Conquering Criticism Ep. 45

January 3, 2024 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Conquering Criticism S. 3 Ep. 45

Listen to this episode to stop fearing your critics and conquer criticism!

Show notes:

The following is a summary of this episode. To experience the entire show, please listen to the episode.

Episode Summary:

Fear of criticism can be a powerful deterrent in our lives. Do you have a fear of failure? Are you afraid to let your real ideas and preferences known? Do your fears of what people will think ever hold you back from living a life you want to live? If any of these things are true, you might have a fear of criticism. Today, we’re talking about how to cope with and conquer criticism.

In this episode:

Fear of criticism is powerful because the criticism doesn’t even actually have to occur for the fear to set in. Just the memory of past criticism or the potential that people will not like or understand us is enough to shut us down.

Perfectionism is one sign of fear of criticism.

Many of us fear criticism. Nobody likes being criticized, but some people have people have a particularly strong fear around it.

According to thought leader and marketing guru Seth Godin, people aren’t afraid of failure. What we are really afraid of is criticism. We choose not to try new things, launch new initiatives, or say something remarkable or audacious because we worry that we will be called out. We worry that someone will hate our ideas. We don’t want to be laughed at or to feel foolish if someone remarks on something we have done.

You may have had a negative experience like that, and it changed your future behaviors.

That is why we are often afraid to step out of the box, to put new ideas into the world and to express our true feelings.

Fortunately, you can overcome fear of criticism.

Let’s look at some of the issues around fear of criticism and how we can overcome them.

Fear of criticism keeps you from sharing your ideas.

Have you ever been in a class or a workplace situation where a question or idea was shot down? Chances are, you learned not to speak up because you might get knocked down as well.

Holding back is sometimes safer than opening yourself up to possible criticism. We may not give our most genius selves to the world, but neither will we allow the world to crush us.

At work, this often shows up as not speaking up and sharing our ideas. Have you ever been at a faculty meeting and withheld a thought or idea?

We don’t want to be told, “that’s a stupid idea,” or “that will never work,” or “we tried that already and it didn’t work.”

It is a safe choice. It also keeps your unique ideas from getting into the world.

The next time you are hesitating to speak, take a few minutes to answer these questions:

Could my ideas offer something of value?

If you are thinking them, there is something there. Let it out into the world. Not everything will stick, and that is okay.

What is lost if I don’t speak up?

If it matters, it is worth bringing up your idea.

What if they don’t like my ideas?

If people don’t like your ideas, that’s fine. You can’t please everyone. If they question your ideas, you know they heard you. You know you said something worth remarking on.

What is the worse that could happen?

You might find that the worst thing that could happen is that someone will disagree with you or won’t like your idea. If that is the case, could you live with that? Usually, the answer is yes!

You worry about what people think.

This thought likely comes from someone saying this phrase to you as a child. It was meant as a reproach, as a way to stop you from doing or saying something. You may even have used this phrase yourself.

Why are we so afraid of what people think? Do we really care what they think? Sometimes, the answer should be no.

Too often, we worry about what people we don’t even know will think. Have you ever put on a clean shirt to go to the grocery store? Do you really care what the cashier thinks? Will they even notice?

Asking this question can be very liberating.

What other people think about us is none of our business.

That is an audacious and bold statement, and you may disagree. It takes confidence to let go of worrying about what other people think. After all, you can’t control what someone else thinks.

Sometimes you are your own worse critic.

External critics aren’t our only worry. Many of us also have a strong inner critic running rampant in our own head. Our inner critic is responsible for stopping us from doing many of the things we want to do.

It is easy to stop yourself from doing something. What if it doesn’t work out? What if they don’t get it? What if they think I am a narcissistic, raving lunatic?

Ask yourself what benefits you will get from whatever it is you are afraid to do. If the benefits outweigh the risks, it is worth a chance.

Tell that bully in your head to go away.

Then, commit. Believe. Go all in.

Reframe criticism as feedback.

Sometimes what we perceive as criticism is meant to help us, not to reprimand us.

Learn to listen to feedback without becoming angry or defensive. Even if you don’t agree with the feedback and didn’t invite, it might be an opportunity for growth or development. Ask yourself, “what can I learn from this?”

You might want to check out podcast episode 44, Finding Optimism in Silver Linings where we talk about finding the good in negative circumstances.

For example, put yourself into the shoes of a student. We are giving students feedback all day every day which they could easily interpret as criticism even if that is what we didn’t intend. Give ourselves the same expectations that we have for our student.

Don’t take everything so personally.

It is easy to take criticism to heart. It feels like a personal attack. It bruises our ego, which feels threatening.

Sometimes criticism is not about you. You don’t always know what someone else is going through. Maybe they are having a bad day and just need to vent, and you were the person in front of them.

The curt email from the principal might mean that she is super busy, not that she is upset with you.

Your friend didn’t text you back? She’s not mad at you, she just hasn’t seen it or she got interrupted before responding.

Discern if the criticism is worth your time and energy.

First of all, you listen. Then you analyze. It is true? Is it valid? Is it helpful? Is it for your improvement?

If it is worth listening to, act on it, if not, let it go.

Conclusion

We leave you with this quote for today from Aristotle, “There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”

That’s no way to live. Instead, dare to be above average, original, and unique.

Recap:

Fear of criticism can cause us to hold ourselves back and play small. When you avoid doing things that potentially cause you to be criticized, you are also withholding something value from the world. Use criticism as an opportunity for learning, and recognize that it is not always about you. You can conquer fear of criticism!

Quote:

“There is only one way to avoid criticism: Do nothing, say nothing and be nothing.”

Aristotle

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Godin, S. (2008). Tribes: We need you to lead us. New York: Penguin Group.

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired together Teachers podcast episode 44 Finding Optimism in Silver Linings

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

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More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Finding Optimism in Silver Linings Ep. 44

December 27, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers 1 Comment

Finding Optimism in Silver Linings S.3. Ep 44

Listen to this episode to discover ways to find optimism in difficult circumstances.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Have you ever been given the advice to look for the silver lining in a tough situation? Do you give that advice yourself? What does that really mean and what are the steps we should be taking to find the silver lining? Today we are discussing optimism and why looking for the silver lining can improve your work life, home life, health, and well being

In this episode:

The following is an excerpt of key points from the podcast. For the full experience, and to hear the examples and stories that help bring the ideas to life, please listen to the podcast episode.

Introduction

“Look for the silver linings” “What’s the silver lining in this situation?” “Well, at least the silver lining is that…..”

We are guessing you have heard these phrases, or some version of these phrases, many times.

How can you make the idea of silver linings something to live by, not just flippant advice?

Because it not just flippant advice. It is actually advice that can not only lengthen your life, it can improve the quality of your life.

Let’s talk about the phrase “silver lining”.

It is:

A phrase that is hundreds of years old
A metaphor comparing the shining silvery edges of a cloud backlit by the sun or moon to finding something good that comes out of a bad situation
A form of consolation- the outcome was not what you hoped but something good came about because of it.
A beacon of hope- there is a hopeful prospect in the otherwise hopeless situation.

Ultimately, it is a metaphor that sums up optimism.

It’s looking on the bright side and realizing that something good can come out of a bad situation.

We love the visual of the dark cloud with the silver lining around it telling us that there is beauty in that darkness.

When someone looks for the silver lining, it sounds something like this: “The silver lining is that even though I didn’t win the competition, I got a lot more fit in the process.”

Or, “Even though we didn’t get the funding, I met some great new friends in the grant writing process.”

Paula: What actually triggered this podcast is a conversation I was having with a young teacher the other day who was talking about a lesson that didn’t go well in the beginning of the year. She said, “The silver lining is that I learned early on what is NOT going to work with this group of students.”

Why Optimism and Silver Linings Matter

Looking for the silver linings in life can make your days more bearable.

Bad things will happen. We can choose the pessimistic route and decide that bad things happen because the world is just a bad place. We can let the negativity overpower us. There is a lot in the world that is negative and if we look for it we can surely find it. However, no one wants to be around a negative Nancy.

It also doesn’t help to have toxic positivity.

Silver Linings are in that spot in between sulking in negativity and toxic positivity.

We acknowledge that bad situations happen but there is good that can come from them. There are lessons that can be learned if we look for them. There are people we may meet or resources we might gain that we wouldn’t have otherwise had if not for that situation.

Optimism can actually be good for your health.

There are many scientific studies that show that having a positive attitude and approaching life with optimism is good for your health and can make you live longer.

According to Harvard Health, researchers have shown that people who are optimistic and have a positive outlook on life:

Have lower levels of the stress hormone cortisol
Lower levels of markers that predict heart attack and stroke
Stay healthier
Enjoy independent living longer than pessimists.

Optimism appears to protect the heart and circulation AND increases our life span.

There was a US study of almost 7,000 college students who took a comprehensive personality test in the mid 1960s. The researchers followed them for 40 years. The most pessimistic individuals had a 42% higher rate of death than the most optimistic. Two Dutch studies followed, showing that the optimists were 55% less likely to die from cardiovascular disease than the pessimists, and the optimists enjoyed a 45% lower risk of death when not just narrowing it to heart disease.

To us, that sounds like a convincing reason to look for silver linings. So why doesn’t everyone do that?

Because sometimes it is really hard to find the silver lining. It is much easier, and less work, to just see the dark cloud.

Sometimes you really have to look for the positive.

Sometimes, just by the genetic make up of being a person, we can be risk averse. We are looking for things that challenge our physical or psychological safety. It is a negativity bias that helps us to stay safe and alive. It can be easy to see threatening things and to ONLY see those things.

Also, sometimes when life and work throw a lot of things our way, it is much easier to see things as hopeless instead of looking for things to be hopeful about. The hopeless things are the big dark cloud. They are easy to see without looking too hard.

Looking for the silver lining can be difficult because you are doing two things at once- acknowledging the bad AND looking for the good in it.

For example, think of the students who are the most challenging, the ones that force you to do things you’ve never done and who try your patience. These are the students who make you a better teacher. With time, you will probably recognize that those experiences ended up creating some of your most rewarding moments.

You can take steps to find the silver lining in adverse situations.

Look for the small glimmers of hope. They may not shine too brightly in the dark of the clouds but identify those slivers of light on the edges of the situation. It is likely they are peripheral to the actual situation. Look on the outside of the situation.
Make a pros and cons list. If it is tough situation there will likely be more cons, but any of the pros you find are a part of your silver lining.
Ask others to help you find the silver lining. Friends who are not as engrossed in the situation as you are can sometimes have a more distanced perspective and can see things that may not be as clear to you.
When you find yourself listing all of the negatives of a situation, step back and give yourself time and space to look at it from a different perspective. Take a few deep breaths, change your environment or put it aside until tomorrow. Come back to it later with a fresh set of eyes and you may see that silver lining you did not see the first time.

Recap:

Negative situations will happen in your work and home life. Intentionally taking time to find the silver linings can improve your work life, home life, health ,and well being. Pessimism, and choosing to see only the dark cloud is easier, but choosing optimism and finding the silver lining will benefit you now and well into the future.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

The Power of Traditions Ep. 43

December 20, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

The Power of Traditions S. 3 E. 43

Listen to this episode to explore the ways in which traditions shape our lives.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

This is the time of year when we are all involved in planning for and carrying out traditions. What are your traditions? Do you follow traditions from your childhood or have you changed them or even gotten rid of them? Why do we even have traditions and is there still value in them? Today, we’re talking about traditions and how they affect or personal life and our life at school.

In this episode:

Note: As always, this is just a summary of the actual podcast. Please listen to the podcast for all of the examples and stories that we share.

Season’s greetings! If you’re listening to this podcast on or near the date this episode drops, we are in the midst of the holidays. We were talking about the traditions we celebrate and we decided it would be a great topic to discuss on the podcast!

So, what is the big deal with traditions? Why do we continue to follow them year after year, sometimes for a life time and sometimes for hundreds and maybe even thousands of years? Should we even bother with traditions?

And what about school traditions? What purpose do they serve? How could use traditions to strengthen your school or classroom community?

Why do we have and need traditions?

Traditions help connect one generation to another.

A common tradition is passing down beloved family recipes such as Grandma’s sugar cookies, family foods and other recipes. Food and traditions around food are often deeply ingrained in us. Passing them down through generations helps those who use the recipes or eat the foods to become connected to those who have gone on before.

Holiday parties are another tradition that bring generations together which allows the younger members of the family to spend time with grandparents or great grandparents. Holidays bring their own traditions of gifts, music, and activities that are carried down from family to family for generations.

Another example of a tradition that helps connect different groups involves student writing. One fifth grade teacher has her students write stories and memories of their year. They then turn their writing into a book and each students gets a copy. Students also write a book of letters for the next year’s students. These are full of fun stories, things to look out for, and generally give advice to students for how to be successful in the class next year. This is a fun tradition and the books are hysterical!

Traditions help teach us about our history.

Religious traditions often help people to understand and learn their religion. For example putting up a creche or nativity set, or lighting Hanukkah menorah or Kwanza Kinara often starts a conversation about the meaning of the tradition.

Another example is Armistice Day, or Remembrance Day on Nov. 11^th which celebrates the end of the first World War. It is a big deal in France, where the entire country shuts down and people visit cemeteries to honor their families. It also occurs in other countries including the United States. People wear small paper poppies on their lapels, a reminder of all of those who died during the war. When young people ask about the poppies, they learn about the history of the war and how it devastated a generation of young people, particularly young soldiers.

In Paula’s family there is a baptismal dress which has been worn by over 100 people. It was made by her great-great-great grandmother in the early to mid -1800s. It has been worn by her relatives, including herself and her children, since that time. The dress helps her family members connect to others in their family tree.

Traditions keep cultures alive.

Whether or not we know it, many of our traditions came from our families’ long history and cultural ways of living. This includes foods eaten in different parts of the world, the music of a culture, and the arts.

Recently friends of ours celebrated their wedding on Dia De Los Muertos, or Day of the Dead, a tradition day of celebration in Mexican cultures. It is a day to honor beloved relatives who have died. The wedding celebration included traditional marigolds and other beautiful, brightly colored flowers, painted faces and an offering of favorite foods and beverages surrounded by photos of departed family members. Far from a somber or scary occasion, it was the unity of two people as a new family while honoring and respecting those who have passed on.

We were fortunate enough to be able to visit a school in Ecuador which was called an indigenous school. In addition to modern learning activities, the school was intentional about keeping cultures of the families alive. There were days where students wore their tribal dress and did their tribal dances. They learned about ancient herbs that were used for medicinal purposes, and grew a garden of foods that had been grown in their mountain homelands. Even in the center of a multicultural city of over a million people, they celebrated their culture as an important part of their heritage. These teachers and families are being proactive in remembering their culture, and hopefully the children will not forget their background and traditions.

Traditions reinforce values.

When Paula’s young daughter learned that firemen had to work on Christmas, she felt bad for them. The family decided to make cookies and deliver them to the fire station on Christmas Eve. It was a way of honoring the people who do the work so we can spend time with our families. It is a great example of how traditions reinforce our values.

Schools often have canned good collections around the holidays. Kids bring in cans of food, which teaches them to be thoughtful about the needs of others. It reinforces the value of kindness.

A school where Michele taught held track and field days at the end of the school year. Each team had one kindergartener, one first grader, etc. The older kids took care of the younger ones and helped them to do well in the events. The emphasis was on life skills such as working together, playing fairly, and trying without giving up. The awards included typical event winners, but also included things like working together, kindness, following the rules, being encouraging etc. It was a great way to teach and reinforce values in a really fun way.

Traditions give us something to look forward to.

Think of the anticipation before a holiday or yearly event, you get to think about and plan for and get excited about something that is coming. We count down the days and look forward to the events. We all need that.

At school, students often look forward to traditions such as Homecoming activities. It adds some fun and can really bring energy to a school. Schools encourage crazy hats, skits, and other engaging activities. These things help students to see school as someplace that is fun, and it is a place they want to be. Wouldn’t we be better off if all students loved school and looked forward to it?

Traditions help people to create memories.

Think about those times when you get the camera out, when you gather people and talk and eat, and laugh and sing. Think of the times you most remember, and weddings, birthdays and holidays will likely be well represented.

Paula’s family creates gingerbread houses, and each year they pull up pictures from all the previous 15 years before beginning this year’s house.

Think of school traditions such as concerts, sporting events, musicals, plays, prom, and graduation. All of these traditions create memories, many which we carry with us throughout our lives. We both have memories from elementary school concerts. It was such fun to go back to school at night. We were all dressed up and loved seeing all the families and our teachers in the gym. It was special and magical.

Another example is in our family Christmas ornaments. We both get ornaments for our children each year. We try to choose something that represents their interests or special events that year. It is a fun way to save memories and fun to open up the ornaments each year and remember the times and places that inspired them.

Traditions offer us a chance to pause and reflect on life, and to recognize what is important.

We don’t always take time to slow down and reflect on our lives. Celebrations and traditions often help us to do that. For example, when you attend a wedding, you likely reflect back on your own wedding. Or when you put up the Christmas tree and see all the family ornaments and remember the stories behind the events through the years or the places you traveled. It will remind you of what is important.

Events like these offer us a moment to slow down, relax, and think.

In school, yearbooks often serve as a reflection tool, as do end of year celebrations or class parties. Those things allow you to look back on the year and remember the things that happened.

Graduations mark an end of one chapter and the beginning another. The speakers’ messages can usually relate to any transition and remind us of the things that matter in our lives. Though the speaker may be talking to the graduates, others also have a chance to pause and reflect.

Traditions can be reconsidered.

Some people balk at traditions or find them old and stuffy. Sometimes traditions seem forced on you and you no longer want to uphold them. You are allowed to rethink traditions. Some need to be adapted, some may need to be dropped completely, and others are worth keeping.

Michele’s family had a apricot Jello salad that had been included in the holiday meals for many years. After several years of dumping the Jello down the drain after no one ate it, she realized that it was time to reconsider. The apricot Jello era ended, though other items on the menu such as turkey and dressing stayed.

In Paula’s family, they can no longer use the baptismal dress. It has become too worn and threadbare. Now they need to rethink the tradition. After years of celebrating Christmas with her cousins, now that they all have their own families, they plan summer get togethers at a park instead. The tradition of getting together is still there, but it has changed.

We’ve both kept the tradition of giving Christmas gifts, but rather than many little gifts, we got growing up, we now give their children a family experience or trip.

Some traditions deserve to be eliminated. One example is hazing. Hazing used to be tolerated and accepted. Today, hazing is a tradition that is no longer acceptable. The Northwestern football coach was recently fired for allowing hazing. Similarly, schools with potentially hurtful team or mascot names have changed their name to something related but less offensive.

Sometimes it is time for a tradition to end.

Some traditions deserve to stick around.

We have traditions that serve us well and that we hope to continue. Paula plans to continue the ornaments, hopefully with her grandchildren someday. Michele plans to host her entire extended family for Christmas as long as she is able.

Whether we adapt them, get rid of them, or keep them, traditions serve a purpose.

According to Nicola Watts,

“In our fast paced and ever-changing lives and a world that appears to be in constant turmoil, traditions are more important than ever before. They offer constancy, stability, familiarity and a semblance of order and predictability to our existence. They comfort us, give us a sense of belonging, and make us feel safe and secure.”

Recap:

Traditions serve many purposes in our lives. They help connect us to other people, help us to remember who we are and where we came from, and help us to pass down and reinforce values. Traditions are fun and create time and space for togetherness and building memories.

Quote:

Nicola Watts

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Are You Successful? Ep. 42

December 13, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Are You Successful? S. 3 E. 42

Listen to this episode to learn seven insightful ways to measure success in your work and home life. You might be more successful than you think!

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you consider yourself to be successful? Are you a successful teacher? Have you been successful as a friend or family member? In your work life, you likely have experienced teacher evaluation systems that determine success by someone’s definition. You may also feel measured by someone else’s metrics for success in your home life. Today we are discussing 7 different and insightful measures of success, applicable in your work and home life, that can help you gauge your level of success. There are no rubrics or tests here!

In this episode:

These notes are abbreviated. As always, for the full show with all of our stories and examples, listen to the recording.

Introduction:

Success….that’s a loaded word.

When we initially think of success, we think of someone else’s judgements placed upon us. You may have been taught, whether it was explicitly stated or not, that success was something that others recognized in you, not something you saw in yourself. There always seems to be some metric for success that someone else holds in order to measure our success.

To some extent that will always be true. For example, you can’t get a degree because you think you learned enough. You successfully earn the degree because you met or surpassed someone else’s pre-set criteria. However, there are other ways to measure a successful life that are more internal. You can look at your life, through your criteria, and your own way of determining what matters and what aligns with your values.

Do you consider yourself a successful teacher? A successful friend or spouse?

There are many different teacher evaluation systems and districts use many tools to evaluate teachers. The media and the public also have opinions about what it means to be a successful teacher. Everyone has been to school, and as a result, everyone has an opinion of what good teaching looks like. That same attitude applies to parenting, how to be a good spouse, or how to be a good friend. But do YOU think you are a successful teacher and person? How do you measure that?

We know that many assessments don’t get at all the things that make a teacher successful in the classroom or a person successful in life. Some things are more easily measured than others. We can look at your students’ scores on standardized tests easily. It is much more difficult to assess whether you are kind and build an atmosphere of mutual respect in your classroom and your home. Both are important.

Today we will be talking about 7 different aspects that can help you determine if you are successful at work and at home. These are important things you are probably doing all the time, and doing well, but you don’t take time to stop and assess yourself for success in these areas.

As Henry David Thoreau once said, “Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it.”

7 Ways to Know if You Are Successful

1. A successful person builds connections with those around them.

The teachers we remember most fondly are the ones that knew us well. The great aunts we loved the most were those that listened to us and invited us into their circle of warmth. We felt respected and we knew that that teacher and great aunt cared about us. People will work hard for you, and with you, if they know you care. Good teachers know a lot about the students they teach. They know a lot about their colleagues. They listen and talk to them.

Successful teachers know about their students’ lives inside and outside of school. They understand their learning strengths and challenges.

The same is true in other parts of your life. Successful friends know when their friends need them. The connections are strong and they show up in times of need.

Do you have connections with your students, family, coworkers and friends? If so, you are successful.

2. A successful person can be flexible in different environments.

Notice that we did not say, A successful person can be comfortable in different environments. We said, “flexible.” You don’t have to be comfortable going into every situation to be successful. You do however, need to be flexible and adapt to your surroundings.

For example, you wouldn’t teach the same way to a rowdy kindergarten class that you would to quiet one. Nor would you serve the same food and beverage to a group of teens at your house that you would to your refined book club. You adapt and are flexible in different environments. That is a hallmark of success!

Good teachers know how to choose different strategies for different purposes. They have a toolkit of techniques to help them work effectively. Every class is different and good teachers know how and when to adapt as they teach.

At home you also likely have to think on your feet. Your plans may not align with those of your family and friends, causing flexibility to be a necessity.

Are you flexible with your students, family, coworkers and friends? If so, you are successful.

3. A successful person has high standards.

We have talked about the importance of setting high standards for yourself and others in previous podcast episodes. If you don’t set high standards, there is nothing to reach for. No one wants a life of mediocrity. We come alive when we set and meet our goals. Of course, you don’t want to set those standards so high that no one can reach them, leading to disappointment.

The best teachers hold high standards for student behavior and for student learning. They are clear about their expectations and hold students accountable. Good teachers know that they have to teach and model so that students know both what is expected of them and how to do what they need to do to meet those expectations. They don’t just have high standards, they support students in their personal growth and achievement to reach them.

Holding high standards for students is tricky, it is easy for students to feel like you are overly tough, or that you are picking on them or you are too demanding. You can temper that by explaining WHY you ask and expect for them to do things in a certain way.

At home, you likely have standards for cleanliness, communication at the dinner table or other standards that you have ingrained into your home or friends group. For example, maybe you listen and agree to not speak over each other, even if it is an unspoken rule. Explaining why you have these standards is important at home too.

Do you set high standards for yourself and others? If so, you are successful.

4. A successful person is proactive.

Life is no fun when you are always reacting to what gets handed your way. When you are constantly feeling like you are drowned by the sprinkler system of life, it’s time to get proactive and figure out where the fire is and stop it at the source before the sprinkler system goes off again.

Good teachers are proactive in lesson planning and in communication. Successful teachers keep parents informed about what is happening in the classroom. They make contact with parents and establish a relationship before there is a problem. When there is a problem, they keep parents in the loop and work with them to find solutions.

At home, you are likely proactive in more ways than you realize. You probably stop problems many times each day, before they even have a chance to become a problem. Of course there will always be unexpected life turns, and we will have to pivot, but being proactive prevents many of the negative turns before they happen.

For example, taking time for meal planning, list making, and using a daily calendar are ways to prevent prevent future problems. Those tools keep your from forgetting things so that they get done when they need to be done.

Are you proactive rather than reactive as much as you can be? If so, you are successful.

5. A successful person supports those around them.

Being supportive means that you do your part and encourage others as they do theirs. You are helpful when you can help someone. You follow through on tasks. If you do what you say you are going to do, you will earn the trust of the people you interact with and love daily. They know they can count on you.

You come to meetings prepared. You encourage your colleague who is feeling down. You remind your students that you are there to support them. You take care of duties and turn in your attendance, grades and other requirements on time. Being valued as a colleague and supportive teacher is a sign of success.

At home, you encourage your family members. People come to you because they value your advice and know you will come through for them.

Do you support the people around you? If so, you are successful.

5. A successful person knows when to ask for help.

Rather than being a sign of weakness, asking for help is a sign that you are responsible enough to know that you don’t know everything and that you are willing to learn. No one has ever completely mastered everything.

In school, asking for help shows a growth mindset, and life-long learning is a trait that successful teachers share. When you display this growth mindset, you are modeling for your students what you hope to see in them.

This also means not being afraid to ask students for help with something. You are admitting that you don’t know everything.

At home, it can be difficult to ask for help if you are the caretaker. However, odds are good that there is someone in your friend or family circle who would be glad to help you with anything you ask. You just have to ask. If not, look into your community resources, they may have the knowledge or supports you need.

We are here to tell you that if your child is over the age of about six and you are making their bed and putting away their clothes in the drawers and packing their lunches, you are allowed to ask them to help!

Do you support the people around you? If so, you are successful.

6. A successful person is involved in some type of community.

What communities do you belong to? Your school committee? A neighborhood committee? A friend group that has been together so long you are like family? A book club? A church group? When you are part of a community, you benefit from all that the community has to offer. How do you know you are a successful member of a community? You show up at events. You volunteer for committees. People know and greet you by name.

At school, good teachers are invested in their school and the greater communities where they are housed. They get to know the community around the school by patronizing local shops and restaurants.

For example, a teacher we worked with did not live in the town where he taught. He made an effort to service his car at a shop near the school. “They fund my paycheck,” he said, “why would I not want to support them?” People notice when you are committed to your school and the community.

At home, you have a core group or two where you can say you are a part of something bigger than just yourself. This doesn’t have to be a formal community, it could the Tuesday morning yoga crew who all show up to the same class each week and they support each other.

Do you belong to at least one community? If so, you are successful.

What would you add to our list? What makes you feel success at work and at home? As always, we would love to hear your ideas.

Quote:

If we haven’t sold you on the importance of recognizing your own success yet, we end with the powerful words of Abe Lincoln,

“Always bear in mind that your own resolution to success is more important than any other one thing.”

Abraham Lincoln

Recap:

Success is not always measured using rubrics or evaluations. Nor is it always measured by others. You can determine your own level of success in these important areas that matter more than what you can do on an assessment- building connections, being flexible, having high standards, being proactive, supporting those around you, asking questions and becoming engaged in your communities. You are probably more successful than you think you are!

Related Episodes/Blog Posts:

Inspired Together Teachers podcast episode 15 Raise Your Standards

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Create an Empowering Environment with Playlists E. 41

December 6, 2023 by Inspired Together Teachers Leave a Comment

Create an Empowering Environment with Playlists S. 3 Ep. 41

Listen to this episode to learn how you can use the power of music playlists to change your environment to create the mood you want to establish in your home or school life.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Do you create music playlists? You can use music playlists to find inspiration, to create calm and relaxing spaces, or to create more energy. Today we’re talking about empowering ways to use playlists in your life.

In this episode:

Do you create music playlists?

What’s great about playlists is that you can create them for any reason.

If you are like us, you have probably created a few playlists. Michele has a work-out playlist with high energy music for Zumba. She also listens to a playlist called French Baking Music, which is calming but not dull. A lot of coffee shop playlists are like that also. Soft jazz playlists and different kinds of Christmas playlists such as traditional Christmas or instrumental Christmas music are great during the holidays. Paula’s family even has a playlist for when they are on their boat!

Last week, in episode 40, we talked about creating positive environments, and the idea that you can control more parts of your environment than you probably think you can. Playlists are another great way that you can control your environment both at home and at school.

How conferences use music to control the environment:

We attend and present at a lot of conferences, and we’ve noticed that conferences often have playlists. Conferences use music to energize the audience or to help them connect to a particular message or theme of the conference.

For example, conferences use playlists as an empowerment muse, reminding you of your strengths, power, and potential. It’s a way to make the audience enjoy themselves and feel good and it works. At in-person events, people dance, sing along, and feel connected. Music is a shared joy and passion. We may not know the people sitting near us, but we can all sing along with Alicia Keys as she belts out “this girl is on fire…”.

When we attended a week long conference with trainer Brendon Burchard, you couldn’t help but notice his music. It is probably the first time we realized the power of music to control an environment. Before he appeared on stage a few upbeat songs played and then when Macklemore’s song Can’t Hold Us blasted through the event center Brendon came out jumping to the music while the crowd was singing and jumping along. The energy was electric.

The Massachusetts Conference for Women gave us another example of how to use music playlists effectively. This was a virtual conference where they were very effective at using a playlist to fill the void between speakers. When you attend conferences in a virtual platform, the default mode is to turn off attendee’s cameras so the focus is on the presenter. You never know who is in the room with you.

Without the small talk that is present in a live event, attendees feel alone and isolated and the silence feels awkward. Listening to a carefully curated musical selection before each different speaker can inspire the audience and set the tone before the speaker begins.

The Massachusetts Conference for Women’s playlist included songs like:
Kings and Queens by Ava Max
Let’s Get Loud-Jennifer Lopez
Halo- Beyonce
Rise Up- Andra Day
A Beautiful Noise- Alicia Keys and Brandi Carlisle

The music was a shared moment that made it easy and fun for attendees to interact with each other. When they changed the screen so that the audience could see the other attendees, you could see people singing along and dancing to the music. There were lots of lively comments in the chat as people commented about the music. The conference organizers figured out how to use effectively use music to connect people. The women attending felt collectively inspired and empowered by the playlist of music written and sung by strong females, as noted by the many positive comments in the chat.

Brene Brown on the power of shared moments of connection:

Author Brene Brown shares an even deeper reason for these kinds of common bonding moments. In her book Braving the Wilderness, Brown says that we are all looking for moments of joy and connection so that we can bear witness to the human connection. “It’s like lightening in a bottle,” she says, “We have to catch enough glimpses of people connecting to one another and having fun together that we believe it’s true and possible for all of us.”

This is why we rally around our school songs, even long after we’re been students. It’s why at a concert, we all sway together, linking arms and singing along with strangers. The power of our collective joy helps us to transcend our divisions. In today’s divisive world, we need those connections now more than ever. Music can be that connector.

Isn’t this what we all want more of? Don’t we all want to feel connected to others?

Using music playlists in your life:

Think about the ways that music inspires and motivates you. We all need a boost from time-to time. We want and need to feel uplifted and music is a great way to change how we are feeling at any given time.

You’ve probably had the experience of using music to change your mood. You come home from work tired and a few songs into your favorite album your mood has improved.

For our live workshops, we have a playlist of music we play before the workshop begins as well as at breaks. It fills awkward silences and sets a positive tone. Music also helps if you get nervous when speaking in front of groups, the music takes you out of your head and can build your confidence.

Here are a few songs that inspire and motivate from our playlist:

I Gotta Feeling- The Black Eyed Peas
Defying Gravity- Wicked, Idina Menzel
Some Days You Gotta Dance- The Chicks
Girl on Fire- Alicia Keys
I Won’t Back Down- Tom Petty
A Million Dreams- Pink
I Lived- One Republic
Beautiful Day-U2
Walking on Sunshine- Katrina and the Waves

These songs might be a little all over the place, but that is kind of the point, you get to choose songs that inspire and motivate you.

Another example is from Paula who chooses her Peloton walking music playlist. She wants high energy, fun songs to keep her walking at a good speed.

What about you? Do you ever wish you had more confidence? What would be on your empowering playlist? Why not create it for yourself and then play it as a pick-me-up?

Using music play lists at school:

Many of you probably already use music playlists at school. We know teachers of young children often use playlists for clean-up time, or for transition times. Some teachers use playlists of soft, instrumental music for quiet work time. Teachers might create playlists that connect to their area of content and use them to engage students- think of School House Rock’s grammar songs or history and government songs.

Do you use playlists as students enter the classroom, either to calm them down or pump them up? Some teachers have playlists of music to help students with self-regulation. You could also use playlists to energize a sleepy first hour class as they start their day.

Does your school play music in the lunch room to set a calm tone? It can be a powerful tool to regulate the volume in a crowded space. One school plays music, and continues to play music as long as the student voices aren’t louder than the music. It works well to keep the noise down, because the students like the music.

Think about ways you could use music at your school and in your classroom to create the environment you wish to have. Or create different playlists for different environments that you want to create throughout the day.

Here’s a fun idea, find your “Walk-On Song”:

An extension to the idea of using a playlist is to choose a song as your personal theme song or walk on song. A walk on song is the song that they play when you are presenting at a conference after they introduce you and while you are walking on stage. It helps you to create the tone you want to set.

We were introduced to this concept at a conference where the keynote speaker shared that she loved the idea of having a walk on-song. Hers was Dolly Parton’s Nine to Five which she said she loved because it was upbeat and made her happy. When she came out dancing, everyone was interested and engaged with her before she even began talking.

This of course led all of us to think about our walk on song. It is important to note here that you don’t have to be speaking on a stage to have a walk on song. Consider it your personal theme song, a song that reminds you who you are and who you want to be. It is a fun activity to think about and decide!

In case you are wondering, Paula’s walk on song is Happy by Pharrell Williams and Michele’s walk on song is Sia’s Unstoppable.

This idea also works for a classroom. Think about a theme song that you and your class would like to have and to use to remind everyone of their potential and possibility. You might even ask the students for suggestions, and then listen to the songs and vote.

We’re sure you can find many times to play your class theme song throughout the year. Just as with sports teams or other groups, it is a bonding experience and something students will likely remember fondly for many years.

Have fun with this! It’s fun to think about and fun to create your playlists.

We’ll leave you today with the words of Plato, “Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything.”

Recap:

We say it often- you are more powerful than you think. Rather than accept the energy in any given space, you have the power to alter it. Using music playlists or a special theme song is a way to change the mood, and the energy of a room as well as remind students of their power and potential.

Quote:

“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything.”

Plato

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Braving the Wilderness: The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone by Brene Brown.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Facebook Teacher Warriors Group: Teacher Warriors Facebook Group

Linked In: Inspired Together Teachers

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to lived inspired lives.

Conquering Criticism S. 3 Ep. 45

Listen to this episode to stop fearing your critics and conquer criticism!

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

Fear of criticism keeps you from sharing your ideas.

You worry about what people think.

Sometimes you are your own worse critic.

Reframe criticism as feedback.

Don’t take everything so personally.

Discern if the criticism is worth your time and energy.

Conclusion

Recap:

Quote:

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Finding Optimism in Silver Linings S.3. Ep 44

Listen to this episode to discover ways to find optimism in difficult circumstances.

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Recap:

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The Power of Traditions S. 3 E. 43

Listen to this episode to explore the ways in which traditions shape our lives.

Show notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Why do we have and need traditions?

Recap:

Quote:

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Are You Successful? S. 3 E. 42

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

In this episode:

Introduction:

Do you consider yourself a successful teacher? A successful friend or spouse?

7 Ways to Know if You Are Successful

Quote:

Recap:

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Create an Empowering Environment with Playlists S. 3 Ep. 41

Listen to this episode to learn how you can use the power of music playlists to change your environment to create the mood you want to establish in your home or school life.

Show notes:

In this episode:

How conferences use music to control the environment:

Using music playlists in your life:

Using music play lists at school:

Recap:

Quote:

“Music gives a soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and life to everything.”

Plato

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Share this:

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