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Living With, Working With, and Loving Enneagram Type 9 Ep. 114

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Season 7 Epsiode 114the word peace written in the same, Enneagram Type 9

Listen to this episode to learn more about the relaxed, peace loving Enneagram Type 9. Couldn’t we all use a little less conflict and more peace in our lives?  

Show Notes: 

Episode Summary:

Here’s a hint for today’s episode…the person  who is easy-going, nice, and that doesn’t cause you any trouble, is easy to take for granted. If you do so however, you may miss out on the gifts they bring and the opportunity to help them to grow into the best version of themselves.

Today we’re talking about Enneagram Type 9. Stay tuned to find out more about the peaceful and adaptable type 9.

In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

We have a lot to talk about today as we share an Enneagram type we know well.

We’ll share up front that we are both married to type nines! We have a lot of experience and understanding with this type and we’re excited to share type nine with you today on our last episode in this Enneagram series.

This episode is the last in our Enneagram series, where we have broken down all the 9 types. If you haven’t yet listened, we recommend listening to our other episodes which can be found on our website at inspiredtogetherteachers or wherever you listen to podcasts.

Before we begin, some general cautions: 

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understand the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns. We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful. We think this is very useful.

Patterns of Enneagram Type 9

Think of the people you know, your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach.

Here are the patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical Enneagram Type 9 patterns:

  • Nines are easygoing, relaxed and non- confrontational.
  • Type Nines will often not express their wants or needs or opinions; they like to go with the flow and do what everyone else wants.
  • Nines are accepting and can easily work with others and get along with others.
  • Nines are adaptable, patient, compassionate, and supportive of others.
  • Nines dislike conflict and will go to great lengths to prevent it.
  • They often make good mediators and will help solve problems to avoid conflicts.
  • Nines will concede to others, and go along with others. When they dismiss their own needs, they may become stubborn or angry.  
  • At their worst, nines can check-out, becoming indecisive, uninvolved, slothful, or undisciplined.

Tips and Strategies for Working Effectively with people who exhibit Enneagram Type 9 patterns:

Let’s give some examples of type nine patterns and how you can best work with them or support them.

Our first example is a school example.

Your teaching partner, we’ll call her Liz, is a type 9. She is an easy person to work with. Everyone in the school gets along well with her. Students like her and she likes them and works well with them. She also gets along with parents.

Liz is sometimes quiet, and she doesn’t often offer her opinion at faculty or team meetings. She will ask what everyone else wants to do and then go along with them. She rarely disagrees or tries to change anything. On the down side, she is very stuck to her routines and can be stubborn about changing something. When others disagree, she will jump in and try to find common ground.

As much as you love working with Liz, sometimes you wish she would offer her ideas or suggestions. Often, she goes along with everyone else, but she is starting to feel resentful and even a bit angry about the decisions that are made.

Here is another example, this time from a personal situation.

Your ten -year -old son, Ben, is an agreeable, chill guy. He is generally happy with whatever you plan and rarely causes any problems. Ever since he was a baby, everyone noticed what an easy child he is.

Ben is very compliant in school and gets good report cards. He has friends and has never gotten in trouble. What’s the problem?

You’ve noticed that Ben doesn’t really challenge himself. He does what is asked, but not more. He also doesn’t assert himself. When asked what he wants to eat for his birthday dinner, he replies with, “ I don’t care, whatever you want.” When he chooses a game to play on family game night and his sister suddenly demands that everyone play a different game, he is quick to let her choose the game.

You want your son to have some agency and eventually create his own life based on his dreams and desires, rather than just go with the flow and fall into whatever is in front of him.

Let’s look at a couple of examples to best work with Enneagram Type 9s.

  • Take time to ask their opinion and listen to their response. Let them know that you really do what their opinion.
  • Find out what their needs, desires, and dreams are and ask them how you can support them in accomplishing those things.
  • Nines are body types, which means they lead with the gut. They can benefit from physical activity such as working out or spending time doing something active.
  • Nines may need help setting boundaries for themselves so they don’t allow others to always makes their decisions, lead them, or set their priorities.
  • Encourage them to talk about their anger so they don’t blow up or melt-down.
  • Nines fear loss or separation from others, help them to understand that you accept them, that they matter to you.

Strengths and Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:
  • Easy going
  • Stable
  • Accepting and adaptable
  • Good mediator
  • Peaceful
Challenges:
  • Indecisive
  • Unassertive
  • Numbed-out
  • Stubborn
  • Passive- aggressive
 Opportunities for growth:
  • Ask yourself what you want and need.
  • Take intentional, focused action on your priorities.
  • Learn to set boundaries for yourself.
  • Let your ideas and opinions be known.
  • Learn to live with conflict.
  • Understand that you can be loved even if you disagree with someone or something.

 Conclusion:

Like all types, Nines have many strengths and challenges. Understanding their patterns and motivations can help you to better work with, live with, love and teach those with Enneagram Type 9 patterns.

Recap:

We need Enneagram Type 9’s in our lives. They remind us to slow down, to relax, and to let go of conflicts. They bring peace and acceptance to a world that desperately needs those gifts.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

 

Living With, Working With and Loving Enneagram Type 8 Ep.113

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Season 7 Episode 113

Yes I can written on a table, Enneagram Type 8

Check out this episode to understand the patterns of the strong-willed, forward moving Enneagram Type 8! 

Show Notes: 

Episode Summary:

Are you an independent, strong person who is comfortable taking the lead? If not, are you in awe of people in your life who do but you also can’t fully understand them and what motivates them?

When we say words like “direct” “courageous” and “confrontational” who do you think of? That person who just came to mind is likely an Enneagram Type Eight. In our lives, people who fit the characteristics of an Enneagram Type Eight are some of the most powerful, and they can also be viewed as some of the most controlling family members, friends and students.

This episode is one in our series individually exploring each of the 9 types of people identified using the Enneagram. Enneagram is a tool for understanding patterns of behavior in ourselves and others.

Today, as certified Enneagram trainers, we are sharing ways we have learned that can help us all best love, live with, work with and teach others who are Enneagram Type 8s.

As an Enneagram Type Eight would likely say, “Enough talking. Let’s get to the episode!”

In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Before we jump into discussing the Enneagram type 8s in our lives, the “Leaders” or “Bosses” in our lives, let’s quickly review what the Enneagram is, why it matters, and what we caution before we dive into the behaviors, patterns, and motivations of the Type 8s.

We have recorded and shared several different episodes on the Enneagram that give you a more wholistic view, but in short, the Enneagram as a free and insightful tool provides us with a lens that helps us to understand the patterns of behaviors in ourselves and others.

The framework of the Enneagram helps us to see what motivates us and we can also learn ways to best work with and live with the people in our lives who are not the same Enneagram type that we are. Using the Enneagram, people are categorized into 1 of 9 types based on their motivations and behaviors. Today we are specifically talking about Enneagram Type 8,  how to live with them, love them, teach them, and best interact with them at home and at school.

A few words of caution before we dig into learning about Enneagram Type 8:

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understanding the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns. We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

Patterns of Enneagram Type 8

Of all of the Enneagram types, it can be fairly easy to identify the patterns of an Enneagram Type 8 because their behaviors tend to be a bit more “in your face” than the behavior patterns of more passive numbers. As we discuss the types of behavior patterns that you would find in an Enneagram Type Eight, think of the people you know- your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach who match these patterns.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of Enneagram Type 8 patterns:

  • They are strong and powerful.
  • In a room, they are often the leader or are quick to lead the group once a decision is made.
  • They are “large and in charge.”
  • Type 8’s are independent and self-sufficient.
  • Their behaviors are, or can be perceived to be, intimidating or aggressive.
  • They speak the truth as they see it and can be viewed as challenging.
  • They are strong advocates for fighting injustices in the world. A type 8 has no problem defending the oppressed and seeking justice for others.
  • They are forceful, assertive, and are not quick to back down.

Let’s talk about what an Enneagram Type 8 might look like in a school setting:

  • Because Type 8s are strong, passionate, protective, and self-confident, they are often drawn to leadership roles in a school. Think of the people in leadership positions in your school or district. Who among that group has an air of importance and is decisive, but can sometimes be thought of as domineering? Odds are good that they are a Type 8.
  • As coworkers, Type 8s are excellent partners because they will not be needy, dependent, or helpless. In fact, they are likely the people in the teaching team or on the committee who use their assertiveness to control the direction of the meeting, sometimes not giving others much of a chance to voice their opinions. They are likely passionate advocates for the students who they feel are being oppressed, even if it means calling out another colleague for not serving them as well as they should.
  • When we talk about 8s as students, they are likely the students that others call “bossy” or who run the playground games with the “my way or the highway” mentality. They are wonderful to have in class because they are resourceful, independent and industrious. However, they can rub their peers the wrong way when they are too aggressive, domineering, intimidating or insensitive. Teachers can view them as challenging because they will not bend easily to the teacher’s will without what they determine to be good justification.

Tips and strategies for working effectively with Enneagram Type 8 patterns:

  • First, and foremost remember that they, as Eights, are likely not driven by the same things you are. What motivates you, does not likely motivate them. Take time to slow down, before responding to them, to consider what is motivating them and driving their behaviors. This will help you to better understand their actions. Here are the typical motivators of a Type Eight:
    • Their main fear is being out of control.
    • They want to be in control and have power.
    • They are driven by wanting to feel strong, to be important, to resist weakness and to use their strength to seek justice for themselves and others.
  • Determine their strengths. If you can tap into the leadership strengths of a Type 8, both you and that person who is an 8 will benefit. However, trying dampen or squash the strengths of a Type 8 will lead you both down the path of a power struggle. An 8 will not give you power because you want it. They likely want it, and need it, more.
  • Discover their hidden potential. Find ways to incorporate these more in your relationship. For example, Type 8s have a hidden potential to right the wrongs in ways that the rest of us may not consider. They will not worry what others think of them, they will tap into their well of strength and can lead a movement that can, if given the opportunity, help those who are unable to speak up for themselves.
  • Consider how you can address potentially negative patterns in a positive way. For example, if a Type 8 in your classroom is always taking control of things they should not be taking control of, tell them that you appreciate their leadership but they need to pick 3 things in the classroom to be in charge of. They will still seek power but can that need for power met in a way that you have both agreed upon.
  • Do not take the words and actions of a Type 8 personally. Because they value being direct, they think they are doing the right thing by saying things how they see them, without sugar-coating or talking around the subject. Their direct words may feel harsh and insensitive, leaving non-8s in the room to feel like the air was sucked out of the room after the Type 8 talked. Remember that Type 8s are not trying to hurt you. In fact, they feel they can be their natural self with you when they tell you exactly how they see things.

Strengths, Challenges and Opportunities for Growth

Strengths:

  • When you need a powerful advocate, they are your best bet.
  • They are passionate and unwavering in fighting for justice.
  • They have leadership bandwidth that is unending. Give them a task, they will take control and will develop a plan for achieving the goal.
  • You don’t have to direct a Type 8 on what to do. They are independent, self-sufficient achievers who do not need to be managed.
  • Want to start a revolution? Find a Type 8 the are ready and waiting for the challenge.

Challenges:

  • They can be domineering.
  • They may be insensitive to the feelings of others.
  • Working or living with them can feel threatening or overwhelming and can leave others to feel like they have been “run over” by the Type 8.
  • Because they are so independent and strong, they can be (or can be perceived to be) self-righteous, self-centered, or bossy.

Opportunities for growth for 8s:

  • Remind them to remain sensitive to the needs of others. Encourage them to make sure they are listening to others (not just waiting for them to get done speaking so that the 8 can talk). Make sure they are asking questions and not just talking. If the 8 is a student in your classroom, teach them to self-monitor these behaviors, possibly giving them a way to tally or self-check how they are doing being more aware of others.
  • Give them roles where their strengths can be appreciated and their challenges reduced. For example, give them opportunities for power while making sure it is being kept in check.
  • Remind them that part of their drive for justice can be achieved by making sure that everyone in the room feels safe and welcomed.
  • Teaching about and giving opportunities for practicing empathy can be wonderful for Type 8s.
  • Kindly and directly let Type 8s know how their words and actions are impacting others- in positive situations and in negative instances as well. If you don’t tell them, for example, that they are making others feel intimidated, they likely will not know.
  • Consider what you have learned about Type Eights and capitalize on the strengths of the Eights in their work and life. Help them to recognize their own strengths and limitations so they can set themselves up for success.

Conclusion:

People who are Enneagram Type Eights are wonderful assets to our lives. They are our passionate, strong leaders and our advocates for justice. They are powerful, make a difference in the world, and do not back down when presented with a challenge. By recognizing their strengths and challenges and understanding strategies to best live with, love, work with, and teach them, you can avoid power struggles with them and bask in all the great things they can and will accomplish.

Recap:

Today we explored how to best understand and communicate with Type Eights in your home, your friend group, your school and your classroom. Having this understanding will make interactions with Eights in your life easier and can help to improve their lives and your own.

 Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

Living With, Working With, and Loving Enneagram Type 7 Ep. 112

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Season 7 Epsiode 112Enneagram Type 7, woman riding in a wheelbarrow

Check out this episode to learn all about the fun loving, playful Enneagram Type 7.

Show Notes:

Episode Summary:

Who do you know that routinely brings the joy into any situation? Who are your spontaneous, live in the moment friends? Who do you know that is always up for adventure and hates missing out on things?

The person you are thinking of, whether it is yourself or someone else, has the patterns of an Enneagram type 7.

Stay tuned to day to learn about the gifts and challenges of the Type 7 and get tips for how to best live with, work with, love or teach someone with Enneagram Type 7 patterns.

In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Today we’re talking about the Enneagram Type 7.  We all want and need joy and optimism in our lives and these are the ones who can bring it. We love and need the type 7s in our lives, even when they frustrate us by checking out- sometimes even when we most need them to show up.

General Cautions: 

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understand the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns. We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful. We think this is useful.

Enneagram patterns of Type 7 “The Joyful Person”  or “ The Entertainer”

As you listen to the following traits and characteristics, think of the people you know, your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of type 7 patterns:
  • Type 7s are usually happy and outgoing and full of joy and laughter.
  • These are often multitalented people. Because they have a zest for life, they are often interested in, knowledgeable about, and good at many different things.
  • Type 7s tend to be optimistic and enthusiastic. They’ll say things like, “ Where’s the party? Let’s go!”
  • 7s are driven to maintain freedom and happiness, and as a result, might ignore or discount anything involving pain or worry.
  • Of all of the types, 7s have the biggest FOMO, they never want to miss out on any worthwhile experience.
  • In their quest to experience all life has to offer, they may struggle with completing things and long term- commitments. They might be affected by shiny object syndrome or impulsiveness.

Tips and strategies for working effectively with people who exhibit Enneagram Type 7 patterns:

Patterns you may see in a student:

Think of the student who is very popular, one that most people like. He or she may be the class clown, or at least quick with funny retorts.

This is potentially a very good student, who will often jump quickly into projects or activities. They can be high achievers and great leaders when they focus and follow through with things. The down side might be that they are also quick to start something, then get distracted by something else and then declare the project “boring.”

As a teacher you see their many talents, but become frustrated when they don’t complete work. You might also notice that when something becomes very difficult for them or it isn’t going well, they may withdraw.

Example of an adult Enneagram Type 7

Your brother is smart, fun, and the life of the party. He has great ideas and is kind and generous.

Your parents have a big anniversary coming up and your brother has a great idea that all the siblings should have a party to celebrate them. The rest of the siblings agree it is a great idea.

You divide the tasks up between the siblings. Your brother volunteers to set up the tent and tables and chairs for the guests. The night before, he goes to a party with friends and doesn’t pick up the tables and chairs. Now it is the morning of the party and there is no tent and no seating. You are angry and frustrated that once again, your brother has not followed through and is so self-centered that he left you and the rest of the family hanging.

Here are some ideas for ways to engage with people who show Enneagram Type 7 patterns.

Enjoy their fun and enthusiasm. See it for the gift that it is.

Type 7s might need new ways to schedule. They need to keep track of commitments. They may need extra time or a buffer before a due date. Tools like a planner or a smart watch can be good for 7s because it can remind them of events. In the case of the brother above, his watch could remind him a day before and a few hours before the time he needed to pick up the party supplies.

Help 7s to understand the strengths and power that they have if they stay committed and engaged. Help them to reap the rewards of a job well done or a commitment kept.

7s want to feel satisfied and fulfilled. Help them see that keeping their commitment s is a way to achieve the feelings that they want to have.

7s usually won’t mean to hurt others with their actions, but when they become scattered or impulsive, others will feel hurt. Share your feelings with them. Let them know how they have caused hurt, while also letting them know that you know they didn’t mean to and that you know they will do better next time.

7s are “ head types”, which mean that they lead with their thoughts. Sevens don’t want to think about or connect with any thoughts that might be painful. When something is potentially painful, they might disconnect. They may need encouragement to know that they can live with uncomfortable or sad things.  You can offer to sit with them, or ask them about something potential negative or show them that they can experience negative emotions and be fine.

Strengths and Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:
  • Brings us joy
  • Optimistic
  • Enthusiastic
  • Spontaneous
  • Idealistic
  • Multitalented
Challenges:
  • Can be self-centered
  • Possibly self-indulgent
  • Narcissistic
  • Hyperactive or undisciplined
  • Struggles with commitment or completion
Opportunities for growth:
  • Learn to be at peace with pain or uncomfortable feelings.
  • Experience and appreciate silence and solitude.
  • Learn to take strategic action to complete tasks.
  • Learn to become more aware of others and their feelings.

Conclusion:

Enneagram Type 7s bring strengths, challenges and opportunities for growth, just as all the types do. When you learn to recognize and understand the patterns of a type 7, you will better be able to live with, work with, love and teach them.

Recap:

We all need type 7s in our lives. They bring us fun, adventure and enthusiasm. They can light up a room and their humor can lighten the rest of us. They bring energy, friendliness, and great ideas to the world.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Download our FREE resource: The Inspired Teachers Guide to Taking Back Your Life.

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

Living with, Working With, and Loving Enneagram Type 6 Ep. 111

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Season 7, Episode 111

paper with words loyal, responsible, trustworthy, Enneagram Type 6

Check out this episode to learn the patterns and behaviors of an Enneagram Type 6.

Show notes: 

Episode Summary:

Do you ever wonder how some people can be so loyal and faithful? Do you value those stable people in your life but also wonder how you can help them to stop fearing the worst case scenarios?

When we say words like “loyal” “devoted” and “dependable” who do you think of? The person, or people, who just came to your mind are likely an Enneagram Type Six.  People who fit the characteristics of an Enneagram Type Six are some of our most tried and true friends and they can also be some of our most worrisome family members, friends and students.

This episode is one in our series individually exploring each of the 9 types of people identified using the Enneagram. Enneagram is a tool for understanding patterns of behavior in ourselves and others.

Today, as certified Enneagram trainers, we are sharing ways we have learned that can help us all best love, live with, work with and teach others who are Enneagram Type 6s. As a result of learning about this Enneagram type you will see improvements in your communications and relationships with the Type 6s in your life.

 In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points.  For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Before we jump into discuss the Enneagram Type 6s in our lives, the “Loyal People” in our lives, let’s quickly review what the Enneagram is, why it matters, and what we caution before we dive into the behaviors, patterns, and motivations of the Type 6s.

We have several different episodes on the Enneagram that give you a more wholistic view, but in short, the Enneagram is a free and insightful tool provides us with a lens that helps us to understand the patterns of behaviors in ourselves and others. The Enneagram helps us to see what motivates ourselves and others and we can also learn ways to best work with and live with the people in our lives who are not the same Enneagram type that we personally are. Using the Enneagram, people are categorized into 1 of 9 types based on their motivations and behaviors.

Today we are specifically talking about Enneagram Type 6, how to live with them, love them, teach them, and best interact with them on a daily basis at home and at school.

A few words of caution before we dig into learning about Enneagram Type 6:

Whether or not you know your type, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. You may recognize yourself, but you will also recognize these patterns in others. The Enneagram is used for personal growth and transformation, but its power also is in the better understanding others.  Understanding the patterns of all of the types opens the door to better relationships and better supporting people who know, love, live with or teach.

We don’t recommend trying to type others, especially children who are still forming their behavior patterns. We can’t always type others, because we don’t always know the motivation behind what they do, and your motivations are key to your Enneagram patterns. What we CAN do is look at behaviors and things they say and those give us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful.

 Patterns of  Enneagram Type 6

Think of the people you know- your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of type 6 patterns:

  • They some of the most loyal and supportive people in your life.
  • They are often called the “Loyalists”.
  • They prioritize helping themselves and those the love to feel safe and secure in the world.
  • They fear insecurity so they plan ways to be prepared and vigilant for impending disasters. Because of this they are sometimes referred to as the “skeptics”.
  • They are risk avoidant.
  • Once you have earned their trust, they will become your allies for life. This is also true of their workplaces. Once they trust the people in their workplace, they are likely to stay. They can even be loyal to a fault sometimes, not abandoning bad workplaces, toxic people or bad ideas.
  • They do not have commitment issues, quite the opposite. Once they commit, they are all in.
  • They long for a sense of secure belonging and are very aware, always on the lookout for security AND for potential threats to their security.
  • They value traditions and doing things the way they have been done in the past.

Let’s consider this example of an Enneagram Type Six you might encounter in a school setting:

Parent volunteers are great and you have the absolute best in your classroom. She has been AMAZING at asking all the right questions and learning everything she needs to know to be the best parent helper that she can be. She is proactive in all of the best ways. In her purse she has everything anyone could ever need- band aids, scissors, any random item you would ever need is in there.

Now, let’s say you are going on a class field trip to a dude ranch (Paula- I actually got to do that field trip and it was my students’ favorite) and she is coming along to help. In the weeks leading up to the field trip she has come to you with concerns about all of the potential issues she can think of- allergies, emergencies, severe weather, students getting kicked by a horse, etc. You have done this trip many times and know it is all going to be okay but despite your reassurances she is anxious and thinks maybe you should cancel.

You probably are already thinking about what a Type Six child looks like in the classroom. These are the kids that are reliable, vigilant and supportive of their peers. They are unwavering and steadfast. They are curious to learn but probably avoid risk because it causes them too much anxiety. They like the school and classroom routines and get thrown off when you switch up the agenda for something completely new and unsure for them. They work to help you keep the classroom a safe space physically and psychologically. If there is a worst case scenario for something you are planning, they have probably already considered it and may have even come to the conclusion that the ending of the project or assignment will be catastrophic. They will be pleasantly surprised when it all works out but will still design worst-case scenarios for upcoming projects. They will not rock the boat, or make a big deal, but in their head they are often  planning for the worst.

Tips and Strategies for Working Effectively with people who exhibit Enneagram Type 6 patterns:

  • First, and foremost remember that they, as Sixes, are likely not driven by the same things you are. What motivates you, may not motivate them. Take time to slow down, before responding to them, to consider what is motivating them and driving their behaviors. This will help you to better understand their actions. Here are the typical motivatoions of an Enneagram Type Six:
    • Their main fear is insecurity. They are motivated to make their lives, and the lives of those they love, more secure.
    • They want safety and stability.
    • Their basic desire is to feel secure and supported.
  • Determine their strengths and hidden potential. Find ways to incorporate these more in your relationship.
  • Consider how you can address potentially negative patterns in a positive way.

Strengths and Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:

  • Great trouble-shooters
  • Hard-working
  • Trustworthy
  • Loyal friends and family members
  • Are stable and provide stability
  • They are “true blue” friends
  • Dependable
  • Devoted

Challenges:

  • They can be very anxious
  • Catastrophic thinking
  • Can become defensive if others don’t following their thinking
  • They run on stress and anxiety, even while complaining about the stress and anxiety causing factors
  • They can respond to their fears by pledging themselves to something or someone that appears to offer stability, even if it is not a good choice and then stick to it and get stuck there.

Opportunities for growth in your relationships with 6s:

  • Help remind them to live in the moment- that worrying about all future bad events or outcomes will not help them in the present. Mindfullness work is good for them.
  • Reassure them and help them to feel supported to relieve some of their anxiety. Model for them that change can be good and uncertainty can be okay sometimes.
  • Work with them on determining when too much loyalty is enough. For example, if the “ship is sinking” help them to see why they are ok to get off and protect themselves.
  • Work with them on ways of reducing anxiety in their lives. Take a yoga class with that Six friend. All the Six student in your class to take a walk in the hallway to ease their anxiety. Teach your Six niece deep breathing techniques.
  • Help them to defend themselves as much as they defend those they love in order to not be taken advantage of.
  • Give them roles where their strengths can be appreciated and their challenges reduced. For example, put them in charge of making sure you don’t forget any of the school classroom traditions or help them to create new classroom traditions that make sure all of the students feel safe and welcomed in your classroom.
  • Consider what you have learned about Type Sixess and capitalize on the strengths of the sixes in their work and life. Help them to recognize their own strengths and limitations so they can set themselves up for success.

Conclusion:

People who are Enneagram Type Sixes are wonderful assets to our lives. They are loyal, trustworthy, compassionate and reliable. They are “true blue” and are there for you when you need them and are looking out for you even when you may not realize it. By recognizing their strengths and challenges and understanding strategies to best live with, love, work with, and teach them, you can make everyone’s lives easier and achieve more together.

Recap:

Today we explored how to best understand and communicate with Type Sixes in your home, with your friends, and with your school and your classroom. Having this understanding will make interactions with Sixes in your life easier and can help to improve their lives and your own.

 Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll give you inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Inspired Together Teachers will give you practical tools to experience more of what matters most in your life.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

Living With, Working With and Loving Enneagram Type 5 Ep. 110

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Season 7 Epsiode 110
person with a white board full of ideas, Enneagram Type 5

Check out this episode to discover the patterns of Enneagram type 5!

Show notes: 

Episode Summary:

Do you ever find yourself all caught up in your head, overthinking, over researching, or over analyzing things?  You just might be an Enneagram head type. We’ve shared the Enneagram types who lead with their heart in previous episodes. Now we are going to dive into the types who lead with thinking.

We’ll start today by exploring the Enneagram type 5. Are you a type 5?  Are you friends with one?  Do you have family members or students who are type 5?  Stay tuned and let’s find out!

 In this episode:

The following notes are not a complete transcript of the episode. On the podcast, we often discuss examples and share stories to illustrate specific points. For the best experience, please listen to the podcast.

Introduction:

Enneagram Type 5, often called “the wise person” or  “The Investigator” or “The Observer,” is analytical, independent, and deeply curious. They thrive on knowledge and seek to understand the world, often withdrawing into their minds to process information. Today we are going to talk about Enneagram type fives and give some ideas of how you can understand and work with your friends, family, colleagues, and students with Enneagram type 5 patterns.

General Cautions

As we have said in all of our Enneagram podcasts, we recommend that you listen to the episodes for each type. This will help you to understand not only yourself better, but other people as well.

We always focus on looking for patterns rather than trying to specifically type someone else. Looking at behaviors and things people say gives us clues as to how to best understand a person and build better relationships with them.

Always remember that we are more than our type. This is just one way of looking at an entire person.

There is a saying that all theories are wrong and yet some are useful.

Patterns of  Enneagram Type Five

Think of the people you know, your friends, family, colleagues, and students you teach. Who is the one who always has a book open, maybe even in bed, under the covers with a flashlight, or under the desk in the classroom?

Chances are, it is an Enneagram type 5.

Here are the types of patterns, behaviors, or phrases you may see that are typical of Enneagram type 5 patterns:

  • Knowledge-Seeking – 5s are always researching, reading, or absorbing new information, sometimes more than they need.
  • Independent – 5’s Prefers to work alone; they value autonomy and not being overly dependent on others.
  • Emotional Detachment – 5’s are often detached from their emotions in the moment but process them later when they are alone.
  • Control their energy-5’s can easily feel drained with too much social interaction.
  • Privacy-Oriented – Prefers a strong sense of personal space and dislikes intrusion into their inner world.
  • Deep Thinker – Enjoys abstract, intellectual, or niche subjects that others may not fully understand.

Tips and Strategies for Working Effectively with People Who Exhibit Enneagram Type 5  Patterns:

Think of the student who is quiet, highly intellectual, and an independent learner. They will thrive academically, but often have struggles with social and emotional relationships with other students.

  • As an educator, you can help fives by offering them stimulating challenges in learning. These are the kids who will read the books you recommend, or gravitate to challenging clubs where they can take a deep dive into problem solving or intellectual pursuits. They can thrive in things like STEM, robotics, academic challenge teams and other educational clubs. They can also excel in music or other subjects where they can research and then get better at something.
  • Type fives don’t need a lot of friends and often are overwhelmed by them. They can benefit from a small group of close friends. Help them to find other students who have deep interests and a love of learning.
  • On the opposite spectrum, fives can also benefit from a highly social friend who accepts them and helps them engage in social opportunities.

You can also enhance your relationship with Enneagram type 5 adults.

You may have a colleague that seems a bit aloof. They may not share thoughts or ideas and they stick to themselves. You wonder if they are antisocial or if they just don’t like you!

  • Respect their need for space and independence. Don’t take their distance personally, Type 5s need time alone to recharge. If they withdraw, it’s not a sign of rejection.
  • Give them time to process things. Fives prefer to think before responding, especially in conversations or decision-making. They want time to prepare.
  • Avoid pressuring them to socialize. Instead, invite them to small, meaningful gatherings rather than large, energy-draining events.
  • Give them opportunities to share their expertise- fives know a lot!
  • Don’t expect them to share their emotions publicly. You can encourage them to share when they are comfortable doing so.
  • Encourage balance between thinking & doing. 5s sometimes research endlessly instead of taking action.

Strengths, Challenges and Opportunities for Growth:

Strengths:

  • Insightful – They can see connections and insights that others miss.
  • Self-Sufficient – 5s don’t need external validation and can work independently.
  • Deep Focus & Expertise –5s like to master things.
  • Objective & Rational – 5s makes decisions based on logic rather than emotions.
  • Great Problem-Solver – They excel at breaking down complex issues and finding innovative solutions.
  • Calm Under Pressure – 5s tends to remain composed even in emotionally charged situations.
  • Visionary- they can see the big picture and see what could be

 Challenges:

  • Social Withdrawal –5s may isolate themselves too much, leading to loneliness.
  • Difficulty Expressing Emotions – 5s can struggle to open up or connect on a deep emotional level.
  • Overanalyzing Everything – 5s can get stuck in analysis paralysis and avoid taking action.
  • Fear of Incompetence – They may hesitant to step into situations where they don’t feel fully knowledgeable.
  • Boundary Issues – 5s can be overly protective of their time and space, making collaboration difficult.

Opportunities for growth:

Fives often need to learn to balance their intellectual learning and private space with social interaction.

Conclusion:

Type fives offer much needed wisdom and insight. They are independent and will contribute when they have time to think and process ideas. They will become valued, even life- long friends if you give them space and don’t drain them with too much interaction or micromanaging.

Recap:

Enneagram type fives are great learners and thinkers. They thrive on knowledge, but can become emotionally and socially overwhelmed. You will work well with type fives when you understand and accept them for who they are.

More About Inspired Together Teachers:

Are you a teacher struggling to balance your best work with your best life?

If you are dedicated and caring but often overwhelmed and exhausted, join us at Inspired Together Teachers. We’ll share inspiration, strategies and tips that help you navigate life’s challenges as a stronger, more confident, and more joy filled person, both in and out of the classroom.

Co-hosts Paula Schmidt and Michele Vosberg are award winning educators with the experience and skills to help teachers thrive in life and work. They’ve taught at all levels, worked with thousands of teachers, and conducted workshops around the world. Like many good teachers, they have struggled to balance it all without becoming overwhelmed and exhausted. They’ve made it their mission to find strategies and tools that help them to stay passionate, and to work with confidence and joy, while bringing their best to their work and life.

They are also the authors of the #1 best-selling book The Inspired Teachers Journal: A Weekly Guide to Becoming Your Best Self.

Paula and Michele would love to have you to join them on their quest to live inspired lives.

Connect with the Inspired Together Teachers Community:

Website: https:www.inspiredtogetherteachers.com

Instagram: Inspired-Together-Teachers

Facebook: Inspired Together Teachers

Inspired Together Teachers Network  Facebook Group

Linked In:  Inspired Together Learning

 

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