Are You Playing Small?  S. 4 E.60

Listen to this episode to hear how you might be playing small and ways you can step into your life in a bigger way. 

Show Notes: 

Episode Summary:

It’s no secret around here that we are on a mission to live an inspired life. We talk a lot about things we can do to improve our lives. Today we’re going to talk about something that might seem unimportant- but it has a big effect on how you feel and how you bring forth your light in the world. It’s hard to live an inspired life if you are hiding your light under a bushel. Let’s talk about ways you might be playing small and how you can step into your life in a bigger way.

In this episode:

This is an outline of the episode, not a word for word transcript. In the podcast we share personal stories and examples that are not written below. For the full experience, please listen to the podcast episode.

Introduction:

Are you playing small?

One of the benefits of being an introvert is that I observe people. While silently watching, I regularly see signs that someone is not stepping into the light to share their inborn talents and gifts. It is disheartening to observe someone’s specialness hidden away, unavailable to bring goodness and maybe a little magic fairy dust to a world that desperately needs more good things in it.

For example, you love drawing and you’re really good at it, but none of your art work is hanging in your home.

Or, you have a great idea for a fun new summer enrichment class, but you don’t mention it because it’s different from what is usually offered and you doubt they would let you do it.

Have you ever been in a room with a group of people and you are discussing how to do a large project and who should do what to complete the project. You might be the most qualified person in the room, but you don’t speak up. Then you spend the rest of the time working on a project watching someone else do the work in a way that is not as good as you would have done it.

Author Elizabeth Gilbert shares the idea that we all have buried treasure within us. When we summon up the courage to bring forth our hidden jewels we are able to lead a bigger life, a happier life and a more expanded and interesting life.

Isn’t that the kind of life we all want?

How to know if you’re playing small.

• You know that you are playing small when you don’t accept credit for the outstanding work you are doing.
• You are playing small when you don’t share your ideas, because you think they probably aren’t that good anyway.
• You are playing small when you don’t do something you want to do because you don’t feel you deserve it.
• You are playing small when you are afraid to take an important next step and so you do nothing. It is easier to stay where you are, locked in place, than to take a risk.

It seems safe, staying locked in place, like a ship in the harbor. But that is not what ships, or you, are made for.

The costs of playing small.

Playing small has big costs. It affects our quality of life.

Playing small if often driven by fear, and thought fear feels risky, playing small can result in anxiety.

Sometimes playing small means you work too hard at the wrong things. You may do work better done by others and not the higher-level work you should be doing.

When you play small, you hold back. That can hinder your relationships, or even your income.

When you don’t spend a lot of time doing things you love to do and that you are good at, you are more likely to feel stressed and suffer from exhaustion or burnout.

Perhaps most damaging is the underlying feeling that you were born for something bigger or better, and not doing anything about it is the biggest waste of all. Regret is a harsh companion.

We’ve probably all suffered from playing small syndrome.

• We wait for permission from some authority- when we have the authority within ourselves all along.
• We over-prepare or over-learn because it keeps us from taking action.
• We listen to our inner critic- a harsh voice that increases our self-doubt as it conspires to keep us safe by keeping us down.

Ouch.

How can we avoid playing small?

To live better, we have to learn to trust our own thinking.

We have to listen to our inner mentor and dismiss the inner critic.

We have to assess what we know, trust in its worthiness and bring it forth into the world.

We have to trust that when we commit to an action and go forth, the universe or God or whatever you wish to call the divine force that is bigger than us will conspire to help us.

No one knows you and what your most amazing life looks like. It is up to you to create that vision and then take action.

So, as Lady Macbeth famously said, “Screw your courage to the sticking-place and we’ll not fail.”

Let’s get on with it.

Let’s live big. Let’s be amazing.

Recap:

Playing small is a common way of being that keeps you safe and prevents you from getting too much attention. But the downside of that is that it also holds you back. You can’t live an inspired life if you aren’t willing to get in the game.

Quote: 

“Screw your courage to the sticking-place and we’ll not fail.”

Lady MacBeth in William Shakespeare’s MacBeth 

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Book: Elizabeth Gilbert, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear

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