We recently asked teachers in our Teacher Warriors Facebook group to give us their best advice about teaching. In one way or another, almost every teacher talked about the importance of building relationships with students.
We were not surprised. Building relationships with students is the key to building a successful environment for learning.
Many teachers and students have either recently returned to their physical classrooms, have returned to a full classroom instead of a hybrid model, or will soon be returning to a physical classroom. Although teachers have been teaching virtually or with a limited number of students in the classroom, the classroom dynamic is about to change. In many ways, it is like starting the school year over again.
Since our classrooms are changing yet again, we thought it was a good time to talk about building relationships. In order to build relationships, it is helpful to know students well. You will not know everything about every student, but understanding some of the different facets of student’s lives and personalities will go along way towards building good relationships with them.
How can you get to know students well? Here are some ideas:
Ask Students about their interests.
What does a student like to do? What are their hobbies? Given free reign, how would they choose to spend their time? Knowing a student’s interests helps us to connect to them.
Look for students’ skills and talents.
We all have skills and talents. Perhaps a student is good at drawing or soccer. Perhaps they are especially empathetic, kind or thoughtful. Maybe they express themselves well or show leadership. Understanding a student’s skills and talents means we can offer opportunities to build on those skills and help develop them. Helping a student to uncover and grow their innate talents is one of the most powerful things a teacher can do.
Observe students for signs of introversion or extroversion.
Does the student gain energy from being in a group or seem to need to spend quiet time alone? Do they make quick and decisive decisions or prefer time to think and process? Are they easily bored and restless or able to entertain themselves for hours? Once you understand a students natural preferences, it is easier to help the student find the situations that give him or her the time and space they need to function well.
Ask for and watch for learning preferences.
How does the student learn best? We all have different combinations of learning preferences, but often, particular preferences rise to the top. Does the student prefer to learn by touching and doing things? Are they particularly engaged when watching something or reading? Are they acute listeners, learning through songs or discussions? Do they learn best alone or in a group? Knowing how a student learns helps us to put learning in a context that is most helpful.
Help students to grow in emotional intelligence.
Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to understand and control their own emotions. More than intellect or academic training, emotional intelligence has been connected to career and life success. How does the student control frustration, anxiety or anger? Does the student show self-confidence, adaptability or innovation? Are they generally optimistic? Do they feel empathy and have appropriate communication skills? These are all skills that can be taught, and doing so often improves personal success, both in the classroom and in life.
Understand how a student is motivated.
Motivation is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Some people are motivated by others. Some people are motivated by following rules and procedures. Competition is motivating to some, while others dislike competition. Some people are motivated by prizes or rewards, others are motivated by autonomy, creating and following their personal rules. Some people are motivated by authority, others rebel and become less motivated. Understanding how a child is motivated helps us to understand how to best work with a child.
It pays to look at our students through various lenses, to understand who they really are, and to use that insight to forge successful relationships. Our best chance at helping our students to learn starts with building positive relationships with them.
How do you go about understanding a knowing a child well? We would love to hear your insight.
Our best,
Today we are sharing a guest post written by Carolyn Wiezorek. Carolyn left a position she loved as a university professor with a passion for teaching and a calling to change the system of education. Her first stop took her back to teaching a 4th grade classroom in a Title 1 school. While she only stayed one year, she learned valuable lesson that will contribute to her efforts in making school better for all. We think she has great insight into what teaching looks like and how to do it well.
Carolyn Wiezorek is a former classroom teacher, education professor and coach. She is currently principal of a private school in Dubuque, Iowa.
