big reason for procrastination is that a task feels very large and very overwhelming. Once again, we compare this to the idea of washing dishes. Done regularly, it is a quick job. But if you put it off, the dishes build up higher and higher until you feel like you just want to burn the whole kitchen down.

What forms does procrastination take?

What does procrastination look like? At its very basic level, it looks like not getting things done. The problem is bigger than that.

Procrastination is sneaky, and it can take many forms. Sometimes it even disguises itself to look as if you are taking productive and sensible measures.

Michele: For example, procrastination might also look like you are waiting for more time. I thought I needed more time to move my fall and winter clothes out of my closet and get my spring and summer things out and then get everything organized. I needed a half a day to do it right. I never had a half a day. All my summer things got jammed in with all my winter things and my closet was a mess. I lived with it that way all summer, digging through the sweaters to find the t-shirts. The good news is that now I can just remove the summer things. It would have been better to get a couple of tubs out and just get them out of the closet and out of the way. I could have done it in 20 minutes. Is it going to be perfect? No, but done is sometimes better than perfect.

Paula: Because I like to keep busy and don’t do so well with sitting, for me, procrastination looks like doing anything and everything except what I am procrastinating about. I might paint a room, organize dresser drawers, or revamp a good lesson plan to make it great. My student’s deserve it! When I am procrastinating I can convince myself how important and time sensitive all of these other tasks are. I will do anything rather than what I am supposed to be doing.

Here are some other ways procrastination might show up:

You are waiting for the right time to do something. The right time might never actually come. You might say, “ I’ll start tomorrow, or next week, or as soon as we go back to school”. You’re waiting for the right time.

You wait to do something because you need more knowledge, or experience or wisdom. You are waiting until you are ready. This form of procrastination is self-doubt, and it can keep you learning forever. Sometimes, you learn best in the process of doing something. Self-doubt turns to confidence with positive experience.

Paula gives an example of learning to crochet from her grandmother and inheriting her crochet needles. She wants to crochet, but only knows one stitch so she she doesn’t start.

Procrastination might also look like endlessly scrolling social media. Before you know it, you’ve spent way too much time watching reels about things you probably don’t even care much about. Or it might look like watching television shows mindlessly, or scrolling while you’re mindlessly watching TV.

It might also look like online shopping. It is more fun to buy more clothes than clean out your closet or buy kitchen gadgets rather than clean the kitchen.

Michele: Or in my case, to buy more books than finish all the ones I have already bought. I sometimes get overwhelmed by all the books I have and then don’t know where to start. That is another form of procrastination- you don’t know where to start so you just don’t start.

Paula: We both do this! We should compare our stacks of books! I recently had a pile so high that I had to create two separate piles!

Procrastination might show up as boredom. It might show up as restlessness, or not feeling like doing anything. Resisting taking action makes us feel unsettled and uncomfortable. That is often followed by general unhappiness or guilt that we didn’t do something.

Procrastination can also show up in more serious forms. An aspiring singer gets laryngitis the night of the big competition. The speaker is so afraid of speaking in public that they become physical ill and has to cancel. There are connections between our minds and our bodies which can cause many forms of illness. This is a much more serious form of procrastination.

Now that we know what procrastination looks like, how do we stop procrastinating?

How to stop procrastinating.

We don’t like to procrastinate, but how do we stop it?

Just get started. Michele: I find this works with things like grading papers. It isn’t my favorite job, but I have to do it. Usually, once I get started I don’t mind it so much and can almost always stay focused until I am finished.
Ask for help, then go do it.
If the task is large or overwhelming, just take the next step. Author Anne Lamott tells a great story in her book Bird By Bird. Her brother is sitting at the kitchen table trying to write a report about birds that he has put off until the last possible minute. He shares his frustration with his father, who tells him, “Bird by bird, Buddy, just take it bird by bird.” Bird by bird has become a great analogy for breaking things down into smaller parts that are more easily finished.
As yourself, how would a professional handle this? Then do that. When Beyonce is nervous and afraid to go on stage, she brings out her alter ego, “Sasha Fierce”, who is never afraid!
Ask your self- why do you want to do whatever it is you are putting off? Sometimes you don’t need to do it, if so, let it go. Maybe someone else can do it better or someone else enjoys that task.
Compete only against yourself. Comparison will stop you from trying. You are not in this world to be other people, you are in this world to be the best and most unique version of yourself. Your way might be different, and that is okay. Show up as yourself and for yourself. For example, if you are putting off starting a new exercise routine, track the minutes you walk or the number of yoga poses you know. In Paula’s example she should not compare herself to her grandmother, who was far more experienced with crochet. She needs to just make a pot holder, rather than try to crochet an entire blanket. As a side note, we will share the photo of the potholder when she finishes it!

Recap:

We’ve all experienced procrastination. Procrastination is a form of self-sabotage. It will slow you down, weaken your power, and stop you from living your best life. When you recognize why you procrastinate and see the many forms it takes when it shows up, you can begin to take steps to overcome it.

Quote:

“ Procrastinate now. Don’t put it off.”

Ellen Degeneres

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

The Power of Being Yourself Ep. 28

September 6, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

The Power of Being Yourself S.2 E.28

You are unique and talented and have many gifts to share with the world. Listen to this episode to discover the power of being yourself.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

What would happen if you were to live your life as the truest version of yourself, the version of yourself that you like best? We are all on a journey of self -awareness, whether you realize it or not. According to Joseph Campbell, “The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.” In this episode we are exploring the power of being yourself.

In this episode:

We’ve been talking about a lot of topics that empower us to grow in positive ways. We’ve had podcasts on the power of building a positive support system, the power of being more confident, of real-self care, creativity and the power of designing your life. Today, we are focusing on the power of being your true self.

Caroline McHugh, a speaker who trains Fortune 500 companies, politicians, world-class athletes, global economists, and artists to embrace their unique selves, says, “When you figure out how to be yourself, it’s an incredibly liberating way to go through life.”

She has recorded one of our favorite TED Talks, The Art of Being Yourself.

McHugh says that most of us sleepwalk through our lives. That usually works until something catastrophic happens to wake us up and force us to take a different path.

Rather than take that path when we are at our lowest points, why not do this work when we are in a stronger, better place? McHugh says, “With each passing year, our job is to be better and better at who we really are.”

How can you apply this philosophy to your own life? The answer is to learn more about yourself and apply that knowledge in service of the person you are when you are happiest and most fulfilled.

Think of Your 8 year old self.

McHugh says that when you are a child, you know how to be yourself.

Think of yourself as an eight-year-old, before society started to change you by telling you who you should be. What were you like? What were your interests? What did you like to do? What skills or talents did you use or start to develop? What made you happy?

What does your eight-year-old self tell you about who you are at your core?

Society will try to tell you who to be.

Unfortunately, the world has a way of telling us who we should be.

It might come from a label you were given as a child, “the smart one”, “the pretty one”, “ the talkative one”, “the quiet one”, “the athletic one” and others. These labels may have placed us in a role that may or may not be true.

There is also societal pressure to be and do like others. This usually starts in middle school and grabs ahold of us when we are vulnerable as we try to figure out who we are.

We learn that revealing our true selves might be risky, that we won’t fit in, and we won’t be accepted. It seems easier to conform and just fit in.

However, pretending who we are not comes at a price. It can affect your self-esteem and confidence and limit your potential.

Understand your gifts and talents.

If you are going to be more of who you are, you need to understand what makes you unique and special. What are your strengths? What are your talents and gifts?

Michele shares that one of the saddest things she has discovered in doing workshops is that many people, especially women, immediately say that they don’t have any gifts or talents. Why is this such a phenomenon?

We don’t always see our gifts and talents because to us they are as natural as breathing.
Our families might not have the experience or skills to recognize our talents.
Schools don’t always foster the innate gifts in children.
We think our gifts aren’t useful in a job so we ignore them.
We don’t understand that here are many kinds of gifts and talents.

It is worth sharing that we often think of talents and gifts in a way that is too narrow. There are hundreds of gifts you might have. Here are some examples:

visionary confidence make people laugh loving intellectually curious

storyteller listening fair diplomatic consistent self management dexterity

persuasive social media savvy intuitive achiever

Organized creative trend setting problem solving

motivational reliable adaptable analytical positive

Focused empathetic futuristic connect people

time management imaginative harmonizer joyous

If you took your skills and stretched them- where could they lead you?

For example, no one ever says their gift is time management. Yet being able to manage time effectively is very valuable in the world and is an exceptional gift.

You may have used tools to learn more about yourself such as StrengthsFinders, The Enneagram, True Colors, Myers Briggs, DISC, MMPI, and others. You can learn a lot about yourself from these kinds of tools. Going back to look at the results of such tests can help you see your gifts.

We are both certified Enneagram Trainers, and we appreciate how it helps us to see the gifts and talents in others.

Here are a few more ways to learn about yourself:

Analyze your jobs, what did you love or dislike about each one?
Text ten friends and ask them to tell you your best traits and skills. It’s eye opening and validating!
Follow the joy. What is your fun? What do you love? What you love is often what you are gifted at!
Look for patterns in your life. What comes up for you over and over?

Your Hero Journey

We use our gifts and talents in service of our lives. We are all on a journey, and it is easier when we are being our most authentic selves.

Let’s consider the hero journey. Many popular books and movies follow what is known as the journey motif. Dr. Joseph Campbell identified it as “the hero saga.” Think of classics like the Harry Potter series, The Wizard of Oz, The Lord of the Rings, the Indiana Jones movies or the Star Wars sagas.

In these stories, our hero is alone, not feeling completely fulfilled perhaps, but life is fine.

We’ve talked about the word fine, and that if you constantly say that things are fine, it is a sign that you are comfortable, but that in order to grow, you might need to take a step outside of your comfort zone.

Let’s go back to our hero’s story, our hero, who is not a hero yet, is called to some adventure. There is a task that must be completed, such as finding the way home through an unfamiliar place, stopping someone from doing an evil deed, or saving the planet. The hero resists, but eventually accepts the call.

Think about what is calling you? What adventure is in your world? What are you being asked to do that is exciting and that fills a need? What would you love to do if only you could figure out a way to do it?

The hero then meets a guide, friend, or mentor who helps them navigate the new and uncertain terrain. Think of Professor Dumbledore, the Good Witch, Gandalf, and Obi Wan Kenobi. Along the way the hero meets many challenges and faces enemies. Sometimes it seems that it would be easier to quit, but our heroes persist. They must face those dragons and overcome them, and if they do, they will find what they seek. The journey is transformational in the best ways.

We’ve talked about the power of a supportive community many times on this podcast. Who is there to support you in your journey? We are happy to be a part of your supportive community as mentors, guides, or friends.

In a graduation address to Spellman College, Howard Thurman said,

“There is something in everyone of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself. It is the only true guide you will ever have. And if you cannot hear it, you will all of your life spend your days on the ends of strings that somebody else pulls.”

We are all unique and magnificent human beings. Unfortunately, we don’t always see it or acknowledge it. Sometimes you catch a glimmer of it. You sense a specialness in yourself. You feel a longing for something, but you are not sure exactly what it is. It is a feeling that something is missing.

This is the call to the journey. If you are brave enough to accept it and willing to deal with the challenges along the way, you will return home transformed.

Today, we challenge you to listen to your own calling, that inner voice that is telling you that there is something more and better, that you can do important things, or that there is something you can give to the world that is still inside of you.

That vision can become reality, and it starts when you understand and embrace the power of being yourself.

Recap:

You have talents and gifts that make you special and unique. When you use your gifts to live as the version of yourself that you like best, you will be open to a journey that offers something challenging yet worthwhile, which can result of life changing positive transformation.

Quote:

Howard Thurman

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

What Every Teacher Needs to Know About Resilience Ep.27

August 30, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

What Every Teacher Needs to Know About Resilience S.2 E.27

Listen to this episode to find out why resilience for teachers is both needed and beneficial, and you can become more resilient.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

We’re hearing about it everywhere and you are probably hearing about it too. It has become the latest buzzword word in education. We’re talking about resilience. We all have an idea of what it means to be resilient, and a vague idea of why teachers need resilience. But, why is this today’s buzzword? Is resilience overhyped? What is resilience? Why do you need to be more resilient? And most importantly, how can you become more resilient? Today we are exploring resilience.

In this episode:

Resilience has resurfaced as one of the recent buzz words in education. Everyone is talking about it. We’re told that we need to teach students to be more resilient. We’re also told that teachers need to be more resilient, and then given some vague help like, you need to journal to be more grateful.

There is nothing wrong with gratitude journaling, but it got us thinking. What do we really know about resilience? Why do we need to be more resilient, and how can we become more resilient?

What is resilience?

Resilience refers to the ability to adapt, bounce back, and recover from challenges, adversity, or setbacks. It involves maintaining one’s mental and emotional well-being during difficult times and finding ways to effectively cope with stress and hardship. Resilience is not about avoiding difficulties, it is about facing them with a positive and adaptable mindset.

Given that definition, it is easy to see why there is so much talk about resilience for teachers.

In your life and in your work, you are always going to have challenges. Those challenges will affect your mental and emotional wellbeing. Resilience is the ability to deal with those challenges- to take positive action, to reduce potential stress. It is about understanding the personal power you have to deal with your challenges in a way that feels right to you. We say it all the time, you have more power than you think!

Resilient people choose their reactions and focus on the things that they can control. We’ve preciously discussed why you should be focusing on your circle of control in podcast episode 8, Choose Your Battles.

Why do we need to be resilient?

Coping with Challenges: Life is full of challenges, and individuals who are resilient are better equipped to navigate these challenges without becoming overwhelmed by them.
Mental Health: Resilience plays a crucial role in maintaining good mental health. It helps all of us manage stress, anxiety, and depression more effectively.
Adaptability: Resilient people can adapt to changes and uncertainties more easily, which is particularly valuable in a rapidly changing world.
Personal Growth: Overcoming adversity can lead to personal growth and increased self-confidence. People who are resilient often learn valuable life lessons from their experiences.

Here are some times when you might have been resilient in your teaching….

You may have adapted to online learning during the pandemic- learning new skills quickly and finding creative ways to engage your students virtually.
You may have developed strategies to engage that student who was especially challenging, connecting with them while still maintaining a positive classroom environment for all of your students.
Maybe you found effective ways to navigate working with challenging parents, coworkers or administrators without letting others peoples’ negativity zap your passion.
If you are working on best handling the workload pressures of teaching to avoid burnout so you can maintain your love of teaching, you are being resilient!

In each of these examples, resilience involves adapting to different situations, maintaining a solution-oriented mindset, and prioritizing the well-being of your students and yourselves despite the challenges you face as an educator.

How can you become more resilient?

Consider how you think about challenges and what you say about them.

In a recent article, Harvard psychologist Dr. Cortney Warren discussed phrases that people often use that demonstrate that they are more resilient than most. We decided to reverse the process with the idea that if we start to use these phrases, we are acting in more resilient ways, and repeated use of phrases like these will become a habit. It is the old idea that if you want something, act as if.

For example, if you want to eat more healthy foods, act as if you are a person who eats healthy foods. Then, when confronted by a doughnut or a bowl of Greek yogurt, ask yourself, “Which one of these would a healthier eater choose?” Then do that.

In the same way, when confronted by a challenge, use the types of phrases that resilient people use. If you keep doing it, gradually, it becomes a habit. Act as if.

Let’s look at some specific examples.

1. “I can get through this.” Or, “As much as I hate this, I can survive it.”

Example: You are facing a very difficult parent-teacher meeting. You are upset and nervous. However, you plan what you will say and have good examples of student work to share with the parent.

Emotional resilience is associated with grit and mental toughness. There is an understanding that we have to be strong and overcome adversity without letting it break us.

2. “I’m not going to let myself be a victim.”

Example: You have a great idea for ways to implement a new curriculum. You share it with a colleague, who then brings up the idea at a faculty meeting as if it was her own idea.

You are angry and hurt. Of course you are! But you don’t want to cause a problem. You feel like a victim.

Being resilient means that when you experience the pain of mistreatment, you shift your perspective from “I’m a victim and powerless to help myself” to “How can I grow from this?”

You resolve to talk to that teacher and let her know that you didn’t appreciate that she passed off your ideas as her own. You then ask for her to give you the credit that you deserve.

3. “What can I learn from this?”

Openness to experiences and the ability to shift your perspective from “Why did this happen to me?” to “What can I take from this to help me grow?” can help you better navigate through life’s inevitable ups and downs.

Example: You have a meeting with your administrator and find out that you were implementing a new initiative in the wrong way. There was clearly a communication breakdown somewhere along the line and you are worried that it might have been a large part on your end. You can feel bad about yourself or you can say, “what can I learn from this?”.

4. “I need some time.”

A key component of resilience is emotional flexibility, or the ability to regulate your feelings and reduce their intensity in a given situation. Mastery over this can help us feel empowered during challenging times.

Example: You encounter a negative colleague in the hallway. They corner you and tell you that they are upset about something you said to another teacher that clearly upset them (though you may still be wondering why that upset them so much). They want to argue it out right there in the hallway.

You could also say, “I’m feeling a strong emotion, so I’m going to take a moment before I respond or make any big decisions.” In this way you can respond and stay professional while also giving yourself some time to reflect. We’ve both benefited from this idea, and realize that with more time, we could be less reactive and make better choices.

5. “It is what it is.”

The key to resilience is not denying reality or seeking out a reason that makes us feel better about why something happened. When we arrive at a place of radical acceptance, the situation has less power over us.

Example: We both say this phrase often. When we encounter a roadblock in our business, one of us will likely say, “It is what it is” and then we move into problem solving mode. For example, this past summer we reserved a room at a local venue to conduct a summer workshop. Right after we booked the room and put down the down payment, we learned that a large educational conference was planned for the same day and in the same city. Obviously, we had no control over the date of the large conference so we had to move our workshop to a different date so local teachers did not have to choose between the two. This meant contacting the venue, changing our date, updating all of our marketing materials and moving our workshop to a date that wasn’t our first choice. But it just was what it was. Being upset about it wouldn’t have changed the reality of the situation. If you are wondering how it turned out, we had a lovely group of teachers and an excellent workshop on our 2^nd choice date.

6. “I’m letting this go.”

Staying mired in resentment, wanting retribution, or focusing on payback keeps us holding on to past pain. Developing resilience requires getting to a place where we can see difficult life circumstances for what they are and actively choosing to let them go.

The next time you find yourself on the edge of something you can’t control, let it go. It does not serve you to waste your time and energy on something that is out of your control. This has been a great mantra for me personally, and has saved a lot of useless worry at the expense of my mental health.

“Dr. Warren also suggests that resilient people use these additional phrases that you may want to try out:

“Life is hard.”

“I won’t always be happy with how things play out. But it’s part of the journey.”

“This, too, shall pass.”

“Each day is an opportunity to feel a little better.”

“I may be struggling, but I can find a way to be thankful for the good things in my life.”

“There’s always a gift, even in the darkest experiences — I just need to figure out what it is. How can I use this experience to empower and transform me?”

These phrases are connected to many of the topics we’ve cover on this podcast, growth mindset, mindset shifts, your circle of control, being bold, setting boundaries and others. In the beginning of this episode we questioned, why the hype? Do teachers need resilience? Our answer is a resounding yes, now more than ever. And, with a little thought and practice in how you phrase your experiences, you can develop more emotional resilience.

Recap:

Resiliency is a valuable skill and it helps us to navigate our challenges in a positive way. With some practice you can learn to reframe your experiences in a way that makes you stronger.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Harvard psychologist: If you use any of these 9 phrases, ‘you’re more emotionally resilient than most’ cnbc.com

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired Together Teachers Podcast ep. 8, Choose Your Battles

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Who Influences You? Ep.26

August 23, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Who influences You? S. 2 E. 26

Listen to this episode to understand who influences you and how they affect your attitudes, behaviors, beliefs and actions.

Show Notes

Episode Summary:

The people who are around us influence our every day actions and behaviors. They also influence our beliefs, our values, and our attitudes. Who influences you and are they influencing you in a way that is positive? Today we’re talking about the people around you and how to make sure their influence is helping you to live the life you want to live.

In this episode:

You may have heard this often shared quote by author, speaker, and personal development coach Jim Rohn, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

This quote speaks to your environment, and how your environment affects you. Today we are going to break this down and look at the implications.

So, who are the five people you spend the most time with? We’re talking adults here, not your children or the students you work with.

Go ahead and take a couple of minutes to think of your five people.

Ready? Let’s take a look at how the people we spend the most time with influence us.

The people you spend the most time with influence your daily habits.

Your daily habits influence almost every aspect of your life. We’re looking at small things here, for example, what you eat or drink, and what you wear. They influence the books you read, the TV shows you watch and the movies you go to.

You have all probably experienced the phenomenon of showing up at school dressed your colleagues. That’s happened to us, and we see you and your colleagues dressed alike in your Instagram and Facebook posts.

All of these may seem like very small things, but small things take up much of our time, and in doing so, have the power to shape our lives in ways we may or may not have intended.

For example, Paula is a reader. She loves historical fiction and could happily read it for the rest of her life. However, a good friend convinced her that memoirs on audio were wonderful. Her friend’s latest recommendation was Finding Me by Viola Davis. Paula loved the book and found herself enjoying other memoirs as well. It is a perfect example of how a small act by a friend influenced not only Paula’s reading habits, but also how she views others as she learns about their lives.

The people around you influence your actions.

If we take the habits idea one step bigger, we are looking at how others influence your actions. You likely buy drive a car that is similar to the people around you. You go on vacation to the same campground or resort your friends have been to. If all of your friends smoke, it becomes easy for you to smoke as well.

The people around you influence how you spend your time. If the five people you spend the most time with spend their time taking classes for professional growth, you are more likely to do so. If they spend their time hanging out in bars or playing tennis, you will likely do so as well.

We are not making judgements here, we want to make you aware that you are probably being influenced by others, even if you aren’t consciously aware of it.

At our workshops, we will often have teacher friends attend together. One of them will always say something like, “I thought the workshop sounded interesting but I hadn’t taken action to sign up. Then, when my teacher bestie messaged me to see if we wanted to go together, we were both signed up by the end of the day. We like to do things together. She loves to learn and so do I so when we can do so together, we are all in.”

The people you spend the most time with influence your world view.

If you live in a bubble, it can be difficult to see outside of that bubble. We may be enriched by opening up our worldview, to understand different points of view, different options, and different opportunities.

The more we know about different ways of life, of different cultures, and different perspectives, the more we understand other people. This filters down to our work with children, as we can better understand their background and experiences, we can work with them in more supportive ways.

Recently we worked with a teacher who shared that her worldview was opened up through travel. Until she was married, she had never traveled outside of her home state, and even then rarely beyond a hundred miles or so. Her husband had family all over the world, and after they were married, she traveled with him to see family. She was amazed at different foods, different cultural traditions, and even different climates. Prior to these experiences, she often just thought that everyone was raised and lived with the same values and culture as she had experienced in her small farming community. She saw her family’ ways as the right ways. After traveling, she realized that there are many right ways to live. She came to understand that other families also cared about their loved ones, and that they worked hard to provide for their families needs too.

Author Brene Brown says, “It is hard to hate people close up.” Expanding your world view helps you to know and understand other views. It doesn’t mean you will change your values, or what you personally believe, but it does mean that you respect that there are other points of view.

The people you spend the most time with influence your attitude.

When you think about people you know, you can probably think of some negative people. These are people who are often in a bad mood, who bring a lot of drama, or who are naysers. They bring you down and drain your energy.

It is also possible that this influence comes through who you are friends with on social media. Do you read posts from negative people, or people who are always complaining?

On the opposite spectrum are people who are positive and supportive. They have an optimistic outlook. They are consciously working on their own goals and their own improvement. They are energy bringers, and life affirmers.

Here is an example. When you are watching television, you are basically inviting the characters into your living room. If you regularly watch a show with an angry, abrasive character who is rude and condescending, you are essentially allowing that person into your house every time they are on the screen. If they showed up at your front door, then acted obnoxiously in your living room day in and day out, would you let them in? Probably not. Yet when you turn on the television out of habit, you are exposed to that negative behavior on a regular basis. The same could be said about kind and caring individuals on your screen.

Whether it is a series, a movie, or a short video on social media, consider this- would I let that person walk in my room right now and spend time with my loved ones? If not, maybe it is a sign to “spend less time” with them.

What kind of attitude are the five people you are spending the most time with bringing into your life?

Do you want to be surrounded by people who complain and whine? People with no vision except for what is right in front of them? People who drain your energy or make you constantly defensive? People who kill your dreams, the naysers and dream slayers?

Do you want to surround yourself with people who hold you back?

Or do you want to be surrounded by growth minded people, people who are optimistic and inspiring? Do you want to be around people who bring positive change, and people who bring out the best in you?

We’ve chosen to surround ourselves with people who are daring to lead an inspired life. That is the basis for this podcast, which we explained in the very first episode.

The decision is yours- do you choose to be around people who suck the life out of you or people who bring life to you?

You get to choose who you spend the most time with.

Choose wisely.

Recap:

The people who are around us influence our every day actions and behaviors. Take time to think about the people you spend the most time with. These people are influencing your beliefs, values, attitudes, habits, world view and actions. Are your people influencing you in a way that is positive and that helps you to live the life you want to live? Surround yourself with people who lift you up and inspire you. They are impacting you daily.

Quotes:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

Jim Rohn

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Book: Finding Me by Viola Davis

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired together Teachers podcast Episode one The Inspired Life

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

5 Life Lessons that Stand the Test of Time

S. 2 E.30

Listen to this episode to learn 5 life lessons that have staying power!

Show Notes

Episode Summary:

We begin with a few cautionary words.

What are some lessons that stand the test of time?

Life lesson 2: All people have strengths and challenges.

Life lesson 3: Good things don’t come easily.

Life lesson 5: How we spend our time is how we spend our days, how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.

Recap:

Quote:

Share this:

Stop Procrastinating! S. 2 E. 29

Check out this episode to get a handle on procrastination and strategies to stop procrastinating.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Why do we procrastinate?

What forms does procrastination take?

Here are some other ways procrastination might show up:

How to stop procrastinating.

Recap:

Share this:

The Power of Being Yourself S.2 E.28

You are unique and talented and have many gifts to share with the world. Listen to this episode to discover the power of being yourself.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Think of Your 8 year old self.

Society will try to tell you who to be.

Here are a few more ways to learn about yourself:

Your Hero Journey

Recap:

Quote:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Share this:

What Every Teacher Needs to Know About Resilience S.2 E.27

Listen to this episode to find out why resilience for teachers is both needed and beneficial, and you can become more resilient.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

What is resilience?

Why do we need to be resilient?

Here are some times when you might have been resilient in your teaching….

How can you become more resilient?

Recap:

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Share this:

Who influences You? S. 2 E. 26

Listen to this episode to understand who influences you and how they affect your attitudes, behaviors, beliefs and actions.

Show Notes

Episode Summary:

Quotes:

“You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”

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