5 Things Children Wish You Would Remember About Childhood

You were once a child, then you grew up.  Now, with all the obligations and stresses of being a grown up, you may have forgotten what it is like to be a child.  As an adult, you are helping a new generation to grow up. On behalf of children, we would like to refresh your memory, and give you a bit of perspective of what it is like to be a child. Here are five things  children wish you would remember about being a child.

1. Children have little freedom.

Freedom is like cotton candy. Kids want it but when they get it, they don’t always know what to do with it.  Freedom can becomes a sticky mess because they don’t know how to consume it correctly.

Elementary school aged kids have little freedom.  They often have to ask, “Where are we going?” or “How long will we be there?” Can you imagine having to ask these questions multiple times a day because you really don’t know what is going to happen?

Children live a life that is greatly dictated by the adults around them, often for good reasons such as safety or consistency.  However, a little freedom is a good thing. It helps children to feel autonomy and to learn to make good choices. Just like cotton candy, it is a sweet treat every once in a while as long as a grown-up helps the child to make sure it doesn’t become a sticky mess.

2. Children don’t get to control what they eat.

Children also have little autonomy in their choice of food.  School lunch is a predetermined combination of foods and portion sizes. At home, young kids are generally at the mercy of their parents for meal times and choices.  Can you see why it seems like a momentous occasion for children to have any say in the supper choice?

When was the last time you had to ask someone before you could go into your kitchen to get a bowl of ice cream?  And if someone told you “no” on the way to the kitchen to get that ice cream, how would you respond?  Would your response mirror that of a child?  Most likely so. If you want a snack, you get one.  Rarely do you have to ask someone. If you are having a particularly rough day, do you ever reward yourself with a chocolate, a latte, or some other special treat?

Remember this the next time kids beg you for a food choice that seems irrelevant to you.  They aren’t trying to annoy you, they just want what you take for granted…choice in what they eat and drink.  Giving children occasional choices in meals or snacks can bring great joy.

3. Children often don’t get a choice in clothing.

Much like the food example above, kids often have little choice when it comes to their attire. Children’s clothes are bought by adults, often with little input from the child.  Sometimes dress is dictated by school uniforms or dress codes.

Adults often request that children change their clothes. Children don’t understand why the purple spotted scarf doesn’t go with the comfy striped, pastel sweatshirt.  They don’t understand that certain situations call for certain types of clothes- thus the tank top in January.

Think of how excited adults get on “Casual Fridays” or other days when they get to dress in a way that is fun and comfortable.  Adults use clothing as a form of personal expression. Kids want comfort and personal expression too, and don’t understand why they can’t have it. Looking good has a whole different meaning to them than it has to you.

Consider letting them wear Fourth of July bandannas in December and call it their version of Casual Friday. Try and build in some degree of choice for clothing selections on school spirit days.  Your students will appreciate it and you might be surprised at the creative styles they concoct.

4. Children find being in school all day difficult.

The school day is long for children.  Yes, you did it and “got through it.”  Kids today sit longer, test more, have less recess and fewer opportunities in school for unstructured time.  Do you remember the times you struggled to pay attention in elementary school? You may have blocked out all of those memories.

Think of days you struggle to pay attention. You may complain and discuss those rough days with your friends.  Consider this…your students may understand those days as well as your adult friends, maybe even better.

It is OK to acknowledge that you know how kids feel when they get frustrated with spending so many hours each day sitting in school. Together, brainstorm solutions for being resilient through the tough days. The elementary students in your life may just come up with some ideas that work for you too.

5.Children want and need to talk.

Sharing a room with your friends all day and NOT TALKING is unnatural.  People are social by nature.  Kids learn through social interactions.  Developmentally they NEED to talk.  So when we put them in a classroom with 25 peers it is only natural that they want to talk.

Honestly, if you were in a room with 25 of your friends all day, wouldn’t you have trouble not leaning over and telling them about the funny thing that happened over the weekend? Obviously, kids can’t talk freely with their peers all day.  However, discuss with them how to find appropriate times and ways to talk with their friends. Let them know that talking is natural.  It just needs to be at the right times and in the right places. They love to about their lives and are often eager for an adult to listen when given the opportunity.

Given the demands of adulthood, we may think it is easy to be a child.  Our memories are often more nostalgic than realistic, and it is easy to remember the fun parts at the expense of the difficult ones. With a little perspective, you can be aware of and sympathetic to the realities of being a child today.

Hoping you haven’t “grown up” too much,